K. Thor Jensen 🐀🐀
@kthorjensen
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Following
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The Only Real Dad On Twitter™ Also a dingus, a dummy, a mess of a man.
Friday Harbor
Joined March 2009
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Pinned Tweet
if you like my tweets I have over 100 deranged T-shirts you can buy. if you don't like my tweets the shirts are still there.
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WH sources indicate the President has diarrhea in the helicopter
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All right, let’s do this. Police are America’s largest organized criminal enterprise megathread.
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there's an AI meme generator now and it's everything you could have wanted.
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in case you missed it the ceo of tumblr wrote the funniest tweet of all time and then immediately deleted it
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However, going through a car wash will void the warranty
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If they build the wall I will drill a hole in it and fuck it
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bing ai will not generate "white slime" but will generate "translucent beige slime"
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Kanye West is actually the perfect spokesperson for modern conservatism because he has no cogent political philosophy beyond “I like being rich” and “nobody is allowed to be mean to me”
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this fucking rules. he’s a bug piloting a meat gundam and it rules.
He went into his pre-programmed, practiced-in-front-of-mirror pose for kid asking questions. And then he got stuck there.
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This is exactly what Elon, Chaya, Chris Rufo et al want, a populace composed of perpetually panicked morons ready to lose their shit over whatever they’re told to
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I saw this on the back of a car while I was driving and almost crashed into the fucking divider
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Lmao how had I not heard he got this incredibly cringe photo removed
Wore Marquis de Sade outfit for a party last night. Was v popular with women who'd read 50 Shades :)
http://t.co/Z6EvSZw6
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Newsweek just told me that, despite not writing about politics in any way shape or form for them I could no longer express political opinions on my social media or donate to any political candidate, so I no longer work for Newsweek.
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┳┻|
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┻┳| •.•) The NRA is a domestic
┳┻|⊂ﾉ terror organization
┻┳|
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the new Trump diehard theory is that Joe Biden was repelled from entering 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue by "the military" on inauguration day and has been living in an 80% replica scale model of the White House on Tyler Perry's Atlanta estate.
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If I were Ellen DeGeneres, I would simply not sit next to the war criminal at the football game. Instead, I would exit the location and purchase another ticket to the event, with my wealth. It is statistically unlikely they would seat me next to another war criminal.
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Lmao at Dinesh going to Costco and trying to fake a tabletop display by covering other books
This argument is more relevant than ever as the media left tries to use
#Charlottesville
to promote its Big Lies about fascism & Nazism
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(terrified scientist voice) they're learning
Boat falls onto highway in Florida, blocks traffic
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Elon Musk has replied to Ian Miles Cheong 82 times in the last 30 days. Imagine making that choice.
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Lmao a ton of Milo Yiannopoulos docs dropped as part of his Australian lawsuit and honey, this grift is on its last legs
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@jordanbpeterson
my guy you look like a child's skeleton covered in mayonnaise with dryer lint on the top. you're in no position to be assessing anybody's beauty you rickety junkie.
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Um Disney+ edited "Splash" to cover Daryl Hannah's bare butt with hair and they did a Great Job
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My wife just said “bukkake” in front of the kids, to my shock. She then admitted that she didn’t know what it meant and thought it meant like bullshit or something fake and she’d “said it in meetings.” I made her Google it and now she’s having a panic attack.
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Watch this be the thing that finally gets me suspended
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Twitter tell me stories about seeing bands before they were famous. I saw Modest Mouse open for Built to Spill in 1994 and they had an old guy standing behind the stacks playing all the hard guitar parts.
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do you remember the "reply 'burger' to get the burger recipe" guy. he sent me the burger recipe and uhhhhhhhhhh
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Oh you made banana muffins for the bake sale? That's cute, I guess. (opens baking dish to reveal
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Police have unlawfully seized over $35 billion in property, disproportionately from low-income people, without convicting or in some cases even accusing them of a crime.
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Ben Shapiro's ancestral homeland
U.S. Virgin Islands (🇻🇮)
+
Israel (🇮🇱)
=
U.S. Virgin Israel:
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My son's friend just referred to gay marriage as "gross" and Henry shut him the fuck down so hard, I'm a pretty proud dad right now.
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“They found dril’s LinkedIn” is a shorter sadder story than the baby shoes one.
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@punished_cait
“Once it’s done she’s just on her phone” is… transcendent. I can’t even imagine the self-confidence it would take to pull that move after you just got et out.
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@MarkFooterman
@GOPLeader
Sounds like he made some bad choices and, as the party of personal responsibility mandates, is doing the right thing by suffering for the rest of his life
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I'm sorry Mrs. Jackson / chemtrails are real / they're putting toxins way up in the sky / info wars dot com will tell you why
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40% of police officer families experience domestic violence, compared to 10% of the general population. Of officers convicted of domestic abuse, more than half kept their
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Police pulled Phil Parhamovitch over for a $25 ticket. They also took his entire life savings, over $91,000.
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@JasonSCampbell
Love that his solution to child hunger, like his solution to every other social problem, is “call the cops.”
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@jack
@MollyJongFast
@TwitterSupport
because you were so high on ayuahsca that you thought a divorced sociopath with attention issues could run this website
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We are bringung these out again. Remember what they took from you
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Yes Milo got banned "because he was conservative" and not "because he led nazi teens in calling a black woman an ape for eight hours"
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@SheriffClarke
You’re a pathetic unemployed weakling talking tough on social media because you don’t have a police force to back you up anymore you dipshit
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It seemed gauche to do any April Fool’s pranks but we didn’t want to let the family’s favorite holiday pass uncelebrated so Sara and I just spent an hour putting hundreds of googly eyes on stuff for the kids to find tomorrow.
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In the United States, police officers fatally shoot about three people per day on average, a number that’s close to the yearly totals for other wealthy nations.
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Incredible to log in to Twitter and be immediately told that I should follow a Neo-Nazi proponent of ethnic cleansing, very cool website good job Elon
@elonmusk
@mmfa
@ADL
@slpng_giants
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The increased spread of police militarization, where officers are equipped with armored vehicles and advanced weaponry, does not reduce violent crime or make officers safety. Instead, it siphons money from communities to arms manufacturers.
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things continue to go extremely well for Milo Yiannopoulos as he now has COVID dementia, for which he blames the vaccine he didn't get
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Hey
@NPR
putting Jason Kessler on the air as a “counterpoint” to Black Lives Matter is uniquely shitty. When one side of an argument is “stop killing us in the streets like animals,” you don’t need to have a guy on to say “well, you are animals.”
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yeah baby advertisers are flocking back to x dot com!!!!
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thinking about a “Santa Baby” response song from Santa’s perspective called “Listen Lady”
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