Alex Cohen
@anothercohen
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Now: Co-founder @hellopatient | Previously: Led consumer and growth product @carbonhealth | Hobbies include getting fired constantly | Mostly satire
Austin, TX
Joined April 2012
Excited to share that we've raised a $22.5m Series A for Hello Patient, led by Scale Venture Partners. This is by far the worst announcement video I've ever made. I can't believe our lead investor agreed to this
Our lead investor and I have a big announcement to share. Thursday, 9AM PT.
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You’re telling me that 79% of the boats stopped off the coast of Venezuela *were* trafficking drugs??
Coast Guard records show that prior to the reign of “blow-them-to-smithereens” 21 percent of boats stopped off the coast of Venezuela possessed NO drugs!
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Thank you @MichaelDell now please fund an aquarium and a zoo in Austin 🙏
Michael and Susan Dell's historic donation: • $6.25 billion total • 25 million US children • $250 gift to each account Children 10 and under in ZIP codes with median household incomes below $150,000 will be the first eligible
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work getting jacked hanging out w/ the fam no idea how there's time for anything else!
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There's nothing more embarrassing than being a grown man complaining about a baby crying on a plane
No, you don't ask for a refund. You acknowledge that you willingly decided to fly on a plane with other people, and some of those other people may have babies that will cry. Then you learn an important lesson about bringing noise canceling headphones. If you don't want to risk
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I don't know what happened recently but ChatGPT is the dumbest it's ever been. Incredibly painful to use
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I love my Matic. 10/10. 11/10 if it could climb my stairs
Wired: 10/10 💯 The Verge: "The best robot vacuum" + 9/10 🔥 Shopify Shop: 5.0 perfect score ⭐ ZDNet: Editor's Choice 🏆 Gizmodo: Editor's Choice 🏆 Meet Matic — your home's best helper 🤖
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While my family and friends enjoyed Mac n cheese, sweet potato with marshmallows, stuffing, and green bean casserole tonight, I followed Bryan’s advice and made my own Thanksgiving dinner. Tasted like shit but at least I saved an extra 3.72 minutes of my life 🙏
Ave thanksgiving meal is = to smoking 7 cigarettes. Why and how to avoid... Average + 4,500 calories across day + 229 g fat + 69 g saturated fat + 450–600 g carbs + 150–200 g sugar (pies, rolls, alcohol...) + 3,000–4,500 mg sodium The damage: + massive glucose spikes +
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I’ve now tried Coda, Notion, Monday, ClickUp, and Outline for our internal company documentation and I hate them all. Google Drive and Docs remain elite but lack organization. How is everyone handling this?
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These are by far the most uncomfortable headphones I've ever owned. If I wear them for more than an hour on flights I get severe head pain
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We can, in fact, incarcerate our way out of violence
Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson: “We can not incarcerate our way out of vioIence... it's racist…”
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Alright you health nerds, I'm looking at saunas now. Which sauna should I get?
The single best investment I’ve made in my mental and physical health.
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This is the best and unironically funniest feature that Twitter has ever shipped
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Black Friday used to be so much fun. You’d get the newspaper the week of Thanksgiving with a whole section dedicated to limited Black Friday mega sales. Then you’d plan where to line up overnight. Now it’s Black Friday weekend, the sales are shitty, and you just buy with one
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I still can’t believe some people have $1200/mo car payments. Gives me anxiety just thinking about having a car payment that high
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If you know someone great, please send them our way and DM me that you referred them! https://t.co/INla6MhJBI
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I’ll personally wire $5,000 to anyone who helps us hire our first Business Analyst before end of year. We’re looking for someone with 2–4 years of experience who is: * Strong with SQL * Scrappy with tools like Julius AI and other AI tools to ship reporting fast * Comfortable
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How many Altman brothers are there??
Max is, mathematically, one of the highest performing VCs of the last 10 years and this is his first public interview. Absolutely thrilled for the world to get to know my business partner @maxaltman the way I do. Much love to our old friend @HarryStebbings - thanks for a great
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Each of these Crumbl cookie is 680 calories. I'd eat 22 of these in 24 hours easily
If you had 24 hours to eat 15,000 calories of any one food for $5,000,000 what food would you choose?
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