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Analytic Valley Girl Chris Profile
Analytic Valley Girl Chris

@ChrisExpTheNews

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3,165
Following
1,327
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4,089
Statuses
97,833

HS science teacher, Libertarian Party officer, former biomedical researcher. Too tired to blog much anymore. I strive to be an equal-opportunity bitch-moaner.

United States
Joined December 2015
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@ChrisExpTheNews
Analytic Valley Girl Chris
5 years
"No Exit", but I have my phone and just scroll through Twitter and Facebook for all eternity and ignore les Autres
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@ChrisExpTheNews
Analytic Valley Girl Chris
2 months
Kids are allowed being pissed that they go all the way through fucking college then send out literally hundreds of job applications that go fucking nowhere only to wind up with a job that they could have done at 15 and can't cover independent adult living expenses
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@ChrisExpTheNews
Analytic Valley Girl Chris
2 years
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1 month
I love you, 2011 Lenovo ThinkPad
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3 years
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@ChrisExpTheNews
Analytic Valley Girl Chris
2 years
Still fucks me up that Pakistan is an acronym
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1 year
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4 months
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
2 years
Punjab, Afghan, Kashmir. Pun off of the Iranian word pak, meaning pure. Apparently Muslim students at Cambridge in the 30s came up with it.
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@ChrisExpTheNews
Analytic Valley Girl Chris
2 months
The system is fucking stupid as hell and we're making it more stupid, not less. Kids might be annoying about it but you being a smug cunt about them whining still makes you a whiny bitch too.
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@ChrisExpTheNews
Analytic Valley Girl Chris
2 months
@Gumbo_hymns Doesn't seem reasonable to expect people to just know that without ever being instructed about that
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@ChrisExpTheNews
Analytic Valley Girl Chris
2 years
West Virginia has a higher gdp per capita than France
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@ChrisExpTheNews
Analytic Valley Girl Chris
6 months
Imagine just getting to hit your telos like this. Sublime.
@mutablejoe
mutable joe
6 months
imagining the pressure this dad was under and how he just casually nailed it
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@ChrisExpTheNews
Analytic Valley Girl Chris
2 months
This is genuinely a bigger flex than putting it in NYC/Chicago. The world needs to know that the states they can't find on a map can pull this shit too. ALL of America kicks ass and should be in constant competition to show off
@ChadGriffiths
Chad Griffiths
2 months
* checks calendar Nope, not April 1. The city with the highest skyscraper in the US will not be New York. Not Chicago. Not Los Angeles. Not Hosuton. This 1,907' tall skyscraper will be in Oklahoma City. Developer has secured $1.5B in financing and now hoping for a building
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
6 months
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@ChrisExpTheNews
Analytic Valley Girl Chris
11 months
Going through boxes of old school papers. Ca. 3rd grade.
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@ChrisExpTheNews
Analytic Valley Girl Chris
2 years
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@ChrisExpTheNews
Analytic Valley Girl Chris
11 months
It fucks up a lot of people, apparently
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what is y’all most liked tweet?
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
5 months
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@ChrisExpTheNews
Analytic Valley Girl Chris
1 year
This Y axis is incredible
@Noahpinion
Noah Smith 🐇🇺🇸🇺🇦
1 year
American teenagers were happiest in the mid-to-late 2000s.
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@ChrisExpTheNews
Analytic Valley Girl Chris
2 years
This is not a shitpost
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@ChrisExpTheNews
Analytic Valley Girl Chris
2 months
@Gumbo_hymns Why would people act with knowledge that comes from experience they don't have?
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@ChrisExpTheNews
Analytic Valley Girl Chris
2 years
Nobody will remember: - Your salary - Your fancy title - How ‘busy’ you were - Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion - C beams glittering in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate
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@ChrisExpTheNews
Analytic Valley Girl Chris
11 months
I miss you, John
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@PopBase
Pop Base
11 months
What is your favorite celebrity quote?
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@ChrisExpTheNews
Analytic Valley Girl Chris
4 years
ICE T is one of like 5 well-adjusted people on this site
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@ChrisExpTheNews
Analytic Valley Girl Chris
6 months
Dude expelling the worst behaved 20-30 kids would be an insane atmosphere change in a lot of schools.
@wil_da_beast630
Wilfred Reilly
6 months
@justksshit Sure, but that has nothing to do with genes or racism, and the expulsion rate is like 1/60. I...agree all schools should be able to have basic-ass baseline rules.
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1 year
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3 months
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@ChrisExpTheNews
Analytic Valley Girl Chris
6 months
Humanities majors be like "It's not our fault that our idea escaped the academy and was hijacked by morons and co-opted as a blunt political instrument!" Idk man, when general relativity escaped academia we got functional GPS.
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@ChrisExpTheNews
Analytic Valley Girl Chris
3 years
People > 2.5 sigmas to the right on math ability think we should make stats classes mandatory so everyone will understand things like normal distributions and selection bias and they say this without a hint of irony.
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@ChrisExpTheNews
Analytic Valley Girl Chris
2 years
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@DinaPomeranz
Dina D. Pomeranz 🟣
2 years
Why does the US have so much higher rates of unwanted pregnancies than other rich countries? E.g. 8 times higher teenage birth rate than Switzerland, more than double the rate of France. Lack of contraceptives? Sex ed? Open communication? Economic inequality? Other?
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@ChrisExpTheNews
Analytic Valley Girl Chris
4 months
@thechosenberg Oh you know Eric too? He's a cool guy
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
2 years
@GianmarcoSoresi But running does help a number of people with depression, and exercise is recommended by both therapists and medical professionals as a part of dealing with mental health issues like depression.
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
1 year
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@palinfoen
Palestine Info Center
1 year
Israel is not a country.
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
3 years
"Why do you want to work at our company?" Because you pay money and are near where I live, you fucking idiot. Holy shit how do you not grasp this?
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
8 months
I like how Vader has punctilious respect for titles and calls Han "Captain Solo". He's a drug smuggler in a "piece of junk" little ship with a single crewmember, but Vader's still like "hey decorum says he's a captain, you know, like we're not animals here" while he chokes a dude
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
10 months
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
1 year
Asking the school librarian to add this to the autism awareness book display
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@ChrisExpTheNews
Analytic Valley Girl Chris
2 years
@a_thing_to_do Uh, I don't. White goes first
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@ChrisExpTheNews
Analytic Valley Girl Chris
2 months
A fifth of all degrees are business degrees and about 3/4ths of students go to public schools. This isn't about scams. Kids are raised by their parents and the public education system that co-raises them from 5-18 that they should go to college. They're doing what they were told
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@ChrisExpTheNews
Analytic Valley Girl Chris
2 months
@addermonk So what, fuck teenagers for trusting their parents and the system that co-raised them from ages 5-18?
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@ChrisExpTheNews
Analytic Valley Girl Chris
4 years
I blew an 18 year old kid's mind when I showed him that you can do 3.5*6 without a calculator by doing 3*6+3*.5. He was one of my strong students. I like you guys, but you people have no fucking idea where the average person is at.
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
2 years
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3 years
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
2 months
@Tzaidecar How were they supposed to know that?
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@ChrisExpTheNews
Analytic Valley Girl Chris
8 months
So I looked it up, and there are only 8 living, unmarried women with a doctorate degree and a Nobel that I can determine. 5 are divorcees and one is a lesbian.
@1followernodad
Sophia Benoit
8 months
my favorite part of this is that the first woman didn’t even offer to be with him she just exists
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
1 year
Lol a man didn't write this
@Maladroithe
Maladroithe
1 year
I swear to god I will never marry a man
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
1 year
GOTCUM
@RedditCFB
RedditCFB
1 year
Here's your Playoff, gonna be a fun one! 🐶🌰🐸〽️
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5 months
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1 month
Incredible
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
1 year
Yeah man they did market research and found that 14 year olds would buy spy novels from the 50s if the punishers would neuter them to the exact sensibilities of Helen Lovejoy
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@devincf
devincf
1 year
If you think editing James Bond or Roald Dahl is about anything other than capitalism you're deluded. These companies looked at declining sales and did research and found younger audiences are turned off by certain things, so in order to sell more books they are making edits.
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@ChrisExpTheNews
Analytic Valley Girl Chris
2 months
@rhcm123 This is what American protestants actually believe
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
2 years
Frog enthusiasts explaining to me that there are more ways to evaluate a polity than by GDP, a thing that I apparently contradicted in invisible text
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
10 months
College is a multi trillion dollar subsidized work permit system. That's it's purpose. You can want it to be something else all you want, but that's what it is by mass. Weird you spent all that money on your thinking degree and never noticed it.
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
11 months
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
2 months
@ggm281 How were they supposed to know that's what they needed to do?
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
5 months
"Nobody wants to listen to you criticize this radar system we all agree is really important and we worked really hard on. Maybe if you decide to bring up some solutions instead of problems we'd hear you out. Ever think about that?"
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
6 months
Making my favorite French side dish
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
3 years
@jacobin Hey random question: where'd you guys get the name for your publication?
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
6 months
@thechosenberg The government gets mad if you do it any other time
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
3 years
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
2 years
lmao the fucking sous chef makes goddamn $15 an hour?! Is all fine dining a fucking pyramid scheme, or is it just New York? Jesus Christ the is actual entry level at McDonalds money.
@jeff82874662
pjeffa (🦧,🦧)
2 years
This is such an epic article holy shit
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@ChrisExpTheNews
Analytic Valley Girl Chris
3 years
China has had half as many astronauts as fucking Ohio
@CarlZha
Carl Zha
3 years
You’re looking at the future
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
2 months
@malsova1 Sure but they didn't make that choice in a vacuum.
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
14 days
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
2 years
To be clear, the local art for sale at the Tamarack Plaza in Beckley is more important to me than the whole collection of the Louvre.
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@ChrisExpTheNews
Analytic Valley Girl Chris
2 years
@cosine_distance @NoLongerBennett Poor bastards don't even have a statue this cool
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
3 years
"You're an idiot for thinking animal dewormer can treat coivd" is a midwit teleological take. Viagra treats jet lag in hamsters. Drugs are fucking weird. Fuck off.
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@ChrisExpTheNews
Analytic Valley Girl Chris
22 days
@SwannMarcus89 Dude come on you can't possibly believe that there's no catch with that.
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
10 months
Humanities people get whole ass masters degrees and yammer about how fucking insightful it makes you and can't fucking parse the insanely straightforward objection people have to shelling out $1500 a semester for something that blatantly doesn't help with their career goals
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
2 years
@outreach_io @fionafranfeld Seems like an overreaction indicative of a corporate culture that views employees as unnecessary and disposable
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
1 year
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
2 years
@The_Albatross Yeah man that's what everyone in fucking Frazier's Bottom needs is the feds to drop a couple billion dollars on a fucking high speed train through the goddamn mountains to get to the Beckley service center 8 minutes faster
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
2 years
Didn't read the Harvard cheating article going around, but I can tell you it's rampant in pre-college and the teachers who are smart enough to catch it get absolutely fucking zero support for trying to stop it. Parents fight you; admin passive aggressively tells you to look away
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
1 year
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2 years
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
5 months
*taps sign*
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@ItsDanSheehan
Dan Sheehan
5 months
No more "smart" appliances. If an object from my kitchen greets me I will hit it with a bat
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
11 months
I don't get why they don't just use a tank of nitrogen and a tight-fitting mask for the death penalty. Seems super straightforward
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
4 years
Imagine reading this in 1995
@SwiftOnSecurity
SwiftOnSecurity
4 years
I don't know who needs to hear this: Throw those three 300GB hard drives in your closet away. Even if they're 10K RPM. Shhh. It's time to let go.
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
2 months
@WykidJestr When have they been allowed to function as adults? They're in school from 5-22+ as the default
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
2 years
Literally over half of my AP chem class has never used a Bic lighter. One girl took a good five minutes of trying before she could get it to light. At least they're staying out of trouble after school?
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
8 months
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
4 months
Twitter, despite its flaws, continues to be an awesome concept
@SwannMarcus89
Swann Marcus
4 months
I think I might be having a stroke. This 65-year-old former economist at the federal reserve is tweeting Muppet gifs at me as a "rebuttal" to my arguments
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
10 months
If we still made kids do three years of Greek in high school, yeah, the top 5% would probably be able to knock this out
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
3 months
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
1 year
Fun fact: the colored seas are named for their positions on a compass, not the literal color. Red is south, black is north, white is east (cf the Turkish name for the Aegean), blue is east. Central Asian naming convention imported by the Persians when they took over the Near East
@PicturesFoIder
non aesthetic things
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
8 months
I forget which one of you made this
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
2 months
@PatWebber18 @CleverFool5 If I'm being casual about it, yeah, but it's obviously a more complicated process than colleges being snake oil salesman intentionally setting out to swindle people out of money. It's a ton of different vectors that push people in that direction
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
3 years
@obrienjohnjack Fraizer vs Fraiser. It's a movie-length episode of Fraiser where Brendan Fraser convinces Dr. Crane to fight Joe Fraizer for charity.
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
9 months
Universities should all be taxed to the fullest extent of their property valuations
@TheTennisLetter
The Tennis Letter
9 months
Fiona Crawley, a student at University of North Carolina, competed at the US Open & earned $81,000. She forfeited the money. If she had accepted it, she wouldn’t have been eligible for NCAA. “I’d never take the money & never risk my eligibility. But I worked my butt off this
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
24 days
Except Netflix isn't Doritos. They don't make money off of me watching more shit in one sitting, they make money off of annual subscriptions. Where's the test to show these correlate?
@keshavchan
keshav
25 days
the story of netflix's autoplay feature
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
3 months
The high school graduation rate at the end of WWII was about 25% of the population. The comparison point for what education outcomes used to look like is based on the fact that we were only measuring the top quartile of students a mere 2-3 generations ago
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
2 months
Charles fucking Darwin was his first cousin
@wanyeburkett
wanye
2 months
I was listening to some leftists talk about Francis Galton on a podcast and one of them said, "of course he thought genius was hereditary and ran in his family" to which the other excitedly responded, "Yes! They always think it runs in their family, right? You'll never hear
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
1 year
"We think depression is caused by an imbalance of serotonin" "Oh so you can test my serotonin levels and compare them to an average?" "No. Anyway here's some Wellbutrin. It's a dopamine and norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor."
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
9 days
I need you guys to understand that 99.998% of education spending is not going to optimizing helping extremely high agency nerds with their studying
@eigenrobot
eigenrobot
9 days
yeah this is nuts. jeez education employment bloodbath is the obvious next step if it could be deregulated but what else
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
8 months
I get that it was plot convenience, but in OG Star Wars, the stormtroopers would have zero reason to kill the Larses; they were their lead to get some robots they easily could have bought off them. Implies a missing scene where Owen is a sovereign citizen type who pulls a gun
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
3 years
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
19 days
Somewhere like a third of high schoolers won't be able to tell you the square root of 16.
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
4 years
Imagine having an autism awareness vehicle and it not being a train
@MiamiPD
Miami PD
4 years
It’s here!! Our Autism Awareness Vehicle will be patrolling the streets of Miami. If you see it say hi, take a picture, and tag us! 🚔👏🏻🙏🏼 #Autismawareness #mpd #community
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
1 year
The most sadistic Athenian couldn't possibly have dreamed up a worse punishment for Socrates
@LinusEkenstam
Linus ●ᴗ● Ekenstam
1 year
Is this the future of podcasts? AI conversations | Bill Gates x Socrates I think very realistic conversations like this will be bread and butter in any streaming app. Let’s take it one step further and imagine this but personalized towards you? 🤯 What do you think?
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Analytic Valley Girl Chris
2 months
@ouranometrian2 *middle school
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