Alex Cohen 🤠
@anothercohen
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Having fun on the internet. Building something new. Side project: . Previously led consumer product @carbonhealth
Austin, TX
Joined April 2012
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Pinned Tweet
POV: You're coworking at a San Francisco coffee shop in 2025
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I was laid off from Twitter this afternoon. I was in charge of managing badge access to Twitter offices.
Elon just called me and asked if I could come back to help them regain access to HQ as they shut off all badges and accidentally locked themselves out.
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This is inside the Sphere in Las Vegas.
This may be the most insane concert venue ever built
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I don’t understand how people wake up at 4 or 5 to start their days. Do they just go to sleep at 8?
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I was laid off from Twitter today. I was the designer in charge of our new rebranding to X.
I learned so much in my 2.5 weeks at the company but I’m excited to see where I land next.
If you’re hiring a self taught, junior designer please DM me. Graphic design is my passion!
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Fuck it, here are the best Stephen Hawking Epstein Island memes of the last 24 hours:
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My wife just texted me this, I'm sleeping on the couch tonight
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I’m just now realizing that Elon may not know what Figma is and thinks this is a Ligma-esque joke
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Fellas, is it unethical to be honest?
I find it distasteful, almost unethical, to say this when you have 18 million subscribers.
Hard to explain why, but with great reach comes great responsibility. Potentially killing someone else’s nascent project reeks of carelessness.
First, do no harm.
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At 29, my net worth is $25m. Here's how I got there:
* Saved $500k from my job over 8 years
* Saved $250k from my side hustles
* Bought $1.25m in highly leveraged real estate
* Received a $23m gift from my parents when I turned 18
Follow me for more personal finance advice
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I'm not going to lie, this is the most entertaining exit interview I've ever witnessed
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Someone please explain to me why police officers get to drive $60k blacked out Tahoes while the mail guy has to drive around in a 30 year old truck that gets 9mpg and has no airbags or air conditioning
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Founders building web3 solutions for problems that don’t exist
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Stephen Hawking as soon as the plane touched ground on Epstein’s Island
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Squatters rights might be the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard of.
If someone is illegally living in your property you should be able to shoot them or have them arrested.
This whole “file a formal eviction and go through expensive legal proceedings” is anti American
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Boeing testing a new plane before determining that it’s safe to put in production
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Who is the genius at Zoom who thought it would be a good idea to force an update right as you join a meeting?
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I've never seen a video that more accurately describes LinkedIn
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Absolutely based video. Someone should hire this chick.
> Cares about her work
> Can read bullshit
> Isn’t afraid to tell it like it is
Recording is questionable but she’s prob never been fired before and I would have done something equally as stupid
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Stephen Hawking on his way to Epstein’s Island after hearing there was an orgy goin on
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Being trapped 13k feet below sea level in a metal tube, in pitch black water, knowing exactly how much air you have left, unable to navigate your way back to the surface on your own, sounds like literal nightmare fuel
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Microsoft Teams is an abomination of a product.
The only reason companies use it is because it's included with an Office 365 subscription.
I'm not convinced that even a single designer ever worked on it
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Men will make $300k/year as FAANG software engineers and their apartments will still look like this
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I don’t think people without kids understand just how much free time they have
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I mean this sincerely when I say that ChatGPT might be the most incredible tech to emerge in the last decade.
Here's how I got it to create a weight loss plan, complete with calorie targets, meal plans, a grocery list, and workout plan 🧵:
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Twitter is amazing, this person won a pulitzer prize
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@elonmusk
It’s obvious he did all middle management work from that exchange but I personally would not put an ex employee on blast and force them to prove their worth in front of 100m+ people
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Once again I would like to remind everyone that the product manager at Zoom who decided that users should be forced to update before joining a meeting should be fired.
I am now 2 minutes late
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I was laid off from Lyft today. I was the Director of Finance in charge of reporting our margin expansion in our earnings release.
I accidentally wrote 500 basis points when I meant to write 50 and our stock tanked after we issued the correction.
Working at Lyft has been the…
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If you didn't do enough diligence to notice that I left "came in fluffer" in my fundraising chart and then included it in your weekly email, you should probably not be a VC
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I was laid off from OpenAI today along with my boss Sam.
I was the person in charge of putting together the presentations for our board meetings.
No one has told me why I was let go but Sam texted me “wtf” and next thing I know my Slack and Gmail were disabled.
I’m now…
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We don't talk enough about the incredible rise of menswear Twitter guy to Tier 1 shitposter
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The fresh MBA grad who just landed a job at McKinsey arriving at your company’s office to present a pitch deck he copied and pasted recommending that your company should simply generate more revenue and cut expenses
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I don't know a single person who works in tech and hasn't seriously thought about quitting and opening up a coffee shop in a small town in the middle of nowhere
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If you think you're idea is too dumb to work, just remember that Scrub Daddy, a sponge in the shape of a face, does $670m in annual sales
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I'm coming around to the idea that renting is a better financial decision than buying.
Exceptions being if you plan to actually stay in a home for 15+ years or you're buying ultra high end
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If you ask Google Gemini to compare Hitler and Obama it's 'inappropriate' but asking it to compare Hitler and Elon Musk is 'complex and requires careful consideration'.
Google just needs to shut this terrible app down
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You've been lied to.
The 30s and 40s are your prime years. If you do it right you will be way further in your career, better off financially, and hotter than ever. Your brain fully develops and life gets way more fulfilling.
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Imagine working at Meta and making $1m/year in total comp as a product manager and your entire job is to just copy and paste things from other apps.
That’s the dream
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I don’t understand how the following restaurants are still in business:
- Chilis
- Applebees
- Olive Garden
- Red Lobster
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100% remote work combined with a no meeting culture is going to create a large group of lonely, isolated workers
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Lead engineer joining the sales rep on a client pitch
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LinkedIn is down and really my only hope is that it stays down forever and dies
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Fuck it, here are the best pop tart memes from the last 24 hours:
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Sad to share that I was laid off from Google today. I was in charge of making the algorithms for Gemini as woke as possible.
After complaints on Twitter surfaced today, I suddenly lost access to Hangouts and Google Drive, and my manager (he/him), texted me to let me know that i…
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Product managers jumping into the Figma file to add comments for the designers
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Sitting in a hotel right now thinking about how much better they are than Airbnbs
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I just showed up to Burning Man with 10 tons of food and clothes.
Desperate VCs are offering me positions in their top startup investments in exchange for a warm meal and clean outfit.
I’ve already amassed a sizable position in Stripe and SpaceX.
This is how I win
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Tried a new pickup line on my wife and it didn’t work
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❌ Stop the fentanyl crisis
❌ Reduce mass car break ins
❌ Put an end rampant retail theft
❌ Build more housing
✔️ Vote in favor of a resolution that won't actually do anything
SAN FRANCISCO JUST VOTED 8-3 IN SUPPORT OF A CEASEFIRE RESOLUTION!!!
It’s time for other cities to follow. ✊
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For every 10 likes I'll tell ChatGPT to make this image more patriotic
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Stephen Hawking when his debit card got declined on Epstein Island
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My favorite legal thing that feels illegal is using the Calendly links from salespeople who email me nonstop and booking them calls with each other
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I still can’t believe Parag Agrawal only had to be CEO of Twitter from 11 months to then get paid $60m in severance and now gets to sit back and enjoy this incredible drama
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Every company is a mess internally, you just need to decide which people you enjoy working on the mess with
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I hate that this is the most accurate video I’ve ever seen
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How Stephen Hawking was on the Jeffery Epstein Island getting ready for his orgy..
#EpsteinClientList
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Matt Damon calculating how much he lost investors since shilling crypto at the top
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Imagine getting laid off by your company because of ‘tough market conditions’ only to see them run a 30 second Super Bowl ad for $7m
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Bill Gates: Divorced
Elon Musk: Divorced
Jeff Bezos: Divorced
Going forward, I am only investing in founders who are divorced or have plans to
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Just got an oil change for my second Ferrari. It’s going to cost me $1250 every 6 months. How do normal people afford this?
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BREAKING:
Lines out the door at Kohl’s stores as panicked shoppers move quickly to redeem billions in Kohl’s cash.
Joe, 70, a lifelong Kohl’s shopper told me, “it’s like nothing I’ve ever seen before. I thought this was the only stable currency left that was safe.”
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Founders building web3 solutions for problems that don’t exist
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I know someone who has gone to WeWork for the last 2 years without a membership.
Just walks in confidently, waves at the front desk staff, and takes a seat. No one says anything.
This is why they’re bankrupt
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Someone on the design team at Google needs to be fired this is objectively a 10x worse experience
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Every time someone drives by me in one of these all I can think about is how they're spending ~$1,500/mo to haul the family around
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If you're questioning whether it's too early to ship your product, just remember that Boeing shipped 737 Max airplanes without fully tightening down all of the bolts
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You can spend your entire career working long hours and doing your best yet still might never make as much as the PM on the Google team who spent 6 months on an entire project to simply change the background color and layout on the Sign In page
TC: $1.1m
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