Robert Evans (The Only Robert Evans)
@IwriteOK
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I make many, many podcasts for Cool Zone Media. You can find things I've written at Bellingcat, New Lines Magazine, Rolling Stone, Business Insider, and more.
Joined April 2010
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Pinned Tweet
this is probably worth keeping in mind as the election year ramps up
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it cost some hero $8 to evaporate billions in Eli Lilly stock value. Elon accidentally created one of the most cost effective anti capitalist tools in history.
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he's just an little man tho, a tiny guy
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Everybody made fun of the Logitech Xbox controller but we are going to find out that was the most functional part of the whole sub
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why yes i would like to adopt a tiny, semi-feral animal with a lifespan just a fraction of my own and then make it's continued survival the lynchpin of my mental health
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baffled anyone thinks firefighters are in the wrong here. don't park in front of hydrants. this is basic decency.
Manhattan this evening. You gotta do what you gotta do to get water.
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this says so much about the generations that raised the boomers. climate change denial makes a lot of sense now.
Hotels used to have slots in the wall for disposing of razor blades and people were like “where do they go??” and the answer was “in the wall”
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I am here outside the Federal Courthouse in Downtown Portland, where a crowd of mothers have gathered again after being tear gassed last night by feds.
This is one of the largest Portland crowds we have seen this month.
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pull all the scientists off that semiconductor bullshit, we have to figure out how that cop flew out of that slide so fast
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George Lucas stumbled into one of the greatest fortunes in human history and regularly eats alone at the mall food court. I think that's beautiful.
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there is something unsettling going on with the Depp / Heard trial that has not been fully sussed out. I have never in my life online been so relentlessly pushed to watch videos on a subject, despite never having clicked on a single one.
Truly what is this trial doing to people's brains
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Federal agents pepper sprayed medical supplies in Portland tonight.
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I'm sorry but how fucking fast should the U.S. be expected to move when a rich people in a suicide can go missing because a company deliberately ignored all best practices and safety regs
Diver who backed out of Titanic sub expedition joins search, calls out US officials for not moving fast enough
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the ancient Romans literally fucked a natural contraceptive plant into extinction
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Every single American now knows that Police stations can be taken, captured, and burned.
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people who want to rob others of their rights should never know a moment's peace
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it used to be only nation-states could cause accidental explosions like this. god bless this country for giving every family an unsecured explosive stockpile
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the harder and more brittle a car is the safer you are inside it, that's just basic engineering
Laughing at the Cybertruck interior having apparently no real airbags and apparently being composed of a solid block of marble.
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lmao Eli Lilly absolutely threatened to sue the shit out of Elon and he panic-simped for their insulin price gouging. Then his own site betrayed him.
feature's absolutely getting nuked by monday
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we all know coke is bad of course, but say you're twenty-two someone you have a crush on invites you to a party and asks you to do coke off their naked body. how much self control can we as a society reasonably expect from me, I mean someone, in that situation
it’s kinda insane how many people do or have done coke?????? like am i oblivious because wtf are y’all thinking ???????
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do not fuck with sound guys, if they can hoist a boom mic in the field for hours they can wreck your day
Looks like Oren Levy (grey) tried some shit with the sound guy for a major news outlet, and was moved away.
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god France is just consistently the best at protesting
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folks complaining that the government or whoever isn't doing enough to rescue the deathsub may not realize that rescuing human beings submerged anywhere near the depth this thing was supposed to be at would be harder than putting a man on the moon
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It really sucks that the stuff Biden is awful on makes it hard to appreciate the key way in which he is our best president: having an uncontrolled dog that repeatedly assaults federal agents
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this person is less prepared for modern warfare than any teenager with a drone
While our military sits in diversity training classes, other countries prepare their soldiers for combat.
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this is like trying to fight Popeye with a spinach cannon
In an attempt to get Americans to see why Japan finds Barbenheimer offensive, Japanese twitter has taken to making 9/11 jokes - completely misunderstanding that Americans love 9/11 jokes.
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what kind of deranged sociopath would want to hang out naked with naked women
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y'know i ain't seen anyone talking about those stupid monkey drawings for months. seems like we won.
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a protester in the Capitol with what appears to be a handgun on his hip and zipties, to take congressional hostages. hundreds of people were talking about doing this openly, online in places like
They were also talking about executing elected Democrats
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i know folks are laughing, but this is not funny- it's a human rights issue. no executioner should be forced to get that close to Ian Miles Cheong.
IAN MILES CHEONG IS GETTING THE ELECTRIC CHAIR SOON???
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it's not that Mark is acting more "normal" now, it's that he is the first person with equivalent media focus and fame to treat Elon the way he clearly deserves to be treated: as an absolute charlatan.
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oh wow wild almost like those were dozens of illegal arrests
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the world is full of horrors but we also got the Dutch language, which is an unending font of comedy
Henry Kissinger, Amerikaans diplomaat en staatsman, is dood. Als ROOD vieren wij deze dag. Kissinger was één van de grootste oorlogscriminelen van de 20ste eeuw. Socialisten kunnen niet onverschillig staan tegenover de misdaden van deze massamoordenaar. (1/12)
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"traits of an armed person"
NEW: Baltimore Police say the person shot was 17 years old, saying he was displaying traits of an armed person before he took off running. Officers rendered aid and the 17 year old is in critical condition.
@wjz
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honestly Elon big ups on the recent changes. I know I have a problem and the only thing stronger than my addictive personality is my desire to not pay you $8
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we should see pictures of the Colorado Springs shooter as he was taken to the hospital. we should see him badly injured and plugged into equipment.
Doing so will help scare other shooters out of action.
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still awed by the video. it's like watching Gandalf return in Two Towers
Thought he had an easy target. Didn’t realize dude rockin the sandals/jeans/ponytail/solo Bluetooth was born into the shitty internet debate. Molded by it. When Mr TikTok was out partying he was studying Usenet archives and paying for Something Awful…
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all of these look like shit but this one really really looks like shit
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Conservatives: "at-will employment should be the law of the land"
Conservatives after someone gets fired for being a bigot: "no not like that"
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It says a lot about this nation that easily half of the reason people love Bernie Sanders is that he lives a recognizable human life
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the 50 cal he is holding has no sights. Not even iron sights. This means it cannot be aimed with any precision. It is effectively useless beyond point blank range. He owns this just to hear the bang.
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finally doing an episode on the potato famine and, boy howdy, i feel like we don't give the British Empire near enough shit
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easiest 150k i ever earned
You're offered $50,000 but if you accept it, the person you hate most in the entire world gets $100,000. Are you taking it?
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scary to think that each of us is just one blatant, filmed murder of an unarmed man in broad daylight away from prison
Derek Chauvin is serving 21 years in prison for a crime he didn't commit. Someone just tried to murder him. If they'd do this to him, they'd do it to you.
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i'm really starting to think we might get aliens this year
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protesting outside the homes of people trying to hurt us is the POLITE and civil option
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we need more Democrats who govern by clever ruse
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The Portland mass shooter has finally been charged with murder.
The protester who returned fire and saved god knows how many lives has had all charges against him dropped. Prosecutors say they reviewed the video. This was justified self defense and he carried his weapon legally.
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the funniest thing ever might happen soon
Trump is not evacuating and will stay at Mar-a-Lago through storm although the club has closed, per
@jdawsey1
.
Read more:
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insane that Watterson never really read or watched Noir, just sorta wrote what he guessed was a good parody and wound up writing some of the best lines in the history of the genre
these are some of the coolest lines ever written and they’re for a newspaper comic parody
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honestly it took longer for the MAGA movement to have it's first beheading than i would've guessed
BREAKING: Pennsylvania man beheaded his father, a federal employee, and called for "revolution" against "Biden regime" and "army of illegal immigrants" in online video
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looking at the people who disagree with this and a lot are folks saying "I responded badly to realizing my parents fuck so yes this is traumatic and abusive" and I hate to tell you kids, but part of being a human is encountering normal shit that impacts you forever in weird ways
i am taking away the word "trauma" until people learn how to use it responsibly
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Be the butterfly sanctuary director chasing away cops you want to see in the world
Today, our executive director confronted & removed 2
@TexasDPS1
Troopers who entered our property unlawfully. They are told that as long as they are "assisting Border Patrol" the 4th Amendment doesn't apply. This is false.
#Texas
#TXLEGE
#MaskedMan
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no one got injured in this so i feel comfortable laughing at it. absolutely unbelievable slapstick. the sound of this goober screaming that he's been shot (he was not) is just perfect comedy
The deputy misinterpreted the sound of an acorn striking the patrol vehicle as a gunshot.
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i feel like people shouldn't be allowed to use their children as recreational blood boys
Bryan Johnson 45-year-old founder of Braintree Payment Solutions which also owned Venmo sold his companies to PayPal in 2013 for $800 Million. Johnson just revealed that he spends $2 million per year to retain youth and he uses his teenage son as what he calls his ‘blood boy.’
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my expert advice for Putin as a longtime 4X player is to reload from the last autosave and hope you generate a different random event
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it's funny to imagine the violence with which Steve Jobs would have responded to this product. engineers would have been flogged, their weeping wounds salted. the design team would have been walled up in a Cupertino basement.
Apple's new Vision Pro will deliver new immersive experiences to users
for example, in the photos below, these two women are experiencing for the very first time what its like to be a huge ass loser
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babe do you wanna eat fries right under where Mussolini's corpse pissed itself
This is where Mussolini was hanged upside down in 1945, it is now a McDonald’s, total American cultural victory
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hey everybody, just your nightly reminder that we as a society are deciding right now if we're all gonna live out our days as free people or die in a police state
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It is beginning to look like repeatedly tear gassing a crowd of moms may have been a tactical error.
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the worst thing about tech bros is their belief that human creativity is wasted if not monetized
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there really aren't many people with weirder life archs than Arnold. trying to explain his existence in like, 150 years is going to be almost impossible
Arnold Schwarzenegger to antisemites and other hate groups: "There has never been a successful movement based on hate. Nazis? Losers. The Confederacy? Losers. The Apartheid movement? Losers. I don’t want you to be a loser. I don’t want you to be weak."
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stay the fuck out of silos people.
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we lit the library of Alexandria on fire so four guys could make money
a new, year-long study found Google Search really has gotten worse, and top-ranking sites are "on average more optimized, more monetized with affiliate marketing, and they show signs of lower text quality" Also evidence of AI-generated top-ranking results
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A literal tear gas tornado in downtown Portland.
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the police responded with unhinged violence because they felt disrespected.
this is what happens when you give a group of people the unchallenged right to do violence and pay them mid six figure salaries for doing so.
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this is healthy masculinity right here
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this owns, the Russian rep sneaks up like a stupid asshole and then gets the shit smacked out of him. all international conflicts should be handled like this instead of the way with all the bombs and dead people
Russian and Ukrainian representatives broke out into physical fights while attending a conference in Turkey
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So my beloved cat / stupid asshole Saddam Hussein had to be rushed to the hospital Monday. His bladder was swollen and he was having trouble peeing.
Urinary issues are very serious in male cats. A delay of a few hours can be the difference between life and death. So off I went.
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honestly the guy is being as Christlike as he can be, right down to getting arrested by the state. good for him.
Chris Avell, the pastor of Dad's Place in Bryan, Ohio, was arraigned in court on January 11 for charges related to building code violations after he kept his church open to provide warmth and shelter for unhoused individuals. He pleaded not guilty to the alleged violations.…
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he shot and killed himself in the line of duty after faking a disorderly person call
We extend our thoughts & prayers to the family & friends of Police Officer Thomas Bomba of the Montgomery County Police Department in Maryland. Thomas made the ultimate sacrifice today when he was shot & killed in the line of duty confronting a disorderly person.
#FidelisAdMortem
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i have known a handful of truly dangerous people in my life and none of them had to work to convince me they were dangerous
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Ignore any claims made about identity by a mass shooter's lawyers trying to mitigate hate crime charges.
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put this man in a car with a cigarette lighter and he'll be dead inside an hour
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Alan's body language here is a perfect example of the "cargo cult of masculinity". He is large, bearded, wearing armor and a gun and a knife. He believes those things confer authority and power to him.
When I ignored his commands, he had no idea what to do.
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Santa finally put one right between Kissinger's eyes. Merry Christmas everyone.
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uh hey guys, fellas, one note on the plane...
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The man who stopped the Colorado Springs mass shooting was tackled and arrested by the cops.
This was their only intervention in the massacre.
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So OceanGate's lawyer was just blaming the U.S. government for delaying the "rescue" to try and deflect blame for the fact that their death sub killed three billionaires a teenager and their founder.
According to this, they heard an explosion or implosion noise when they lost contact with the Titan. So, they pretty much knew what happened days ago.
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i had never heard of this person until a few days ago but apparently she was one of the biggest performers of a generation. feels like somebody slipped into the timestream and stuck her in. truly disorienting. i am now a boomer.
I don't have skin in this game but like. Why did y'all find this funny? Was she like a clown or something? There is nothing appealing about this face she's making or the voice she did. Were y'all okay?
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if you can't have basic empathy for tornado victims, regardless of who their governor is, you will not be helpful in any of the things we need to do to pull out of civilizational tailspin
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this is from an interview with an anonymous Apple Executive commenting on the strike and, like
these people are the human equivalent of ticks. living off the lifeblood of creatures they harm and poison by the act of feeding.
Apple Exec: we can’t let u.s. writers win because that sets the bar for writers in other territories
Me: oh bitch you just gave me motivation to keep this shit up for as long as it takes
#WGAStrong
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this guy writes for The Bear, the breakout show of the year, and he can't afford rent in Los Angeles
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the Lewiston mass shooter was obsessed with conspiracy theories about trans mass shooters, he fantasized about running down protesters with his car, and seems to have been a COVID truther too.
Also a big fan of Elon Musk, Tucker Carlson, Jordan Peterson etc
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the cool thing about our society is a thousand doctors can study for decades but one pop singer has just as much influence if she decides her cousin's swollen balls were caused by by vaccine
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