Roya Khatiblou
@Roya_Khatiblou
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Writer | editor | she/her | mommy | work: @Salon @LitroMagazine @reflexfiction @chireview etc | Assoc dir @SalonEurope | ✨QUERYING✨
Birmingham UK via USA
Joined July 2021
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Pinned Tweet
Much ♥️ to those of you who shared my
#PitDark
posts. A roundup:
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@realgirl_fieri
Please don't hate me but drinking a glass of water and doing a set of sun salutations as soon as I wake up makes me feel like a goddess who can do anything that day
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@realgirl_fieri
My husband was like this when I met him, but I was very clear that I don't like cooking during the week. If he wants something new, he makes it, because he is a capable adult!
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For everyone pearl-clutching about the age difference in The Idea of You:
you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me.
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I'm reading a collection of Tolstoy novellas rn and he breaks every single rule you're supposed to follow to make a plot 'propulsive' and is riveting and I just want to know when writing became so formulaic and when we can stop
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Just paid $29,000 for Joan Didion’s actual phone that she spoke in with her mouth. I am shaking
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So you guys? Literally what do I do when my toddler doesn’t go to bed without tons of crying. Like, the crying is awful. But the trying to ‘support’ him for three hours had him asleep at 10 and up on repeat all night. He had under eye circles and got sick. What is the answer?
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I just want to be friends with all the people who immediately recognize what this quote is from
Is there anyone left who knows how to diagram a sentence?
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@Sench_ola
@ElyKreimendahl
Haha exactly this. Amazing how adept men are at doing what needs to be done at work and feigning incompetence to get out of domestic responsibility!
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@realgirl_fieri
I did that in the hospital when recovering from an emergency caesarean (kid was a great sleeper, thank goodness) and overheard a nurse complaining ‘all this one wants to do is sleep’. Like, I have sepsis, should I be washing floors?
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I’m not an advicey type of gal but having Word read my work to me because the ear catches things (rhythm, mistakes) the eye can’t has been an absolute game changer 👩🏻💻
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@soniasodha
This is stunningly inaccurate, like the author heard tidbits of a story in the schoolyard and is repeating them for attention
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@Allison_Burnett
Haha yes the generation hiding under their desks from men with AR-15s is coddled
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@DrPragyaAgarwal
I hate this. When I was a lecturer I always said yes to extensions. I told them day 1 that I always say yes to extensions. Not one person abused it. Why can’t we just trust that everyone is doing their best and that if they ask for time they need it?
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@RickRaguse
@summerbrennan
@WFKARS
In my opinion if people are too misanthropic to deal with other humans’ age-appropriate behavior they’re too immature to fly and should stay home so everyone else doesn’t have to deal with their age-inappropriate sighing and eye-rolls
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I am once again begging people to look up a basic definition of gatekeeping. It is about people in power controlling access and resources. It is not every time someone disagrees with you
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When you were little, who did you think was the pinnacle of beauty?
I wanted SO badly to grow up to look like her
When you were little, who did you think was the pinnacle of beauty?
The one, the only…
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@realgirl_fieri
We’re also the ones judged when something gets dropped. I have no idea what my husband put in my kid’s lunch every day for camp last week but if it was bad/the same thing every day, nobody was about to wonder why HE doesn’t make sure the kid eats better
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@LukeCPhillips
@theshirarose
@indigopumpkin
☝️this twelve year old has no memory of larger seats so they must not have happened
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@realgirl_fieri
My impression of child-haters is that they don't like children getting more attention than them, an adult who acts like a child
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@realgirl_fieri
God, this. I often have to do it while watching my toddler, meaning he undoes all my work as I do it
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@JammieWF
@az_resist
@Passion4law
@ASU
Says someone whose feeling are hurt by students sitting on grass
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@KosokoJackson
Pretty much! My only criticism is how sexless he is when we have had this:
Since we’re on the subject of the emcee from Cabaret, I’d like to bring your attention to Michael C. Hall (Dexter) whose emcee was not only as creepy as Redmayne’s but also somehow sex on legs
(Video in next tweet)
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@doug_dare
@tiffanylynn_
@binchcity
I mean, she was honest about who she didn’t want to stop being friends with just because she met you. That’s her right, and it’s your right to not be in a relationship if that’s unacceptable to you
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@ConduitOfMagic
I think this is the reason BIPOC authors’ work is often overlooked. Editors have all learned in the same schools what a ‘good’ story is and cannot recognize non-western story structures as anything but unskilled
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@fklein907
Wait, you’re celebrating your kid’s birthday by listening to them and giving them something they like instead of adhering blindly to a cultural norm?
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I’ll do you one better: universal basic income
idea: stable employment that doesn’t crush your spirit and slowly sap away your joy and curiosity and humanity and inner light
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God you people are so sweet. The takeaway from this thread is that people are working very hard in every way they can to support their kids, and it’s lovely. I’ll definitely be trying some of these out!
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@aaronmfortkamp
Chuckled at ‘sleep training for people’ like she sleep trains adults and honestly I could use that too
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"Do a picture of King Charles in the style of Vigo the Carpathian from Ghostbusters 2"
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@Madame_Ennui
I think we are missing the point which is that the lady in the first picture looks like a lot of fun
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Since we’re on the subject of the emcee from Cabaret, I’d like to bring your attention to Michael C. Hall (Dexter) whose emcee was not only as creepy as Redmayne’s but also somehow sex on legs
(Video in next tweet)
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@sewistwrites
I can’t stand the argument that a sahm should do everything because the husband works. Like, so he works 8h a day and she works 24? Do you care so little about her quality of life? It disgusts me
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I have never felt more writerly than in this cottage I have rented for the sole purpose of a weekend of uninterrupted novel revision, away from my son for the first time, with a fire and a glass of wine and the misty hills in the distance
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@roilingsoil8
@SunitiAleksson
@Cupcakes_n_Rap
@ohevie
Nobody pretends to talk to their kids. They pretty much need constant attentive engagement. Even when my kid watches tv he wants a continuous dialogue about it, and I talk to him animatedly because he's a child and it makes him feel good. Bunch of curmudgeons
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@realgirl_fieri
He had a whole ritual of making himself a cooked supper every evening, as part of self care, but when you're single I think you have that kind of time. I certainly didn't have the 'no cooking' rule before 1) I had to cook for two and 2) I had to also cook for a picky toddler
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I cannot believe this tagline was approved.
You want to turn a historically used slogan on its head for your fresh new campaign? 'Yes means yes' was literally right there
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@ambernoelle
What nobody seems to understand is that we’re not complaining about the kids, we’re complaining about the hard
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@realgirl_fieri
You mean the complete torpedo-ing of my career because I can't do any work with a set schedule or location outside the home is not the solution?
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@samatlounge
How else would they keep the industry in the hands of people who don’t need the money?
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@missmcqu
@CrowtherSim
in any country we should be able to buy groceries at a normal store near us
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@Aaron__Burch
'I consider myself intellectual, but lack the intellectual curiosity to read anyone new since grad school'
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@MarkIKendrick
@AP
The political system that’s been gerrymandered to the point where their vote doesn’t count?
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@LaurieMMarshall
I saw at least one very young person calling it gross. And as someone who has partaken in a 10y age gap or three, I think they need to get out more
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Having been both on and off the masthead at more than one lit journal, usually the only way a person on the masthead is reading your piece is if it goes to meeting. ‘Dear Editors’ is more accurate and the people whose ego you’d be stroking will probably never see the letter
we all have limited time. if you're submitting work places, you should *at the very least* do the basic ten seconds of research to see who'll be reading your email.
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@CowleyThom
@_wohyeahwohyeah
@Asim_2023
@gabriellindsay
@AvaSantina
@MJsquirrels
Cis people using pronouns normalizes it so trans people don’t always have to be the ones to bring it up
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@JoGibsonWriter
Are you kidding? I can’t even send him to daycare. I’m seriously considering unschooling. I can’t stand to be away from this tiny beautiful person for a minute. Except he does need to go to gd sleep
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@SaraSchon
That’s funny because trying to assert superiority by putting you down is also unnecessary! And transparent. He would have found any reason
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@aubreyhirsch
I once suggested house cleaning and laundry as items to fund in an arts application because it would free up like two days to write and the man I was talking to was like ‘that’s very middle class’. I’m in the UK where I must hang dry approximately 1000 baby onesies per week
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Anyone wondering if I’ll leave Twitter should see some of the relationships I’ve stayed in
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@Joanne_Lake
@DrPragyaAgarwal
With a weird tinge of personal responsibility. A man’s hair simply goes grey, nobody mentions it, but I’ve seen numerous articles about women ‘letting’ their hair go grey
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If you only participate in one strike this year…
It's a simple idea: We demand the govt scrap the energy price rises and deliver affordable energy for all. We will build a million pledges and by Oct 1st if the govt and energy companies fail to act we will cancel our direct debits. Read more here:
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@samatlounge
This is just such an epic, drawn-out tantrum in response to restrained, appropriate criticism. Like
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@ambernoelle
Also if you don’t go to college and complain about not making a living wage it’s ‘If you want to make more money go to college!’
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@Gabino_Iglesias
Tastelessness aside, they will later claim that backlist marketing and decent advances are outside the budget while spending it on this nonsense
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@CartoonsHateHer
If you’re genuinely interested and not, like most ppl, dunking on Americans for sport, this book is good
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@anummdmph
@jcondenunez
Unfortunately in the west there’s v consistent propaganda painting Middle Eastern men as misogynist brutes, so their tenderness as caregivers is surprising a lot of people
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Frantically scribbling out ‘Iranian’ on all my query materials and replacing it with ‘Persian’ as I get ready for everyone to really start hating us again
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Note to writers: making something easily readable is its own talent
Overheard in the pretentious reading corner of Twitter: “Yah, yah, I hate those ‘easy reading’ novels; they add nothing to the body of literature as a whole”. This, from somebody who has never written a single book; never thought about what reading means to people other than
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@RaeHoffmanJager
It’s almost certainly the 2 y sleep regression, I just can’t figure out the best way to support him and still have anyone in the house get any sleep! I can’t believe all toddlers go through this, the poor little things
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@CDFoxAuthor
‘Playing hooky’ is the first that comes to mind, but I’ve heard calling in with hangover referred to as ‘24 hour flu’
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Update: my little angel now says 'goodnight' in his little angel voice as I leave and chats to his stuffed dino until he falls asleep 🥲
So you guys? Literally what do I do when my toddler doesn’t go to bed without tons of crying. Like, the crying is awful. But the trying to ‘support’ him for three hours had him asleep at 10 and up on repeat all night. He had under eye circles and got sick. What is the answer?
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‘You have two pairs of eyeglasses: a regular pair and a “fun” pair’
I have been brutalized 💀
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If you’ve written a book, a whole book, you are not an aspiring author. You are an author.
#amquerying
#author
#WritingCommunity
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Just remembered that when I was about 6 I told my classmates that the chicken pox scar in the centre of my forehead was left from when I was a unicorn in my previous life🦄
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