rob delaney Profile Banner
rob delaney Profile
rob delaney

@robdelaney

Followers
1,513,763
Following
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Statuses
71,019

You can get my new book, A Heart That Works, at the link below.

London, England
Joined February 2009
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
11 months
Literary festival season (❤️) & I’m doing the rounds talking about this book. Have you read it? Get one!
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
6 years
As of today I’ve been sober 1️⃣6️⃣ years. 16 yrs ago I was in jail in a wheelchair, covered in blood, both arms broken, after driving blackout drunk into a building. Today, I’m home with my wife & kids & I’m healthy. Thank you to all who’ve helped me.🤝
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
2 years
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
3 years
Just met a 1 year old named Barbara. Didn’t know they were doing that!
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
6 years
This is the first Father’s Day since my beautiful Henry died. Love today to all dads & moms who’ve lost a child.🦉
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
7 years
I'm truley sorry I voted for Trump. I only wanted disabled kids to lose their Medicaid ;I didn't want people to know im racist
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
4 years
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
4 years
As of today I’ve been sober for 18 years. I hesitated posting this today but I feel duty-bound to let those who need help with booze or drugs know that there is another way. Thank you to everyone who’s helped me along the way.❤️
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
4 years
May I ask you to watch this short video I made about the NHS?
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
4 years
Just stormed out of “Cats” with my sons Bairon & Tannis because of how much the Judi Dench cat licks her own asshole. Once I’d understand, but she acts like the thing is a goddamn buffet. Tannis is still crying
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
4 years
I have never “cat called” a woman. I go home, paint her from memory & then yell at the painting. It’s called respect.
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
2 years
Pretty hostile of a job to require a college degree. “You and/or your parents must take out loans of $100,000 or we won’t let your log into SalesForce in our windowless building next to the airport.”
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
4 years
ANTIFA: cool & good
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
4 years
CNN’s homepage right now. Thank you protesters across the US & the world.
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
6 years
You guys poll any other private citizens’ popularity? How’s my cousin Geoff doing?
@FoxNews
Fox News
6 years
Hillary Clinton popularity hits all-time low, poll shows
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
5 years
Today would have been our son Henry’s first day of reception. Would’ve loved to see him in his little uniform like his big brothers. ❤️ to all parents & siblings of wee ones who’ve died.
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
3 years
How does 56 yr old Kamala Harris wear Chuck Taylors all the time? I’m 43 & if I wore them for 3 hours I would have to go to the emergency room. Are they hollowed out & filed with DARPA orthotic gel?
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
5 years
Hint: the one woman who doesn’t is worth $29 million.
@AllOnMedicare
Medicare for All
5 years
75% of the women on this cover support #MedicareForAll #SinglePayerSunday
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
8 months
Show me this photo if I ever need to lift a car off a child or something
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
5 years
Active shooter drills?
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
5 years
Our first Christmas without Henry came & went. The day itself was okay, maybe because there were so many horrible, painful days leading up to it; we must have hit our quota or something. We talked about him a lot & included his memory throughout the day.
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
5 years
1️⃣7️⃣
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
4 years
>80 million people live in Iran. I know many wonderful people from Iran. I don’t want 20 yr olds from Indiana to go there & kill civilians & kids & then get killed themselves. Imperial war is the darkest evil.
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
4 years
For all those wondering, this is my son Nestor. We share no blood but he is my life. He came from Cuba (legally, of course) six years ago and lives with me in Florida. I am so proud of him and raising him has been the best, most rewarding thing I’ve done in my life.
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
4 years
Oh my God.
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
8 years
"Now I don't know what this is, but I know I don't like it."
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
7 years
Jason Chaffetz, fresh from surgery FOR A PREEXISTING CONDITION, en route to sign death warrant for disabled children.
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
1 year
@kenklippenstein
Ken Klippenstein
1 year
The top 1% captured nearly twice as much new wealth as the rest of the world over last two years
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
5 years
I hate people who are like “So & so got me sick.” What are you, fuckin Columbo the epidemiologist? The world’s a toilet. You got yourself sick. Fuck off & stop blaming others for your filth.
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
3 years
The iPhone “dashboard” or whatever shows you “featured photos” every morning. Mine always include a few of my son Henry who died 3 yrs ago. I cannot put into words how much I love it. I love to look at him every morning of every day.
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
4 years
I am SICK. I’ve tried to keep my mouth shut & I’ll probably delete this, but Melania profaning the White House Rose Garden with her tasteless “redesign” is the final straw. I will no longer be voting Trump.
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
4 years
Trump tweeted that he did a good job walking down a ramp & then Ted Cruz did a tweet challenging an actor to fight another man. Raw masculine power.
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
4 years
Best lockdown burn so far: my wife said to me “Just because you’re bad at being a man doesn’t mean you’re a feminist.”
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
5 years
Thinking of other bereaved dads today. I’ve really hated today. It’s been excruciating to be honest. I look forward to tomorrow.
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
5 years
How to say this simply? I lived in the US until I was 37 & had private health insurance most of my life. For the past 5 yrs I’ve lived in the UK & use the NHS. The NHS is a HUGE part of why I might never move back to the US.
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
7 years
Hi there. I'm Mitch McConnell. When I'm not having disabled people arrested for protesting a bill that will kill them, my hobbies include
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
3 years
Just had my 2nd Pfizer dose! Had my 3rd Moderna on Friday and tomorrow I’ll get my 8th AstraZeneca. I’m in a great deal of pain & can “hear” my blood.
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
3 years
I appreciate that the GameStop stuff is “funny” to some of you but I had planned to buy my wife a (modest) boat for Valentine’s Day & now I can’t & I’m going to have to work up the courage to ask my dad to loan me the money. This was NOT on my 2021 bingo card.
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
5 years
Haha only just watched this. Matthews sucks. Bitch if my taxes go from $1000 to $1100 but my usurious, useless insurance premium goes from $800 to $0, I SAVE MONEY YOU BLATHERING STOOGE. He 100% cried & apologized to his boss for not making Warren buckle.
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
5 years
What a cunt
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
5 years
Megan Rapinoe with the assist, Ali Krieger heads it into the net.
@thedailybeast
The Daily Beast
5 years
U.S. women’s soccer star Ali Krieger: Trump is angered by women he "cannot control or grope"
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
4 years
Watch this man! Just now on Fox. Get this in front of your Michigan aunt or coach. Amazing.
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
4 years
My 7 yr old wrote a letter to the tooth fairy yesterday. He hasn’t lost a tooth yet, nor does he have any loose teeth. He just wanted to introduce himself.
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
7 years
Next Sunday Mike & Karen Pence will spend $223 billion taxpayer dollars to fly to the moon for 15 minutes & yodel the N word at an apple pie
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
5 years
It should be safe, legal (& local) for women to get abortions & my taxes should pay for it.🐏🦚🏌🏼‍♂️
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
3 years
As insane as any Trump tweet.
@JoeBiden
Joe Biden
3 years
In one month, we begin to heal.
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
5 years
We got our 1 yr old his vaccinations the other day because we’re not insane & we give a shit about herd immunity & ppl w compromised immune systems.
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
1 year
Tesla’s plummeting stock price might be “funny” to some but consider this: my portfolio has suffered to the extent that I will have to reduce the number of multi-family homes I buy to drive up rent in cities I’ve never even been to. Still laughing?
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
4 years
❤️❤️❤️
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
11 years
If your response to calls for gun control is “Should we get rid of cars too?” the answer is, for you, yes. You should not have a gun or car.
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
3 years
Knocked it out of the PARK in Chernobyl. Watching it I consciously thought, "Oh, we have a new movie star." Between that & how funny he was in Friday Night Dinner... just unreal talent. Rest in peace, Paul Ritter.
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
6 years
I’ll eat his wife’s pussy
@TheRoot
The Root
6 years
DJ Khaled says he doesn't perform oral sex, but expects it from his wife because he's the king: "Different rules for men"
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
1 year
Gorgeous day for a nurses’ strike outside Great Ormond St Hospital. So grateful for their unmatched care & skill. Now let’s get them the fucking pay rise they deserve & that the nation can *easily* afford. Austerity is a choice so change your mind or get in the bin!✊🏼❤️ @theRCN
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
5 years
Love that this clip is even taking America by storm. Well done @OwenJones84
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
1 year
My wife wanted to make love tonight. Had to take a rain check. I’m still so fuckin angry about the Chinese spy balloon. I’ve never known rage, or fear, like this.
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
3 years
🇺🇸It is my GOD GIVEN RIGHT as an American to contract the novel coronarivus at a CIGAR BAR and then starve to death as I try to study the HEIROGLYPHICS in the COBRA plan from my wife's old JOB to determine if I'm ALLOWED to go to the hospital for under $70,000.00🇺🇸
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
4 years
“But I’ll be damned if you’re not gonna pay for your kid’s chemo.” - Joe Biden
@JoeBiden
Joe Biden
4 years
Let me be clear: No one should have to pay for coronavirus testing or treatment.
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
3 years
when you see one of these MFs? You just KNOW it’s dinner time! 🤣
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
4 years
Here’s another tweet, you pieces of shit
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
3 years
My 9 year old who is doing remote learning just printed this out & I don’t know why
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
5 years
Remembering the wonderful young midwife in a hijab who delivered my son Henry. The Muslim surgeon who removed his first tumor. I am grateful for the care Muslims in & out of the NHS have shown my family. I will show you care & solidarity always.
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
6 years
Kids don’t worry about getting suspended. I got suspended for more than 3 days in high school & I have my own tv show & a sexy wife. Piss on the GOP & the NRA. They fear you. Get high on that.
@RWPUSA
Richard W. Painter
6 years
College admissions officers take note. Any high school student with this three day suspension on the record should get special consideration and some extra college credits for public service.
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
6 years
Riding in black cabs was one of Henry’s great joys. He would often thank the driver in sign language at the end of a ride. Many drivers wouldn’t accept £ when they learned our destination or would give me £ to donate to hospital trust. Good people.
@biggus_mickus
Biggus Mickus
6 years
@robdelaney I’m so sorry to hear your sad news Rob. I took you and Henry to GOSH one day last year and it stuck with me what an absolute trooper of a boy he was. He was, without hyperbole, an inspiration to me, and I’m so gutted to hear of his passing. Sending love to you and your family.
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
2 years
🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸
@CNN
CNN
5 years
To save his parents money, this diabetic teen cut back on his insulin
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
7 years
No but my favorite aunt is?
@jconline
Journal & Courier
7 years
California wildfires: Is your favorite wine in danger?
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
2 years
Sunak correct that there’s no “magic money tree.” It’s not magic & it’s actually more of a forest, watered with the sweat & blood of workers & then chipped down and hoarded by him & his billionaire mates while your family starves & freezes.
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
4 years
Motherfucker I’m an immigrant & I turned a fucking cash hose on & sprayed it up the NHS’s ass the second my plane landed. Some of that £ paid the European & Asian nurses, midwives & doctors who treat my family & yours brilliantly. Fuck off 12 times immediately.
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
7 years
You literally sent this from a golf course you fat bigot
@realDonaldTrump
Donald J. Trump
7 years
The Mayor of San Juan, who was very complimentary only a few days ago, has now been told by the Democrats that you must be nasty to Trump.
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
4 years
One time Jon Hamm was sitting in the booth next to me, but he had gained a lot of weight & was dresssed like shit & crying but then I realized it was just a mirror.
@JLewisland
James Lewis
4 years
Who is the best famous person you’ve found yourself sitting near in a restaurant? Mine is Roger Moore, next table, lunch at Zafferano, 2013.
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
6 months
This is what it was like spending time with our son’s dead body. He had cancer so there was nothing we could do to stop it. I think I’m posting this because many making/avoiding decisions right now haven’t held their child’s corpse.
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
5 years
My mom would like a word.
@TMZ
TMZ
5 years
Kylie Jenner Trademarks 'Rise and Shine'
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
7 years
As of today, I've been sober 1️⃣5️⃣ years.
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
9 months
Shrek & the BTK Killer
@DylanMAllman
Dylan Allman
9 months
Name a ticket with a better chance of winning the general presidential election than Kennedy/Gabbard. I'll wait.
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
6 years
I hope this helps.
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
3 years
It is not possible for me to reply to every bereaved parent & sibling who has replied to this but please know I love you all & am grateful for all the help you give me & my family just by trudging along. ❤️
@BBCr4today
BBC Radio 4 Today
3 years
We've been hearing from artists and writers about moments in their lives that brought comfort, while the world is a bit bleak. For Grief Awareness Week, we heard from actor, comedian and writer @robdelaney , about how his perspective on hope changed, after losing his son #R4Today
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
4 years
If there’s one thing Pete & Amy hate more than each other, it’s you having health care.
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
6 years
Give a man a fish… Just give him the fish, asshole. He’s hungry, you’ve got an extra fish. Hand it over, fuckface. He doesn’t have time to go to your shitty “fishing school.” I’m gonna count to 3.
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
4 years
Can’t believe this is on CBS. This guy @tonydokoupil is so good; such a light touch. Watch & RT.
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
7 years
. @seanspicer Can you get this taken down?
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
6 years
Friends, if today wasn’t already great enough, I just got the top of the bus to myself & I can sit up front & pretend I’m driving! #BeepBeep !
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
5 years
Rot in hell nazi cunt
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
3 years
Hey man these are personal messages. I’d be greatful if you deleted
@i_love_my_wive
𝐩𝐚𝐮𝐥
3 years
If anyone on here knows @robdelaney personally, can you please check on him & report back?
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
3 years
1️⃣9️⃣
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
5 years
WHYYY did I wait so long to watch this?? So happy to share with my American friends after it’s made the rounds here in the UK.
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
4 years
My wife wants to make love while the President has the freaking novel coronavirus! Nice try, psycho!
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
3 months
❤️God bless this titan among men❤️
@omarsuleiman504
Dr. Omar Suleiman
3 months
Our hero, the man of the year Wael Al-Dahdouh has left Gaza for medical treatment. His wife, daughter, two sons, grandchild all killed by Israel. His own life almost taken multiple times. A symbol of Gazan resilience. May Allah heal all his wounds, physical and emotional. Ameen
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
3 years
Can’t wait to get vaccinated and rail your aunt
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
5 years
My son needed to see a dr. today. Got a walk-in appt at local NHS GP. Dr. was kind/thorough. No co-pay or visit to a billing office. Wasn’t free; it’s funded thru taxes & Nat’l Ins. contributions. I wish Americans could experience this. #MedicareForAll
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
5 years
Just vaccinated your son while you were at shithead class
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
5 years
A Gallery of Cowards ,
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
2 years
Make sure your 𝖌𝖔𝖙𝖍 has access to shade & plenty of water during this heatwave
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
6 years
I hated people who showed disrespect to people with disabilities before I had a disabled child. Now? I’ll fucking shred you. They’ll hose you off the road & into the sewer.
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
5 years
If respecting women is a crime then put me in prison for 700 consecutive life sentences. #
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
5 years
That’s hilariously low.
@AP
The Associated Press
5 years
BREAKING: G-7 countries have agreed to an immediate $20 million fund to help Amazon countries fight wildfires.
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
5 years
My sweet boy
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
4 years
Hang on a second I have to go to the hospital in a helicopter
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
6 years
Hey get off Twitter & go back to work making sure the victims who didn’t die go bankrupt from the medical bills they’ll get.
@SpeakerRyan
Paul Ryan
6 years
Reports out of Texas are devastating. The people of Sutherland Springs need our prayers right now.
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
6 years
Ivanka Trump yanking my niece Emma out of her orthopedic shoes to give them to a billionaire.
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@robdelaney
rob delaney
4 years
My kids wouldn’t stop fighting while I was trying to make lunch so I told them Santa Claus died of coronavirus
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