The Nels
@TheNels
Followers
583
Following
493K
Media
5K
Statuses
30K
Pro Science, Pro Choice, Pro Wrestling
Joined March 2009
Tupac should be alive doing beer commercials and family comedy movies.
4
1
38
A Dodgers/Yankees World Series was the best possible outcome for MLB and the worst possible outcome for anyone who actually likes baseball.
1K
3K
42K
This is the meanest thing this woman could possibly say to you, and no insult would devastate me more.
@avispartan1 That is not at all what Iām advocating for - what an uncharitable misreading.
2
127
5K
@Parkerlawyer In college I dated a girl for 3 years. It was a rocky relationship and she ended up leaving me for someone else.
26
38
5K
@MattWalshBlog @AOC Not pictured: Walsh having to google 'abuela' to find out it means grandmother in Spanish.
83
42
4K
@nick_field90 Also Biden will get to honor him instead of whatever garbage Trump would spew. Carter truly picked his spot.
16
13
4K
@Roseblite2 @micah_erfan There's nothing more embarrassing than someone thinking they have a big brained answer and instead just looking like a complete idiot. Just a failure on every possible level. And to do it with a meme on top of it, woof.
7
17
4K
@InternetHippo Both of those things will 100% happen. And if the Dem message isn't "it'll cost you $400 a month to have a Republican president" then they truly missed the easiest layup in history.
14
78
3K
@michelletandler I'm not:.- getting up an hour earlier.- spending money on gas.- adding wear and tear to my car.- getting home an hour later. To do the exact same job I can do from the comfort of my home.
18
67
2K
@Srirachachau They can't even argue semantics like usual. He's said those exact words many, many times.
3
21
2K
@weirddalle Love that it even explains what top 93% means in full detail and she still missed it.
1
0
2K
@NeilBahadur Top tier example that touchy subjects can still be funny. You just have to be. you know. funny.
1
3
2K
@FCardamenis "Kenneth who do you vote for?". "Oh choosing is a sin so I just write in the lord's name". "No that's Republican, we count those".
2
23
1K
1
1
1K
@danielleweisber That's pretty close to when the whole "vaccines cause autism" thing started isn't it?.
3
4
995
@LolOverruled These videos are funny (in a sad way) because there's always 5+ cops who look like they have no idea why they are there.
4
5
919
@BigDamnHerosSir I'm a straight white dude so i probably qualify as his definition of "normal"
15
20
742
@tenner_david @KennyK089 Ok. but her first guess was 'hat' even though there was already an H and a T on the board.
3
2
709
@BidensBuddy2020 @quadcarl_carl "He's going to make things cheaper by lowering costs" isn't an answer.
4
1
720
@Tania_The_Hun @DevilMantis11 @OrinocoBlow @LucaGuadagnegro @azealiaslacewig You're not intelligent either.
1
0
724
@bekahboo1290 @Parkerlawyer Actually is. I learned some hard lessons from that relationship and was able to become a better partner in the future. Been happily married for 8 years now (to someone else).
5
0
683
@abughazalehkat Mayo was drafted by the Patriots, played his whole career with the Patriots, coached his whole career with the Patriots. So just as we expected, woke = black.
2
10
609
@CriminalUnionFW "It's unsafe to drive with a broken taillight. Here's a fine, now continue driving with that broken taillight with absolutely no follow up from me at all.".
3
10
557
@HannahPosted My "Hate Has No Home Here" sign has people asking questions already answered by my sign.
1
10
539
@Brittymigs The school where I got my MBA was a converted Catholic college that has since reverted BACK to a Catholic college so if anyone looks them up, it makes it look like I'm lying about getting an MBA
2
0
508
@ohJuliatweets Every tech innovation has a very brief sweet spot where it's the greatest thing. Then it almost immediately turns into a flaming bag of dog crap.
4
9
380
@ArmandDoma If you need more proof the "weird" thing worked, it's still getting under magas skin 4 months after an election they won.
4
2
443
@minndogmom Nah sorry. He caused MILLIONS of people to suffer and die just to line his pockets. He doesn't get a pass bc he had a family.
23
10
405
@pttrn_ntgrty @parlertakes If white supremacists had their way and only white people were around, they'd still continue to divide and discriminate. I have no doubt that redheads would be the first to go.
13
8
343
@JoshuaPHilll The Who's came together as a community to rehabilitate and welcome The Grinch. NYPD immediately arrested him.
1
10
357
@ThatSportsGuyUK Can't because the NFL successfully marketed their entire league and 100m people watch the Super Bowl no matter who is in it.
15
4
391
@averageuser456 @70Ceeks If you think this is the only mess Trump made that Biden has had to clean up, I've got some bad news for you.
1
0
368
@MandoUnchained @Variety So it's perfect fine to profit off of denying someone cancer treatment?.
1
0
371
@hellotorifletch We're not far away from people throwing 2000s Parties and showing up in frosted tips with Beautiful Day blasting on a JVC Boombox.
8
2
330
@SeanRossSapp I did fan fest security for WM31. I'm decent size, 6'2"/200. Harper comes out to go to his autograph signing, dwarfs me, 6'8"/290 easy. LH: You taking me out there?. Me (puffing out my chest a little): Yup I got you. LH: Good while they're kicking your ass I'll make my getaway.
0
4
323
@theoceanblooms The corrupt judge dismantling public transit to build a freeway through a minority neighborhood hits a little too close to home though.
5
14
269
@thunderxstorm07 @CupcakeGoth A company is 1000x more likely to put your resume in ChatGPT than print it out on off white paper.
2
0
280
@FPWellman @AndrewRoseSC Yup. Actual vaccination card from a real vet. This guy is full of it
3
7
224
@leahmcelrath I could write a thousand stories and not come up with a villain's name as good as Harlan Crow.
3
8
226
@____B_S____ That's how we chose Ruth. Not only was she the oldest in the kennel but she had been there the longest as well. Gave her a warm & happy home for her last couple years š¶
6
2
246
@kguardkeat @ThiccStauskas If the first thought that popped in your head was "sexualizing children", you've got a lot bigger problems than what stores are putting on the top shelf.
1
0
256
@slate_s42 A+ PPV and we didn't even see. Bianca.Becky.Gunther.Drew.Sheamus .Charlotte .Bayley.Cody.
0
5
250
@Iamawesome169 @RealHousewifeMi @Linda_McMahon @KimReynoldsIA You're getting example after example and absolutely melting down instead of just admitting you were mistaken like an adult. What a loser.
1
4
265
@MattWalshBlog I don't get why you don't like doing laundry. Separating colors seems right up your alley.
2
1
234
@akparker @RachelBitecofer @elonmusk Literally none of these ideas stop high powered winds. Are you a fucking idiot? Do you not know how to read?.
28
3
252
@th0usandw0rd @proustmalone @steveplotnicki There is absolutely zero chance a multi billion dollar company is closing stores due to theft. They would have to be losing $100k of merchandise a day.
2
0
240
@braxisgremlin @KatyMontgomerie Trying to broaden the accepted definition of bigot so the fact that you're a bigot doesn't seem so bad.
1
2
241