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Mark Slater Profile
Mark Slater

@runtleywood

Followers
209
Following
286
Media
299
Statuses
5,589

Cycling, and looking for the humour of Twitter. investment banking, Oxford was another life 🙂

Surrey England
Joined May 2014
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
2 months
@laurakaykelly Last year I had to help give CPR for 25 minutes and use a defibrillator which luckily was close by on a friend. He’s made a full recovery. Doctor said survival rate is 10%, 50% with defib. I wonder if buying your own defibrillator (under £1,000) would be a good idea in your case?
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
2 years
@TBlighe @stats_feed It’s not meaningless, it’s data 🙄 What you want is more information in order to create context and make more comparisons which is reasonable but different
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
2 years
@seanmcd72 @Jarvis_Dupont Jarvis is a parody account 😂
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
10 months
@biologycounts It’s not just that he was allowed, he chose to do it 😖
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
18 days
@darrenmccaffrey I'm about to become 68 and yes I would. I never had to do national service, it ended way before I was born, but if I'd had to I wouldn't have whinged about it. I remember my father had quite happy memories of it
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
1 year
@DrAmirKhanGP Are none of these commenters following the news? An arrest has already been made, of another mosque-goer. This is not racially or religiously motivated
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
1 year
@ReduxxMag Sturgeon needs to resign, in disgrace. Her successor must pick up the pieces, take a stand, and fix this. The pendulum needs to swing the other way
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
2 months
@RefugeCharity By women, do you mean adult human females? Biological women?
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
6 months
@JohnWest_JAWS @BBCNews @SkyNews If it hadn't been him, I would have suggested parody. She's greatly missed though I did think I saw her down the chip shop once
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
1 year
@mariana057 Neither - you are missing an apostrophe - please be more professional, people notice
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
1 year
@Glinner @micomfestival That’s a lovely reply Graham - I hope they see this as a sign to make correct choices. I have great memories of seeing him live in Covent Garden in the 80’s. When I realise I’m wrong I change my mind - what will these guys do? No shame in a u-turn, it’s a sign of moral fortitude
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
3 months
@thomasthetaxi What’s the point of building that road for cars when there’s not a single car in it?
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
4 months
@KevlarKitten @TheFamousArtBR Can you furnish an example of someone wearing a T-shirt bearing the message wishing such a thing that you claim should be reflected back?
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
4 months
@Martina This can only ever be at the expense of and to the detriment of the women who should be occupying those space. Yes it would be bad
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
2 years
@loobie_lou_ @jimwaterson Do you know what Google is? 🙄
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
11 months
@neiljohnson1974 I’m seeing a lot of cars, maybe that has something to do with it? 🤔
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
1 year
@engineers_feed For those thinking 062, check out line three of the clues. Out of 2, 0 and 6, only two are correct so the answer cannot be 062. The answer is 042
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
4 months
@il0venostalgia I was a frequent passenger on Concorde back in the day. The thing I remember most was the acceleration on takeoff - really thrust back in your seat
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
1 year
@cjcheesecake So basically you’re just not going to bother tidying up
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
2 years
@truscotsman72 @RegretteRuane To be fair (and I don’t know how McD make their coffee) Americano only refers to coffee made by diluting an espresso. Coffee without milk made for example by filter or cafetière is just black coffee
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
1 year
@HarryMunk7 @Alex_Sashas @benhumphries13 The cyclist is clearly trying to avoid the car encroaching. I expect other bikes went past before and after the photo, you don’t see them because they are moving, unlike the cars. Clearly too many cars
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
4 months
@helenstaniland @SoupTransphobes Totally misses the irony of insulting an actual woman by comparing her to trans identifying men (with no justification I might add 🙂)
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
1 year
@HorusConsulting I joked with a phlebotomist a few years ago in Guildford when I volunteered for a trial. Turns out Tony Hancock was her godfather by virtue of John Le Mesurier being her uncle. He left her the rights to his jokes! @East_Cheam_Lad @TonyHancockAS
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
2 years
@CyclingInASkirt I was hit in February by a car doing 50mph (as, briefly, was I) which overtook me as I was turning right. Luckily a glancing blow - a foot the other way I’d be dead. I was back on my bike in a week. Thanks to Cycling UK the £5k compensation came today. I’m getting cameras
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
3 months
@ThePosieParker The UK is a beacon of hope in the western world in the fight against trans activism. Long may it continue
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
2 years
@EmoPhilips Reminds me of the old joke. Two bags of money in a German bank. One says to the other “I vant to be a loan”
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
1 year
@Jazzie654 Just plain mistaken 🙄 - think about it, laptops charge from a DC adaptor putting out 15-20 Volts. This chap has his units mixed up, he’s measuring VoltMetres. Next we’ll be told to stay away from walls because there actually are wires at 110/240 volts running through there
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
1 year
@engineers_feed Soylent Green - we just haven’t got there yet
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
10 months
@theJeremyVine Without motorists, there’d be no potholes
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
10 months
@KingBobIIV Just for clarity, they wouldn’t normally be expected to repay legal aid. This usually only happens in civil cases where there is a financial award, such as divorce. In fact it’s no longer available for divorce unless there is violence. Where interest is applied, it’s 8% per annum
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
3 months
@BubblyFarm @t87169956 Well that’s not going to work 😂😂
Tweet media one
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
4 months
@PTElephant @HazelAppleyard_ The trouble is women’s shelters are often forced to accept trans identifying males. Look at Scotland 🙄
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
4 months
@troonytoons @RoisinMichaux Surely that’s a wind-up
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
11 months
@SamanthaTaghoy Not to mention the conflicts between different Muslim groups, Hindu and Muslim, black and Hispanic, different African ethnic groups - such naïveté 🙄
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
1 year
@RupertMyers Clear case of Gross Misconduct (quite apart from the probable criminal offence) so no need for written warnings here, instant dismissal is warranted. #BoycottStarbucks
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
1 year
@RoryCWilliamson @stillgray That word - hate. Hate.
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
4 years
@richardosman Mind you, if the question had been ‘how’ do you call an elephant in an elevator, the answer would obviously be, you make a trunk call
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
2 years
@theJeremyVine Here it is on Tripadvisor if anyone would like to leave a review. I suggest phoning the hotel first to ask them to move it then citing their lack of response in the review
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
1 year
@adsdl @Barristerblog In answer to your last question, clearly you have missed something
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
5 months
@Markonair @Morrisons I think the idea is that it makes customers who ARE criminals feel like criminals. No reason to fear, or even notice it, if you are just going about your business. If it reduces shoplifting, and keeps my bills down, I'm all for it
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
1 year
@mrssteen73 @DrAmirKhanGP Why? Are you a North African black Muslim? Because that’s who they’ve quickly arrested. Why so quick to jump to conclusions?
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
2 years
@theJeremyVine If the friend gives you another envelope to take back, will you open that and count the drugs? 😳
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
6 months
@100Climbs Some people just love rim brakes. There’s no stopping them 🤣
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
1 year
@honorelliott_ @fattyonabicycle That example would be assault and it’s a criminal offence, not a road traffic offence (ex magistrate here). Just because your assailant emerged from a car, rather than say a pedestrian, doesn’t mean it should be classed as a motoring offence. Criminal record is more serious
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
1 year
@GreenwichCycle @RichardIGolding @lewicyclists Pedestrians are supposed to pause before entering the crossing
Tweet media one
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
1 year
@TheMrLoophole @mrdanwalker How about mandatory rules that vehicle drivers respect other road users (maybe a hierarchy, more vulnerable users at the top) and drive with due care and attention? Oh wait, we already have those 🤔
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
11 months
@KingBobIIV @RossKneeDeep Three weeks ago I and a friend spent 25 minutes administering CPR to a fellow cyclist on a club ride. I had no training but was fully prepared to break a rib. He survived. I'd do it again
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
2 years
@kittypurrzog On a positive note, he’ll now be able to compete in elite women’s sports 😃
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
1 year
@eizo51934 @mariotmusic @CyclingInASkirt From your pinned tweet, Chris, you would appear to be a committed Christian. You don’t really come across that way on Twitter Chris 🙏🏻
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
2 months
@clumsyoaf33 @marksandspencer It’s hard to be authentic. I do know onions thicken the sauce so purée them either before or after frying - that’s a game changer
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
2 years
@honeyblossomjoe @rickygervais Just tell them they’ll understand better when they grow up. That usually works
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
1 year
@stats_feed Wikipedia has a good explanation and a simple graph
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
3 months
@LouiseDistras Please don’t forget the angry men - we should be half of your support 💪🏻💪🏻
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
3 months
@Jenny_1884 I bought a one bed flat in Kensington for £32,000 in 1981. It was four times my salary and I was 25 years old. It’s worth over £1mio now. I don’t underestimate how lucky I was for a council house boy. I think you’re being a bit disingenuous, that’s just not achievable now
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
6 months
@GenDocJustice @helenstaniland @Glinner @HatTrickProd So you’re using ‘trans woman’ to insult someone 😳
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
18 days
@cooperx86 @darrenmccaffrey For the last ten years I've spent one day a week doing manual work for the Surrey Wildlife Trust. I became a trustee. I was also a magistrate - unpaid, voluntary - for twelve years and am a non-exec of a local housing association. So what's your point?
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
10 months
@authenticTERF @PinkNews It’s not experimental on actual women. Blokes, on the other hand, we need extensive trials. Until then, it’s absolutely experimental
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
2 years
@righttobikeit Report this to his insurance company - easily done online via a website that contacts his insurer who then contacts you. If no personal injury they’ll deal direct and the authorities never become involved. He’ll lose his no claims discount and get hit for the excess
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
11 months
@CostaCoffee Not going too well is it?
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
10 months
@petemorristwit @Sh3zz4 @GBNEWS I passed my test in November 1973 and have rarely been without a car. I can easily keep below 20mph in any car. How do you manage to drive in cities where the average speed is below 15mph? You must constantly bump into the car in front
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
2 months
@laurakaykelly You were on your own which must be awful. There were two of us (the other guy had taken a course) and another ran to get the defibrillator. Soon after I took a CPR course, I recommend anyone who has the opportunity to do so. So glad you had a positive outcome
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
1 year
@drewsnx So an electric car means zero VED therefore he’s not actually ’paying’ to use the roads by his own definition? 😳
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
2 months
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
5 years
@JasonWiltshire @RhianSizer @GMB @piersmorgan Prison serves a number of purposes, all important. Rehabilitation, punishment, deterrent, and, key here, protecting the public. You can’t expect all of these to be met every time, but the one you can be certain of is protecting the public while the offender is in prison.
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
20 days
@Hplayspiano People often conform without being aware so many of those will have answered no. Women may wear lipstick, men not - is that conforming? Often people justify it by saying 'it's for them'. How about lip plumping?
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
1 year
@ihaverottenguts The broken glass from his wing mirror probably creates an extra hazard too
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
1 year
@BigBearF1 Not only have so many missed the joke, but they are also posting answers that have already been given as if Google didn’t exist 🥱
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
11 months
@CinnamonCh15320 @ArchRose90 It's the hypocrisy - don't you get it?
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
5 months
@TERs_are_EVIL @FeministRoar It wouldn't be ok, and that's not why. It has no connection to being trans. GPs see patients, they don't have time to write admin letters. The patient notified the surgery they are living outside the area - the surgery could be penalised for claiming for patients who live outside
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
2 years
@Pandamoanimum Maybe you’re out of touch?
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
11 months
@francesbarber13 I think the UK has been a beacon of hope, at least in the English speaking world. I also think the UK government, for all the criticism it gets, has been the bulwark. Labour has now come round. LibDems are silent, the Greens, sadly, are not helping their own cause
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
2 years
@Phil_Sledge For those saying pikelets are different, it kind of misses the point. Pikelets exist and are labelled as such in supermarkets and are thinner. However, when I was a child in Sheffield (I’m 65 now) my grandad would call what we know as crumpets, pikelets. It’s a regional thing
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
11 months
@LeoKearse @Emma198635 Definitely worth reporting as a racist tweet
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
1 month
@LobertRee @willnorman Cars create traffic
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
1 year
@mkarolian Then why cover the speedometer in this 20mph zone? It’s 20 for a reason
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
1 year
@wozbunny @IlminsterSteve @rwhitehouse13 To be on nine points and one ticket away from a ban suggests he has offended at least four times, first offence a speed awareness course plus three lots of three points. In court, if loss of job would be a result, you'd get one last chance but couldn't use that excuse again
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
2 years
@TonyCurtin6 @AlanDub13 You’re making a good argument for a cyclist not using such an obviously inadequate cycle lane - much safer for the cyclist to occupy the main carriageway lane so the bus has to wait behind. NB cyclists are not obliged to use a cycle lane at all
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
1 year
@WorldBollard @andrewmullinex They aren't dead, they are just keeping very still
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
1 year
@calvinrobinson @LoisMcLatch If you shop at Tesco, you need the Clubcard. It’s ridiculous, the prices without are stupid. It’s a stark choice, if you don’t want the Clubcard, choose the other supermarkets
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
1 year
@hedgehoghugh This product isn't real so people power was not needed. Actually what it does highlight is that any poison product, say one aimed at rats, can poison other wildlife either by direct access or, in the case of carrion birds, by eating poisoned animals - maybe that was the purpose
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
6 months
@tayab_ali_ The power of veto is key to democracy. It protects minority opinions
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
11 months
@JohnJohnStewart They also failed to explain vehicles could still access these streets anyway from the other end. Perhaps support would have been higher had they included that in the description.
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
6 months
@Missyyy2222 Quite the mess in the corner there behind you 🙂
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
1 year
@ChetwyndRoad @livingstreets @CamdenCouncil Amazing job! It’d be all the harder now with the size of some vehicles
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
5 months
@authenticTERF Some followers might be a little thrown by your current focus. Maybe just try and rise above this if you can. Tbh, this had all passed me by until you started highlighting it. It won’t be easy, but these things will pass 🤗
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
1 year
@jasonaslin1 @suzseddon Yep 😂😂 is there a bandwagon he won’t jump on?
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
2 years
@qikipedia My favourite was the guy who phoned in to a radio show. He’d forgotten to defrost the turkey so cut it in half to cook quicker. The host asked if he wanted to know how long to cook half a turkey. He said ‘no, I need to know how to get rid of the taste of chainsaw oil’ 😂🙂
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
3 months
@JuliaHB1 I’ve followed @JustinOnWeb today, I hope everyone else does too as a show of solidarity and appreciation
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
2 years
@CyclingInASkirt Personally, I wouldn’t cycle in anything else but that’s because of the type of cycling I do. No group of cyclists should claim superiority over any other, certainly not based on clothing. If I see someone on a bike, any age, any physique, any clothing - they’re on a bike! Hooray
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
1 year
@carlafrancome I assume that’s a more gentle ’toot’ sound rather than a blare from the full horn. I’m sure it’s well meaning. We sometimes get a friendly toot from drivers who think they are doing us a favour.
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
1 year
@tony_eh A fellow club member, a retired police inspector, was amazed when I told her the little clusters of metal cylinders we sometimes saw on the floor were not, in fact, CO2 canisters from cyclists 😂😂😂
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
1 year
@shift_observer @stueymaco @badgersrock22 They all gave consent and knew they would be in a documentary. There were cameras, microphones and lights. What they didn’t have was editorial control
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
1 year
@TGonthebike And hopefully, for every one who gets caught, they tell their friends who might then be less likely to use their phone
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
6 months
@FunkGodArtist @JebraFaushay Friend and egg can both be verbs
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
2 months
Loved hearing @KatherinePriddy on Beyond Paradise tonight - instant follow here and on Spotify. Now all I have to do is find some tickets for a performance near Surrey 😃
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
2 years
@edwardjtaylor These are ‘desire paths’ and can be actually really useful if used in planning. You let people choose the best path, then you formalise it
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
4 months
@j0sh388 @helenstaniland When was that profile photo taken, 5 o’clock?
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
1 year
@notpotmongs @cyclegaz If the cyclist was speeding, why did you need to overtake? Do you know the difference between middle of the lane and middle of the road where the white line is? You need a test retake
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
2 months
@markhendy @johnheaney2 And yet you want to fuck Land Rover 😂😂. Keep crying, suck it up and pay the insurance
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@runtleywood
Mark Slater
6 months
@peter_daly @CashmanRachel International profile?????
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