Sophia Benoit
@1followernodad
Followers
122,171
Following
1,329
Media
7,044
Statuses
121,279
books: WELL, THIS IS EXHAUSTING & THE DA VINCI CODE | columns: @Bustle & @gqmagazine | words: @wsj , @guardian , @thecut | rooting for: Tyrese Maxey
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Joined February 2011
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Pinned Tweet
my boyfriend got the big Costco ham and it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to him
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when a job listing says the words "fast-paced environment" that means toxic
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my favorite part of this is that the first woman didn’t even offer to be with him she just exists
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my only critique of Barbie is that none of the Barbies scissored which is such a huge part of a Barbie’s life as to be unimaginable to miss in a film like this
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THIS WAS THE SAME YEAR
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Every “gifts for him” list was written by someone who last met a man in 2005 and even then it was a brief meeting.
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my grandma has issues remembering things so she’s supposed to write down notes so she remembers when her kids visit or if important things happen. My mom (Peggy) visited her and she wrote this note to remind herself
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I would pay $7000 to never see a movie again where a guy praises a woman for “actually ordering real food” on a date.
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Why does my bf want every movie we watch to be good??? Like give it a rest
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I did it!!! I went the entire presidency without being *sure* which is eric and which is donald jr
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Literally what do people think women in their 30s normally look like??
Did Anne Hathaway make a deal with the devil? She is literally aging backward. (📷: Getty Images)
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I love Italy I was buying shoes and the store owner wouldn’t let me buy a pair bc they were for “older women” and then he got out another box and told me I should get those & I thought he was upselling me but no, they were the same price, he just really cared that I looked hot.
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me doing my stupid little tasks as the world crumbles
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You literally don’t have to write an article when you do an evil thing.
My boyfriend's cancer battle was ruining my mental health so I left him - now I'm running a marathon in his honour
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Literally nothing on earth is better than repeatedly doing a bit your partner doesn’t like
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Movies That Wouldnt Have Happened if the Dude Had just Gone to Therapy
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"you have to fly to naples then take a train to sorrento then wait on a ferry" ...... what did you think was going to happen when you booked a plane ticket then a train ticket then a ferry ticket????????????
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I have never felt more internalized misogyny than when I just saw a video of a bald eagle mom and realized I never thought bald eagles could be girls.
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no one is talking about how 60 monkeys can now make hands free phone calls
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Omg I just found out that spinster used to be reserved for women 23-26 and that after you turned 26 if you were unmarried you became a.... THORNBACK. How fucking great is that name!?
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there's a first date between two hot people sitting next to me at this coffee shop and the guy just asked "wait what texture is she?" about the woman's cat alkfj;lksdj and the even funner part is she answered without missing a BEAT
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If your tweet is *really* good my boyfriend and I might repeat the punchline of it back and forth to each other for 3-5 years.
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Have they tried making movies good instead of expensive?
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the most impressive scene in any spy movie is in Casino Royale when james bond is in a hotel shower and knows immediately how to use it.
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winnie the pooh:
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No offense to the Von Trapps but if I go to a lavish party and seven kids just start singing about how they have to go to bed, I’m using that time to refill my drink.
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frankly I think it’s amazing to work for years, meet & marry Ryan Gosling and then fucking quit. I would do that too!
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so many people coming very late to the k*te m*ddleton situation. pull open your 17 reddit tabs, baby girl we've been here since jan 14.
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you can tell someone’s rich when they don’t use their dining table as a desk
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Shrek got a 10 minute standing ovation at Cannes just for a little bit of context.
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Yes life is hard now but in the early 2000s your coworkers could secretly nominate you for What Not to Wear.
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watched charlies angels (2000) last night and the thing they’re trying to stop from happening is ... our cellphones being able to track us wherever we are
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Nothing is worse than trying to gossip with a straight guy.
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you can tell she married a cop
Miranda Lambert stops show to call out two fans taking a selfie:
“These girls are worried about their selfie and not listening to the song, it’s pissing me off a little bit. Sorry, I don’t like it at all. We’re here to hear some country music tonight. I’m singing some country…
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i think i'm losing my mind. i think i'm having an aneurysm. i think i'm going to m8rder a person i don't know.
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What is your most depraved habit mine is having 100+ alarms on my phone—turned off—at various times throughout the day (rarely on the hour), and then I pick from that list of alarms which to set.
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Rich people fucking suck
Kanye says God rewarded him with $68 million tax refund for becoming born-again Christian:
#KanyeWest
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when a bird is fat ….. like a FAT round little guy…… oh god, I’m over the moon about that
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my sister has 2 cats. One is a totally healthy weight and one is this cat
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Charlie Brown is an adult now. Snoopy is merely a security question.
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I believe we can cyberbully more billionaires into giving away more money
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“Sure!”— me saying no to something I don’t want to do
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Perspective: Taxing U.S. billionaires more will just hurt the rest of us
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“Maybe he lived somehow.”— me when a character is very very obviously dead
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Is the NRA the new symbol of peace? Are dogs actually reptiles? Is the sun actually a bag of Doritos? Is shoes?
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Too much focus on favorite colors. I want to know peoples LEAST favorite color. The color they hate.
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What the fuck? What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck? What the absolute fuck?
BREAKING: SCOTUS will hear Johnson v Grants Pass, a case about if homeless people can be punished for using things like pillow and blankets when sleeping outside if there are no safe shelters.
This is the biggest SCOTUS case about homelessness in decades.
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Imagine the absolute fucking high of calling your gf “Tony Pizza” for so long and she hates it and she posts about it online and now every single person online thinks you’re the funniest person & is on your side
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Just found out my boyfriend doesn’t put his photos on the cloud and when he gets a new phone he loses all his old photos from the last phone because— and I quote— “why would I need to see an old picture?”
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best lyric of all time is when elton John was like “if I was a sculptor, but then again no” like pls I’m on the edge of my seat .. what were you going to do as a sculptor Elton!?!!!
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If your comedy is cruel, you are cruel. If your comedy is racist, you are racist. If your comedy is transphobic, you are transphobic.
You fucking wrote the jokes and said them out loud!!! It’s not like god dropped a notebook in your lap and you have to say these things or die.
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PLEASE call me a cunt any time I’m complicit in massive human rights violations
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Every once in a while as a little punishment I think of Ryan gosling saying that his real life relationship with Rachel McAdams was “a hell of a lot more romantic” than what was in the notebook
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Oh boy if only there were some connection between airbnbs and this problem hmmm better not investigate
Just arrived to San Francisco and walking through the Tenderloin to my AirBnB. This is one of the most depressing places I've seen. So many drugged out people standing up while fully bent over with their head to the ground, taking what appears to be fentanyl. Tents everywhere,…
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you're probably only seeing pictures of bombed Aleppo. remember to go back and read & learn about what was bombed, too. Make it real.
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you guys have one kid and millions of dollars i'm going to lose it
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I feel like it would be more normal for colleges to have nothing to do with arms manufacturers.
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personally , despite the Twitter rule I will say * **** ** ****.
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feel free to let the words "downsize to a $9.5 million home" radicalize you
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This is the absolute funniest quote a celebrity has said good for her!!
“I think everybody can agree I have the personality of a vegan.”
— Anne Hathaway to Vanity Fair
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Every couple months people come on here talking about how a woman’s last name is *actually* her dad’s and I feel a bubbling rage that a man’s last name is considered his if he’s given it at birth but a woman’s isn’t.
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fucjing hell, celebrities just go into all the creative spaces normal people have engineered (podcasting, livestreams, newsletters, onlyfans) and completely take over. It’s just rich people eating up the market.
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Reading interviews with people in East Palestine, Ohio where the train derailed is so heartbreaking and insane. People are like "all my pets died" but then they're being told to move back into their houses.
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You know who was SO WRONGED who we don’t talk about enough? Dr. Jocelyn Elders. She was the first black surgeon general of the United States and second woman and she was forced to resign because she said masturbation was “part of human sexuality, and perhaps should be taught.”
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in a v quiet cafe and someone brought in their baby who is ~6 mos old. He was in his little stroller totally chill until out of nowhere he just let out one extremely loud sustained SCREAM (not a cry) & then went right back to silence. everyone in the whole place is laughing.
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My dad came in town and called my pasta pot “inadequate” and then two days after he left this showed up in the mail
My dad and his life long best friend are in town to help me out and they’ve been here for less than an hour and they’ve already called my ladder weak, my flashlight bullshit, my windshield wipers annoying and my toolbox “questionable.”
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Agatha Christie is the best selling novelist of all time
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Ok so the $1,400 stimulus check isn’t coming let’s just start the process over — totally different thing!!!!— with $7,000 checks for March.
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A problem and the solution in one video
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the man in the background is me seeing this outfit, too
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@HRHCOLLECTION
Cool, this is the part where they show you a photo of what you’re looking to buy.
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YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!
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NYT connections is a couple weeks away from “words my ex bf mispronounced,” “the 43rd-46th words my daughter learned,” “characters in the novel I’m writing but haven’t finished,” & “words I’m thinking of instead of the word ‘dog’”
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Can’t believe we have one hand that just sucks. Embarrassing.
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They took that little Twitter competition very seriously
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If these Olivia Rodrigo songs came out when I was a teen I would have fucking exploded.
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When people talk about how we “don’t have a climate change policy” … oh babe yes we do. It’s you dying and billionaires in bunkers.
Mark Zuckerberg is reportedly building a massive $100 million compound in Hawaii with an underground bunker, escape hatch, and a “blast-resistant door.”
The 5,000-square-foot underground bunker will be self-sufficient with its own energy, food, and water supply,
@WIRED
reports.
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No no we’re warning YOU
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Finding out someone's go-to OTC painkiller is so insane. Like you're friends with someone for years and you find out they come from a Tylenol family.
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Guys legally blonde is on Netflix and it is a near *perfect* script and an unmatched female lead. A whole movie about how femininity is seen as stupid or small? A movie that celebrates the female leads kindness to others? Are you kidding?!? Chefs kiss.
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When you go to therapy they should get to ask three people in your life what your problem is before you start.
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i thought billionaires were jobs creators. why aren't they creating jobs right now? or is it that the labor of workers is really what adds value to companies? impossible to know!
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look if you wanted to help people you would’ve become an emt or a firefighter
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quick someone do a true crime podcast on voter suppression so white people care
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What if you lied to your husband about where $50k went and then you got so deep into the lie that you had to write a Cut article on it and get dunked on
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Every day i show my boyfriend a dog from Instagram and say “if we don’t get this dog I’ll die” and every day he just says “ok” and calls my bluff. One day I will die and he will see
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Kind of dark but:
-get a bell for exterior doors that rings when it opens so if you hear it you know (also so you can ignore other sounds)
-if you get a baseball bat for protection put a sock over the end of it
To the LADIES on my TL who have lived on their own (no roommates etc..) in their own place, what’s a piece of advice you’d give a young lady moving out on her own? I’m gathering some info for my nieces.
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