Alan ⛵️
@TheAlanModracek
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Pinned Tweet
The song Dope Man has a line - “Don’t get high off your own supply” and that alone has stopped me from buying an ice cream truck
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@dyingscribe
I know a guy, used to be a school teacher, that made and sold meth to help pay for his cancer treatment and used a car wash for this very reason.
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@ItsDanSheehan
If I die in a wood chipper and my kid doesn’t say “may he rest in pieces” I will have failed as a father
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@RobDenBleyker
No matter how many people get scammed in Crypto there is another wave of suckers right behind believing they can get rich quick. It’s a never ending flow of easy marks.
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@fuckyouiquit
So told the government about this while he was out of the country? His former employer is not a good person.
Layoffs can always wait to be made official when they can be done in person.
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@moonlit_misfit
This is definitely a young person problem lol. At some point you learn to go to bed earlier.
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@historyinmemes
Not sure why they don’t just use a pressure washer. My Honda would have that thing clean in like 4 seconds.
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@fuckyouiquit
Why do companies share record profit numbers with people they don’t share profits with? It’s kinda rude.
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@TansuYegen
I remember when I was a young boy, back in 1987, my grandfather sat me down and said “Alan you can’t believe everything you see on TicTok” and that’s really stuck with me
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@BornAKang
We have an air horn and usually they just run off but sometimes they do that. Stand up and look at you like “what the fuck man I was just looking at the chickens I wasn’t gonna eat ‘em”
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@cm_crockford
“I don’t know” is literally my favorite thing to say. Keeps people from asking me dumb shit.
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@jacobhelberg
This maybe the most predictable thing to ever happen in the history of finance.
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@politicalmath
For as long as the flu vaccine has existed you can still get the flu, it’s just less likely, and less likely to result in a hospital visit. No one gripes about calling that a vaccine, what’s different here?
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@JoshuaPotash
When thieves steal insurance covers it. When cops do it you have to eat the loss.
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@zillowgonewild
This is awesome. If I were in the market for a $16M house this would definitely be on the short list
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@NoCapFights
I worked on overhead cranes for a couple of years and I had a new guy sat and cried in a lift ~110 feet in the air. I felt bad. Did all the work, totally covered for him. He got used to it eventually.
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@nathanbarry
Every time I go to the grocery store my phone connects to the WiFi and texts my wife “I’m at the grocery store do you need anything?” And I don’t have to think about it.
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@feederofcats
Wild how fast cats go from digging through the trash to being the pickiest eaters on earth
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@joeIovesbees
There are multiple routes you could take here. The fastest is probably meth, the slowest maybe Bitcoin “investing”. Lots of in between.
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@brucefenton
People were shocked at Madoff, and wondered “how could this happen”. With FTX everyone is kinda like “yeah that’s crypto lol”
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@zillowgonewild
I need to buy this so I can practice escaping so when they finally catch me they won’t keep me for long
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@tomgara
I remember when I was younger some British chick died driving too fast running from the paparazzi
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@gatinarios
My wife: what are you smiling about?
Me: watching a video of a guy taking a shower.
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@Human101Nature
Start a man a fire and warm him for the day. Start a man on fire and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life
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@coinfessions
2x money in 5 years would be good. 5x is fantastic. Shows you you twisted expectations are in the crypto world.
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@DanielDenvir
Crazy to me that people can be so in love with a politician that they think is so smart but when they disagree with said smart person there is no self reflection, no looking at the man in the mirror. No, It’s always “what happened to this guy he used to be so smart”
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@yeahshewrites
My wife gets 50+% off of our groceries every week. Takes her hours, but worth it.
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@fasc1nate
Nah man. I’ve been to a plant in Keokuk IA that makes train wheels. They can make 50 in the time it takes the dudes in this video to make 1.
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@ListComesForAll
@SirajAHashmi
@iamcardib
I don’t get it.I’m assuming it’s antisemitism, but I don’t know the point she’s trying to make here
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@ArmandDoma
This is how government works (or doesn’t work). One side pretends there isn’t a problem while the other side proposes solutions that won’t fix it.
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@realEstateTrent
Enjoy life my dude. $500k sitting on the beach is with 100x $2m sitting in an office
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@JoshEakle
The LP we loved is gone. I know some people will have a difficult time letting go, and will spend years fighting to bring it back, but it’s all for nothing. The very strange combo of communists, right wing grifters, and pedophiles own it now.
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@michaelscat2
That cat looks deep in thought
“That’s a big human it would take me all day to eat him!”
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@ASFleischman
@nsarwark
More than one officer saw this? I’m to assume none of the had their body cameras going?
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@evan_lorenz
As a crypto skeptic, all coins going to zero seems inevitable, so might as well short ‘em on the way down
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@ahmet_tetiik
If she shows any interest in me she’s clearly got terrible taste in men. Hard pass.
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@JoePompliano
Boss: “Alan no pay this week”
Me: “?”
B: you’ll get something even better. Instagram followers.
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@CNN
Lol. Not sure what soldiers are gonna do against an aircraft carrier or 11 but it’s cute of them to try!
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@ScottGreenfield
Police are often the very people we would would expect them to protect us from.
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@AssaadRazzouk
Cruises are not for me, but there is a lot of wrong information here. Cruise ships run on low sulfur diesel (all fuel burned on ships is called bunker fuel). And the ship in the picture runs on LNG. Cruise ships don’t throw trash over the side, and also treat waste water.
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@JoshEakle
@ninaturner
She’s a real person? Swear on the Bible I thought she was a troll account lol
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@RickStewart
@nsarwark
@LPNational
That’s when I left the party. Human decency requires we actively oppose racism and bigotry
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@matthewstoller
He was president for such a small portion of his life. The rest of his time on earth he was definitely a force for good.
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@Crypt0Panda
@coinfessions
My first thought was “I’ll get their info and send them a couple tablets to stop this nonsense” but then I realized it was probably made up for that very purpose
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@lydlife
@DaultRadio
That makes me a little sad. Everyone should feel safe everywhere in the US.
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@LoveeTatii_
@AdamOfficials
Whenever I go to Acme, the local grocery store, my iPhone texts my wife “do you need anything from Acme?” iPhone automation is the bees knees
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@RadioFreeTom
I see what you see, but I’ve got a more optimistic outlook on the future.
To be fair, though, I am wrong a lot.
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@buccocapital
CEOs that encourage this competition instead of mediating are a much bigger problem that I would have believed just a few years ago.
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@anothercohen
I think a lot of people are lying. No way that many people are doing this wrong
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@BitcoinMagazine
It’s the only way to get money to Russia. Skirting sanctions is bitcoins true purpose.
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@DavidEickholt
I like Corum and I hope he has a decade of success ahead of him, but not on Saturday
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@realEstateTrent
At $10M I’m out. My yacht, my cat and I will be traveling the world. Biggest stress in life will be waiting in the wind to blow.
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