SminkyPinky 🌺🇪🇺🇺🇦
@sminkypinky76
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Following
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I’m here for the pets. It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me. Over there where the skies are blue 👀 as @sminkypinky
Southend-on-Sea, Essex
Joined July 2009
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@EwaSR
We have a girl in her office that barely says anything and if she tells you "No." you know there's trouble. Silent but deadly.
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@Cromerty
My sister and I used to walk the Rspca dogs for the kennels. My parents used to call it Dogging. We had a chat about only saying that at home.
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@amylopan
I used to get migraines, it was like someone stabbing me in the eye with a screwdriver and hitting me on the head with a rubber mallet painkillers didn’t touch it. Then I got sciatica and it’s absolutely got to be the closest I’ll get to childbirth.
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@EwaSR
She's had 3 people sacked over the years! Not in an evil way, but it's always her that's the straw that broke the donkey's back moment.
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@sophxthompson
@ohchrissavidge
My sister forbade me from singing to Enrique Iglesias in the cafe at lunchtime, she is all the people on that train.
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@bigdybbukenergy
The one about your lunch, my sister used to work at school and the kids busted two of the teachers as being a couple because they both had the same sandwiches!
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@Ailsa_c
@biscoffbabe
Someone locally is going round and buying up all the bungalows in a couple of particularly long roads. They are all now grey rendering on the front. Disgusting.
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@thecatreviewer
neighbourhood panther popped in to ask me to keep the tv volume down if I’ve got the doors open. 10/10 for not running away as soon as I waved.
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@badg_er
@perfectsweeties
My dad got angry that his laptop was so slow and told me I had to disable the virus protection and he didn't care he just wanted it to work quicker. Yeah because of the crappy websites you're looking at are definitely not what's being slow.
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@C_majuscula
@MusicNerdLawGuy
@bocxtop
@ronnui_
I now know that all those denier folk in the disaster movies on the cheap channels are based on fact.
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@ChicaLolita
@Lapsedcat
I work in an export-import department. I appear to be the only person who knows where anything is. I wanted to cry when my colleague tried to make a telephone booking to Kakistan. She kept repeating it and I died a little more each time.
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@qikipedia
I was forced to play Mary in infant school. I cried as I didn’t like Joseph.
I am not earning high, probably due to my deep seated issues about being made to do as I’m told in the school nativity.
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@SianAitken
@AndyAitcheson
@almurray
I said that somewhere in the corner is someone in a cold sweat working out how they can dart in and retrieve it.
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@thecatreviewer
butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth, but she’d like to try. Mallorcan floof giving the eyes to everyone who had food 10/10
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@wsebag
@AdamLenson
@Pink
Well I always thought it was coming out so this is news to me. I thought she was just like "get ready because I'm coming out tonight".
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@johannawinant
You now appear to be in some sort of wildlife secret Santa and I am ready to be involved.
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@cawleykid
@motherofnaggins
Makes their figures look good. I sat in the airport bar at Southend and watched the plane push off and then sit on the runway for 40 minutes, and the airport said it left on time 🤔
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@paul_haine
I thought it might not be too terrible because it's only on one slice and then she folded over...
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I'm in my old room but there are two mattresses on the bed and it's like being on a boat every time I make a tiny movement.
#duvetknowitschristmas
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@j_o_n_a_than
OMG! I got told off for turning the taps on and off too much a couple of years ago! (My dad had replaced the 40-year-old original 70s mixer tap and the new one was rubbish but apparently that is my fault because I insist on using water)
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@samuelt22223
@MissPotkin
When this happens please stop kissing them for a bit. No sense in you getting sick too.
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@qikipedia
(Also reconnected on fb recently and i think he’s turned into someone i’m going to unfollow very soon under the brexit/racist act 2019)
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@redditships
Oh she’s going to fake dump you and carry on the affair under the radar afterwards.
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@thecatreviewer
Georgie, 4, arrived with us last week. Just tried to help herself to the turkey. 10/10
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@thecatreviewer
unusual ginger tabby mix, initially ignored me but I don't go down without a fight*. 10/10 will seek out to pet again. *fuss
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@thecatreviewer
XL Majorcan floof chillaxing in the chippings, allowed brief scritch with little emotional response except to warn off a dog
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@TerribleMaps
I have always thought that supper is just a snack you have later on, like a cheese sandwich, because you had your dinner at 5:30 and you’re hungry again.
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@Fred_Delicious
My first long-term teenage job was an evening office cleaner. One of the guys there had a Far Side calendar and he would save the pages up and leave them in an envelope for me at Security.
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@thecatreviewer
spent 3 evenings talking this Majorca cutie into allowing me a scritch, which worked well until she issued the ENOUGH swipe.
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@abulic_monkey
@MooseAllain
@kathynerissa
Couldn’t remember the name of corn on the cob recently so I just called it a sweetcorn baguette.
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@ademwaterman
Well this won't work, people won't have got anything in to make their sandwiches tomorrow.
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@Dawn_Galway
Came out of the changing room in TK Maxx finished trying stuff on, my sister came out of her cubicle and said “oh no, don’t buy those jeans”. These are my jeans. 😐
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@thecatreviewer
new mid-floof local. 8/10 for looks but marks lost for possible involvement in inciting violence. Would like to pet.
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@SusanCalman
Sat watching hours of poor quality night vision cctv of my garden (camera inside) and was so excited about the hedgehog pottering about. Until it scaled the fence. Turns out it was a spider on the outside of the window. 👍
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@thecatreviewer
intruder out back at work hunting birds, nervous but ultimately couldn’t resist my outstretched hand. Hope to fuss again.
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@cliomcl
@alexgrannelluno
We used to go to one before you had to have it all on your phone to stop cheating, the host would get progressively more hammered into the quiz (Sunday) and we would sometimes leave before the end because she kept stopping for a cigarette break and we had to get up for work.
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@Flawless_Cowboi
He didn't lean back on his car seat when he drove, he sat up straight like he was pretending to drive on an invisible chair.
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@icod
I keep my headphones in one in my handbag. Always useful for my craft supplies. Such a thoughtful gift.
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@LukewSavage
Ah I see you have enjoyed the British eclipse experience. Congratulations on having your dreams shattered. It's our "thing".
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@katebeingsilly
We walked into the supermarket near our hotel in Berlin and the whole entrance aisle was just a wall of Haribo. We went back for a second go before we went home.
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There is a lady who delivers the papers on a tricycle and she has a speaker in the front basket. This morning she is playing like a prayer by madonna, everybody sway and clap now!
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@MidnightSheep_
@fairycakes
@youngvulgarian
Can’t believe it’s taken so long for someone to mention shorts!
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@viqui3000
@sarahhollowell
I hate being wet when I get out of the shower, I needed to dry off asap, but I'm happy to be wet when I get out of the sea or pool.
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Car park cat. Suspected to visit the security office with the night shift... no fuss as he was on a mission. 8/10 for floof
@thecatreviewer
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@alexmasonn_x
@plinketyplink2
My ex-boyfriend used to have a cigarette, a toffee crisp and a can of Coke before he went to the station at 6:30 in the morning. I can’t even cope with a glass of orange juice before 10am.
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@townsendyesmate
My Nan tripped over in her front porch instead of shouting help she was shouting coo-eeee at a passer by. 🙄
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The bed is fine except there are two mattresses on it so it’s like being on a moving ship.
I’ve been told the cat’s nest is on there and I’m not to move it. (And also apparently the long body pillow is joining me 😬)
#duvetknowitschristmas
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Today is Georgieversary
@bestcatlitter
She was delivered in time for Christmas 2016 from the
@CatsProtection
and she is my parent’s baby.
#giveacrap
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@tinytwink
Cried A LOT during the Life of Grime on tv when they put poison down for Rodney the rat who lived under a shed (I still remember his name from about 2005) and my boyfriend thought something terrible had happened “HIS FAMILY WILL WONDER WHY HE HASN’T COME HOME!”
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@thecatreviewer
tabby three-paws tanning his white bits today. He’s very friendly and wanders too close to the road which might account for a missing leg.
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On Monday the cat announced the arrival of winter by sitting on top of the microwave after someone has warmed up their breakfast.
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@monicaheisey
@Brainmage
My parents cat only has one flavour of food because she is on the vet food, but we show her the different sachets anyway so she feels like she’s getting a choice.
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@fesshole
You'll need to go digging that up on a dark stormy night illuminated only by the lightning reflecting off your drenched rain mac.
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I would visit this as a London attraction. Send me the location asap.
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@TheAndrewNadeau
Saxophone intro was the indicator that this Murder She Wrote episode was set in New York.
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@iggigg
@charliejburness
Channel 4 have done society a favour by pointing this woman out so she can be avoided by all.
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@twitlifebalance
@memorialdevice
Me too. Any recipe on tv where they deep or shallow fry is a NOPE. The bottle of crisp & dry and the funnel draining it back in, bit of chip at the bottom of the bottle.
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@colleen_eileen
@Roy_oh_Roy
I used to blow my colleague’s minds a few years back with my weekends. Some of them never actually left the town, so me driving far away on a whim was WILD. Still melts their brains that we never know where we’re going with a week off until 2 days before. Ibiza tomorrow? Sure!
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@fesshole
How long between servings do you wait so that a few greasy crumbs have the opportunity to go mouldy?
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@KazSusan
@bunsenbernerbmd
I like to think it feels like thinking of taking off your bra after a long day at work.
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@thecatreviewer
unexpected cat in the car park area tonight. Stopped in the middle of the car park to get a photo. Hot footed it into the bin store so it knows exactly what it’s doing, you can see there is purpose in that walk. 10/10 for pleasant surprise, 1/10 for accessibility.
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You know that thing where they give an orphaned kitten to a dog hoping they’ll bring it up as their own...
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@fesshole
Wondering exactly who is rude to a dental nurse? What would occur for that to happen? Also please use the suction more than you do because I'm drowning down there under those safety glasses.
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@forever_ela
@onmy9thlife
@Woolychops
my sister buys that for the beach hut. When she offers me a cup of tea I am not agreeing to an instant tea. I know she has milk and teabags, dont disrespect me like that.
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@anon_opin
Deary me, half of my department can't even remember how to login on a Monday after two days off, let alone good Microsoft anything.
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@ImBuddhish
Basildon is Bas Vegas. They even got a Hollywood sign in case anyone was in any doubt where you were.
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@_ACasso
@rubytrubes
No no no people don’t want to see me at the sink in my marigolds wrestling with stubborn potato wedged in the masher.
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@EllieHistory
My sister has identified it as the bacon the milkman has left on some poor soul’s doorstep! Bet the cat thought it was Christmas come early! 🥓
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@thecatreviewer
I started my official cat fussing 11 years ago.
Binning old photos. The cat caused me to lose my ex on holiday for 45 mins. I stopped to fuss it, he kept walking. He thought I stropped off
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@NicklebyWhelks
@HannahAlOthman
I can’t lie, I thought he was going to go down the slide and I was gutted when he didn’t.
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@TinyWriterLaura
Goodness me, us women are known for hating musical talent and a sense of humour.
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@JessieeKeogh
@charlottewillis
@amylmrn
Just as a side note, I would love to see a Twitter account with Argos stories.
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@dorkusmalorkus_
If someone has something nice or fancy, I will say “I see ambassador is really spoiling us”.
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@joolsevelyn
I feel like you are Roman Stone at heart but a Velvet Truffle on the drag scene.
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@Pandamoanimum
I was super impressed that amazon forced a clothes bag through the letterbox before Christmas.
However it wasn’t my parcel. Again.
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@shitlondon
@WHS_Carpet
I like this approach, our local ones always look like they're having an illegal rave out the back on a Tuesday lunchtime.
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@alexeptable
In the early days of my Twitter account I mentioned how I wondered what happened to Deån Caïn for him to only appear in disaster or hallmark Christmas movies. Oooooh boy.
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