David Avallone
@DAvallone
Followers
11,324
Following
6,878
Media
5,288
Statuses
123,328
Freelancer. Writer TV/Comics/Stories. The Devil doesn't need Advocates right now: he’s hired a crisis pr firm. He/him. Also on BlueSky. See Linktree for more.
Hollywood
Joined January 2010
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
Ireland
• 365634 Tweets
#WeAreSeriesEP8
• 352151 Tweets
Norway
• 315117 Tweets
Spain
• 272714 Tweets
#MissUniversePhilippines2024
• 155834 Tweets
Apple Music
• 134961 Tweets
PondPhuwin WeAre EP8
• 130430 Tweets
Blonde
• 89099 Tweets
LOST TEASER
• 88714 Tweets
KATY PERRY
• 67086 Tweets
Irlanda
• 54961 Tweets
Noruega
• 49693 Tweets
PREPARE FOR MLMU
• 47265 Tweets
#RCBvsRR
• 45866 Tweets
Rishi Sunak
• 39710 Tweets
KING KONG MV TEASER
• 38163 Tweets
Thriller
• 37402 Tweets
Atalanta
• 36760 Tweets
Lauryn Hill
• 32936 Tweets
مورينهو
• 31154 Tweets
Maxwell
• 24297 Tweets
Frank Ocean
• 24034 Tweets
TPAB
• 15569 Tweets
ガッキー
• 14937 Tweets
$BULL
• 14525 Tweets
Sokak Köpekleri Toplatılsın
• 12115 Tweets
#GeneralElection
• 12051 Tweets
GKMC
• 11748 Tweets
Ashwin
• 10345 Tweets
Pinned Tweet
Hey, gang! If you missed Drawing Blood
#1
at your local comic store... the good news is... the second printing is under way!
The better news is you might be able to get it directly from me, depending on the old phrase "while supplies last..."
3
8
18
How to know you're talking to a Nazi:
You: I hate Nazis.
Them: Define "Nazi."
Hope this helps. Non-Nazis are never, ever concerned that your definition of Nazi might include them.
1K
29K
149K
Dear Journalists: it is legal to add seats to the Supreme Court. It's been done before. It will be done again.
Violating the Hatch Act is illegal. Suppressing the vote is illegal. Violating campaign finance laws: illegal.
"Both sides" is a morally bankrupt disease. Get cured.
8
10K
37K
My mother was big in the abortion rights movement. In the early 1960s, when abortion was still illegal, she had a miscarriage at around six months. So she's covered in blood, with a dead fetus between her legs, and the doctor told her she couldn't be cleaned up yet. GUESS WHY? 1/
There's a difference between "technically the law could be interpreted this way" and "its reasonable to interpret it this way" and "it's been interpreted this way in court." Please breathe a little
666
31
121
345
8K
17K
@AIsForOrg
P.S.: One more thing to make clear: my mother wasn't a big activist before her miscarriage. She was radicalized by the experience. She spent the rest of her life fighting to protect women from what she endured.
194
916
12K
@AIsForOrg
Epilogue: Frances Janet Weinstein Avallone. 1936 -- 2003. She ran the Right to Choose in NJ for about two decades. She was a goddamn hero.
68
707
11K
So, "please breathe a little,"
@ElyZeigle
? Shut your mouth, you arrogant little worthless fuckstain. Let the people who are in danger of being criminalized for medical emergencies, who are being treated like brood mares, fight this with every ounce of their strength.
34
832
11K
If I wrote a character like Tom Cotton, and named him "Tom Cotton," I would feel like a supremely lazy writer. He's a cartoon of a racist Arkansas Republican, with a cartoon name.
Rejected alternative names for Tom Cotton:
Billy-Bob Plantation
Jedidiah Klansman
Joe Slavery
19
1K
8K
A full examination had to be done, and presented to a POLICE OFFICER, to prove my mom hadn't committed Manslaughter. Imagine that. Worst moment of your life, in pain, covered in blood, dead fetus. PLEASE WAIT LIKE THAT WHILE WE TREAT YOU LIKE A CRIMINAL.
44
1K
7K
Want to be worth something? Be just as outraged, as scared, as motivated to FIGHT, as women are. If you're not, SIT THE FUCK DOWN & GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY.
While I've got your attention, empty your piggy bank and give the proceeds to
@AIsForOrg
. Thank you and good evening.
21
631
6K
Is today a good day to talk about how Michael Moore offered the crew of ROGER AND ME deferred pay, and then when he sold the movie to Warner Brothers for millions, he didn't pay them a dime?
Feel like it's always a good day to talk about that.
145
1K
5K
@nbeaudrot
I’m fifty five, from Jersey, and have said it my whole life. I think you’re stretching there, sport, and confusing a simple regionalism with something archaic.
You know what makes you sound a zillion years old? Assuming everything you’re unfamiliar with is bad and wrong.
83
111
5K
About the Death Penalty: I am against it in general, but sometimes I'm for it in the specific.
We should abolish it. It is immoral, it is not a deterrent, and it is unfairly applied.
BUT.
If we're going to have it... it was made for Dylann Roof.
Now: 4th Circuit upheld Dylann Roof's convictions + death sentence:
"No cold record or careful parsing of statutes and precedents can capture the full horror of what Roof did. His crimes qualify him for the harshest penalty that a just society can impose"
94
710
2K
10
800
4K
@kasie
Another media figure vomiting up GOP talking points even as the voters of CA prove them to be complete nonsense.
And you won’t learn a THING from this ratio, because “Dems in disarray” is a fucking ADDICTION with you people.
The GOP is a garbage fire. Report on that.
57
524
4K
@DgirlLb
Oh, little douchebagette. These days, no cashier touches your card. You stick it in a slot, slide it, or even just wave it over the reader.
And any cashier would remind you of that if you actually tried this shit.
Are you also secretly vaccinated and hoping no one finds out.
26
103
4K
@KatyjustCANnot
This radicalized my mother — in the best way — and she spent the rest of her life fighting for abortion rights. She ran the RIGHT TO CHOOSE in NJ for over two decades. 2/2
10
82
3K
8
211
3K
Here’s my favorite part.
McCarthy’s big crime according to Gaetz: passing a bill with Democratic votes.
Gaetz ouster of McCarthy: passed with 100% Democratic support.
I’m sorry but that is fucking funny.
40
507
3K
@KatyjustCANnot
My mother suffered a late miscarriage in the early sixties. She lay on a gurney, covered in blood from the waste down... with a cop standing guard over her treating her like a murder suspect until a doctor showed up and confirmed it wasn’t abortion. 1/2
8
124
3K
Of all the impressive things Nancy Pelosi has done in her life, turning Chuck Todd into a real boy today might be the most miraculous.
81
369
2K
Or -- stay with me for a minute -- a dead-hearted manipulative liar who served an authoritarian monster for years is taking advantage of your natural empathy and punking you, to rehab her public image.
And you're falling for it. Occam's Razor slices this deception to shreds.
NEW: We just took a brief break because the most composed woman in Trump’s orbit — Hope Hicks — broke down on the stand right as cross examination started. Why would Hicks burst into tears—and why is she struggling to keep it together now? 1/
933
2K
15K
101
449
3K
@judeinlondon2
@mistergeezy
I'm told this one got deleted, but it is, if anything, funnier...
4
201
2K
Trump is also stalling on providing DNA in an open rape case against him.
Report on that sometime. Try it. You'll feel better about yourself.
0
579
2K
@dinahaddie
Don’t worry. Every American has PTSD. That doesn’t magically go away tomorrow: all that happens tomorrow is daddy who’s been hitting us moves out.
23
72
2K
@THendersonPAC
@MCITLFrAphorism
It's a rapist's worldview, from an organization that has enthusiastically employed rapists and covered up their crimes for 2000 years.
22
112
2K
@megynkelly
You’re… celebrating? Dancing on the graves of the dead and insulting the people trying to save lives?
19
54
2K
@clay_mcch
Pay teachers more.
Fixed it for you.
Poor people aren’t the enemy. Skinflints undervaluing teachers are.
8
85
2K
@KateHarding
Sorry, Kate. Seemed like a good time and place to tell the story.
People forget. They feel safe. And worthless shits tell women to calm down, relax, it won't happen. Enraging.
20
83
2K
@DaveOrrick
“The current climate?” So in a time of threat to democracy, you SPECIFICALLY want people to know you’re a smug, worthless douchebag who can’t be bothered to take a stand against fascism.
Great flex.
7
89
2K
I've got a crazy idea for you, that happens to be true: the people who perform in porn are human beings, and if you treat them like trash because of how they earn a living, you're definitely not any kind of liberal.
Just in case you didn't know that.
57
312
2K
Of all the disgusting and intellectually dishonest stuff I've seen in my life, pretending to not understand why an African American in the present day would be related to slave-owners is the most nauseating.
Rape. The answer is rape, you fucking ghouls.
30
408
2K
When I was five, we had a housekeeper who came in once a week.
She asked to leave early one day. When my parents asked why, she said, "My husband is speaking at a Klan rally this evening."
They fired her. They explained why to me.
I was not too young to hear, or understand.
Listen, y’all are absolutely crazy if you think it’s okay to teach 6 year olds about racism and it’s concepts. I stand by that. A child’s (of all colors) innocence should be protected up until a certain age. 6 years old ain’t that age. Y’all can miss me with exposing kids to that
684
15
155
8
249
2K
P.S. I know he's donated money to charities. So has Cosby. So has Weinstein. A lot of douchebags who don't pay their bills make public displays of "good works".
Moore undermined Gore, he undermined Clinton. He's Mr. Both Parties Are The Same. Yet people still take him seriously.
11
170
2K
@kasie
GOP talking points with zero connection to reality.
Delete your account. Quit your job. Go on a quest for one of those mythical diners you media idiots are so in love with. The one filled with GOP talking points and no actual humans.
17
155
2K
@anamariecox
“What an upsetting experience! I will tell the story on twitter and be validated by my many friends and fans!”
One ratioing later... is self awareness an option?
4
43
2K
The problem isn’t Democratic messaging. The problem is the media has zero interest in covering their successes.
This has been a big week for the Biden Administration and Democrats in Congress. First, Congress is on track to pass a bipartisan bill that will lower the cost of everything from cars to consumer goods, and make us less dependent on foreign semiconductors.
2K
9K
53K
59
568
2K
A reminder: Michael Moore is an idiot and a grifter, who makes more money when we’re under GOP rule. He said Gore and Bush were the same in 2000. That was the time to stop listening to him forever.
65
333
1K
@nancycollins
I'm pretty sure " inhumane, cruel, ignorant, and an attack on all women" is the Tr*mp2020 campaign slogan.
5
134
1K
@QueenMab87
I feel like every time someone prefaces a statement like this with “I’m a liberal,” they are lying their ass off.
10
14
1K
@AndrewYang
Andrew Yang is a Republican.
I don’t know how much clearer he can make it for you.
88
147
1K
Without Twitter, I would have no idea that an incredibly decisive battle is being fought in Ukraine.
All the cable news channels are focused on Elizabeth 2, who is exactly as dead today as she was yesterday.
Hey,
@MSNBC
. How about some real news?
11
243
1K
I'm sorry your pet celebrity turned out to be a rapist, a rape apologist, a scab, a Union-buster, an abuser or simply a shitty human being.
It's possible to let the moment pass without defending them. No matter how much you liked their movie or tv show.
Try it!
8
216
1K
As a Jew with a "Catholic" last name, for my entire life people have comfortably and confidently expressed their antisemitism in front of me, secure in the fact that I was part of their club, on their side.
So I am not particularly surprised by all the mask-off stuff this week.
36
181
1K
@THendersonPAC
@MCITLFrAphorism
The misogyny and abdication of responsibility for sexual desire to women is baked into his belief system. cf. "Adam and Eve and the Apple."
13
50
1K
I'll go even further. None of this shit would be happening if Robert E. Lee had been hanged for treason. In 1865, we started teaching the worst people in America that they could get away with literally anything.
30
266
1K
Nancy Pelosi never brought a vote if she didn't know she could win.
Calling the vote and losing is actually proof you can't whip your caucus, and therefore you aren't qualified for the job.
21
277
1K
Never forget: on the eve of the election, Michael Moore wanted you to vote for Ralph Nader. I bet he's very concerned about the environment these days. And he thought Gore and Bush weren't much different.
12
139
1K
The Unbearable Whiteness of Sally and Bob.
You owe it to your friends — the ones Bob clearly believes are subhuman — to walk away from Bob and never look back.
11
121
1K
@Noahpinion
So you were always a sexist, and when you didn't feel centered, you got mad.
Way to tell on yourself, chief.
21
36
1K
@FiveThirtyEight
Support for abortion has been the majority opinion in this country since before you had a website, kids.
This is a garbage take. Betray women to "win" and you lose. Happy to join the ratio here.
6
75
1K
@EliseStefanik
Yesterday, no one outside of Upstate New York knew who you were.
Today, people all across the country are donating to
@TedraCobb
.
I used to live in Upstate New York. I'll be thrilled to see the end of your career next election.
23
104
1K
@_SalmanAnwar
Jazz, space travel, World Wars, not having royalty, beaches that aren't an uncomfortable pile of rocks.
Lots of stuff, really.
27
9
1K
If someone calls out "white people" or "men" or "white men" or "white women" for a thing... follow these simple steps.
1) Ask yourself, "am I doing that thing?"
2) If the answer is "no, I am not doing that thing"
3) GREAT NEWS! The tweet is not about you!
4) GET ON WITH YOUR LIFE
78
271
1K
Of all the weird-ass counter-intuitive takes... "I'm braver than you because I can't face the world without a loaded gun" is the strangest.
No, bro. Everyone who can go to Target on a Sat. without a light infantry combat weapon -- literally everyone -- is braver than you are.
11
277
1K
@peterbakernyt
@Davidlaz
Calling this a "secret" with a straight face, three decades after Iran-Contra brought it to light, is quite an indictment of the NYT.
17
71
1K
@DonaldCalloway
You're not a comedian or a psychologist, you're an all-around racist guy.
If you supported Trump and don't consider yourself a racist, that just makes you stupid as well.
8
44
928
For those who just discovered the abortion issue yesterday and believe a lot of lies: at no time have the Democrats EVER had 60 Senators willing to codify abortion rights into law.
It has NEVER been possible.
It's up to us to MAKE IT POSSIBLE with better Senators.
5
309
1K
Today, I once again heard that "blocking is cowardly."
Other "cowardly" things, apparently:
1) Walking away from a bore at a party
2) Hanging up on telemarketers
3) Refusing to take every flyer handed to you as you walk down the Vegas Strip
4) Changing the channel
68
146
1K
@repmorgan
"A" black friend.
She never liked you. She tolerated you. She's decided it's easier to tolerate you from a distance.
For SUPER obvious reasons.
2
32
1K
@JustinWStapley
There's a lot to enjoy today, but the whining of struggle beards who have begun to grasp their own irrelevance is near the top of the list.
27
50
1K
Sorry for losing my temper, kids. I will listen to people complain about Democratic messaging with a range of tolerance. But a fucking JOURNALIST?
If you're in the media, you don't get to complain about Dem messaging while burying it, and framing every victory as a defeat.
25
179
1K
@SteveKingIA
@KamalaHarris
The children of rapists are related to rapists, Steve. That's kinda how institutional rape as a tool of oppression works.
7
30
1K
While I’m complaining, here’s a simple rule.
Never ever do a SINGLE FUCKING THING ON STAGE during the In Memoriam segment. No floor show distracting from the dead, dipshits.
10
63
1K
@DaveOrrick
You just told every one of your friends who’s not a well-off white dude, “I don’t care about your safety, health, happiness or survival.”
9
38
1K
With everything going on today, LA's biggest Bernie fans are outside Vroman's bookstore, harassing people waiting to see HRC.
@SenSanders
your biggest fans, once again, are shameful. You lied to them about HRC for a year, and then couldn't take it back. This is YOUR failure.
57
349
951
A Russian spy, a real estate scammer and the President of the United States walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "Drinking alone, Mr. President?"
6
161
1K
"Never Trumpers" are Republicans. They were on board with racism, homophobia, overturning Roe, with tax breaks for billionaires, etc. They just don't like Trump's manners.
When they have advice for the Democrats the correct response is to LAUGH IN THEIR FUCKING FACES.
Thanks.
6
215
1K
@DavidCornDC
Not a one. We also love her and have great enthusiasm for her. Weirdly, reporters haven't been talking to us. Never did. All year.
27
119
935
@oneunderscore__
@cameron_kasky
It is, 100 fucking percent, “your bad.”
Harmfully bad, in the most typical “Black people are dead and I will do what white people always do” way.
“Economic anxiety!” he cried, watching the body swing from the tree limb.
2
77
992
You don't invite Jesus Christ to open your Women's Conference.
You invite Mary Magdalene.
If you don't understand that, I don't want to be the one to explain all the things you've managed to internalize.
Don't let the haters get you down. You could have announced Jesus Christ as a speaker and some folks would have found fault with that too!
315
432
1K
49
327
949
@JoseMolinaTV
@ChuckWendig
Republican "morality" is ENTIRELY triggered by things happening directly to them, or family members.
Show me a Republican who's not a homophobe, and I'll show you a man with an LGBTQ daughter.
9
56
954
I can think of a lot of people who owe Fani Willis an apology.
BREAKING: Kenneth Chesebro, who was the architect of the “fake electors” scheme, has just pled GUILTY to Fulton County, GA prosecutors & has reached a plea deal. Yesterday, it was Sidney Powell. This is huge. Another win for DA Fani Willis & more bad news for Donald Trump.
193
1K
7K
32
174
935
@yorkdukeyork
You're welcome. I think people have gotten complacent, and forgotten what it was like before Roe v. Wade.
19
65
877
@PinkRangerLB
I’m always a little surprised when I encounter people (not you) who don’t get DUNE is just SPACE LAWRENCE OF ARABIA.
The main difference is that when Lawrence realizes he’s betrayed the Arab Revolt… he just goes home. Paul doubles down and makes everything worse.
9
13
917
@oneunderscore__
I couldn't afford a root canal for a year.
I committed zero mass murders while being in endless agony, and living on Advil and Tylenol.
Your brain is broken. I'm ashamed that I was following you.
The people of Buffalo have something worse than a toothache. Go fuck yourself.
23
44
895
No one who failed to vote against Richard Nixon was "right about Vietnam."
"Right about Vietnam" has to include your responsibility as a citizen to vote for someone who will end the war. You didn't even bother to register to vote.
You didn't do "everything in your power."
I was right about Vietnam.
I was right about Iraq.
I will do everything in my power to prevent a war with Iran.
I apologize to no one.
5K
55K
238K
48
252
859
@peterbakernyt
@kaitlancollins
The only thing more embarrassing than media normalizing Trump is the wagon-circling you all do when the failures are pointed out to you.
17
123
851
@Scotterybarn
@susanlbridges
I used to be an electrician and I've done the clothespin (C47 to pros) trick.
And as an editor, I have received dumb "cut two frames off" notes, clicked ten buttons, shuttled back and forth, left the shot exactly the same and said, "How about now?"
Never once caught.
11
13
865
Don't let anyone play -- or write, or direct, or even draw -- Superman if they don't understand him as well as Christopher Reeve did.
Here’s a video of Christopher Reeve talking about Superman. Dean Cain is a joke.
443
6K
25K
28
216
825
Anyone who suggested Biden would replace Harris was relating their deepest misogynoir dreams, and not someone to take seriously.
If you thought for one second Joe Biden would drop Kamala Harris, you don’t understand the first thing about him, her, or the Democratic base.
9
179
840
@lacadri34
In the 1860s, white people ran face first into cannons because their rich overlords created an avowedly white supremacist government for them to die for.
I call it Confederate Soldier Syndrome, and it's about to kill a hundred thousand people in the South. 1864 all over again.
28
106
788
Anyone who says “THE DEMOCRATS CONTROL ALL THREE BRANCHES!!!” fails basic civics and third grade math.
A strong Democratic turnout, increasing margins in Senate and House, is our only protection against fascism. Right now. We can do it.
So stop suppressing the vote. Thanks.
8
250
810
@MarkRPellegrino
@ERnurse86
Since this tweet got ratioed to oblivion, I guess you got beat pretty bad at “ideas,” champ. Take the L.
You talk like every clown who has no skin in the game, and nothing to lose when fascists are in control.
3
13
772
No one is calling you a rapist, you over-sensitive whiny little punk. They're just asking you to shut up and listen.
#YesAllWomen
11
354
770
"Welfare queen": a term invented by Republican Ronald Reagan (more likely, his writers) to demonize urban African American welfare recipients.
Cenk is a Republican. He can't help talking & thinking like one. Empathy is a Democratic Party value, That includes Red State citizens.
If we had a Democrat with balls when we take over, they’d cut off funding to red states & make them beg for their handout. Almost all of them are welfare queens who live off the blue states. Republican run states are on average miserable failures who take more from federal govt.
9K
2K
8K
155
176
726
One of the best things about having even a rudimentary knowledge of history is you don't get caught pining for 1970s Belfast.
Or 1950s America, while we're at it.
Ahhh, to experience the calm, peaceful splendor of [checks notes] 1970's Belfast.
353
6K
45K
42
109
797
After getting ratioed to oblivion for 24 hours, Jane “people should answer questions!” Mayer locks down replies.
Without answering any of the thousands of valid questions posed to her.
So accountable. Much intellectual honesty.
Biden hasn't given a single in-depth interview in 3 1/2 years to the New York Times, Washington Post or Wall Street Journal. Trump's no better. This isn't normal.
2K
410
2K
34
138
795
@PARISDENNARD
@IvankaTrump
She ran for Congress, and won. That's the qualification.
Ivanka didn't run for office, wasn't confirmed by Congress, and like her father, has inherited wealth she didn't earn to protect her from ever needing a salary.
5
36
720
On Friday, mobs of people will trample each other looking for bargains. But people protesting for social justice are crazy, I guess.
23
908
749
@AsteadWesley
This was my reaction as well. "How did one of the world's most beautiful and charming women catch such attractive men?" is one weird-ass question to ask.
1
6
749
@bryarcrose
@simsimmaaz
You asked for ten songs.
You got ten songs.
Clearly you were trying to prove something and got completely humiliated by reality.
Take the L. It’s a big one and it’s all yours, kid.
1
22
762
The strangest thing about Biden's career/public perception of him, is that all attempts to mock him make him look 1,000% cooler.
Russians on telegram are trying to make POTUS look cool apparently. They’re posting these photos with the caption “Commander of Ukraine Offensive”
399
713
6K
9
160
757