unchangeable bird 🦃
@unchangeablebrd
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Following
679
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27,650
sleeping intellectual giant
Ohio, USA
Joined February 2016
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@SandyFrizzle
The one on the right reminds me of my cousin who has her own name tattooed on her belly in old English font
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2K
@Bennihana70
@EBMgoneWILD
@KevinMKruse
He didn’t drown though . His massive swollen balls helped him stay buoyant
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959
@BacklineNurse
My mom grew up in Fort Wayne Indiana and found out the shocking name of the mayor when she was just born.
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@LolOverruled
It is. He makes repurposed vehicles for people in need. And the irony of him being hit by a snow plow (a repurposed vehicle) isn’t lost on me
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811
@GrahamB47
Two people intertwined, four arms, four legs (8 total appendages) becoming a human spider. Beautiful
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584
@DiabolicalSpuds
My aunt who had Down’s and was non verbal was being abused by a home health aid. She would hit her with a belt. My mom was giving her a bath and found lash marks. Needless to say that the woman was fired
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614
@BarrettGay3
There’s a fallen heroes website that keeps track of every police officer who died in the line of duty. And I’m not kidding when I say they have police dogs, at least one of which they left in a hot car
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552
@gracecamille_
This guy looks like he just jumps in women's laps and pretends to be a cat. And that's how he wins
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448
@MentalHeadline
The British in Spain are a plague. Just stumbling around blind drunk or complaining or both. Even the elderly were walking around pissed, mostly going to “british pubs” because god forbid they accidentally eat some of the best food in the world
7
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404
@BLUNDERBUSSTED
Had a woman tell me she just wanted to be friends after a date, then tell me she was obsessed with me, then ghost me for a month, then ask when we were going out again, send nudes, then cancel a date, then say she just wanted to come over, then say I wasn't taking her seriously.
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296
@Bitcoin_Shill
@jratcliff
@evepeyser
Free? I blackmail my barber and he pays me in addition to cutting my hair!
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1
218
@orinanne
This reminds me of the Frenchman in his 30s who pretended to be a missing Texas teen.
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237
@sheriadidthat
Had a friend move there from Ohio (not exactly known for our food culture) who thought she had COVID because everything was so bland and tasteless. Felt like she was losing her tastebuds. She didn’t. The food just sucked on a scale she’d never experienced
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186
@kittynouveau
They usually have free masks available too. He’s just absolutely being a baby about it
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165
@KelseyTuoc
David Grann wrote a great article about junk science in fire forensics called “trial by fire “ it’s incredible
3
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154
@kat__stafford
So far I’ve seen black people wearing their masks with far greater frequency than white people.
3
5
115
@shreyabasu003
A very important event for worker safety- both for demanding clear fire exits and also for rampant use of asbestos in fireproofing steel (and everything else).
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104
@eerrriiicaa
Onion had a story about a guy treating his girlfriend to a sumptuous 39 second massage
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@BasedKashiBar
Not all a curse, they wouldn’t be able to step dance that fast without small foibles
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@GerryMcBride
It’s also unrealistically stressful. A character gets trapped in the walk-in refrigerator- almost impossible
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@tumblebrutus_
This guy’s entire personality is that he’s a creative genius chef and yet he routinely fails to understand the basics of cooking
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75
@offbeatorbit
@notceci
She rode the horse to the doctors office and the horse looked in the window during the surgery
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81
@john_e_bones
@WojteksGrandson
I would simply spray liquid nitrogen on the monkey mid air and follow it with a martial arts backhand strike - fully shattering it
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@LeaMaric
It’s a Jewish and Muslim tradition. Also a lot of Africans practice circumcision for other reasons
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79
@skatie420
Frozen in time forever, he cracks her giant amniotic egg into a bathtub for await further grooming
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76
@muppetspice
@ericriveracooks
He literally makes tweezer food and criticizes every one else who does it.
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@MentalHeadline
Lots of great food in Spain. I was very impressed. The jamon alone was incredible
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@classiclib3ral
@ActNormalOrElse
A friend of mine lived in Australia for a few years in the early 2000s and couldn't believe the local push back against Mexican food until she went to a few Mexican restaurants. Seems like they were trying to make Tex-mex and didn't know how.
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@murderxbryan
She's also 100% right. They have little signs they give each other like the managers in baseball. Except the signs are really boring and contrived. Like they fake slip on a banana peel when they want there to be a bunch of slides.
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@ArmyofNaveed
This same thing has happened to 8 people I know. It’s not rare or a coincidence. This appears to be standard practice for a large percentage of the police force
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@tveitprivilege
@xeni
Marie Kondo is just one opinion. Heard there’s a lady named Marie Old Spooky House that says I should keep a room filled with old computer monitors and moldering newspapers just because.
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@JenAshleyWright
Not up to the human rights standards of conquistadors is probably not the best reputation
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@generalslug
Animals are capable of being very violent but this is probably a case of messed up, bad owners though.
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@murderxbryan
I’ve brewed beer with two separate women- both immediately talked about divorce. Luckily we weren’t married yet
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@Cinesnark
Jason Momoa has a fragile heart condition and a rare form of asthma. He’s always breaking hearts and taking people’s breath away
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@catd00kie
The Australian accent is a combination of British English, a head cold, and Medea from Diary of a Mad Black Woman. And yet they get all of the acting jobs doing southern American accents.
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@TheRickWilson
@thedailybeast
The T Rex seems like a good choice because of his small hands and ass sticking out posture
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38
@LucyXIV
The best part is that it came down to a lightning round at the end where I identified the theme to Roseanne two seconds into the first harmonica note
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@ameliaelizalde
Before I thought people had no empathy, now I know it’s just severely limited by imagination
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@Very__Regular
Had a friend who hated olives but I blended them up and served them to him as olive tapenade he he liked them. Full on baby food trick. They're literally children.
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@mousterpiece
Lindelof could never stick the ending of any of his shows. The new Watchmen was the best of them.
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@ZeroSuitCamus
@daveweigel
She’s already twee and campy enough. He’s going to put her in a bedazzled coffin
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41
@whiotv
Why would he pose as a bud light delivery man, specifically? Did he find the outfit at Good Will? Or does he just like bad beer?
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36
@rachelmillman
Went for my first massage and put the tiny face cloth over my butt and lay on the sheets. The lady lost it
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@Karnythia
My friends kid told me that grandparents disappear so that we don’t have to worry about them
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