Marie Le Conte
@youngvulgarian
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hard-working dilettante / freelance journalist & author / sometimes on the radio / marie.s.leconte @gmail .com / 🇫🇷🇲🇦
London
Joined March 2011
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hello! two quick work things:
1) it only took me about a decade but I finally bought a domain name! my portfolio is now at
2) I actually have some time this month and next, after a hectic late 2023, so get in touch if you'd like me to do stuff for you
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"it's not stupid if it works", cf.
does anyone have any useful sentences that will change my life immediately upon being read?
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Two auto-replying bots have now been stuck in a loop with each other for several hours and the resulting thread reads like most of my internal monologue:
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rarely not thinking about the tweet that said that if you were a time traveller you'd probably have to avoid going back to WW1 purely because it'd be really hard to never refer to it as "world war one"
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I tried to come up with a funny tweet to go with this headline but I think it's actually a work of art by itself
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as a sort of serious thought: as someone who grew up online it really sucks that social media is now the place where you're meant to project your most professional self, when for most of my life it was the place you specifically went to to get weird
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truly infuriating story, this - every quote from the council is "yes this has actually been great for us on basically every measure" and every government quote is "ha ha ha, better things aren't possible :)"
Government says four-day working weeks should 'cease immediately'
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imagine waking up from like, not even that long a coma, just from a couple of weeks in a coma, and seeing this
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Couldn't care less about the wedding but good LORD Cara Delevingne:
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god I'm so happy Instagram is still not working, I hope it stays down, finally the hot people will have to come here and learn to be funny to get attention like the rest of us
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an MP was murdered in the street in broad daylight in 2016
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AT THE CRAB MUSEUM AND THEIR MERCH IS THE BEST MERCH I'VE EVER SEEN I'M IN HYSTERICS
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I'm sorry but the idea of Boris being stuck as PM of a messy minority government with the rest of the Commons not allowing him to have an election would be, to use a professional phrase, really fucking funny
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happy International Women's Day to the Bene Gesserit
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"realistically how funny can a song choice be", I thought before turning the sound on, stupidly
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oddly angry at Boris spending the entire summer on holiday, everyone told him to leave No10 earlier in the summer and he fought tooth and nail to cling on, won, and is now not doing anything with it, obnoxious and undignified til the very last moment
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There's a French man trying to explain the tu/vous thing to someone at the table next to me in the café and I just had to interrupt to show them this, which I'm delighted to say actually helped:
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I realise I sound like a broken record but can I just state, again, how mental it is that the papers are focusing on trans people being some sort of gigantic threat to us all (?) when Britain is largely falling apart as a country
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if I were Tusk I would have started every statement in the past year with a big sip from a bottle of scotch and "listen up you cunts" so if anything I admire his restraint
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oh my god, oh my god, a man in the street just gave me the "cheer up love, it may never happen" treatment, IN THE MIDDLE OF A PANDEMIC, the brass neck, THE GALL
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going to watch Dune Part: Two again and in hysterics at this display
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there is no world in which you can predict what relationship problem this woman is complaining about
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This delightful and genuinely hilarious post about what it's like to listen to cricket on the radio for the first time has temporarily made everything okay:
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wow the sun from the Teletubbies aged poorly
“The government needs to review, in the light of what we’re seeing today, whether or not all these construction workers are actually really essential.”
Former Tory leader
@MPIainDS
says “we should delete some” construction workers from going to work
#Newsnight
|
#Covid19
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there's something I've been half-thinking about for a year or so, and the universal experience of the lockdown has kind of brought it into sharper relief, so I'm going to have a stab at putting it into words:
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every politician coming out in favour of banning anonymity on the internet should also give up the right to ever give an unattributed quote to the press, IMO
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nothing but love for the woman in this museum who, without missing a beat, responded to her baby's wails with "I know, I prefer his earlier stuff too"
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I think it's the hand placement that really does it
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@EmilyThornberry
@bbceurovision
Emily is France, one of your closest neighbours, the country of my forefathers, represented here with a single babybel?
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EU: but how do we know the AstraZeneca jab is safe???
ᵁᴷ: ʷᵉ'ᵛᵉ ᵍᶦᵛᵉⁿ ᵐᶦˡˡᶦᵒⁿˢ ᵒᶠ ᶦᵗ, ᵃˡˡ ᵍᵒᵒᵈ ˢᵒ ᶠᵃʳ
EU: better halt everything, we need more data
ᵁᴷ: ᵐᶦˡˡᶦᵒⁿˢ, ⁿᵒᵗ ᵃ ᵖʳᵒᵇˡᵉᵐ ᵗᵒ ʳᵉᵖᵒʳᵗ
EU: just too risky
ᵁᴷ: ᴹᴵᴸᴸᴵᴼᴺˢ
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not to go all righteous but it is an *outrage* that Boris Johnson was allowed to resign of his own accord and wasn't sacked months ago
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lol the last train back to London this evening, aka the last chopper out of Saigon before the strike tomorrow, has just been cancelled
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now the wallpaper lady has been brought back, which characters from previous seasons would you like to see on the show again? I'm voting Petronella Wyatt
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to be fair to Rishi, it's true that eating out can help mitigate a weak pound
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call me old fashioned but I do feel that occupying one of the great offices of state, and running one of the biggest departments in government, amounts to more than "stopping the boats"
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realise this is potentially quite French of me but I don't like the idea of someone being told by the state that they will never be able to buy a pack of cigarettes
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something just quite uniquely surreal about simultaneously following the proclamation of a new king and the retreat of a major army on European soil, like accidentally having got stuck in the wrong century
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"they worked very long hours"
girl Wine Time Fridays started at 4pm?
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WHY CAN'T YOU ALL JUST BLOCK PIERS MORGAN AND GO ON WITH YOUR LIVES, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD
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me precisely three pints in showing everyone a tweet I did earlier that day
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motherfucker that's just picky bits, you're culturally appropriating picky bits
Welcome to “girl dinner.”
Women across TikTok are showing off their suppers — snack plates made by one person, for the consumption and enjoyment of one person. They're akin to an aesthetically pleasing Lunchable.
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[runs in, panting]
guys, guys
Jo Johnson
has resigned to spend less time with his family
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going to convince Gen Z that MySpace was pronounced like Versace
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do occasionally wonder how many Conservative MPs regret not putting their big boy pants on and voting through May's deal
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yes Charles got tested because he's a royal, you lot have had royals for a while now, they get special perks because they're royals, I'm not sure how it's coming as a surprise now
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Theresa was not impressed by Angela and Emmanuel's impromptu beatbox battle.
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if anything I'd say the rules on the new localised lockdown are a bit too clear, next time Matt Hancock should slip the announcement in five chocolate bars across different newsagents in the town he wants to lock up
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oooh, ooooh look at me I'm British, I'm British and I'm going to stay up to watch the mid-terms, I watched The West Wing you know, no I couldn't name most European prime ministers but that county? that county in Nevada? I could write essays about it, I could write books about tha
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briefly adding my voice to the "well obviously London isn't a 24 hour city" chorus by pointing out that I'm just finishing my dinner in a restaurant in basically zone 1 and they're actively cleaning the tables and preparing to close as I finish my main, at 9.01pm, wooo London!
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hello I've seen a few people say that we should remove support bubbles to get infections down and I would like to say that maybe we should try everything else first, there's quite a lot of stuff we haven't even done yet, please don't throw the single dwellers under the bus, thx
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see someone had a chic little dinner on the northern line this evening
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from the NHS website
Total denial of scientific fact.
And he wants to run the NHS.
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please hurry up and run this country into the ground, I have 200 euro in cash and wish to buy property in London
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my brother and I did not consult each other before getting dressed for our family Christmas dinner
one word to describe us? I'd go with "festive"
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not usually in the business of cloying, emotional stuff but I've basically been crying hysterically on and off for the past few hours
I'm French and I've not been able to see a single person I'm related to for well over a year; I had tickets booked for the end of this month
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Nadhim Zahawi
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good morning, I am still very mad I'm being made to pay £65 to be able to keep the rights I was told I would always have when I moved to Britain and without which I probably wouldn't have moved to Britain
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it remains maddening that it is 2019 and there is still no app/browser add-on that allows me to give like 50p to a publication to lift the paywall on one specific piece, please let me pay you in exchange for journalism I want to read
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oh, get fucked
For a lot of ppl on here, Justice Kavanaugh’s sin appears to be that he’s a white man
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don't like the angle on this at all, without sound it feels like I'm being held captive and my tormentor has come into the room to explain his evil plan in great detail
I’m so proud of this country and I can’t wait for 2023.
Happy New Year! 🇬🇧
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a man in the street just wished me good luck because he thought I was wearing a hospital wristband and I didn't have the heart to tell him that it's even worse, it's for the Lib Dem Disco
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mental thing to tweet, this
We are a reasonable country, but our patience has now run out.
Our Parliament is sovereign, and it should be able to make decisions that cannot be undone in our courts.
That’s what this emergency legislation delivers.
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fingers crossed that one day they'll invent journalism for girls
🚨 Starting now, our
#ThinkTent23
panel on the future of journalism and digital platforms.
🗣️
@matthewlesh
|
@JWhittingdale
|
@mattwarman
|
@mjhsinclair
| David Matthew |
@OwenMeredithNMA
Join us in the ThinkTent or follow along live 👇
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there is something so profoundly and deeply odd about what would have been a fun but niche online meme even only a few years ago now automatically going so mainstream that the literal Prime Minister ended up taking part in it, all the internet barriers have fallen down
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oh jesus fucking christ, FINE, I've deleted my perfectly fine joke, the world breathes a sigh of relief as men with beards looking like braided pubes are no longer being discriminated against and "bin raccoon" officially becomes beyond the pale, well done to all involved
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I think we can collectively agree that working parents of young kids have it the hardest right now but christ I'd like to make a case for people living alone coming second, I'm nearly on week 6 of isolation now and I'm just so hysterically tired of my own company
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some personal news!
following the absolute joy of the Euros and the complete tedium of the ongoing pandemic, I have decided to watch the Premier League for one (1) season
the team I have picked is Leeds United
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why not simply let trans people live dignified, normal, happy lives
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live your life with the confidence of the woman who just stopped me in the street to ask me for a cigarette while smoking a cigarette
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good time to remember that Rishi was originally appointed as Chancellor by Boris because he wanted a pliable nobody so No10 could essentially just run the Treasury
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if someone out there feels like they need the engagement I reckon there's a way of doing a "Scotland / England / Wales / Northern Ireland" version of this that annoys absolutely everyone
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on a brief serious note - I've received hundreds of tweets from gender critical people today and dozens of those were accusing me of being a handmaiden, of trying to get the attention of men, of not being a feminist, and so on
to set the record straight:
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oh please, get fucked
EU migrants have been able to “treat the UK as if it’s part of their own country” for too long, Boris Johnson said yesterday as he reprised the core message of Vote Leave’s 2016 EU referendum campaign.
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advice to numerous women who wanted to take action against their abusive bosses and colleagues in politics
I could go on
I'm a woman and a member of the LGBT community and I stand by trans people; you can disagree with that, but you *cannot* tell me I'm not a feminist
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the meme potential of this image is nearly overwhelming
Challenged a few of my fellow foreign ministers to navigate the Chevening maze in the rain...by comparison to which Brexit discussions seem more straightforward
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sorry I just can't let this go, how can Nick Fletcher go on about the lack of positive male role models mere months after the country united around the loveliest, most decent and inspirational football team
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NOT NOW BELGIUM
It’s looking increasingly likely the Belgian government doesn’t make it to the end of the week.
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I like this as a weirdly ballsy move because the subtext is effectively "I, your leader, am shit at elections and you and I both know this"
Tomorrow's front page: Back me or we hold an election, PM told rebels
#tomorrowspaperstoday
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what I fear Gen Z will never understand if they don't drink is that there's a level of inner peace you can only gain after having had a long frustrating day of work followed by precisely three drinks with friends, it's a form of zen only otherwise reached though firm religion
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still can't believe my holiday to Shanghai got cancelled due to coronavirus so instead I treated myself to some plane tickets for a week in northern Italy next month, simply fuck my life
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both extremely angry about the tree and, in an odd way, very touched by the number of people who are also very angry about the tree, had never even been to visit the tree but there's something so deeply human about instictively going NO, not The Special Tree
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the worst babies are the ones on buses who stare at you but don't smile when you pull silly faces at them. what do you want from me, you tiny crank
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murdered by her own mother, right here on the timeline
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went to the Italian deli for lunch earlier and the owner gave me half a slice of ham to munch on while waiting for my sandwich to get toasted, this is what I look for in a man
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dedicating today to the French girl who loves prawns and so asked to go trick or treating a fishmongers
Ma fille cette championne. Elle est passée devant la poissonnerie. Y avait pas de bonbons. Elle adore les crevettes. Elle a dit ''des crevettes ou un sort ?''.
Elle est repartie avec ses crevettes. Elle a kiffé 😂. Je l'adore. ♥️
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I personally love travelling specifically between Birmingham and London zone 3 so this is a great day for me
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maybe it's because I'm a foreigner but I don't see why anyone is losing their shit over this, it's just an entirely fair thing to say and so many people on the UK side have said so many worse things about the EU
I've been wondering what that special place in hell looks like, for those who promoted
#Brexit
, without even a sketch of a plan how to carry it out safely.
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okay so trans people should not live as themselves, gay men should not have kids, bisexual people don't really exist, anything else we should add to the sins of LGBT people, as listed by people who somehow want to still be described as progressives?
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