no but it’s so cool that sometimes when you go to adopt a cat they’re like “oh. well he comes with this other cat because they’re best friends and have to be together”
“you have 24 hours to unfollow” is my favorite chronically online thing ppl say. completely writes off the possibility that people might have lives outside of the internet
the funniest thing about being sick is when you’re like “hm. i don’t feel so good. little tickle in my throat. better take a nap, maybe i’m coming down with something” and then you wake up from the nap feeling like you got hit by a bus and have the spanish flu
i am still dying over how many men yesterday were like “idk, if a stalker breaks into a woman’s house she should learn to let him in and speak to him nicely and deescalate the situation” no
when i say i need people to stop singing in cursive i mean it. you should be banned from singing if you sing like this. who did it first. who is to blame.
strict parents don’t know how to cope with having an adult child so they have to make up problems. four years ago someone found my wallet outside and dropped it off at a precinct. the police called to return it. to this day my mother refers to it as my “run in with the police”
i dated this guy in college and one time he let me bum a cig when i was drunk and i was like “thank youuuu you are literally jesus” and he said, dead fucking serious, “Please don’t say that. It contributes to my messiah complex and I really don’t want to backslide.”
adopting and then abandoning a cat because it did normal cat things (needed time to warm up to you, had a bathroom accident, scratched furniture, wanted to play) is sinister behavior and if you do it you will burn in hell for eternity
one time in high school my mom made me stop taking Adderall and start taking amino acids instead and then all my teachers were like “why aren’t you doing ur homework” and i had to be like “my mom replaced my meds with amino acid supplements”
social media is so…. sleeping on your side ages you. drinking with a straw ages you. laughing ages you. going outside without all of your skin covered and a giant hat ages you. crying ages you. and at a certain point it’s like. girl idgaf. being alive ages me! that’s the point!
the way she can’t act at all but the second her character has something bitchy to say she becomes very convincing because she switches to her Yelling at Kourtney voice is soooo 😭
it’s so wild to be like “she was married to a nazi” and completely leave out that she was a poor jewish teenager who married an older man and then had to escape the marriage omg
Quick reminder that this woman invented what created wifi, Bluetooth and GPS during the war to secretly help the allies while being married to a Nazi - oh and she was one of the best actress of the time
I love women
There's no other way to put it - Brian is sad.
It's been 5 months since he has been looking for a forever home and with every day that passes, we can see the light in his eye dim little by little.
We know his people are out there somewhere. We hope they find him today.
i mean it’s imitation crab. it’s whitefish and starch. did you think it grew on trees. did you think there was a special type of crab called an imitation crab that they killed for crab sticks
why are people mad at this . it’s hard to get kids to eat lots of veggies sometimes. romaine lettuce has lots of micronutrients . what’s the issue it’s like eating a salad before dinner
it’s funny how it was established that u need at least 10 days off for a covid infection and then the CEO of delta was like “can we plssss make it five days instead” and the government was like “sure! we will just ask the virus to be less serious”
having disability accommodations in college was so helpful. i would show up on the first day of a class with my accommodation list and the professors would take one look at it and say stuff like “…that’s not real” and “is there something i’m supposed to do with this”
i used to be like “damn, why did they institutionalize the guy that discovered hand washing when hand washing literally saved lives” but now i get it. humans are disgusting
mind you her eyes were closed the entire time she pulled supermarket strawberries out of the dirt in her backyard and said she got milk from her chickens
i dated a guy for like 10 months and then got irreversible ick because he tried to pick a fight with me over the pronunciation of gnocchi even though i spoke italian and he did not
i like when a man posts an AI girl like “you can’t tell me these don’t look real.” you can tell he was so horny at the time of posting that he didn’t notice she has 7,000 teeth
some men flirt by being like “i want you” over and over without ever being thoughtful or caring or bringing anything to the table. just horny and persistent and forever confused as to why nobody cares
i really believe that after c*vid we will never do anything to stop the spread of anything ever again, bug infestation or disease, because everyone is too offended by it
was telling what i thought was a non-horrifying story from my childhood to my friend and he was like “every time you talk about your parents it sounds like one of the really depressing flashback episodes of bojack horseman”
the hang ups my brain has from childhood are so funny. why do i always think people are going to yell at me. i think everyone is going to punish me. my dentist. my property manager. the barista at the coffee shop. a person i pass on the sidewalk. my therapist. my—
one time i tried to play a stardew file where i romanced multiple men in town and why did nobody tell me that they confront you about it at the saloon in a group….
i’m aware that she clarified they have an equal division of labor but my real question is how do you keep turning that ring light on all night to film every time your baby wakes up 😭😭😭😭
remember when people called pete davidson “butthole eyes” and then ariana grande had to come on here and be like “don’t call him that. he has crohn’s disease”
she didn’t die from covid, she died from bacterial sepsis from capnocytophaga (which is from animal bites) and she was unable to fight off the infection because she did not have a spleen bc she lost it in a car accident. this is very weird misinformation to spread for no reason
just asked my ex if he would take three wishes from a genie if there was a 5% chance i would disappear forever and he said “why are you asking me girlfriend questions”
when i was a teenager my mom tried to come with me to therapy and get the therapist to tell me to stop dressing like a little goth bitch and the therapist looked at my mom and was like “i mean… it’s a pair of doc martens, girl”
these types of guys are my fave in a way. they will mythologize any woman being nice to them as a goddess and spirit guide and sister. they will throw ass in taco bell. they always carry a noisy key lanyard around everywhere. know all of jennifer hudson’s lines in dreamgirls
virologists: looks like this covid variant is giving people way more gastrointestinal issues than previous ones
my entire tl: yeah haha i think i have that crazy stomach bug that’s going around? it’s awful, i feel like i’m dying. so crazy, this stomach bug
guys……………….. i just realized this 🫂 emoji is two people hugging. i have really bad eyesight and i thought it was 🎥 and i couldn’t figure out why people were commenting a film camera on my sad posts. i thought it was a meme i missed and just never investigated it
is anyone else confused about the plot. why are they pretending to be in a relationship. i feel like that would’ve been a compelling piece of information to include in the trailer but instead it’s just “these two… they are pretending to date. can they do it”
This vulnerable person with Down Syndrome is seen performing on stage in fetish gear and holding a whip at an LGBT Club in Oslo, Norway.
This vulnerable man is part of ‘Drag Syndrome’ a UK based Drag Company where people with Down syndrome perform in LGBT nightclubs around the…
one time i was in an OF girl group chat and someone misgendered me. another girl corrected her and then the girl who misgendered me DMed me to let me know that she would be unfollowing me for her “mental health” after the distress of someone telling her to use they/them pronouns
“a shortage isn’t gonna kill anyone” is what people think when they think ADHD is just a mild personality quirk and not a debilitating disorder for many 😭
i wouldn’t mind my period every month if it were just cramps but it’s never just cramps. my brain suddenly thinks life isn’t worth living, it feels like my insides are being scraped out with a melon baller, and at least once an hour it feels like i sat my ass directly on a knife
To the LADIES on my TL who have lived on their own (no roommates etc..) in their own place, what’s a piece of advice you’d give a young lady moving out on her own? I’m gathering some info for my nieces.
i wish i had been able to enjoy my early 20s more but sadly it was my destiny to be strange and miserable until i figured out how to deal with the way my childhood made me weird. and that’s okay!
The wife of Stockton Rush, the pilot of the missing Titanic tour submarine, is actually the great-great-granddaughter of two first-class passengers who died on the Titanic, records show.
A fictionalized version of the couple is even featured in the movie.