follow @bencollins on bluesky
@oneunderscore__
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I'm not sure everyone is ready for how unbelievably stupid the next two years are going to be.
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I need an Onion Newspaper subscription so badly but I want it delivered by someone tossing it onto my front porch from the basket of their bicycle as they keep moving forward
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The plan was clean. The escape? Not so much. Midway City doesn’t play fair. Wishlist this 4-player coop heist FPS on Steam today.
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getting the onion newspaper is worth it alone for the ads
We Won't Allow Savings Like These To Last. Become an Onion Member at 25% off here: https://t.co/qVolEYuhyZ
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Get more news than your fragile mind can handle. Subscribe today at 25% off. https://t.co/qVolEYuhyZ
membership.theonion.com
Don’t just read the news. Feel it. Be among the first to feel the news.
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Forget everything you already know about America's most notorious dead person. Watch Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile at Thursday, Oct. 9 at 7 p.m. ET/6 p.m. CT. Only at The Onion on Youtube here: https://t.co/dzJgXDex47.
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Forget everything you already know about America's most notorious dead person. Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile is in select theaters October 2.
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Trump Spends Entire U.K. Trip Trying To Figure Out Where He Knows Prince Andrew From
theonion.com
LONDON—Claiming that he recognized the member of the royal family, but his memory was hazy, President Donald Trump has spent his entire trip to the U.K. trying to figure out where he knows Prince...
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Report: You To Be Fired For Reading This Headline About Charlie Kirk
theonion.com
NEW YORK—Insisting your fate was sealed the moment you clicked the link, a report released Tuesday found that you will be fired for reading this headline about Charlie Kirk. “Shortly after you...
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I talked this morning about Elon Musk, his Paul Pelosi conspiracy theory, and how you lose a democracy in the age of the internet.
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No fucking shit buddy.
i never took the dead internet theory that seriously but it seems like there are really a lot of LLM-run twitter accounts now
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NEAR 40% UP - HAS STIL ONVER 250% ROOM TO GO ! $NXXT $NVDA $TSLA $AMC $GME
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1 Onion Subscriber vs 20 Non-Subscribers, on our new series, Encircled. Subscribe at https://t.co/NUG3McxBUg today and receive a free tote bag.
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When new owners took the helm of the Onion last year, they tried to revive the satirical publication by rolling back the publication. Their bet on print is starting to pay off
wsj.com
Print editions appeal to nostalgic readers and stand out in a crowded digital-media landscape, making them an attractive strategic play.
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Conservative Man Proudly Frightened Of Everything
theonion.com
FLOWER MOUND, TX—Condemning the “woke left” for what he called the “modern evisceration of masculinity,” local conservative man Hank Daniels confirmed Monday that he was never going to stop being...
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This bar I was at had a physical copy of the Onion and LOOK WHAT I FOUND IN IT
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I brought my family to DC for the Cherry Blossom festival. The first thing I saw when I exited the L’Enfant Plaza Metro was a gang of youths driving ATVs down the street, one of whom was doing a wheelie So forgive me if I doubt that crime is down
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“It’s called the audience of one… 99% of lobbyists don’t really matter anymore. It’s the person who knows Trump.”—Noosphere’s @BrodyMullinsDC .
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