Melissa Cole
@MelissaCole
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Following
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Media
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Beer hack/International beer judge of mystery/Bad cricketer, worse fisher/Order my new book here or
London/Zoom/Pub
Joined May 2008
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Pinned Tweet
MOOD: Annoyed.
Stop sticking cans of beer in chickens!
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Good morning to every England ‘fan’ mocking a crying little German girl last night, this one’s for you.
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Good luck today everyone in the pub trade & restaurant industry.
Everyone going to the pub, be nice, keep your distance, wash your hands and, as ever, don’t be a dick!
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Spent the day making a beef shin & blue cheese, herbed suet pud. Also made a sour beer & orange juice savoury caramel for the tiny shallots and wild mushrooms that also went in the mix. Gravy made from excess cooking liquor from stew. 🥰
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I HAVE A COPY OF MY NEW BOOK AND IT IS SO CUTE I WANT TO DIE! (And can we all just accept that I'm horrible at taking selfies please?)
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PALS, PALS IT IS HERE! MY COPY IS HERE AND IT’S BEAUTIFUL AND I’VE CRIED THREE TIMES AND I CAN’T WAIT TO SHARE IT WITH YOU!
Thank you
@hardiegrantuk
@kj_mistry
@patricianiven
@kordalisk
@notonsunday
@Ollie_Jarman
@_steveryan_
😘😘😘
#thebeerkitchen
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Brewdog Pink IPA came from a good place from women inside the business.
The problem is:
a) Argh. Pink. No.
b) If you have to explain it, it’s already backfired
c) Any initiative like this from BD is going to be greeted with epic scepticism given history of hyper-macho stunts.
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NEWS THREAD! So, had a bit of a week last week, stolen dogs (no sign sadly), finding out my flat needs fully re-wiring & displacing a rib (🤢).
BUT I have some happy news... I also soft launched this beauty
@MatchboxSe1
@boroughmarket
(behind
@Rakebar
) which I part own! 😱
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Having sat out last year’s
@gbbf
due to instances of sexism & the beer being truly awful in 2017, yesterday was one hell of a turnaround in my experience.
Banning discriminatory branding, staff wearing rainbow lanyards & good cask beer quality, well done
@GBBFOrganiser
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Just… terrifying.
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When you’ve taken £200m+ from a private equity fund that will put significantly more pressure on you to squeeze every last drop of profit (and also owns one of the most cynically marketed beer brands in Pabst) but still manage to find a ladder high enough for that horse 🙄
We will no longer be selling Beavertown beers or attending Beaver Ex. I wrote this piece in 2015 but it seems very relevant today too
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*EXCITING/TERRIFYING ANNOUNCEMENT KLAXON*
Sooo, you know there are always a few food & beer pics kicking around on my timeline, well I’ve kinda done a thing...
The Beer Kitchen: the art & science of cooking, & pairing, with beer will be out in October.
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Ok, so tonight we launched this, please take a few minutes to read it and maybe hang it in your bar/restaurant/festival/bottle shop - thanks x
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@janinegibson
@helenlewis
The only rational reason for this picture is that her clothes spontaneously combusted and Liz Hurley happened to be passing on her way to a charity shop.
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Sod
#womenboycottwitter
I've been silenced by misogyny far too much to now do it voluntarily. EVERYONE should shout louder against sexism.
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Whatevs
Alcohol is ‘unhelpful coping strategy’ for coronavirus lockdown, WHO says
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As Pratchett once said: 'It's like a wasp landing on a nettle, someone is going to get stung and you don't mind who'
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Ok, I can trust you lot with a secret right?
I’ve brushed off my investigative journalism skills and, please don’t tell anyone, but I’ve got a MASSIVE exposé coming up on certain Scottish brewer’s blatant lies.
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SERIOUSLY? FUCK THIS IN THE FUCKING EYE
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It’s like Brewdog and Fourpure collided in a branding machine.
The name of Aldi's take on Brewdog Punk IPA is legendary!
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Morning! Bit of news...
A warm welcome to
@MelissaCole
, who joins our team as Brewers Eye Global Brand Ambassador! 🥳
With 21 years in the industry, award-winning journalist Melissa is widely acknowledged as one of the UK’s leading beer experts, as well as being a strong advocate for equality in beer.
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Gotta love it when the universe makes sure sexist dickheads get their comeuppance, just moved carriages due to some idiot boasting how the ‘9/10 train manager’ was letting him sit in 1st class ‘cos ‘she wants my dick’ & then hearing him be removed by said train manager 😂
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This is why I laugh hollowly when pub companies like
@punchpubs
talk about their passion for pubs, this is an utter travesty and shows exactly how utterly toothless the moves to remove the tie have proven. Punch, your business disgusts me.
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@lfwons_eka
This will gain traction because, well, it’s an easy mark. But, looking at the bio and the fact it’s the only tweet please, please don’t get sucked in.
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On
#IWD2018
I’d like to raise a glass to everyone who is working to improve gender equality the world over but especially to the women working in & around the beer industry.
Cheers to all you intelligent, capable and brilliant women, you inspire me every day.
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Ok, who wants to make a red ale with me, a percentage of the profits going to
@bloodygood__
called ‘Particular Curvature’?
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Hey
@CocaCola
@MolsonCoors
what on EARTH are you thinking calling a drink spiked?!
How did this make it to market without someone pointing out it is deeply inappropriate?
One in nine women have reported their drinks being spiked & 1/5 of spiking victims are men. Be better.
Beverage giants Coca-Cola and Molson Coors are teaming up once again, this time on a range of 5% ABV ready-to-drink (RTD) Simply spiked lemonades.
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Someone has just brought my attention to the litany of tweets people have sent challenging the horrible behaviour I’ve been dealing with, and I’m genuinely moved.
I appreciate you all so very much and, more importantly, I appreciate this is made so unwelcome in UK beer.
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Get yourself someone who looks at a string of sausages like this 🤣
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If you’re criticising Brewdog for doing this, it’s not the hill I’d suggest you want to die on. This is a good thing to do, lots of other distillers are too, including LVMH in France.
Just to be clear, we will not be selling the sanitiser. But giving it away to those who need it.
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Be nice to your couriers and delivery folks today (I mean, you should be anyway), in the last few weeks we’ve had deliveries just before 7am and today was a record-breaking 6.25am, these folks are working insane hours to get us our stuff, for very little money in a lot of cases.
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Hi Fireforge, our tits are not your marketing tool, you antediluvian twerps
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Before you lose your shit over CW today, ask yourself:
What have you done to ACTIVELY support Black, Indian or Queer-owned breweries?
If the answer is nothing, you don't get a say, no really, you don't, because you aren't the future of craft beer, you're just another gatekeeper
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Dear everyone in the pub, restaurant, hotel & hospitality business,
Can you please mark one flask ‘coffee’ and one flask ‘tea’ & teach staff that never, I MEAN NEVER, the twain shall meet.
You can never clean them properly, just segregate them.
Yours,
A Tea Drinker
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Some bittersweet news.
We’re delighted to have Jess back as the result of a
@bedspolice
police operation, for which we are very grateful, but Tig is still gone.
I know you have all been behind us on this, so thank you too, and forgive me if I don’t get to all comments.
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@Campaignmag
@graemedouglas
Read that tweet again, then again, until it sinks in. You have, quite literally, put a racist on your cover and, by doing so, legitimised him. This isn’t edgy, or investigative, it’s a cover that’s celebratory and you had no need to make this unethical editorial decision.
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OH. MY. GOD.
THE HYPOCRISY!
'Punk' Brewdog boss James Watt owns Heineken shares
Disclosure: The Truth about Brewdog is on BBC One Scotland on Monday 24 January at 19:00 and afterwards on the iPlayer.
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To detract from the fact that nearly all of you are MONSTERS for liking mulled beer, today is Black Friday for the pub trade so:
1) Be nice & tip the staff
2) People are NOT required to drink alcohol, they don’t owe you an explanation
3) Friends keep friends hydrated
4) Be safe
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Well, this is fun, I've just received a threatening message on Instagram saying that if I don't take this down, they'll unleash their mass block measures against me and seek to get my account removed and publish negative articles about me...
@X
@InstagramComms
@instagram
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It's really exciting to have a regular spot in
@TelegraphFood
pairing beer and food, it feels like the tide is slowly turning at last!
We are always a massive fan of our Peckham Rye, Red Ale which coincidentally
@MelissaCole
chose as an ideal beer pairing for the trout, horseradish and baked potato recipe in last Saturday's Telegraph mag! Thanks Melissa 😆
#letsbeerpositive
🍻
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It's time again for that most evergreen of tweets...
Don't be a dick.
The industry has enough on its plate without you being blind drunk, or obnoxious, and don't forget to tip your staff.
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I have never had unpleasant Sainsburys delivery folk, today’s fella I haven’t seen in ages, first comment was ‘oooooh, nice new front door’ and then he said ‘oh, it’s you, the lady who drinks beer...’ Followed very quickly by ‘professionally, professionally I mean!’ 😂
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Ah, I see it’s time for ‘beer by influencer marketing’ again 🤦♀️
Misogyny ✔️
Irresponsible alcohol marketing statements ✔️
Faceless tits/arse with patronising messaging ✔️
Take a bow E1 Brew Co, you win today’s clown school marketing prize
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@SimplyNayFan
@Nick_Pettigrew
@tinyrebelbrewco
Oh my god! Is there? Really? Can you please spell it out in really simple words? I’m only a silly girl and I can’t parallel process major world events AND be annoyed about this kind of shitty behaviour in my industry, whatever will I do?
In other words, fuck off, dickhead.
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This is fucking horse shit: AROUSE-A?!
Fuck the pink
Fuck the concept that women need 'a beer'
Fuck everyone involved in this
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@davidnilsenbeer
Well, that’s some hardcore gatekeeping there. What if people don’t have the money? What if it doesn’t matter to them? What if they’re just enjoying their beer & want to share that with other folks? What if a beer newbie sees this & is somehow shamed by it? Why say this out loud?
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Is anyone else still hysterically giggling every time they see ‘Eat Out to Help Out’ because, lord, I just can’t stop!
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Somewhat jealous
@DaveGorman
has just put the argument against sexist branding in beer so pithily (abr.): “Craft brewers, if you’re naming a product that’s commercially available, don’t name it something that means when I Google it, I get eight pages of porn before I get to you.”
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RNLI thing has annoyed me: if you’re that bothered about where every penny in the pound of your money is going, read the annual report of every charity you give to. If you think it’s bad 2p of your £ goes to save lives overseas, but 98p doesn’t, maybe have a look at yourself too.
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I just woke up, this has set me up for the day 😁
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I’m shattered, kudos to everyone who stood up and spoke out, not just tonight but in the past and hopefully it empower folks who will in the future (am hearing there’s another barrage of awful stories about to come out from another country).
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I may* have passagg down to a fine art...
Woman next to me in the lounge starts playing videos out loud on her phone.
Me: I have a spare pair of headphones if you need them.
Her: No (closes phone and pouts)
*Nailed it
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For
#IWD2022
I’m doing nothing but amplifying other women & honest allies throughout the day.
But before I go…
Breweries: stop dealing with businesses that actively make life for women, and others, awful.
Drinkers: please check where you’re spending your money.
Cheers.
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When I was little I was nicknamed ‘barnacle bum’ on holiday because all my family saw of me for hours, as I snorkelled happily, was my polka dot bikini-clad butt sticking out of the water. Today I got to scuba dive on the Great Barrier Reef, stuff of dreams. 🐠🐟🐡
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BREWERIES! I really need press releases from you, it's got ridiculous now, I'm down to seven breweries that regularly send me stuff.
So, because I know it's not a skill a lot of you have in-house, here is a simple guide to writing a release
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So, this happened, and I am very relieved but still masking up and distancing from others until I am told otherwise by the medical experts.
NGL, my muscles ache but I’m not bed bound and some simple over-the -counter drugs are helping to alleviate the worst of it.
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Just deleted the Boris Alexander de Pfefel Johnson video because I was doing his work for him.
Whilst I’m here, may I remind you that a vote for him is a vote for: racism, homophobia, sexism & for someone willing to give a colleagues details to someone to beat up. TL;DR, a cunt.
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Blur cheese dweller,
Self-serving fella,
Thought to himself ‘oops I’ve got a lot of money’,
Let’s be a total Torrrrryyyyyyyy
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Signing out for a few days, I’m emotionally burnt out - too many stories being told to me in confidence & businesses close to my heart being accused.
To those speculating I’ve been part of a cover up for any of them, I mean this sincerely & from the heart, get fucked.
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I just want to say to all the incredible women in beer, food, publishing and my life in general, keep kicking arse and taking names.
I won’t be very online today, but I’d ask men to really read, listen to & watch what women are saying, not just on
#IWD2021
but year round.
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Remember everyone, don’t be a dick, it’s good life advice anyway, but particularly sound today.
Oh, and tip the staff.
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Screeeeeaaaam! It’s publication day folks 😱😍😱😍
Happy publication day to our brilliant authors!
@MelissaCole
#smithanddaughters
#meganhess
and Semra Haksever! You can find these books online and in good shops that sell books now!
#pubday
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Just fucking no Wiley Roots, and that goes for every brewer everywhere saying this.
Look up potassium sorbate, unlearn all the shit we’ve been fed about pasteurisation, be actual responsible adults, make beers, not fucking fruit scented hand grenades!
Seriously, grow up.
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TL;DR Brodog has become the exact thing it has always railed against, it’s a big embarrassing dad dance of a corporate beer co, that still thinks it’s ‘down with the kids’
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Just your friendly regular reminder, that the person who has to deal with BrewDog account has to read any abuse and yet has no power to change things.
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After 5 years of planning & a LOT of fun & drinks had together, me & Yvan at Brasserie de la Senne finally managed to make our collab, rye saison, secondary fermented with BDLS’s Bruxellensis 😍, I’m sure no one will mention the label... 😁 launching
@beermerchantsHW
Weds 8pm
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Made my mother in law a cake for her big birthday, combining her two favourite cakes in one - chocolate and coffee & walnut. Made coffee imperial stout cakes, nut liqueur ganache in middle, and a walnut flavoured buttercream icing, minor mishap on the journey but we got there 😁
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So, if you’re going to get a birthday present, then I guess exchanging on your flat sale and house purchase is a pretty good one, see you Friday East London! 🥳🍻🥳
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Honest to god this picture is so winter me...
- Big hair ✔️
- Beer t-shirt (says lager is life) ✔️
- Leather-ish jacket ✔️
- Mini skirt ✔️
- Beer ✔️
- Cheese ✔️
(if you want to listen then 29m 45s is about when to tune in but I do commend the whole show, it was a good ‘un)
Love beer? 🍺 Love food? 🍲 Expert
@MelissaCole
tells us the tastes and flavours to make for great combinations: 👉 📻
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I think I’ve met them all in Shoreditch
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Bitches I can do wing eyeliner, lipliner and my mascara flawlessly on any tube or train you like, I deserve a goddamn scooby snack, not the approbrium of some bunch of dudes who don’t understand this is actually excellent time management and a super power rolled into one
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@wigglesworth667
@MailSport
@StuartBroad8
I’m sorry but I can’t get on board with that idea. Winning sides stay on top because they are used to winning, and you win by playing the best people you have. Improve the pathway to Test cricket, don’t penalise the people who are excelling at it now.
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@NuclearTeeth
@mattlodder
This is a level of lack of self-awareness that I am truly in awe of.
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I would like to introduce you to the toastie of chilly, grey day, dreams: scamorza, n’duja and green spring onion tops 😍
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Hey folks, no comments or sympathy required but just FYI, I’m locking down my socials for a few days due to unpleasantness on other channels and I just don’t need the shit. I won’t be about much here either so if you need me email or call - back in a few days 😘
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If you were one of the no shows yesterday, if it was my venue I'd bar you for life unless you got in contact to explain.
People who do the whole 'book loads of places and only turn up to one' deserve life-long trouser weasels.
Remember everyone, don’t be a dick, it’s good life advice anyway, but particularly sound today.
Oh, and tip the staff.
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😊😊😊
We are thrilled to announce that the award-winning beer & food writer
@MelissaCole
is joining The Brewers Journal as contributing editor!
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I see Brodog has publicly shit on the floor and expects a pat on the head for it again 🙄
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I’m always alarmed at the amount of people who take potshots when I post non-alcoholic beers, please bear the below in mind.
A simple, free, kind, thing we can all do is never ask anyone who declines an alcoholic beverage for an explanation.
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That’s not a witch hunt, that’s heartfelt and needs to be read.
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Why can’t men have midlife crises quietly?
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I am dying with laughter at this thread, if only everyone standing for office did this, it’d be so much better!
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Beef ribs nearly ready, just added a couple of square of dark chocolate to the sauce 🥳
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Hi
@BBCBreakfast
this morning there were seven women and one man shown in your obesity package; the obesity rates are 66% in men & 57% in women. Women are already disproportionately body shamed, could you redress this imbalance in future please? Ta.
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It's my last day of isolation today. As someone double vaxxed and boosted, I'm unendingly grateful to the
#NHS
for the protection of these, as I have weathered fairly well thank god, especially as I'm mildly asthmatic & need my taste & smell for my job.
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With the impending announcement of restrictions being eased, maybe you could just give this a read, before you chose where to go out when you can...
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I want to be very, very clear, I would never make serious allegations against BrewDog without multiple written statements. The people involved are extremely scared and wish to remain anonymous but the stories all follow the same pattern.
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Finally got time to play with new toys... which I'll be needing for WRITING MY COOKING & PAIRING WITH BEER BOOK THAT'LL BE OUT NEXT YEAR! 😱
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Final flourish on the in-law family feast, a beery black pudding, sausage, chilli & sage ‘wreath’
#cookingwithbeer
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