Siraj Hashmi
@SirajAHashmi
Followers
161K
Following
230K
Media
21K
Statuses
78K
Creator of @ListComesForAll | Co-founder of @habibi_bros | father of @hard2ern
Joined January 2013
Meet the Administrator of DOGE . The Department of GovERNment Efficiency
33
33
436
Vaxxed?.
BREAKING: Person who shot at Trump has died.
399
8K
173K
I owe you an apology, Dr. Fauci. I wasn’t really familiar with your game.
Case of a 19 year-old woman experiencing significant breast hypertrophy starting 1 week after receiving the Pfizer COVID-19 vaccine in September 2022. "The patient initially reported tingling paresthesia in her breasts, followed by sudden bilateral growth which worsened after
425
7K
152K
Kamala just got a 5-point bump with Boomers.
163
4K
134K
The Hawk Tuah girl is reportedly close to signing a deal for a reality show about her life. Via TMZ
120
6K
124K
Yeah, he’s dead.
NOW - Kamala speaks to Biden over phone at campaign HQ: "It is so good to hear our President's voice. Joe, I know you're still on the reco. on the call. and we've been talking everyday. ".
540
6K
110K
This you, Pocahontas?
Last time I checked, nobody voted for the richest man in the world to run the federal government.
2K
16K
98K
This clip of Kobe explaining the game to his daughter went viral just last week too.
551
9K
66K
Ok, hear me out
Sydney Sweeney met with Lucasfilm recently. Which character would you like to see her portray in the Star Wars universe?
88
3K
66K
“Thank you. Now, watch this drive.”
Name something that’s forever funny no matter how many times it’s repeated.
169
6K
62K
“Give it to me straight, how long will it take to blow 51% of America?”
3K
3K
55K
Norm MacDonald said this at the fuckin ESPYs lmaooo. an absolute legend. rest in peace Norm
343
8K
52K
“The markets are crashing. Please tell us how you plan to fix it.”. Kamala HQ:
903
4K
54K
has anyone thought to cancel the Taliban takeover by digging up all its old tweets?.
251
5K
45K
“Joe, I need you to become unburdened by what has been.”
241
3K
45K
She's literally in office right now.
Harris's speech in one sentence: America, you don't have to live like this anymore.
170
3K
46K
<She takes out a red sharpie and crosses “Acosta” off her list>. <She smiles and turns the page>
379
3K
44K
Men’s Wearhouse.
590
2K
43K
Trump Says He Wants To Get His Hair Cut At Black Barbershop
77
3K
42K
Imagine growing up in a country that is dominated by only ONE sport that literally everyone knows how to play. Imagine the best players from that country end up being the best players in the world. Now, imagine that world-class talent losing to a bunch of guys who play this sport.
USA STUNS PAKISTAN AT THE MEN’S T20 CRICKET WORLD CUP 🚨. Biggest upset in the sport's history 🤯
623
2K
37K
Honestly, Biden saying the n-word might be the best play here.
135
1K
37K
🚨Breaking News: Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has officially resigned.
66
2K
37K
*a women’s rights event in the Middle East*
I promise you that this image will be displayed at every women's rights event in the Middle East as a symbol of western hypocrisy.
61
4K
35K
<She takes out her red sharpie and crosses “Joy Reid” off her list>. <She smirks and turns the page>
MSNBC cancels Joy Reid’s lefty show as network makes major shakeup over falling ratings
264
2K
35K
Kamala: “Do not come. Do not come.”. Trump: “I’m gonna come.”
Name something that’s forever funny no matter how many times it’s repeated.
112
3K
33K
The Acolyte looks awful. If I wanted to watch a black woman assault an Asian, I’d take public transit in San Francisco.
327
2K
33K
Dianne Feinstein may be gone, but this clip of her dunking on a bunch of kids to their face will live on forever in our hearts.
2K
4K
31K
Might be the greatest Alex Jones monologue of all time
Name something that’s forever funny no matter how many times it’s repeated.
290
3K
31K
Me and the boys after making $37,000 from gambling on WNBA games based on the players’ menstrual cycles
296
2K
31K
BREAKING: Allexis Ferrell sentenced to 30 months for EATING A CAT in Ohio.
37
2K
31K
The name of this locomotive… wait for it
Name something that’s forever funny no matter how many times it’s repeated.
118
3K
30K
This moment from the 2016 Libertarian Party presidential debate
Name something that’s forever funny no matter how many times it’s repeated.
197
2K
28K
Kamala came to Fox to stack bodies.
31
965
29K
The shooter donated to the Democrat org, ActBlue, on the day of Biden’s inauguration and then registered as a Republican to vote for Nikki Haley in the primary, you ignorant slut, @RepSwalwell.
577
6K
27K
The mother who tried to raise her son as non-binary:
Dad wins full custody of son, 4, after child’s mother allegedly tried to raise him non-binary
59
958
26K
I'm crying at the amount of people who've wished death on me for this tweet.
“Give it to me straight, how long will it take to blow 51% of America?”
610
648
26K
I’m a Christian. So they may try to drive me to my knees, but that’s where I’m the strongest.
103
2K
25K
NO, ELON! DON’T DO IT!!!
278
1K
25K
I'MSPEAKINGI'MSPEAKINGI'MSPEAKINGI'MSPEAKINGI'MSPEAKINGI'MSPEAKINGI'MSPEAKINGI'MSPEAKINGI'MSPEAKINGI'MSPEAKINGI'MSPEAKINGI'MSPEAKINGI'MSPEAKINGI'MSPEAKINGI'MSPEAKINGI'MSPEAKINGI'MSPEAKINGI'MSPEAKINGI'MSPEAKINGI'MSPEAKINGI'MSPEAKINGI'MSPEAKINGI'MSPEAKINGI'MSPEAKING.
ABC News rejects Kamala Harris last-minute bid to change Trump debate rules, will keep muted mics
133
1K
25K
Joe Rogan isn’t some sort of menacing figure trying to take over the world. the dude literally just has an inquiring mind. even if he comes to the wrong conclusion sometimes, he keeps it moving and asks questions trying to get to the truth. isn’t that a virtue we should all want?.
408
2K
23K
I thought I was mentally prepared to hear this trans lawyer’s voice… apparently not.
WATCH: Trans lawyer will tell the Supreme Court that castrating children provides 'critical benefits' & claims 2-year-olds know when they're trans.
972
1K
24K
<She takes out her red sharpie and crosses “Andrea Mitchell” off her list>. <She nods and turns the page>
209
2K
25K
Translation: “I abuse my kids. My sister abuses her kids. All the kids I know are victims of child abuse.”.
“My kids are trans, my sisters kids are trans, every kid I know is trans…” What are the odds that she’s normal and we are all crazy?
262
2K
24K
The Avengers have assembled to save democracy and elect Kamala Harris as our next president.
39
1K
23K
*Kamala Harris drops out of presidential race*. Tulsi:
370
3K
21K
None of the five countries they filed a complaint against are China.
Climate activist Greta Thunberg and 15 other young people file a human rights complaint with the United Nations against five countries over the climate crisis
540
4K
20K
Is everyone in the Biden administration retarded?.
Reporter: Nearly a million jobs "created" since Kamala took office do not exist. Raimondo: “I don’t believe it because I’ve never heard Trump say anything truthful.”. Reporter: "It is from the Bureau of Labor.". Raimondo: "I'm not familiar with that.".
1K
2K
20K
Europe without the US:
This picture will end up in history books. This is the turning point for western civilization. This is where we reject USA as vassals and choose our own destiny.
98
990
19K
“Babe, try to keep it light at Thanksgiving dinner.”. Me, 13 beers deep:
117
2K
18K
Imagine getting friendzoned so hard that you post about it 17 years later and get ratio’d into oblivion and have to set your account to protected in the process
176
903
18K
Been a tough 24 hours for the trans community. Please respect their privacy as they mourn Trans Icon Ebrahim Raisi.
316
1K
17K
OH I’M SORRY, I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA.
Arkansas men arrested for taking turns shooting each other while wearing bulletproof vest after drinking
190
3K
16K
if you ever compare 1/6 to 9/11 again, please forever shut the fuck up.
172
2K
16K
Trump was banned from Twitter not because of his handling of 1/6, but because he would savage Biden every day on this website. change my mind.
258
2K
16K
“So, I’m at this convenience store in Minneapolis at the height of COVID, and I asked this guy in line if he can break a $20… little did he know, the $20 was a fake.”
55
487
16K
