Allison Burnett
@Allison_Burnett
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Screenwriter, novelist, film director. Pragmatic Progressive. Lover of history, collector of ephemera. Devoted father to two teenage sons.
Los Angeles
Joined March 2011
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BINI HOT SUMMER QUEENS
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For those of you who asked that my Noem Poem be made available on one page.
#KristiNoem
#KristiNoemIsAMonster
#KristiNoemIsEvil
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I love
#StephenColbert
as much as the next guy, but I cannot bear when he makes easy, stupid jokes about Biden being old or senile. It's a frivolity we cannot afford. We're in an existential fight for our democracy. These jokes feed the Right and normalize their lies.
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Buckle your seatbelt: I just heard from an impeccable FIRSTHAND source that
@MichaelAvenatti
's client's claims are true. The culture at Georgetown Prep was debauched and sexually criminal.Only a "gentleman's code" keeps it secret. Ideally this is the week that it ends.
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Kavanaugh said he was 18 in the summer of 1982, so drinking was legal. I just checked: Kavanaugh was only 17 that summer. And it doesn't matter because the drinking age in MD in 1982 was 21. There is no lie too large or small that he won't tell to be seen as perfect.
@MSNBC
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Children often carry a larger viral load than adults and are often asymptomatic. This means that once schools open, they will bring the disease back to their parents and grandparents. This is an absolute disaster in the making.
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The mass murderer at the Oklahoma hospital walked in the front door, carrying his AR-15. No one stopped him. Do you know why? Because it was legal. Open Carry makes it impossible to identify the bad guys.
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My friend is a respiratory nurse in a US urban hospital. A woman, recently returned from Italy, came in with all the symptoms of
#COVID19
. In order to test her, the doctors needed approval from the government. The Feds turned down their request. She was sent home.
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The word you’re looking for is “illegal,” you god damn invertebrate.
Susan Collins says President Trump's call for China to probe Biden were "completely inappropriate"
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What everyone is missing in all this
@MichaelAvenatti
bashing is that his client was telling the truth. How was he to know that her claims would never be heard and that the Left, its bourgeois credulity strained, would fail to champion her?
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#JulieSwetnick
is telling the truth because I know a firsthand source who was married to a douchebag who went to Georgetown P with Kavanaugh, and over the years he told her about the drinking, the drugs, the gang rape, the abortions -- and the Code of Silence.
@MichaelAvenatti
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She says more frightening to her than the virus itself is the government's response to it. The only explanation I can see is that
#IMPOTUS
is trying to keep the numbers down, putting his approval ratings and the health of the stock market before our well being. Truly terrifying.
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Thoughts and prayers are not enough. We need legislation!
Sending thoughts and prayers to DJ Khaled's wife's vagina.
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If Presidents are not allowed to accept personal gifts while in office, how is it legal for Trump to accept Rudy’s legal services for free?
@tribelaw
@MichaelAvenatti
@MSNBC
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I can’t imagine a more brilliant political ad. Impeccable. Devastating.
This video of Lindsey Graham shitting all over himself publicly is now at 893,000 views. Please continue to retweet.
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I can’t wait until the day Daddy gets crazier, and
@IvankaTrump
gently pushes back, and
@LouDobbs
calls her an
#Antifa
whore.
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All petty, partisan politics aside, I think we should follow Speaker Pelosi’s lead and beseech
@POTUS
not to risk his life taking a drug of dubious merit, which could prove deadly to a man of his age and obesity.
#savethewhale
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I pray there’s no multiverse. Only so much Gym I can take.
Gym Jordan is an embarrassment to Ohio, America, Earth, the Solar System, the Galaxy, and the known universe.
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Former prosecutor Joyce Vance on Hardball in regard to Trump: “My experience, Chris, is that the only people who attack prosecutors and the police are the guilty.”
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Nothing on Twitter has ever made me laugh to the point of tears like these comments from people who don't get the joke.
Nice weather has brought people out at the March to End COVID-19 in Cleveland today.
#EndCOVID
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Trumpty Dumpty.
#MoscowMitch
is a nickname that’s gonna stick. Now we need a nickname for Trump. Reply with your best nickname for Donald.
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In the ER with my 14-year-old son, but before they take out his appendix, they must test him for COVID. Right now. He’s moaning. Hideous to behold.
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The moment when Trump called Mexican immigrants low-IQ and may well have lost Texas.
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What sweet karma it would be for the spirit of Obama to haunt Trump in the form of a brilliant woman of color stomping his ass in front of the world.
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BREAKING: AT&T bans Trump from cellular service. His phone is now a clock.
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I’ve been saying this for years — that the only way to get the Right to reconsider its gun obsession is to have POC walking down our city streets legally armed to the teeth. I’m thrilled to see this.
Louisiana:
White folks with guns came out to intimidate BLM protestors — and support confederate monuments.
So the next day these guys came out - but ppl didn’t like it, even though It’s an open carry state.
The 2nd amendment applies to everyone...
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Even more shameful than the votes which almost all of the GOP reps will eventually cast against impeachment are their votes today, which say, "I am not interested in learning the facts. And I don't want the public to learn them either."
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You MUST watch BILL Maher’s Real Time on HBO this week. Duke Historian Nancy Maclean delivers a warning you haven’t heard before that every American needs to heed. Please RT.
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@nana63039561
I think it's denial, based on a lack of understanding of science and the magical thinking of a narcissist.
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Beto filming himself at the dentist doomed us to more of this nonsense. Brace yourself for Bernie's colonoscopy.
Good to be back in Iowa. Do you like my new workout shirt?
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Next up, the Pope and Betty White.
The Trump White House is dropping oppo on Anthony Fauci.
Let that sink in.
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Trump's ego is so pitiful that he will probably boast when his impeachment hearings gets higher ratings than Watergate or Iran-Contra.
Trump may not have had the biggest inauguration crowd, but he will definitely have the biggest impeachment hearings
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@DennisDMZ
Simple. He accepted intelligence against his opponent from a foreign government (a felony) and helped his team to conceal it, and then obstructed and continues to obstruct the investigation of said crimes.
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Hawley says he “will not bow to a lawless mob.” He will, however, lift his fist to one.
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I am in love with this tweet.
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Or freedom over jail. I’m happy with either.
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They just get better and better.
MY NEW VIDEO:
#OpenLetterToRepublicans
SOUND UP!!
We don't have to reach all of them, BUT we do need to reach some of them.
We need 20,000 retweets of this video.
Please make sure you watch to the very end.
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Michael Cohen told Nicole Wallace today that he thinks financial documents Trump illegally withheld from Letitia James in the NY case were seized at Mar-a-Lago. That’s why he’s so desperate to get them back. Because it’s obstruction.
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Everybody Knew. Good title for the book Bob Woodward began writing three minutes ago.
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@Pappiness
I can't believe he walked down the middle of the street, with a rifle around his neck, his hands in the air, and the cops drove right past him! In fact, they ordered him to get out of the street! Fucking insane.
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This time he explains his vote for Trump with the fact that 51% of America agrees with him. Last month, he explained it by shrugging and saying, "I'm a Republican governor." The truth is that he is an amoral coward.
STEPHANOPOULOS: Just to sum up. You support Trump for president even if he's convicted in the classified documents case. You support him for president even though you believe he contributed to an insurrection. You support him for president even though you believe he's lying about…
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In case you think the
@nytimes
is getting worse: In 1942 when the gov't first revealed that two million Jews had been killed by Hitler, the Times ran it on page 10. Editor Max Frankel called their reporting on the Holocaust "the century's bitterest journalistic failure."
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An analysis like this will never be intelligently considered by lovers of Marvel, for the simple reason that these movies do not inspire or even endorse self-inventory, adult introspection, and intellectual rigor. They're pure escapism, with all the fun and folly that implies.
Alan Moore, never one to mince words. HBD Uncle Alan! h/t:
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Based on my 30+ years working in Hollywood: The consquences to Will Smith will never be apparent to anyone, particularly him. The powers-that-be hate confrontation. Doors will close silently, opportunities will simply vanish. The price he paid will be forever unknown.
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People keep saying the GOP has no bottom. It does: Lindsey Graham.
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The purpose of the huge E. Jean Carroll monetary judgment was to ensure that Trump never defame her again. As it didn't work, the number clearly needs to be increased.
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@AliAdair22
@SalesmanOil
@MSNBC
And that he merely kissed Renate Dolphin. She said she never kissed him
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@elonmusk
I have never heard a single credible person say this. But I’ve heard dozens talk about the absolute unsustainability of the world’s current population and growth rate.
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Californians, we must work to make sure this woman wins Feinstein's seat in the Senate.
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When is the last time the flu and predictable deaths shut down emergency rooms all over the world?
Minnesota Republicans and Fox & Friends are focused on the important issues -- owning the libs by trying to convince people that coronavirus is really nbd
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@DonaldJTrumpJr
@realDonaldTrump
If you don’t believe her, believe your mom in her sworn deposition.
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@fred_guttenberg
@AOC
@BernieSanders
She’s right. In countries with multiple parties, she and all Progressives would not be in the same party as a man who voted for Iraq War and who worked to make it harder for little guy to go bankrupt.
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BREAKING: In scathing letter, Trump quits Hair Club For Men.
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I’m wondering if the real reason Trump holds super-spreader events is the narcissistic thrill of looking out on a sea of people willing to die for him.
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This week, a 16-year-old boy from my L.A. neighborhood bought a Xanax from a Snapchat drug dealer. It had been laced with fentanyl. He overdosed and died in his bedroom. Devastating. Teach your kids never to ingest an unprescribed pill.
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The Right is bankrupt in every way except tactically. I honestly think that the Left should ask itself, "What would the GOP do?" Every rep should be in lockstep, calling what Barr is doing a "Cover-up." Same with T's taxes. Repeat it ad nauseam. Oh, and start impeachment.
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It is not enough that you vote for Biden, you must make sure that every single person you know is registered and makes it to the polls as well. This is a fight for our lives.
#GoJoe
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Motherfucker, sure—but miserable coward too.
Look at this motherfucker just walk away when asked why Americans pay taxes and he doesn’t.
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People are freaking out over
@michelleisawolf
because she had the audacity to bring a gun to a gunfight.
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Let’s not take for granted what an impeccable campaign Biden has run. No gaffes, no drama. Win or lose, he comported himself with dignity, compassion, and grace—all the whole being an exemplar of COVID caution. No easy feat.
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Last year I drove to K McCarthy's sad home district of Bakersfield to buy something off Craig's List. A man answered the door. The woman whom I had spoken to on the phone was out. Her son had OD'ed on fentanyl that morning and died. Kevin will fight to reduce their SS benefits.
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Not sure it gets any more devastating than this.
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I’m gonna pay Barron to go to school for my son.
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When you are not an alcoholic and someone implies that you are one, you smile and assure them they are wrong. When you are an alcoholic and someone calls you one, you-- (Roll video tape.)
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@RadioFreeTom
She’s not saying the guy is probably an incel. You are. She’s implying that someone with such a bigoted and narrow definition of marriage might have trouble finding a woman to marry him.
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How about the millions of men who sit by, acting as though abortion rights were solely a women's issue, when, in fact, their own lives would have been drastically changed, if not absolutely wrecked, had abortion not been legal?
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Yes! Biden was hating on everything : homegrown fascism, billionaire tax evasion, lead pipes, planetary extinction, high unemployment, GOP duplicity! Where does the hate end?
This was the most hateful State of the Union in American history.
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Almost as satisfying as watching a bully get his ass kicked.
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@nana63039561
But in Italy everything is shut down. Here, the woman will just walk into the general population, few of whom understand the potential magnitude of this.
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To be fair, Trump’s been anti-testing ever since Eric’s first SAT.
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FREUDIAN SLIP: “No witness who was there supports that I was there.” Liars always slip up.
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Imagine if every journalist in America held their feet to the fire like this.
Hey US media folks, here, I would argue immodestly, is how you interview a Trump supporter on Trump's lies:
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That question chilled me. It was HUAC all over again. It was the Hollywood Ten forced to cite the First Amendment and refusing to answer.
Prof Karlan rightly refuses to answer who she voted for in 2016 because we have secret ballots for a reason.
#ImpeachmentHearing
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When I reflect on all that
#Biden
has endured in his lifetime, I think of this line from Keats: "Do you not see how necessary a world of pains and troubles is to school an intelligence and make it a soul?" The man grew a soul.
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Hawley now claims this was not a show of solidarity, but international sign language for “Slow Hand Job.”
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Tonight’s rally was like his wedding night. No one came but him.
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Poor Pence, he had no idea women even could finish.
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@PalmerReport
@Msb00mbastick
He was one of the ONLY lefties to predict Trump. I’m always interested in what he has to say.
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If you are not following this force of nature, start now. If not for his unflagging support, I would be languishing in the Twitter backwaters. He’s the best!
🇺🇸 The withdrawal from being off Twitter for week is something that really can kill you -- I cheated and checked in a few times.
🇺🇸 But I'm back and hope you'll following me to 120,000 followers
@electroboyusa
for a huge victory in November! 🌊🌊🌊
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@seauxdevine
I think he did the right thing. His birthday gift to his daughter is teaching her that you stand loyal to your spouse and don’t let people extort you out of that bind. His daughter knows he loves her. They can have their own celebration later.
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@theMRC
@ABC
@NBCNews
@CBS
@briansflood
Of course not, nihilist dolt. Our entire legal system is based on impartiality. Democrats put Democrats in jail every day. And same for the GOP.
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You know who never invoked the Fifth Amendment? Hillary. Not ever.
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No COVID, as expected. Surgery at dawn. Laparoscopic. Thanks for your good wishes.
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Eighteen years old today. In the blink of an eye.
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Somehow ignoring science and walking around spreading a deadly virus is seen as a lifestyle choice which we are expected to tolerate, even respect. It's bullshit. They're no better than drunk drivers and drive-by shooters.
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