Claire Penis
@ZeroSuitCamus
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I’m the only one who thinks The Pyramids are normal
Sodom Today Gomorrah The World
Joined January 2017
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This is the greatest video ever made
SORRY what’s this train called??? say it again my guy 😭
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Crying laughing who is Norville
First posters from HBO Maxʼs R-rated animated series 'VELMA' have been released.
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NYC hospitals keep calling me like “Heyy you owe us like $11,000” and I’m just like “..... ok” lol
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Can you tell him to stop? I took an edible ❤️🩹
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Their boss watching this tik tok from Tijuana and his heart just dropping lol
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“Business school” sounds so made up. It’s what a kindergartner would say if you asked them where dads go all day
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Not to split hairs but any army is they/them like that’s just how you refer to groups of people
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Correct me if I’m wrong bc I haven’t seen it yet but I think he does other stuff in the movie too
Keanu Reeves said just 380 words in "John Wick: Chapter 4," and he reportedly made $15 million.
Trusting reports of his pay, that's $39,473 per word.
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Yves Klein Blue Monochrome. Here’s a high school class on a field trip staring in complete awe at it. They made fun of every other painting on the floor but when they got to this one they just kept repeating “it’s so blue” “how is it so blue” “it’s so fucking blue” etc
If you see this tweet, you have to mention one of your favorite paintings.
I saw Ivan the Terrible and His Son Ivan at the Tretyakov Gallery in Moscow. It’s huge and fucked me up.
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Bro that’s not what I said, I said *exorcise* your demons. Now they’re fucking jacked, this isn’t good at all bro
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The most tapeworm’d up individual I’ve ever seen
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Toddler 1: what are we gonna do?? Im still hungry from yesterday…..
Toddler 2: lets say we want grilled cheese. There’s no way she can spend 4 1/2 hours making grilled cheese
The trad mom:
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If you’ve never gotten high and looked up top 40 pop music charts from the 1900’s and 1910’s I would highly, highly recommend it. Just almost passed out laughing bc Row Row Row Your Boat was on there
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Biblically accurate Angel
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He heard there was a 14 year old girl up there
Jared Leto climbed the Empire State Building earlier this morning.
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how did he die?
Skull of a Roman solider who died during the Gallic Wars, 1st century BC. Museo Rocsen in Argentina.
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My son asked me if he was gonna die someday. I told him “no” bc honestly I’m really not in the mood. Hope I did the right thing.
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*tarot reader reveals this card* now I know this looks bad,
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Last night a guy asked what my Twitter was so I typed it into his phone and he had me muted lol
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People will come on here and say anything. “He’s a 178 years old” no he’s not
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He’s like 120% tapeworm at this point. This is like…. the tapeworm equivalent of three kids in a trenchcoat and fedora going to hooters giving the waitress $5 and saying “one kiss, please”
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Genuinely, unironically very sound advice for white boys???
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SHES TRANS?!!?!
Hunter Schafer says "I’ve gotten offered tons of trans roles, and I just don’t want to do it. I don’t want to talk about it.”
"Now I just want to be a girl and finally move on...I know for a fact that I’m one of the most famous trans people in media right now, and I do feel a…
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Knowing how to do the moves in a fighting game is literally cheating
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I’m on a delta flight rn in first class and I think the guy sitting next to me just offered me $100,000 to suck him off?
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This reply is to this day prob the funniest thing I’ve ever seen on the internet
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Whoever picked the Sprite Drake image deserves a raise
Drake’s new diss track, “Taylor Made Freestyle,” features AI verses from Tupac and Snoop 🤖
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I just found out people with ADHD are stupid. That’s why they seem flaky or distracted, they’re just not as smart as normal people
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I’m not the strep throat I’m the throat that strepped up
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It’s crazy that in 1998 they found 10 dissected bodies (4 adults, 6 children) buried in the backyard of Ben Franklin’s London home, all forensically dated to have been buried at the time he was living there lol 🥴
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SHSKDHDKDHDKDJKDDHDLHFDKFHDLNDLFLFJDHDLDKDHDLDDsjddhslbkdhsdlsjbdkjd
i haven't watched the good doctor but this clip is unintentionally hilarious
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I literally cannot stop laughing
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They’re normal
Let's do this - what is your best theory on the pyramids?
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He looks fine he’s 85 what do you want lol
Jack Nicholson, 85, looks disheveled on LA balcony as he's seen for first time in TWO YEARS
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My fave detail about this video that I just noticed is the one second shot of the dog where it briefly begins levitating 2 inches off the ground
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Funniest thing about this movie is that most of his problems aren’t even caused by him being invisible they’re just a function of him being very rude and unpleasant
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This user has hidden this tweet from virgins. L͟e͟a͟r͟n͟ ͟m͟o͟r͟e͟
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My big conspiracy theory that I believe is that this YouTube guy does the egirl nose makeup
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[guy who is not a pedophile but has the exact same car watching this] FUCK!
32 year old Toronto man who came to pick up a 15 year old girl ‘escapes’ in his tiny car when confronted...
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Azealia Banks telling Grimes she smells like a roll of nickels and has no bone marrow
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*after standing with good posture for 10 seconds* no this can’t be right
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My dad and I watched this movie on demand in total silence after he found gay porn in my internet history when I was 12
I found the moment! Transformers (2007) ending with an unironic Optimus Prime monologue about the promise of mankind as camera pans to Shia Labeef & Megan Fox making out on the hood of an '07 Camaro as sun sets and “What I’ve Done” by Linkin Park fades in was when America Peaked
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GASTON GLOCK?!!?!?!!?!
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Idk man it seems like you should probably know tho since it’s what your entire account is about
How on earth did they do this without power tools or modern machines?
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“What’s even the point of Catholicism”
Pope has luncheon with trans group.
So funny. What’s even the point of Catholicism? Feel guilty for touching yourself and then listen to the man in the dress tell you to submit to gender ideology anyway.
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Sorry to Christopher Nolan for ever thinking every single cop in Gotham City going into that one tunnel at the same time was unrealistic lmao
#BREAKING
: Riverside County Sheriff’s deputy shot to death In California, massive police chase with the suspect underway on the 15 Freeway. There are reports of shots fired.
#BreakingNews
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You don’t understand The Bible until you understand that there are tens of thousands of scholars throughout history who have literally dedicated their lives to being this meme but for the three words before God appears
started reading the Bible and it just starts with God being there already. Interested in a prequel series about how he came to be
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Using an AI image of him bc he looks like shit in every real image is so funny
Neuralink, Elon Musk’s brain chip company just received FDA approval
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Just captured this from the front window of my Uber. Unreal. Hope Chelsea is okay 🙏
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My grandma told me she tried riding on the back of my grandpa’s motorcycle once and everyone in their village in Sicily threw rocks at them
–Your grandma wore very short mini skirts, thin panties, high boots, and no bra...
–She listened to Led Zeppelin, The Beatles, Janis Joplin, and Rolling Stones.
–She rode on motorcycles and fast cars.
–She smoked tobacco and other things...
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Guy chalking the end of his penis like a pool cue before he fucks you
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LETS GO BABY NEW YORK CITY NUMBAH ONE!!!!! GREATEST CITY IN THE WORLD BABY!!!!!!!!
New York City now has the worst air quality of any city on Earth.
If exposed to the current air quality in NYC for 24 hours, it would be equivalent to smoking about 6 cigarettes.
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Nothing can prepare you for the second paragraph here
Hollywood financier/producer MRC says it won't proceed with a Kanye West documentary.
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Brendan Fraser came into the restaurant I worked at and gave a 30% tip *after* factoring in everything we gave him on the house. Also told my manager I was doing great even tho I was so nervous I forgot to give him a fork and he had to flag me down and ask for one
We need to talk about Brendan Fraser's jaw-dropping performance as the villain in a Bollywood movie:
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George Lucas is alive
Jesus Christ. What the fuck happened to Star Wars. George Lucas must be turning in his grave-
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This is deeply distressing. Mr. Gordon you are straying further from the light of God and the truth of Eurodance by using a taciturn woman. Where is her love rhythm groove energy? Where is her 1994 smile? Nothing in the world was wrong in 1994 yet her face is troubled. Upsetting!
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It’s giving an over the pants handjob to three hours
Christopher Nolan says ‘OPPENHEIMER’ is his longest film yet.
“It's kissing three hours.”
(Source: )
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Yeah man the guy whose dynasty ended bc he let a hobo mind-meld with his wife is such a good ruler
Tsar Nicholas ii was the best ruler of the 20th century.
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I’m in the lab cooking up white boy moves
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I love commercials that are like “here’s to all the innovators, the changemakers, the breathtakers,” and it shows a montage featuring, like, a girl in a hijab skateboarding, a trans girl on the joker stairs, a goth girl with vampire teeth..... then at the end it’s like “Raytheon”
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Twitter ads 2 years ago: The new Arby’s Sandwich! 🤠
#Arbys
Twitter ads now: [picture of a fully nude woman with one arm] Wind turbines sever 20 limbs every second in America. Invest now in BitCoin Eugenics. Link in my bio for more [community note: this users bio is malware]
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You totaled your face trying to become Korean
12 year old boy calls out woke school board after he was sent home from school for wearing a t-shirt with the message “there are only 2 genders.”
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Yeah but I think we can look at a few context clues here and make a judgement call about this particular swastika
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Iconic fit. Like if Columbo was in smash bros and you changed his outfit
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Losing my mind laughing at the fact that this was the Pope
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It’s really incredible how many movies there are in which, suddenly, there is Matt Damon
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Me on acid about to explain to the waiter why I’m not paying for 64 oysters
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This is different bc it slays
“Wow the Good Doctor is nuts.. can’t believe this is on network TV”
One Tree Hill in 2009:
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Biden saying “and I was born there!” About Israel is the most sundowned thing he’s ever said
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“Did you know every strawberry has an average of 100 bugs in it?” Did you know TikTok is giving you psychosis?
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“I eat 3 pounds of beef and a stick of butter for breakfast and that usually holds me over for about an hour” my man, there is a creature within you
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3 minutes ago I saw a video of a male horse trying to mount a female horse and the female horse kicks the male horse in the head and it dies instantly
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Have just discovered something called “analog horror” on YouTube. It appears to be when you put a VHS filter on a video that isn’t scary. Will keep everyone posted on this phenomena
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Crying laughing at the ending of this video
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