Emo Philips
@EmoPhilips
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Looming stand-up gigs: Ann Arbor, Cincinnati, Lexington, Nashville, Bloomington, Denver, Casper, Albuquerque; bathe in the particulars at https://t.co/NUrccFD1U3
Joined June 2009
I like Twitter because it combines my two favorite forms of communication: texting, and throwing a note in a bottle out into the sea.
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citation needed
"The deepest sin against the human mind is to believe things without evidence." - Aldous Huxley
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Sometimes I have to undo an RT of Emo so that I can RT him again.
the vampire bat has a scary name but does much good, eating up to twice its weight in vampires every year
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I mean it when I say Emo Philips is one of the funniest people I’ve ever seen perform live.
how can I upgrade https://t.co/2Hl4Cigi7d when the librarian who banned me refuses to retire
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I saw him live when he was touring with Weird Al and he blew me away. Excellent performance.
how can I upgrade https://t.co/2Hl4Cigi7d when the librarian who banned me refuses to retire
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The award-winning documentary that Sen. Adam Schiff demanded to have removed from Amazon Prime shows how metabolic and other natural cancer treatments work. "We're not giving cancer an opportunity to detour . . . to escape down one of its usual [biochemical] pathways."
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how can I upgrade https://t.co/2Hl4Cigi7d when the librarian who banned me refuses to retire
I love that @EmoPhilips hasn't upgraded his website since launching it in 1997
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medieval walnuts were huge
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Dear Ann Arbor, Cincinnati, Lexington, Nashville and Bloomington… go see Emo!
The “Emo Philips: Guaranteed No Cannibalism” Tour is celebrating the 12 days of Thanksgiving (I’m fairly sure that’s a thing) with shows in Ann Arbor, Cincinnati, Lexington, Nashville & Bloomington; feast on the particulars:
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Go see Emo.
The “Emo Philips: Guaranteed No Cannibalism” Tour is celebrating the 12 days of Thanksgiving (I’m fairly sure that’s a thing) with shows in Ann Arbor, Cincinnati, Lexington, Nashville & Bloomington; feast on the particulars:
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The “Emo Philips: Guaranteed No Cannibalism” Tour is celebrating the 12 days of Thanksgiving (I’m fairly sure that’s a thing) with shows in Ann Arbor, Cincinnati, Lexington, Nashville & Bloomington; feast on the particulars:
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My long-lost album EMO is now streamable (@GoatSongRecords) & sounds every bit as good as it did on the original Edison Disc.
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Andy Warhol & I & Conan O’Brien as Andy Warhol & I as Salvador Dali (the second photo, as all you art aficionados will know, is from Weird: The Al Yankovic Story)
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Federal investigators are taking a closer look at the Black Lives Matter Global Network Foundation’s finances. What could this probe mean for transparency, accountability, and the broader nonprofit sector?
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no man is poor who cameos in a comic book about a ventriloquist
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plus it’s a hassle throughout the year marking each & every receipt with the correct scent
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yes except for tax preparation
Do you trust dogs more than humans? 🐶 Please answer YES or NO.
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in your face, asteroid
Dinosaurs are not technically extinct, since birds are considered by science as a type of dinosaur.
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you can fly for free if you’re invisible
Would you rather have the ability to fly or be invisible?
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Welcome to the Dark video is live for Halloween! Jenna Ortega as Wednesday Addams. Link in Bio ☝🏼
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