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Roya Khatiblou Profile
Roya Khatiblou

@Roya_Khatiblou

Followers
1,606
Following
1,482
Media
187
Statuses
4,954

Writer | editor | she/her | mommy | work: @Salon @LitroMagazine @reflexfiction @chireview etc | Assoc dir @SalonEurope | ✨QUERYING✨

Birmingham UK via USA
Joined July 2021
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
4 months
Much ♥️ to those of you who shared my #PitDark posts. A roundup:
@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
4 months
A TALE OF TWO CITIES + IRANIANS A detention camp survivor is drawn into a love triangle A caregiver seeks solace with a troubled man A privileged son looks to disrupt the status quo A mother searching for her son begins a revolution that ensnares them all #PitDark #A #SPEC
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
3 months
@realgirl_fieri Please don't hate me but drinking a glass of water and doing a set of sun salutations as soon as I wake up makes me feel like a goddess who can do anything that day
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
6 months
@realgirl_fieri My husband was like this when I met him, but I was very clear that I don't like cooking during the week. If he wants something new, he makes it, because he is a capable adult!
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
5 months
For everyone pearl-clutching about the age difference in The Idea of You: you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me.
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
7 months
I'm reading a collection of Tolstoy novellas rn and he breaks every single rule you're supposed to follow to make a plot 'propulsive' and is riveting and I just want to know when writing became so formulaic and when we can stop
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
2 years
Just paid $29,000 for Joan Didion’s actual phone that she spoke in with her mouth. I am shaking
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
2 years
So you guys? Literally what do I do when my toddler doesn’t go to bed without tons of crying. Like, the crying is awful. But the trying to ‘support’ him for three hours had him asleep at 10 and up on repeat all night. He had under eye circles and got sick. What is the answer?
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
7 months
I just want to be friends with all the people who immediately recognize what this quote is from
@2HeartCore4U
Dawn Levitt - Author
7 months
Is there anyone left who knows how to diagram a sentence?
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
2 years
@Sench_ola @ElyKreimendahl Haha exactly this. Amazing how adept men are at doing what needs to be done at work and feigning incompetence to get out of domestic responsibility!
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
2 years
@allegra_hyde I will never get over the end of Interpreter of Maladies
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
10 months
@realgirl_fieri I did that in the hospital when recovering from an emergency caesarean (kid was a great sleeper, thank goodness) and overheard a nurse complaining ‘all this one wants to do is sleep’. Like, I have sepsis, should I be washing floors?
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
7 months
I’m not an advicey type of gal but having Word read my work to me because the ear catches things (rhythm, mistakes) the eye can’t has been an absolute game changer 👩🏻‍💻
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
5 months
@AugustMillionXO @davo_arid Yes this is definitely her fault and not the creep’s
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
4 months
@ambernoelle The next generation really has better waterproof mascara
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
2 years
@christiemegill @vanjchan Right, and her fun little side piece? Well, until now at least
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
3 years
@soniasodha This is stunningly inaccurate, like the author heard tidbits of a story in the schoolyard and is repeating them for attention
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
5 months
@Allison_Burnett Haha yes the generation hiding under their desks from men with AR-15s is coddled
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
6 months
@DrPragyaAgarwal I hate this. When I was a lecturer I always said yes to extensions. I told them day 1 that I always say yes to extensions. Not one person abused it. Why can’t we just trust that everyone is doing their best and that if they ask for time they need it?
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
2 years
@zillowgonewild Is it cake?
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
2 years
@RickRaguse @summerbrennan @WFKARS In my opinion if people are too misanthropic to deal with other humans’ age-appropriate behavior they’re too immature to fly and should stay home so everyone else doesn’t have to deal with their age-inappropriate sighing and eye-rolls
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
2 years
@aubreyhirsch This sounds like a wonderful evening to me
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
2 years
I am once again begging people to look up a basic definition of gatekeeping. It is about people in power controlling access and resources. It is not every time someone disagrees with you
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
9 months
@taylorsschumann Can’t you just have a grandparent come over and…
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
2 years
@TomAvril1 Oh god, so much of my sanity relies on that midday break 😅
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
7 months
When you were little, who did you think was the pinnacle of beauty? I wanted SO badly to grow up to look like her
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@Brttnyblm
Brittany Terwilliger 🍂
7 months
When you were little, who did you think was the pinnacle of beauty? The one, the only…
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
2 months
@realgirl_fieri We’re also the ones judged when something gets dropped. I have no idea what my husband put in my kid’s lunch every day for camp last week but if it was bad/the same thing every day, nobody was about to wonder why HE doesn’t make sure the kid eats better
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
1 year
@LukeCPhillips @theshirarose @indigopumpkin ☝️this twelve year old has no memory of larger seats so they must not have happened
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
2 years
@allegra_hyde @vanjchan It’s called insecurity bro
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
2 years
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
9 months
@sewistwrites Listen, people have a right to know if you're on the market
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
8 months
@realgirl_fieri My impression of child-haters is that they don't like children getting more attention than them, an adult who acts like a child
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
8 months
@realgirl_fieri God, this. I often have to do it while watching my toddler, meaning he undoes all my work as I do it
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
5 months
@JammieWF @az_resist @Passion4law @ASU Says someone whose feeling are hurt by students sitting on grass
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
9 months
@offbeatorbit I don't think there's a word less sexy than seggs
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
3 months
@KosokoJackson Pretty much! My only criticism is how sexless he is when we have had this:
@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
3 months
Since we’re on the subject of the emcee from Cabaret, I’d like to bring your attention to Michael C. Hall (Dexter) whose emcee was not only as creepy as Redmayne’s but also somehow sex on legs (Video in next tweet)
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
7 months
@TripleBoogie @thesarahyork This is husband material
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
2 years
@doug_dare @tiffanylynn_ @binchcity I mean, she was honest about who she didn’t want to stop being friends with just because she met you. That’s her right, and it’s your right to not be in a relationship if that’s unacceptable to you
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
2 years
@ConduitOfMagic I think this is the reason BIPOC authors’ work is often overlooked. Editors have all learned in the same schools what a ‘good’ story is and cannot recognize non-western story structures as anything but unskilled
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
5 months
@fklein907 Wait, you’re celebrating your kid’s birthday by listening to them and giving them something they like instead of adhering blindly to a cultural norm?
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
4 months
I’ll do you one better: universal basic income
@sadqueer4life
Jennifer Espinoza
4 months
idea: stable employment that doesn’t crush your spirit and slowly sap away your joy and curiosity and humanity and inner light
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
2 years
God you people are so sweet. The takeaway from this thread is that people are working very hard in every way they can to support their kids, and it’s lovely. I’ll definitely be trying some of these out!
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
2 years
@aaronmfortkamp Chuckled at ‘sleep training for people’ like she sleep trains adults and honestly I could use that too
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
4 months
"Do a picture of King Charles in the style of Vigo the Carpathian from Ghostbusters 2"
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
8 months
@Madame_Ennui I think we are missing the point which is that the lady in the first picture looks like a lot of fun
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
3 months
Since we’re on the subject of the emcee from Cabaret, I’d like to bring your attention to Michael C. Hall (Dexter) whose emcee was not only as creepy as Redmayne’s but also somehow sex on legs (Video in next tweet)
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
6 months
@CartoonsHateHer In America you’re not considered upper class unless you don’t have to work
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
9 months
@sewistwrites I can’t stand the argument that a sahm should do everything because the husband works. Like, so he works 8h a day and she works 24? Do you care so little about her quality of life? It disgusts me
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
2 years
I have never felt more writerly than in this cottage I have rented for the sole purpose of a weekend of uninterrupted novel revision, away from my son for the first time, with a fire and a glass of wine and the misty hills in the distance
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
3 months
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
8 months
@jdbarker 'I'm very sorry but also I didn't do it.' Truly incredible
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
2 years
@roilingsoil8 @SunitiAleksson @Cupcakes_n_Rap @ohevie Nobody pretends to talk to their kids. They pretty much need constant attentive engagement. Even when my kid watches tv he wants a continuous dialogue about it, and I talk to him animatedly because he's a child and it makes him feel good. Bunch of curmudgeons
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
5 months
*gets 0 applications because the text is too small*
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
6 months
@realgirl_fieri He had a whole ritual of making himself a cooked supper every evening, as part of self care, but when you're single I think you have that kind of time. I certainly didn't have the 'no cooking' rule before 1) I had to cook for two and 2) I had to also cook for a picky toddler
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
2 years
@_S_choir @Meathead_Esq @ohevie Yes, it's everyone around them who's horrible, definitely not them
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
7 months
I cannot believe this tagline was approved. You want to turn a historically used slogan on its head for your fresh new campaign? 'Yes means yes' was literally right there
@DrProudman
Dr Charlotte Proudman
7 months
I am so excited to unveil our new campaign, in partnership with creative agency @CPB_LDN and @EmAtack I’m Asking For It: Let’s change the law to require a clear yes to sex. Find out more  Right to Equality is campaigning to update the UK’s law on
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
2 years
Did my anxiety write this?
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
1 year
@ambernoelle What nobody seems to understand is that we’re not complaining about the kids, we’re complaining about the hard
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
10 months
@realgirl_fieri You mean the complete torpedo-ing of my career because I can't do any work with a set schedule or location outside the home is not the solution?
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
6 months
@ZeroStarReviews Or…they always have?
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
3 years
@samatlounge How else would they keep the industry in the hands of people who don’t need the money?
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
5 months
@missmcqu @CrowtherSim in any country we should be able to buy groceries at a normal store near us
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
11 months
@Aaron__Burch 'I consider myself intellectual, but lack the intellectual curiosity to read anyone new since grad school'
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
5 months
@missmcqu @CrowtherSim Good lord, is Saino’s posh now?
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
2 years
@MarkIKendrick @AP The political system that’s been gerrymandered to the point where their vote doesn’t count?
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
4 months
@snarkademic Lust by Yusef Komunyakaa
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
10 months
@ambernoelle My 3yo literally tells us ‘I don’t want you to talk!’
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
5 months
@LaurieMMarshall I saw at least one very young person calling it gross. And as someone who has partaken in a 10y age gap or three, I think they need to get out more
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
2 years
@BBCFLauraKT Is he going to renationalise healthcare?
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
2 months
Having been both on and off the masthead at more than one lit journal, usually the only way a person on the masthead is reading your piece is if it goes to meeting. ‘Dear Editors’ is more accurate and the people whose ego you’d be stroking will probably never see the letter
@bullshitlit
BULLSHIT LIT
2 months
we all have limited time. if you're submitting work places, you should *at the very least* do the basic ten seconds of research to see who'll be reading your email.
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
3 years
@cardi_ree Let them be offended. There are worse feelings
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
1 year
@CowleyThom @_wohyeahwohyeah @Asim_2023 @gabriellindsay @AvaSantina @MJsquirrels Cis people using pronouns normalizes it so trans people don’t always have to be the ones to bring it up
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
2 years
@GoingByRenee This is so sweet
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
2 years
@JoGibsonWriter Are you kidding? I can’t even send him to daycare. I’m seriously considering unschooling. I can’t stand to be away from this tiny beautiful person for a minute. Except he does need to go to gd sleep
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
6 months
@dalaimo13 If poor people eat nice food sometimes, who will I feel better than?
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
11 months
@SaraSchon That’s funny because trying to assert superiority by putting you down is also unnecessary! And transparent. He would have found any reason
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
11 months
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
3 years
@davidanaxagoras @maggiesmithpoet This is going to be bothering me for days
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
3 years
@aubreyhirsch I once suggested house cleaning and laundry as items to fund in an arts application because it would free up like two days to write and the man I was talking to was like ‘that’s very middle class’. I’m in the UK where I must hang dry approximately 1000 baby onesies per week
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
2 years
Anyone wondering if I’ll leave Twitter should see some of the relationships I’ve stayed in
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
2 years
@Joanne_Lake @DrPragyaAgarwal With a weird tinge of personal responsibility. A man’s hair simply goes grey, nobody mentions it, but I’ve seen numerous articles about women ‘letting’ their hair go grey
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
2 years
If you only participate in one strike this year…
@dontpayuk
Don't Pay.
2 years
It's a simple idea: We demand the govt scrap the energy price rises and deliver affordable energy for all. We will build a million pledges and by Oct 1st if the govt and energy companies fail to act we will cancel our direct debits. Read more here:
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
3 years
@samatlounge This is just such an epic, drawn-out tantrum in response to restrained, appropriate criticism. Like
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
1 month
@ShandersWrites But he’s such a Good Guy, he loves her anyway
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
2 years
@ambernoelle Also if you don’t go to college and complain about not making a living wage it’s ‘If you want to make more money go to college!’
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
2 years
@ambernoelle Meh, the stuff I write now is better anyway
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
1 year
@mooninabucket Anyone else reminded of this?
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
1 month
@Gabino_Iglesias Tastelessness aside, they will later claim that backlist marketing and decent advances are outside the budget while spending it on this nonsense
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
11 months
@anummdmph @jcondenunez Unfortunately in the west there’s v consistent propaganda painting Middle Eastern men as misogynist brutes, so their tenderness as caregivers is surprising a lot of people
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
5 months
Frantically scribbling out ‘Iranian’ on all my query materials and replacing it with ‘Persian’ as I get ready for everyone to really start hating us again
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
7 months
Note to writers: making something easily readable is its own talent
@LJRossAuthor
L J Ross
7 months
Overheard in the pretentious reading corner of Twitter: “Yah, yah, I hate those ‘easy reading’ novels; they add nothing to the body of literature as a whole”. This, from somebody who has never written a single book; never thought about what reading means to people other than
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
2 years
@RaeHoffmanJager It’s almost certainly the 2 y sleep regression, I just can’t figure out the best way to support him and still have anyone in the house get any sleep! I can’t believe all toddlers go through this, the poor little things
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
5 months
@hering_david Oh no I have this one
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
6 months
@CDFoxAuthor ‘Playing hooky’ is the first that comes to mind, but I’ve heard calling in with hangover referred to as ‘24 hour flu’
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
2 years
Update: my little angel now says 'goodnight' in his little angel voice as I leave and chats to his stuffed dino until he falls asleep 🥲
@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
2 years
So you guys? Literally what do I do when my toddler doesn’t go to bed without tons of crying. Like, the crying is awful. But the trying to ‘support’ him for three hours had him asleep at 10 and up on repeat all night. He had under eye circles and got sick. What is the answer?
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
2 years
‘You have two pairs of eyeglasses: a regular pair and a “fun” pair’ I have been brutalized 💀
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
2 years
@alyssaknix Haha yeah he’s equally good at driving us both mad
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
9 months
If you’ve written a book, a whole book, you are not an aspiring author. You are an author. #amquerying #author #WritingCommunity
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@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
5 months
Just remembered that when I was about 6 I told my classmates that the chicken pox scar in the centre of my forehead was left from when I was a unicorn in my previous life🦄
@Roya_Khatiblou
Roya Khatiblou
5 months
What fictional character did you want to be as a kid?
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