Ricky Gervais
@rickygervais
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Thank you ❤️
4 years in a row,
#AfterLife
is the most watched British comedy in the world, now with a total global viewership of 140 million. Astonishing.
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It’s The Oscars tonight! I wasn’t invited. Was it something I said? 😂
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Please stop saying "You can't joke about anything anymore". You can. You can joke about whatever the fuck you like. And some people won't like it and they will tell you they don't like it. And then it's up to you whether you give a fuck or not. And so on. It's a good system.
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1. Simply pointing out whether someone is left or right wing isn't winning the argument.
2. If a joke is good enough, it can be enjoyed by anyone.
3. It's not all about you.
4. Just because you're offended, doesn't mean you're right.
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The fact that Trump has lifted President Obama's ban on elephant trophies being imported into the country is a devastating blow to the survival of these beautiful animals. It's savage and pointless. It breaks my heart.
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Thanks for all your amazing comments about my Golden Globes monologue. Best reaction ever and that means a lot to me. I had a blast but thank fuck it's over, so I can get back to my real job of editing
#AfterLife2
and touring
#SuperNature
. Make Jokes, Not War 🙏
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If you don’t believe in free speech for people who you disagree with, and even hate for what they stand for, then you don’t believe in free speech.
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How the fuck can teasing huge corporations, and the richest, most privileged people in the world be considered right wing? 😂
#GoldenGlobes
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Please stop saying "You can't joke about anything anymore". You can. You can joke about whatever the fuck you like. And some people won't like it and they will tell you they don't like it. And then it's up to you whether you give a fuck or not. And so on. It's a good system.
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Never gonna happen 😂
Golden Globes viewers want Ricky Gervais to host ‘every year’ — He was ‘amazing!’ [POLL RESULTS]
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I had no money growing up. My dad was a labourer and my mum did everything to make ends meet. Men worked hard. Women worked miracles. But education was free. As was the local library. I knew books were my passport to a better life.
#SupportLibraries
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I didn't roast Hollywood for being a bunch of liberals. I myself am a liberal. Nothing wrong with that. I roasted them for wearing their liberalism like a medal. I'm such a snowflake, liberal, I can't even really hate them for it. But my job is to take the piss. I did that. 😇
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The worst thing about being famous is the lack of privacy. I can’t even walk down the street without people looking and pointing.
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Such sad news. RIP the great Sean Lock. One of the funniest, most influential comedians of a generation. A lovely man. 💔
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😂
Opinion: Ricky Gervais cheapened the Golden Globes and overshadowed vital political statements
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I always knew that there were morons in the world that took jokes seriously, but I'm surprised that some journalists do. Surely, understanding stuff is pretty fundamental to their job, isn't it? Just makes it funnier though, I guess😇
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Because so many of you watched
#AfterLife2
so quickly and made it Number 1 again, the nice people at
@Netflix
have suggested that I get off my fat arse and do another season. This is all your fault.
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This is me pondering whether they'll change any of the words I've used in my work after I'm dead, to spare those who are fragile and easily offended. Words like 'fat' and 'ugly'. And 'cunt' and 'fuck'. And 'fat, ugly, greedy, pathetic little stupid fucking cunt'. Stuff like that.
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It’s important to teach young children not to eat with their mouths open. That way, they won’t grow up and become a 60 year old man sitting at the next table to me in the restaurant tonight, chewing like a fucking brain damaged cunt.
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When I was really poor, me & Jane used to celebrate New Year’s Eve by staying at home & just sitting on the couch, getting drunk, watching repeats of ‘Bullseye’ on a tiny TV. Now our TV is massive.
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Just had to say goodbye to the sweetest little soul I’ve ever known. RIP Ollie
July 9th 2003 - March 10th 2020
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I had no money growing up. My dad was a labourer and my mum did everything to make ends meet. Men worked hard. Women worked miracles. But education was free. As was the local library. I knew books were my passport to a better life. Happy
#WorldBookDay
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Terrible lack of diversity in this video.
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“Remember, they’re just jokes. We’re all gonna die soon & there’s no sequel”
“If you win, come up, accept your little award, thank your agent and your God and f— off.” Host
@rickygervais
calls for no politics at the
#GoldenGlobes
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I used to be constantly disappointed by the human race, but Twitter has helped me lower my expectations.
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“I can’t wait to hear all your inspirational speeches about equality, and it’s great that the 3 hours you’re here tonight is the only time your badly paid migrant house staff will get some time off to sleep this week”
Question for
@rickygervais
Jf you were hosting the Oscars tonight, what’s your first best joke?
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It's interesting that the people who believe that throwing a milkshake in someone's face shouldn't be considered assault are often the same people who believe that 'saying things' should be.
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Just went up to my mate who was sitting in his car. I pressed my face against the window pulling a stupid expression. He wound the window down. Wasn’t him. Bloke said “Are you Ricky Gervais?” I said “Sorry, I thought you were someone else” & ran away.
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I had no money growing up. My dad was a labourer & my mum did everything to make ends meet. I went to the local comprehensive at the end of my road. Life was tough, I guess. And yet, all I can remember is having a laugh. Anyway, in May, I'm playing The Hollywood Fucking Bowl 😂
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It's common now to mistake defending someone's right to say things, with agreeing with those things. If you don't support free speech for people who you disagree with, then you don't support free speech. And remember, it's your right not to listen and even say things back 👍
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A man has been convicted in a UK court of making a joke that was deemed "grossly offensive". If you don't believe in a person's right to say things that you might find "grossly offensive", then you don't believe in Freedom of Speech.
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I always feel sorry for the horses at these protests. I would like to suggest the use of armoured rhinos instead.
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😂
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Welcome to the 300,000 new followers I acquired today. I promise you won’t like everything I say, but here’s a sexy photo.
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Quick update on the cat we’re fostering: She keeps getting on my lap and staring at me. We’re keeping her.
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Whenever you’re feeling down about life and thinking that no one cares, just remember you’ll be dead soon and none of this will matter. Have a great day.
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Giraffes are now on the 'red list' of endangerment due to a 40% decline over the last 25 years. They could become extinct. Gone forever. And still, we allow spoilt cunts to pay money to shoot them with a bow and arrow for fun.
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I have nothing against the most famous people in the world using their privileged, global platform to tell the world what they believe. I even agree with most of it. I just tried to warn them that when they lecture everyday, hard working people, it has the opposite effect. Peace.
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If you don’t believe in free speech for people who you hate, fear and disagree with, then you don’t believe in free speech.
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Is there any greater honour than your hometown naming a garbage truck after you? 😂
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I voted remain. I would still like to stay in Europe. I will argue with people who disagree me, always respecting their right to do so. What I won't do is throw things at them. That would mean I had run out of good arguments. It would also mean I deserve a smack in the mouth.
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Whether you believe that animals evolved over billions of years into the unconditionally beautiful beings they are today, or that God miraculously made them that way, if you hurt them for no reason, you’re a cunt.
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When I was really poor, I got so fed up having only T shirts and old sweat pants to wear, that I tried to make a suit out of curtains. Now I can afford to wear anything I want. So I wear T shirts and old sweat pants. Probably some moral to this story. Anyway, here's a cat.
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I want to ban leaf blowers. Just fucking rake the leaves up, you lazy, noisy Cunt.
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Animal cruelty is wrong.
“But, it's tradition", doesn't make it right, "It's part of my religion" doesn't make it right, "It's my culture”, doesn't make it right, and "people are more important" doesn't make it right either. You know why? Because it's just fucking wrong.
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I will never get over the reaction to
#AfterLife
and I'll probably never better it. Maybe I should retire. Or die.
Yes. That's my cunning plan. Please use this photo on the news. Thanks. Best fans in the world ❤️
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I had no money growing up. My dad was a labourer and my mum did everything to make ends meet. Men worked hard. Women worked miracles. But education was free. As was the local library. I knew books were my passport to a better life.
#SupportLibraries
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And it wouldn't even be in the top 10 weirdest news stories of the year 😂
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Best fans in the world. A huge thank you to everyone who bought tickets. Life is hard for most people & although I remember what that was like, I now have an easy, privileged existence because of them. That's why I don't lecture them about the real world or tell them how to vote.
Ricky now holds the record for the fastest selling stand up tour of all time selling 3 million tickets worldwide. This secured him a 40 million dollar deal with Netflix and the most watched special of the year!
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Whenever you’re feeling down about life and thinking that no one cares, just remember you’ll be dead soon and none of this will matter.
Have a great day ❤️
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That's nothing. I darn my own socks and you should see the state of my fucking underpants.
This man is a winner… wearing custom Stella because he chooses to make choices for the future of the planet. He has also chosen to wear this same Tux for the entire award season to reduce waste. I am proud to join forces with you... x Stella
#JoaquinPhoenix
#GoldenGlobes
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Twitter seems to be gangs of people trying to 'out-extreme' one another. Attempting to be fair and balanced these days, and trying to see 'both sides', simply means you're hated by 'both sides' for not totally agreeing with them. Even asking a question is seen as a threat. Scary.
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Twitter is like being able to read every toilet wall in the world.
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The world began to crumble when feelings started overruling facts.
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Fuck fireworks. Banal noise. Annoying and pointless and terrifies animals. Cunts.
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Weird search
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Beautiful, abused bear finally defends itself.
Crazed circus bear savages trainer just feet away from horrified kids as families flee in terror
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After studying science, philosophy, theology and socio economic history for many years, I have concluded that the big problem is that so many people are fucking stupid.
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Best Headline Ever.
Ricky Gervais Called ‘Transphobe’ For Defending Women Refusing To Wax Trans Woman’s Penis
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If you don't have empathy with animals, you don't have empathy.
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Happy
#WorldRhinoDay
. Fuck poachers, and fuck the people who pay them. If you think a rhino horn is medicine you are a stupid cunt.
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It used to be considered reasonable to listen & try to understand both sides of an argument. But now, if opposing extremists are screaming at each other & you don’t agree 100% with either, you’re considered the enemy of both. It’s why many people are afraid to contribute at all.
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I want to fucking batter every one of these nasty cunts.
@rickygervais
@PeterEgan6
@LinkEuropean
@LeagueACS
Exhausted, harassed, the young bull can not even stand up anymore ... Would they leave him in peace? No, the training must continue. Help us close these schools! This horrendous tradition must be abolished.
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Thanks again for all the love for
#AfterLife
. I have never had a reaction like this. The reviews have been great but the response from viewers has been fucking amazing. And that means so much more to me. You are the best fans in the world. Oh, and I've started writing series 2.
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How the fuck is this entertainment? Or art? Or Culture? If you choose to fight a bull, I hope it kills you.
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I’ve noticed a couple of tweets criticising me for “accepting” new followers who are the “opposite” of me. Christian, conservative, pro life, pro gun, reactionaries. Of course I accept them. To err is human, to forgive divine. It’s what Jesus would do. Dog Bless all my followers.
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I think it's a good idea for The Oscars to have no host. No guests and no cameras would be good too. Just tweet the list of winners for anyone who still gives a fuck.
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It's disgusting that a qualified gynaecologist can refuse to check a lady's cock for ovarian cancer. What if her bollocks are pregnant? She could lose the baby. I'm outraged.
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Whenever I'm abroad, I make sure I only speak English. To use a foreign language would be 'cultural appropriation', and that's racist.
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Hopefully, the excitement of murdering a beautiful creature caused the fat cunt to have a heart attack.
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A couple of cunts, dressed up like cunts, shooting a beautiful animal, then posing with the murdered carcass like right cunts and posting it on social media to show the world what cunts they are.
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Extremely sad news. The very funny and very lovely Ewen Macintosh, known to many as 'Big Keith' from The Office, has passed away. An absolute original. RIP.
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Opposing left wing extremism doesn't mean you support right wing extremism. Opposing right wing extremism doesn't mean you support left wing extremism. You're allowed to hate all extremism. There are loads of other choices. Also, stop wasting milk.
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