anon_opin 😡🗯
@anon_opin
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Anonymous, occasionally unpopular, often niche opinions written by YOU. Edited by @robmanuel
B3ta.com
Joined June 2018
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Anon_Opin posts 15 anonymous opinions a day taken from your submissions to a Google form.
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Made by
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20
Much as I love Skyfall, the bit where Bond drives M to Scotland in his Aston Martin DB5 is very short on detail - in one scene they're in Chelsea, the next in the Highlands. You don't see them having a Burger King in Charnock Richard, or Wetherby Services if they'd taken the A1.
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Day time drinking should be normalised. Who the fuck wants to go out at 8 and stay up till 3am getting pissed. Start at 12 be shitfaced by 7, kebab, hit the sack at 8 and then you've not wasted the entire following day with a hangover in bed.
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Outside looking in, the UK is a failing state circling the drain. I really don't understand why the people of Britain aren't rioting. There is so much corruption in power, so much failing infrastructure, but the people just sit there and take it like they're sedated. Bizarre.
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Not a single fucking thing in Britain is better than it was 13 years ago.
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Everyone who had to work through lockdown should be given a three month paid holiday at a time of their choosing to make up for it
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Elf on a shelf, Black Friday, Gender Reveal Parties; all these nasty wee American 'traditions' have no place this side of the Atlantic and should kindly fuck right off
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Bars should have a separate cocktail area. I don't want to be queuing for 10 mins for a pint whilst the barman is playing maracas with your Woo Woo.
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The best way to fix Britain? Ban public schools and private health care. If everyone- including those in charge - had to use comprehensive schools and the NHS they'd make damn sure they were the best around. As only us peasants use them they don't currently give a shit.
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I'm all for cycling as a form of commuting but in Europe people use normal bikes, dress in normal clothes, and obey the rules of the road. Only in Britain does Adam from Accounts dress in head to toe lycra and treat the Chiswick road as a fucking Tour de France special stage.
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Helium should not be sold for balloons. It's insane. It's literally a finite resource which is irreplaceable for lifesaving medical equpt - but sure - your 1yo snotface NEEDS a helium filled Peppa Pig for their birthday which they'll never remember.
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I've never met anyone with this same opinion but I think the BBC licence is great value for money. My son loves CBeebies, I love 6 Music and the Sounds app is full of great podcasts. Really don't see why others don't see it.
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If you can afford a tablet for your toddler to have on a plane you can afford to buy some fucking headphones to go with it.
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I reckon most people couldn't care less about stopping the boats but would vote immediately for any government who SORT THE FUCKING TRAINS OUT
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Every middle aged man just wants to be left alone. You cannot fathom how strong that desire is. To fulfill our basic obligations and then for the rest of the world to fuck off. Quite happy in our own company thanks. We dream of just being left alone.
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One of the biggest scams we just accept is hotel stays not being 24 hours. If I check in at 3pm, that's when I should be allowed to check out.
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Greggs doesn't get enough criticism for the fact that it obliterated traditional bakeries. The food is also mass produced shite that's cooked/often cremated from frozen. I don't understand why it's so loved. If you still have a proper bakery nearby - use them instead.
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In an era when almost all household bills are online, demanding a physical utility bill as proof of address is fucking ridiculous.
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Britain was utopia from 1997 to 2008. Then a global economic crash started in America and Britain thought it was the government's fault and put the Tories back in. And that's where it all went wrong. Change my mind in the replies.
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In response to your current ads Travelodge, yes I would love to stay in a hotel after a gig rather than drive home, so perhaps you could help by not putting the price up from £50 a night to £200 whenever there's a gig at a venue near one of your shitty hotels?
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Should we keep calling it Twitter for ever just to annoy him?
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The 'threat to the British way of life' isn't coming from people arriving in small boats, but from people arriving in private jets to hoover up luxury property, buy your media and manipulate your government. But carry on shouting at dinghies, assholes.
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If the salary was genuinely competitive you'd include it in the job advert
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Disposable vapes need to banned. I'm not allowed to use a plastic straw incase I kill a sea turtle, but these are getting dumped in the thousands so some useless cunt can suck in pineapple flavoured chemicals.
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Murder and attempted murder should get the exact same time in prison. You shouldn't get less time inside just because you're shit at murdering.
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Why are all these horrible new build estates not required by law to have all the houses fitted with solar panels and heat pumps as standard? Seems a pretty easy and basic 'green' option if the government was serious about tackling climate change etc.
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My scanner should not be demanding software updates. I want it to do one job - scan paper. The same thing I needed scanners to do 10 years ago. No improvement needed. Does my toaster need updates? No. It knows its job. Just scan you bastard.
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I earn £65k a year and am now struggling to pay for a small 3 bed and my wife and son. I have no idea how anyone on an average salary can afford to live anymore. The Tories have absolutely fucked this country.
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Dennis isn't a menace, he's just probably got ADHD. Gnasher, on the other hand, should be destroyed as per the Dangerous Dogs Act.
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Exams are a ridiculous way to assess people's ability. At no point in your working life will you be locked in a room with no access to information or technology, and be expected to come up with comprehensive answers to complex questions.
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Members of Parliament salary should be attendance related. No show, no money. If their attendance falls below a certain level, they should forfeit their seat and not be allowed to contend the by-election.
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I wish we vilified "absentee fathers" instead of "single mothers" because how is the parent who stayed the problem?
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Biggest scam that hasn't been highlighted is the cooking time of oven chips. Got to be on for at least 45mins. Packaging says 20mins.
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The person at Coca Cola- Schweppes who decided to attach the bottle tops to the bottles deserves a life alone and unloved, shunned by others, to give them sufficient time to think about what they have done.
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Almost no one in Britain has a fucking clue how anything works. Elections. Taxation. Parliaments. Councils. Police. Most people don't have a scooby about the rules for any of them. That's what won the EU vote for Leave. Proper civics lessons in schools are desperately needed.
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All cars should have physical controls - using a touch screen to change the heating is just as dangerous as using your phone to change tracks on Spotify. Bring back big buttons, dials, and sliders.
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In 30 years of working the only improvement is working from home. Better family life, no commute, fewer vehicles on the road, less stress, a fortune saved in lunches and parking. Anyone against it is pure evil.
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Work hard at school, good grades, high achiever, uni, good job, work your arse off, climb the ladder, high earner, pay a shit-ton of tax. Realise too late that none of this will ever get you anywhere near those who stroll through life on generational wealth. The system is rigged.
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The Bermuda Triangle has had considerably less of an effect on my life than I envisaged as a child in 1980s rural Lancashire.
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These new Coke bottles with the lid attached are not only a pain in the arse but a terrible idea. I work in a recycling plant and they are different plastics so need to be separated anyway
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After trying to colonise half of the world, British people have no right to moan about high levels of immigration.
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If I can subscribe online, I should be able to cancel online. No phoning or going somewhere physically. It should be illegal.
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Society needs to normalise going to the cinema on your own. You're sat in silence for 2-3 hours anyway, so you don't exactly need company.
270
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I don't get the hype over chicken wings. There's fuck all meat on them, make a mess of your hands and the sauce is usually shit
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I don't think your life has to have a purpose or a grand ambition. I think it's ok to just wander through life finding interesting things until you die.
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Sure, some people commit benefit fraud. And sure, it's despicable. But the amount of money lost to it is a drop in the ocean compared to what's lost to corporate tax evasion. Focus on the greater enemy
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Using a phone whilst driving is dangerous & rightly leads to a fine & points. But touchscreen controls built into cars like Volvos & Teslas are just as dangerous yet are apparently fine? 10 secs to look away & jab at a screen just to turn up the heating is ridiculous.
141
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February the 29th should be a bank holiday. Why the fuck should I work an extra day for no more salary?
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Only the UK could make a megastar out of Robbie Williams, a Butlins redcoat who got lucky. Say what you want about the Yanks, but they took one look and said "you've got to be fucking kidding me". Which was, is, and always will be, the only correct reaction.
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One way to start fixing this country - Get rid of career politicians. Make a teacher the education minister. Give a health professional the job of health minister.
153
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The only homework children should have to do is reading. If the curriculum can't be taught within the school day then it's too much. Children should be able to relax at home rather than doing useless maths equations they will never use in the real world.
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House sellers should have to pay for the survey rather than house buyers. It should be the sellers responsibility to verify they're selling a house in good nick and price it accordingly, not on what you think it's worth before it's condition is known.
162
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People who try to forcibly drag introverts onto the dance floor at a wedding are heartless cunts.
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4K
We should have national service in the UK when we turn 40. But not in the army, god no. A year for everyone doing basic tasks in the NHS, care system, emergency services or teaching to truly give back to the nation
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One of the worst things to happen to society in the last 30 years has been the normalisation of gambling. We should go back to there being no advertising of it on TV and the shops having opaque windows, making it look like the seedy pastime that it is.
127
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Paracetamol/Ibuprofen packets should have something on them to say which of the two flaps to open - I feel a disproportionate sadness when I open from the wrong side and see the instruction manual folded over the tablets
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It should be made illegal to say that "inflation is falling", unless the figure is actually a negative %. If it's a positive % then prices are still rising, albeit the rate of increase may have changed.The reporting of this is completely screwed.
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If King Charles was to pop his clogs in the near future we should have an interim King to bring back the feel good factor. I would suggest Bob Mortimer. Everyone would love him. He would be great.
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A 4 day week would do a lot to help everyone's mental health. Sometimes you just need a break and 52 extra days to yourself a year to do what you want would improve everyone's lives.
107
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3K
No, you don't need that gopping non-descript 4x4. You do the school run, go to Tesco and see the in-laws on a Saturday, you're not invading France. How about something that's cheaper to fuel and insure, better to drive, probably quicker and kinder to the polar bears instead?
203
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Worked with the general public for 40 years and I can confidently assert that 1/3 of people are as thick as shit, 1/3 are nasty pieces of work and 1/3 half sensible and decent. The problem isn't politicians, twitter or right wing newspapers. The problem is people.
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There should be two separate queues in pubs - one for people who just want a simple pint, and one for people who want fancy-arse cocktails that take ages to mix.
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The homebuying process is basically a circle jerk for solicitors. There's no need for it to be so slow and antiquated, it should be computerised and happen within minutes
107
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3K
'Child free' weddings are bullshit. If my kids aren't allowed then I'm not going either. No one in my family is a second class citizen.
955
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HR is not your friend, it's only there to protect the company from lawsuits.
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Whichever management consultant broke McDonald's 'fast food' model, I hate you.
Years ago you'd walk in, pay and before you got your change your food was placed on a tray in front of you.
Now you have to wait 15 minutes, even if it's just a Big Mac. Bullshit that is.
198
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3K
People trying to belittle Carol Vorderman by reminding us she was a Tory. But that's exactly why we should be listening to her. The fact that one of their own is so appalled by the corruption and incompetence that she started campaigning against them tells all you need to know
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The RNLI should name all their lifeboats after racists, "today the lifeboats Nigel Farage and Suella Braverman rescued 10 migrants from drowning in the English Channel"
31
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At this point I'm convinced that the best way to avoid getting murdered is to not be the type of person who "would do anything for anybody" and "lights up every room they walk into." That seems to be a lethal combo.
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Surge pricing should be banned, if a hotel room near a venue or stadium is £50 on a normal weeknight then it's completely unacceptable for it to be £300 just because Taylor Swift or another popular artist is in town.
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I think national service should be brought back, but instead of being drafted into the military, you should spend a year working in retail or customer service. It'll humble you real quick and make you think twice about treating service workers like shit in the future.
73
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It's a travesty that the RNLI is not centrally funded as the true 4th emergency service.
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Whenever I hear anyone saying something along the lines of 'comedians are meant to offend people' I think of Bob Mortimer. The funniest person alive who has managed to never piss anyone off, ever.
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Through the scrapping of generous pension schemes, the failure to burst the house price bubble and Brexit, it is hard to imagine a nation - outside wartime - which has so fundamentally screwed it's younger generation as Britain has in the last 30 years.
73
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Football's annoying new breed of stats 'analysts' have no idea how ridiculous they sound. Defending deep is now, according to them, 'a low block'. Dribbling is now 'progressive ball carrying'. Shut up, wankers.
158
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Manufacturers of Phillips screw heads - have you thought of making them from metal instead of cheese?
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People who are always late, it is not an endearing quality of a scatterbrained person. Its rude to waste other's time and also implies your time is more important than punctual people. Or considering timekeeping is a everyday skill it show a level of incompetence to never learn.
133
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3K
Interviewing for jobs is an entirely separate skill that has fuck all to do with your ability to do said job.
55
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Nobody who's ever criticised Martin Lewis has been right. He's the most principled and clear thinking person in Britain, and if you think you've spotted a hole in something he's said, you're almost certainly wrong.
87
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The format of every company away/team day. Split off into groups, write down some buzzword ideas on post it notes, stick them up on a big bit of paper with all the other groups, read yours out to the room. It's such a colossal waste of time on this Earth.
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It's been 30 years since I first watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and I still feel pissed off for Charlie Bucket's mum, who having endlessly waited on Grandpa Joe for years, watches him dance out of bed and piss off to a chocolate factory.
30
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Only actual hard people should be allowed tattoos. It used to be a reliable social indicator of who you shouldn't mess with. Now that Graeme from the Finance team has a half sleeve of tribal ink the system is all messed up.
107
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If a bunch of kids from south London went around hunting urban foxes they'd be rightly called out and likely arrested. But apparently if they live near a field, wear posh clothes and ride a horse it's 'tradition' and is fine.
38
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If a person has the tenacity and drive to get to the UK in a tiny boat, they should be welcomed and given a job. They are clearly enterprising and determined
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There should be a ban on the general sale of fireworks. Should only be obtainable if you have a licence and are running an officially sanctioned event.
98
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If everyone in the UK spent one winter studying history, sociology, and political economy of the UK at roughly degree level, and learned how this country actually works, there would be an armed uprising and revolution by summer.
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The simple, petty, pleasure of driving a couple of mph below the speed limit when someone drives right up your arse cannot be understated.
80
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Lorry drivers: when another lorry is overtaking you, take your foot of the accelerator and drop a few MPH so that the process is quicker and safer.
99
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The news should stop saying inflation has "fallen". The correct phrase is "slowed". Saying that it's fallen implies to the thick UK public that prices are falling. But they aren't. Even if inflation has "fallen" to 4.5%, prices are still increasing by 4.5%.
53
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Bagels should be sold pre-sliced - no one's ever eaten one without slicing it first so why are Warburtons/New York Bakery making me use a massive knife first thing in the morning when I'm half asleep?! Sort it out or I'm going back to toast.
100
70
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Even the motorways have pot holes now. I should not be having to dodge the pots at 70mph. Absolute joke of a country.
70
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The only Airbnb's that should be allowed are the spare rooms of someone's home. Buying properties just to rent them out short-term is driving up house prices and destroying communities
78
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After Life is the most overrated pile of mawkish toss ever written. A series of increasingly clichéd and self-indulgent scenes where the main character just spouts Ricky Gervais' own long-spoken views on atheism etc. Baffling that it was hailed as some kind of masterpiece.
229
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Homeless people should be entitled to free temporary homes, to help them get off their feet, find a job, and eventually be able to afford to rent their own place. This is already policy in Scandinavia and it works very well to reduce homelessness while increasing the workforce.
95
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If you were born in America and lived your whole life in America you're not Irish.
84
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My mortgage is about to go up by about 300 quid a month. I think all Tory voters should do a whip-round to pay the difference for me since it's their fucking fault.
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People should have to reach 18 before being allowed to choose a religion, it's essentially brain washing to force this crap on vulnerable minds.
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