Starshark, AO
@Starshark668
Followers
507
Following
1,000
Media
2,387
Statuses
41,020
Nobel Prize winner. Poet Laureate. Retired SAS. Outrageous liar. Mastodon: @starshark @aus .social @starshark .bsky.social
Joined June 2014
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@thomas_violence
I don’t think this is fair. I worked with a South African and he was a great guy! Do anything for you! Mind you, it turns out I got his accent wrong and he was really Norwegian.
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@rlycalm
Hi, Elon's sex worker here. I thought it was a bit rude that the person who says he 'has a weird dick' got banned, because I am here to tell you it is REALLY weird. Trump's doesn't even hold a candle. But it is true he doesn't smell like nachos. Too much sulfur notes for a start.
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@TomaNistor
@timheidecker
No, if it was parody it'd say 'parody' in the name field. It just says 'parity' which is a little confusing, but definitely not the same thing. My god. How could he leave us when we need him most?
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@shaun_vids
I just like the continuity of cartoons that say, “kids today are too much of a pussy, not like in my day”. This on is from 1627.
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SPARTANS! TONIGHT WE DINE IN HADES! so this is a final reminder that if you have any dietary requirements, please let the chef Tantalus know, and be advised that he can't prepare any dishes involving fruit. It's a whole thing with him. Good luck!
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@TheUnaButters
@CredenceClearoj
@chipslasagne2
"You like eating at an ethnic restaurant? Heh you must want unlimited immigration." <-- see? Two can play that game.
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@JUNlPER
@allahliker
Alex Jones doesn't even read the articles he quotes any more. Sometimes he tries on air, and you can see him pause as he realizes the article isn't saying what he wants it to say. He gets paid millions.
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@EnbiRyan
@barrybingbongss
This guy loves portraying fetuses as toddlers and not showing the mother’s face so she’s basically an incubator.
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@youinthebushes
@kenklippenstein
Hahaha, that would be silly. Wait, what's this post I found? Oh, no...
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@SmoothDunk
Jimmy Carr can be funny on panel format shows where he has to think of gags instead of just calling everyone a c***, but his stand-up is simply garbage.
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@NblookM
@BabyBoomerCore
"Hi, mind standing still for a sec while I read all this shit on your hat? Hang on, I need my glasses. Nuts, these are my see-ers, I need my readers. One minute..."
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@insertlamejoke
@GFRobot
That's it for you, Robot. Just lie on the mat and let the ref count you out.
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@JordanUhl
Please put a trigger warning on that, my brother was beaten to death with a bike helmet over the course of six weeks while all I could do is stand by and yell NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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@RightWingCope
We've been at this since Plato. This engraving is relatively new having been done in 1627.
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@hellworldincorp
@BudrykZack
@jaredlholt
No-one's buying their economic ideas like trickle-down, so unfortunately their only resort is culture war shit.
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@KatyMontgomerie
That ark is reinforced with steel, btw. A material famously available during the Bronze Age.
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@kingceleryman
@steinkobbe
It's just called a children's book because it uses simple sentences and is heavily illustrated. But it's intended demographic are people who buy blue ticks on Twitter.
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@PTSDoneWithMen
@lachancenaomi27
She also has unearned self confidence that sets my hairs on end.
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@LizardRumsfeld
When someone is throwing their hair around, you definitely want to go for a medium long shot, to show that the moment isn't that intimate.
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@T0Paine
"Latest fad" hits particularly hard here, in light of Hasbara tactics insisting that protestors don't really care otherwise they'd be protesting US support for... erm... Sudanese genocide.
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@IwriteOK
Uh, Robert, I think you'll find it was ILLEGAL for slaves to break free of their masters' whips. What Brown should have done was petition the court or maybe vote Dem.
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@SoyMethDad
@CannyExecutive
@fauxblerone
No it is not. I'm a history major in Australia. Go bluff someone else.
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@nathano235
@foundaguykazama
Well I like his spirit. Specifically when he says he’ll light up any muthafucka pig who shows up to his door.
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@thomas_violence
"You're right, joining a union IS a dumb idea! We're all family! I'm going to work forty extra hours off the clock this week! It's for my family (Pepsico megacorp $24B revenue)!"
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@nomstrositi
I reckon this guy scabbing would be really helpful for the strikers. Can’t explain why. Just a hunch.
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@ZuzuQueenOfMars
@DeaconBlues0
What if you’re in the town square and there’s a bomb set to go off at 1110 and your phone’s dead and no one’s around because they evacuated because of the bomb and… wait, this isn’t working. What if an angry god sends you to the 16th century and
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@junglejuddy
@LozzaFox
The sentence was a little too complicated for you, I take it. Hey, I've taught kids how to read - let me know if you want me to diagram it for you!
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@TankieSanders
@Bowsnonk
Film students get taught Eisenstein’s montage theory. They also get taught a little someone called Tarkovsky.
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@mrgracemugabe
If you successfully take a cop’s gun, they legally have to let you keep it. Found out about it when I did a sixer at Long Bay.
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@MPVC42
@theserfstv
Can you point to Raichik speaking out against this practice? I admit I haven't read all of her posts, so I could've missed it.
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@1878DLJL
@miniondeathcult
That’s not true, when I went to school… wait… my God, how did I get so old?!??
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@skyyharrington
@TheKennyDevine
I'm lying under a pile of rubble of a building that was struck by smerch rockets, and it occurs to me: This is just as bad as the time I had to wear a mask at Bunnings.
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@07aerograd
@cs1891
@benphillips76
"Their pushing millions into death camps. Thousands have been killed already."
"*They're"
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@merin_jay
@christweetsllc
Yes it is you damn… :reads bio: Oh. Okay I see what you’re saying now. Yeah, I can get behind that.
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@murderxbryan
@catturd2
They're all right, but there's better ways to heat your home. Like all these Trump ballots I stole from Maricopa in 2020.
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@allahliker
It's been going for so long that hot chicks have had time to develop the gene where they automatically clam up when a dishevelled stinking nerd approaches them with a lavalier mic.
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@CSMFHT
They would've had gold and silver then, too. The metals are just as easy to smel- hang on, there's someone at my door. You're who? The killjoy-eating monster? What the hell is- AAAAHHHHHHHHH!
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Before anyone starts with their community notes bullshit, I performed the autopsy on this man. It is something I will never forget. The rictus on his face. Pain from dying due to massive nutsack trauma.
Been 3 years since God called Paw Paw home by tasing his balls at the peaceful Capitol rally. We miss him every day 😢 💔
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@DGarrettR
@rhinosoros
The beauty of this strategy is you end up paying more for having a tooth fixed. Alpha grindset.
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@DomaiForeman
I didn't know they had kosher restaurants in Israel. She must really know the place intimately.
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@KDuffChicago
@IwriteOK
@BillFOXLA
This is NOT funny. My dad died eating bird seed in the middle of a bullseye. If only he’d seen the anvil suspended overhead. His body was squashed like an accordion… 😭
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@Mosghos
@midnucas
@sali_thekatsays
@willmenaker
I think I found my phd topic: cross-cultural comparisons and normative norms of dick graffiti
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@ByYourLogic
@MandelaFace
Like the goon with a hundred petrabytes of porn who wanted a script to randomly delete them over time because he couldn’t bear doing it himself. Or just formatting his drives.
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@JoshDenny
I've just received word that Gavin will be released IF he can name TWENTY brands of cereal while prison guards beat him with truncheons. Please send your thoughts, prayers, and - most importantly - some names of cereal brands. It is a matter of urgency.
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@NoelFritsch
@theimperialfist
Part of reading is inferring meaning from context clues. You left a few with that OP, buddy.
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@enarcheepoiesen
@Potatopolitics
Love it when people who have no clue how research works weigh in with n the problematics of someone’s research. Always the best.
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@SmokingJesus1
@ethanjsacks
@TheBabylonBee
One joke. You should apply to work at the Babylon Bee, if you don't already.
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@TristaCrass
@TomaNistor
@timheidecker
Big miracles, the best miracles, folks. We love them, don't we? Just watch my tomb, you're going to be amaaaaaazed.
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@thomas_violence
"Has anyone noticed these guns we keep stockpiling can be kinda dangerous?"
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@GeorgeTakei
He hasn't seen it. His wife left the remote on the top shelf again before going out shopping.
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@PoliticalPunct1
@KnowNothingTV
It sounds far-fetched, but why would you write that down if there wasn't something to it? No smoke without fire imo.
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@hindmost_
@BadMedicalTakes
"I'm a fourth-year medical student, and I've never heard of this 'vagina', let me check my dictionaries..."
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@SmoothDunk
I think if nothing else Chernobyl taught us we're no good at managing this planet. Hopefully the wolves evolve a few other talents and they can have a turn.
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@kindred99961007
@MarshallJulius
I had this, but I opened the packet so it isn’t worth as much now.
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@ArturoProg5
@willsommer
They're in Chapter 11 bankruptcy, which I believe means you're allowed to operate while they figure out where all the money is and how you're going to pay off your creditors. Disclaimer: I am a dumbass, that's just my understanding of it.
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@Addison_Peacock
@Decervelage
I feel like sabertooths have been extinct for a while now. At least since last year.
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@ShireenQudosi
@LozzaFox
Is this seriously the first time you've seen one of these. Be honest now - do you expect anyone to believe you haven't seen this until now?
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@HeyImPostinHere
@SixDaysGame
Was it Fallujah where the asshole mercs were hanged on a bridge, or am I thinking of Tikrit? Ah, tempus fugit!
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@JankyMcstevens
@kthorjensen
Do you think Boolean searches are hard? I guess you do, you bought a bluecheck.
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@HenryKrinkIe
Camera pans... and it's GEORGE Clinton!
Although I don't know what I'm going for here. I've confused myself now.
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@JMWhit6
@_celia_bedelia_
They probably saw one of those Christian anti-abortion films where the fetus grabs the doctor's chainsaw-wielding hand and screams NOOOOOOOO!!! They think, 'wow, didn't know that about fetuses.'
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@RockNRollVA
@davenewworld_2
@jackiread
Multiple juries said Philly fucked up. Had to pay out over 14 mil to victims. Philly gave a formal apology. Sounds like they get that what they did was brutal and stupid, maybe you should catch up.
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@theserfstv
Have I gone colourblind or are they using two fucking green lines in that graph. Jesus Christ.
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@badpersonclub
@steinkobbe
It’d he funny if he got perma’d and we see him and Loomer handcuffed to a lamppost outside Twitter HQ asking employees on their lunch break if they could fetch the key they threw away.
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@CJTheran
@aaronsibarium
Even if we grant him that they couldn't have shot him until he started firing on kids - completely nuts, but let's go with this for a sec - what about standing around for over an hour when he was shooting up kids? Did we reach the probably cause threshold at this point? Hmm?
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@HombreDeFiesta
@MattBinder
As if he got owned by/on Dr Phil. He handled himself with complete dignity.
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@KeljarMoatis
@eethwin_
@KatyMontgomerie
Stop hitting yourself in the head with a 9 lb hammer and I can explain.
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@BettyBowers
Remember, Marj, Jesus doesn't say anything about homosexuality. But he says a lot about adultery.
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@maleficaria
@ax_angelo
Not true, women are nice to me all the time. I’m ugly as sin, clearly not gay, and don’t have two turds to rub together. So that fucks that theory.
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@HanDirk
@MisterABK
It's like those Icelandic crime dramas where the body count is up there with a minor war. Meanwhile, the murder rate in Iceland is, like, 2 a year. And that was people fighting over brennivin, so there's no mystery to solve.
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@SilvermanJacob
Someone called her on this and she said, "Oh I totally do more work, but it's confidential so I can't tell you." I bet.
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@Arcanineties
@Biophany
Yes, that was definitely the objection the nutters had with Gates. Deeply concerned about patents and supply.
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@TheofficialGen5
@theserfstv
That’s all you, buddy! Turns out perception is subjective, who knew (besides everyone except you)?
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@MattBinder
It's amazing how easily this guy falls into traps. If he was a roadrunner, the coyote would have caught him in the first cartoon. In the first 30 seconds.
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@MattBinder
@molly0xFFF
He didn't say he doesn't hold crypto, he just says he has $0 in crypto.
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@jabso
@thomas_violence
I'm not sure what's funnier: this joke, or the fact people think you're serious even though the opening line of R&J is right here on the internets, ready to check.
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@thefinchster22
@ByYourLogic
"Let's say, hypothetically, I hold the football, then just before you kick it, I take... You know, I take it away. That's social... That's socialism."
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