Maladroithe
@Maladroithe
Followers
8,106
Following
628
Media
4,062
Statuses
38,191
SWer in the streets, baal teshuva in the sheets. BLM. Trans rights. Decrim now. she/her/hers 💋 cashapp $Perlendame
Joined March 2020
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محمد
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namjoon
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メイドの日
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WIN NESPRESSO SUMMER
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メイドさん
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علي النبي
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メイド服
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#ArvindKejriwal
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अरविंद केजरीवाल
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太陽フレア
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Hayırlı Cumalar
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#يوم_الجمعه
• 37910 Tweets
通信障害
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#それスノ
• 31230 Tweets
चुनाव प्रचार
• 29915 Tweets
オーロラ
• 28374 Tweets
ポケミク
• 28190 Tweets
Lunin
• 20647 Tweets
マスターソード
• 18081 Tweets
アフターエポックス
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天保江戸
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group Debut Tour
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Pinned Tweet
Recently I privated for like. A day. Because a tweet of mine got QT’ed by a huge transphobic account and it appears I lost some mutuals. Happens every time I private. If I stopped following you suddenly it’s probably that
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This is still the most hardcore thing Arnold Schwarzenegger has ever said
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Public meltdowns are almost always ill-advised but if an airline lost my pets I would raze the entire airport to the ground like Sherman’s March To LAX
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One thing I’ve learned in animal rescue: if a stray cat starts clinging to you like a life raft, trying to break into your home, being incredibly affectionate and talkative, there’s a pretty decent chance that cat is pregnant and is looking for a safe place to have her babies
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This is just an IMMACULATE use of Reddit. Peak app performance.
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Grimes this is your moment. He’s not over you. Text him and say “banning all the Nazis from Twitter would be so hot” just do it and be a legend
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I’m not linking to the TikTok or giving views to the creators but the idea that 1950s housewives led happy, fulfilled lives is so thoroughly ahistorical it’s almost shocking. 16 mil+ women were prescribed sedatives and barbiturates for anxiety and depression during that period.
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How do you visit Auschwitz without dry heaving on the verge of a mental breakdown the entire time
Today I had one of the most harrowing experiences of my life. Regrettably it didn’t seem everyone there found it quite so poignant.
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I remember trying to get into Gilmore Girls and when the daughter asked the mother for $30k for her schooling and mom was like “yeah fine just come home for dinner once a week” and daughter was like “ugh mom no you’re so cringe” that’s when I turned off the TV
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In twenty years we are absolutely going to have HGTV shows called like “Flipper Fixer” where actual contractors go in and fix all the lazy, sloppy, outright dangerous renovations people made flipping late-1970s ranch-style homes.
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There’s a corner of Tik Tok that talks about subtle child neglect within hippie communities ie: not immunizing your kids, using unproven homeopathic medicine and educational methods, not using proper hygiene, and man I want more visibility for these stories
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Miss New York has this really funny TikTok series of heavens’ front desk receptionist and sometimes she breaks format and does sincere ones for people who have lost loved ones and they’re so touching
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Oh my god???? This is the only Christmas Miracle I care about??????
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Some peoples moms are dead you fucking weirdos
Something very strange is happening with Big Corporations. Out of nowhere,
@kroger
owned
@FrysFoodStores
,
@KayJewelers
,
@Hallmark
, and now
@DoorDash
have all sent "Opt out of
#MothersDay
" emails to their customer base. This is not organic.
This reeks of anti-family activists.
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EVERYBODY STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING AND WITNESS HOW ARMADILLOS COLLECT FOLIAGE
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This is the only definition of womanhood I will ever accept
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I genuinely think the perception that Barbies are expensive is a holdover from what our parents used to tell us so we wouldn’t continually beg for Barbies every time we went to any big box store
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“The tiger (me) becomes agitated when its enclosure is cluttered” I don’t put much stock in life hacks but this is actually brilliant
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The Crying Baby discourse reminds me of when a FB friend wrote a full paragraph explaining why parents who struggle to soothe their babies shouldn’t bring them in public and his MOM replied “shut the fuck up D you had colic and explosive diarrhea the first two yrs of your LIFE”
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WC: comedians are ENVELOPE PUSHERS, maaaannn. We’re not HEROES. We’re deviant boundary breakers who CHALLENGE YOU to think OUTSIDE THE BOX.
Mitch Hedberg, the best to ever do it:
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Another edition of “my boyfriend is perfect but this one thing he does really bothers me, I’m just being too sensitive, right?” and then they go on describe the meanest, pettiest little dirtbag I’ve ever heard of
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They’re not stupid, they know if they play their cards right they’ll get a warm, clean place to birth and nurse their kittens. Take your new best friend to the vet ASAP.
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Homegirl thinks she’s Jackie O, doesn’t even get the glove lengths right, she’s wearing semi-formal evening gloves with a midi formal day dress, absolutely not
Desantis says his wife is being treated unfairly: “If she were a Democrat, she’d be on every fashion magazine. They would be making her to be the biggest deal.”
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I can’t place where I read it but I recently came across the sentence “trauma responses passed down through the generations can start to look like culture” and I can’t stop thinking about it
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This is the breed Tate needs you to know he can kill in “Mortal Kombat”
Andrew Tate wants you to know he thinks an Alaskan Malamute is a wolf but don’t worry he loves it very much even though he is constantly thinking about killing it.
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The narrative that women who were once happy SAHMs were forced into the workforce purely for corporate capitalist profit (while notably omitting how hard corporate America campaigned to keep women OUT) is such a laughably bunk hypothesis I am stunned.
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There is this 5’1” Guatemalan man who goes to my gym and he’s always in a full sweatsuit, zipped to the chin, and he gets on the treadmill and does FIVE SUB-10 MILES NO BREAKS without so much as taking off his hoody, it’s like seeing Spider-Man on the street in Manhattan
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I need you to know that Oded Fehr has aged *immaculately* like this man is and always has been obscenely attractive
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Like no. Your kid getting ringworm from not wearing shoes is NOT GOOD PARENTING. Your kid knowing thirty kinds of edible plants but not long division ISN’T GREAT.
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My guy half the people on earth who have this level of physical dexterity and fine motor skill are doing heart transplants on toddlers AND the other half are in fact still sculpting, what exactly do you want
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IF YOU DON’T SCHEDULE TIME FOR MAINTENANCE, YOUR EQUIPMENT WILL SCHEDULE IT FOR YOU
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I cannot believe these dorks are trying to horseshoe society back into 1950s gender roles in the name of anticapitalism what the fuck you kraut-brained losers
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TIL that Anne Boleyn’s ladies in waiting were the ones to wrap and carry her body away post-execution because they were afraid her corpse would be mishandled and desecrated by the male attendants.
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I still think about this tweet conservatively forty times a month
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I just. I think a lot about how the Temperance Movement started off led by several survivors of alcohol-fueled DV who were so disheartened by a wildly misogynistic and apathetic legal system that they decided it would be easier to BAN ALCOHOL than to get cops to protect women.
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I genuinely wonder how that show holds up in terms of healthy mother/daughter relationships. I remember some fans were really drawn to their dynamic while I (an eldest daughter with an emotional immature and codependent mother) was EXTREMELY squicked out.
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You can just wear a fucking crinoline and LARP the fifties at home if you want! You don’t need to bring Das Kapital into it!
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@kawillert
Every single piece of conceptual art with regards to the AIDS crisis goes heart-shatteringly hard
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You need to know that toucans make happy, wheezy little honks when they get pats
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A lot of these parents have themselves convinced that they’re doing great, actually, because they spend a lot of caring, positive time with their kids. But that’s not the whole picture.
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TIL wild elephants recommend sanctuaries to each other so they know where to go when they get injured 🥹
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Babe we watched the best amateur bakers in Britain try to peel avocados like oranges, be quiet
We’re not taking slander from a nation that thinks Chipotle is Mexican and Olive Garden is Italian
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Breaking shabbat to share the realest Jewish/Catholic crossover I have ever seen
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It’s ultra fun to dunk on these dorks but remember a few key points:
1) this is fetish content.
2) she’s not a housewife, she has a job as a social media influencer.
3) crumb on the bread sucks ass, merely wanting to be a SAHW doesn’t magically endow you baking ability.
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That thing where the edit takes it from “Idk she seems kinda flaky” to “you send that woman an edible arrangement and an apology card IMMEDIATELY”
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I was at Dachau and frankly I have never been more s**c*dal in my life; it was overpowering
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Only evangelical Christians can make changing into hard pants a devotional thing
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Replace his ass with forty more houseplants tbh fuck this guy
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Honestly really proud of this journalist for going out of her way to convey that Caroline Calloway is a nightmare to work with even at the most superficial level and any project with her involved is going to be a shitshow
“I’ve created a brand out of thin air. I’m a business. But banks don’t see me that way.”
Caroline Calloway explains her life, lately, to
@LiliAnolik
:
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@clairewillett
I am extremely serious when I say she needs to get her child away from this guy ASAP
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@MistiHayesFix
Sew together all the red flags in China and you wouldn’t have one as big as the one he was hoisting
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Remembering the most powerful I have ever felt: when myself and an ex had a breakup fight and he called me a bitch and I told him if I was a bitch I was going to be the bitch whose pussy he thought about every time he fucked someone else for the rest of his life and he CHOKED UP
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Worrying about whether we are being “scammed” by people in need is probably the single most prevalent way we keep our hearts small and cold and our souls weak and miserly
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One of those “if this isn’t against labor laws it SHOULD BE” moves
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I reread this 20 times thinking I had sudden onset adult dyslexia because no way in hell
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I want to remind people two of the bravest Portlanders in recent memory were Ricky John Best and Taliesin Namkai-Meche, both unarmed men, who were murdered protecting two young Muslim women being threatened by white nationalist Jeremy Christian.
“How I move in Portland, OR”
….dude, you live in White Salmon
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Her mom stole her mezuzah scrolls because she was mad at her daughter for converting to Judaism, I’m going to be sick
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Another one to file under American Nuns Are Practicing A Wildly Different Form Of Catholicism Than Everybody Else
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“Gifts are not obligations” is something I’m going to chew on for a long time
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Maybe this is a cruel take but if my spouse ever said “I want to get rid of the cats I fought for because I’m sick of cleaning the litter” I would seriously reconsider whether you were spouse material
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We were all babies with gas in our guts and shits in our pants once, it sucked, we got better, kind of an inevitable part of being a person, chill out
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Me: *raises hand in Torah study* yeah uh would using the Hanukkah candles in BDSM sex play render them treyf or would it be a mitzvah?
rabbi: I age Greatly every time you speak
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Remembering the time I said it’s a good idea to own a couple sets of summer weight sheets (cotton, linen), a couple sets of winter weight sheets (flannel, jersey) and one set w zero holes or stains for VIP guests and some ppl acted like I was Marie Antoinette incarnate
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@imaginaryerika
@andizeisler
I really love that she describes her prospective next partner as “kind” and “normal” to emphasize that her current partner is NEITHER of these things
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Oh lord folks are following me for this one, babes please know I’m a schul-going lefty sex worker, you are gonna see a LOT of rated-R tits and ass AND Talmud Tweets. If you think Gd has a problem with my job but not with predatory mortgage lenders we are not going to get along!
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@scottbudman
I would plead guilty to crimes I didn’t even commit before I let this get read aloud in court jfc
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