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@realgirl_fieri

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40,957

wop genius. (she/her)

Nope
Joined March 2009
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
21 days
You should not take on life altering medical debt on behalf of an animal.
@allyzielinski
𝒶𝓁𝓁𝓎
23 days
what is an opinion you have about owning pets that will have you like this?
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
1 month
I had a coworker a few years back who said her fiance “doesn’t eat leftover food” so she had to cook every night and like, I truly think about it every day? I did not realize this was an option? Let alone a genre of person? How does anyone live to adulthood this way
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
27 days
What is the worst parenting advice you’ve ever actually tried? My friend swore that for long car trips leaving at the kids bedtime was genius because “they just fall asleep and sleep the whole way.” Friends, I dunno what I was thinking but I tried it. Lol. Lmao even.
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
5 months
Someone once gave me the parenting advice “teach your kids to love games where you can lie down with your eyes closed” and thus I have sold my 3 year old “pajama party” as a major reward for good behavior. Game is us laying in my bed watching TV and eating M and Ms.
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
4 months
Anyway I remember I was at the pool with my toddler and she got the drop on me, ran up the stairs, and slipped on the pool deck. My heart stopped. I was so scared. I picked her up, hugged her, checked her out. I talked to her about why she can’t do that. But an older lady saw.
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
5 months
What is the most boomer complaint you have? Mine is I think people take their dogs too many places for my taste and also I think everyone should be more punctual.
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
2 months
What is your one most specific friendship ick? Like something sort of harmless but you just know when you see it that that person isn’t your people. Mine is making being low maintenance an entire personality (these people are not actually laidback). It’s just so affected/tedious.
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
2 months
If you get married in your 20s and find yourself feeling a creeping dread that you made a mistake, but you’re scared of the embarrassment of being divorced young/a short marriage/not working hard enough at it, or even worried that it’s too late now, ITS NOT TOO LATE.
@fineassnayyyy
nay🦋.
2 months
Women who are 30+, please give 1 piece of advice to us ladies who are 19 to 29 🫶🏾
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
19 days
I rly vibe with Moana’s dad. Risk averse. Whole song about how great it is to stay home. Hero.
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
3 months
The thing that set in motion me escaping abuse was my friend Amanda saying “hey, I see what is happening here and I want you to know when you’re ready to leave my key is under my porch plant, day or night.” And then she watched me go back so many times until one day I showed up.
@IDontKn19947709
I Don’t Know
3 months
I am BEGGING y’all to read at least one book on domestic violence bc this isn’t being a girls girl, this is helping to isolate a victim further bc she didn’t respond how you wanted her to
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
1 month
I don’t care where Kate Middleton is really but I am very interested in how to disappear completely for months while making only vague allusions about returning to work girl drop the tutorial
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
1 month
Tooth extraction: here are 5 days of Vicodin, probably more than you need but def call if you need more Major abdominal surgery (c-section): can you try just Tylenol? come on don’t be such a baby, it’s basically a paper cut?
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
4 months
I needed that. And in that moment, I believed her. And by believing her, I believed in me. I kept trying, and it made me better.
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
11 days
They make shorts for women in their 20s and shorts for women in their 60s but if you’re in your 30s you either have to look like you’re vacationing on your AARP discount or at Myrtle for post exams someone MAKE US SHORTS
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
4 months
The paradox of having small children is that it is easiest to host the holiday because your house is childproofed and there is a place for them to sleep and it’s not like they really eat the food anyway so you have all the stuff they want but the holidays everyone actually WANTS
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
5 months
People in my mentions like “but couples spend more time with the wife’s family!” Do you think this just happens? Or is it because women are raised to be the keeper of the social calendar/default parent? If you don’t want this, raise your sons to share equally in all of that!
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
4 months
Stopped my husband. She told us we were doing a great job. She told us her oldest daughter was fast and willful and impossible to keep up with at the pool. She laughed and said she’s a competitive weight lifter now. She assured us that it would get easier every time we did it.
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
2 months
One of the things the English language is missing is a way to say “horrible, thanks for asking,” in a professional setting. Is it “oh, I’m hanging in there!” Is that the way.
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
4 months
What mid priced small life upgrade should I buy myself for my 37th bday
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
4 months
Mom groups: I don’t permit my kids any screens, non-organic and non-vegan food, we do all contact naps at the breast and wooden toys, absolutely no exposure to plastic! Same moms: Where is my village? No one will ever watch my kids! So disappointed in my family
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
4 months
What is something people generally love but you really hate? I hate pranks. I just don’t enjoy them, I have never seen one I thought was funny.
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
27 days
We drove our then 8 month old and 2 year old 9 hours to Ocean City and let me just say, they do not “just fall asleep” and getting to an AirBnb at 2am after a 9 hour drive and trying to transfer them to beds 😱 I still think about that decision haha. Unforced error.
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
4 months
For the rest of the day, every time we passed her, she told me it was slippery. She reminded me that my toddler had already fallen once. She said it constantly, loud enough for everyone to hear. I was there with my 2 little kids. It was our second time ever at a pool with both.
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
5 months
The boy mom discourse is WILD?? I have a boy and a girl and while I wouldn’t say I am gender-blind, I definitely don’t think about my son getting married some day any differently to my daughter? And if I do it’s never contextualized as some kind of loss? Are these people ok
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
4 months
I took them to the cabin to nap and I sat and cried. Did she think that chastising me, over and over, was the right thing? Maybe. Probably. Whatever she was getting out of it, though, it wasn’t primarily about making me a better mom. It was about her. The next day, another woman
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
5 months
What is your most hater parenting opinion? And by hater I mean a genuinely pretty nice thing that irks you. Here’s one: kids bdays that ask for donations to a toy drive. Saves me zero time bc I still have to bring a gift and should I also bring small item for your kid?
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
2 months
“Oh it’s Valentines Day? Lol I didn’t even know! I don’t care about that stuff, we love each other every day so it feels pointless.” “What do I even wear to an adult’s birthday? I haven’t celebrated mine since I was 12.” There’s an air of superiority in it and I don’t like it.
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
4 months
I was so nervous about it and that woman, going on and on about how I was doing a bad job, made me feel like I was right, that I COULDN’T do it. That everyone was staring and thinking about what a crap mom I was. She was so in my head. I grabbed my kids and I packed up.
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
5 months
Fellow parents: can we agree that unless someone has explicitly asked you for hand me downs showing up at their house with bags of your kids’ old stuff is an act of war
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
2 months
“I’m not a feminist, I just think structural sexism prevents women from accessing care, ultimately driving worse health outcomes, which is a different thing.”
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
2 months
What is the most backhanded parenting compliment you ever received? Mine was “awww I love that they will sit and watch TV! I wish my kids would do that. I am desperate for a break. But they have never even seen a screen, they wouldn’t know what to do with one!”
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
5 months
One of my most sacred rules of holidays is whatever crazy shit a new parent tells you about their kids’ sleep schedule, you treat it as immutable fact and don’t give them any shit about it. You can only come over from 10:30-10:45? Fab, I’ll have a to go bag packed with plates.
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
21 days
If rehoming to a family who can more readily afford care is an option, that is a good option! But potentially permanently altering your own financial situation for a pet is never a good idea.
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
3 months
Give an example of a parenting thing that is considered negligent when poor people do it and trendy when rich people do it
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
2 months
Seeing an L&D nurse judge new parents for utilizing the nursery after the physical and mental exhaustion of birth on the same timeline where I am seeing a video of a newly postpartum mom screaming and crying that she hates her baby these things probably aren’t related
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
5 months
Related to baby gates - I know I have lost this battle but I am actually not a fan of open concept houses. I don’t believe every person needs to always be in basically the same room. I would love to be able to close more doors, have a playroom, an office.
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
4 months
Also anyone who makes a RECIPE out of their leftovers? Cannot relate. I don’t need a turkey pot pie or a brisket Mac and cheese. The leftovers are already food! Put them on a plate and put them in the microwave and look, it’s food!
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
15 days
I remember early in my career getting the advice “don’t be the person something is always happening to,” and over the last few months it’s been haunting me as our family has crisis after crisis. I want to talk about how working parents have time poverty and the flywheel 🧵
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
1 month
Our baby doesn’t have many words right now, but he loves to consistently yell “Oh yeah!” And it’s hilarious. It’s like living with the Kool Aid man.
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
26 days
We have a new bedtime activity where we just put the baby and the toddler in the toddlers room and let them run around and we call it “running around” they love it
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
5 months
What is your hall of fame worst parenting advice? I think truly the biggest crock of shit in the whole canon is “sleep when the baby sleeps.” Lmao ok.
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
3 months
It must have been so frustrating for her. By the time I left, my relationship with even my family was starting to fray. Abusers work hard to isolate you. It was working. The few friends I ever saw were his. But she stuck it out and I’m probably alive and well today bc of her.
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
3 years
My favorite genre of tweet is when academics tweet about the basic realities of having a job as though they only exist in academia
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
4 months
When I am home, I spend a huge chunk of time cleaning - wiping, washing, folding, putting things away, processing clutter, sorting mail, donating and taking out discarded things. I spend HOURS on this and yet it looks like no one has cleaned in years.
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
3 months
I’ll start - basically any food-based treat. A chocolate croissant? Chic! A powdered mini donut? Child abuse.
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
2 months
There was a crying, screaming, wailing toddler on the red eye home. I had my headphones on. I turned them up slightly. I fell asleep. I don’t understand why people get on planes and act absolutely scandalized to hear human sounds, especially if they’re from a child?
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
4 months
The solution to moms being overloaded/burnt out cannot be heaping that onto their plate as another problem to solve. Like “well if you want your family to remember your bday here is a system of color coded sticky notes that you can do, here’s an exec function book to read,” NO.
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
4 months
One thing I truly view as a GIFT of parenting is the consistency/moderation it forces. My day starts at 7am, 7 days a week, whether I’m ready or not, and so I have naturally evolved to prefer things that will make me ready. I drink less. I go to bed earlier. I prioritize sleep.
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
4 months
@JanesAmerica That’s a good one! I always come up with the perfect thing to say about 4 days later in the shower.
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
3 months
I think the panic over little girls coveting skincare products and reusable water bottles is so boring like I also wanted items with cultural cache when I was 8? No one really bats an eye when parents drop $$$ on a PlayStation or whatever for their sons?
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
3 months
Childcare - Summer enrichment program that just happens to cover the entire work day? Love it! Daycare? Why did you even have children if you never see them?
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
4 months
There is a demoralizing aspect to everything you do being instantly undone. I do a full home declutter and laundry every Sunday. It takes me hours and hours. And by Monday night you would truly never know I did it. I think that’s what’s fueling my January burnout.
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
28 days
Since my dads accident it’s been very apparent that we have a specific discomfort with 30-50 year old women’s grief. I think it’s because it disrupts our ability to be of service, and that is how almost everyone relates to us. We are a set of tasks, not people.
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
5 months
Also gives me performative parenting vibes. You totally did this for the other parents in attendance and your own ego. Your kid didn’t suggest this, and if you want to teach them about giving, give your OWN stuff, all year long. It’s eye roll. I know. I’m a hater.
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
3 months
My mom asked me when I stop sanitizing bottles and sippy cups and I told her that once I saw the baby try to chew the cart handle at Costco like a corn on the cob the extra 30min in the dishwasher felt a little additive
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
4 months
I had a friend without kids ask me - genuine - if her relatives with a new baby were being over the top about RSV. And what I told her was, honestly? It doesn’t matter. Your newborn getting sick is a scary prospect at an already scary time. Being sent home with a new baby is
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
1 month
I am for once actually ASKING for advice and not just bitching, is there any way with two toddlers to not feel like the entire day is either making or cleaning up a meal. Are there hacks. I’m ready.
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
21 days
@sewistwrites I said what I said! Plus most animals who need care so expensive that it could meaningfully change the course of an owner’s life, that animal is not necessarily better off to receive that care if they can’t be rehomed.
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
1 month
@IBD_AGatlin That too - I really hate thinking about lunch and leftover dinner is usually the perfect quick thing
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
4 months
To have and finds enjoyable look nothing like what is actually possible at your house - it isn’t a quiet, relaxing, wine and gourmet food and relaxation and maybe some games and enjoying each others company kind of vibe. It’s loud and chaotic and no downtime until bed.
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
6 months
My breakup with the gentle parenting insta girlies was when Dr. Becky said you shouldn’t tell your kid something hurts your/others feelings because it teaches them that they are responsible for the feelings of others which is codependent
@emilykmay
emily
6 months
there are some parenting practices that research backs up as being more effective than others, but it is absolutely exhausting to be in a parenting culture where every sentence is nitpicked. If you tell your child, “good job,” it’s DETRIMENTAL to their DEVELOPING BRAIN like —
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
27 days
@Shelly_AF Drive while the baby drives!
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
2 months
You are too young to feel trapped. You are too young to be anything but absurdly, blissfully, exceedingly happy. If you don’t feel like you won the lottery MOST DAYS, don’t let anyone tell you that’s just what marriage is. It isn’t.
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
26 days
@clhubes This is what our son did! Almost exactly! It was wild. We tried to put Spotify on white noise so we just drove to screaming and white noise for like 5 hours I still think about it 😂😭
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
21 days
@andi1235 I don’t think anything about what I said disagrees
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
3 months
In my decade working for Girl Scouts, I can assure you that whatever little girls are into, there’s a cultural panic about what that means. Sparkly fashion dolls? Shallow. Princesses? Disempowering. Makeup? Too grown. Water bottles? Idk the reason on this one actually.
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
4 months
Y’all are so passionate about libraries and that’s wild because whenever I go to the library - which I do, often - it’s damn near empty. Unless this isn’t really about libraries and more about putting moms in their place?
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
27 days
@_samantha_joy I don’t know how people pull this off!
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
4 months
Montessori please stop sending me garbage bags of small pieces of paper that my child has like glued a green triangle to? A piece of paper the size of a babybel cheese with one brush stroke of paint? Is this trolling?
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
3 months
Gifts - $$$ event tickets for the whole family? Amazing! Affordable plastic noisy toys they’ll play with beyond one day? Off with her head.
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
3 months
Why are all the children’s activities during the workday? Like every dance class in my daughter’s age group starts before 5pm. Kids with working parents wanna dance and do gymnastics and stuff too!
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
3 months
@MissM_19 Omg this. It’s “crunchy” it you’re rich and “negligent” if you’re poor.
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
4 months
If your kids under 4 somehow seamlessly do this just please take the win and reply to someone else’s tweet.
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
5 months
@curlichel This will be my 13th reason. I literally had to download an app the other day in a city where I don’t live and will likely not return to pay less than a dollar to park.
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
18 days
The positioning of dogs vs kids is such a mask-off moment because dogs 1. Can be quite noisy. 2. Absolutely make messes. 3. Can be ill mannered depending on the owner. It’s not about access or peace of mind. It’s about who you exclude when you exclude kids.
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
4 months
Modern life makes it very hard to have a village! It’s probably not your fault if you don’t. But if you want anyone but you to watch your kids ever, you cannot have a million parenting rules that are unbreakable either.
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
4 months
Has someone invented a middle class family activity as elite as Pizza Hut buffet + Blockbuster yet or are my kids doomed to never experience true joy
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
3 months
@ChancyHales lol well, the thing about cost benefit analysis is that a gun can’t get me to work every day or facilitate the flow of commerce, its primary purpose is killing people. Be so serious.
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
4 months
100% of the time I decide my kid is fine, send to childcare, we are at the pediatrician by noon. 100% of the time I keep them home they are fever free and finger painting the walls by 9am. I am just so, so bad at this. I need more time to make these calls! I need booth review!
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
5 months
@sewistwrites Oh I hate that too, they’re CHILDREN. I don’t even like it when people do the “he’s gonna be a heartbreaker!” Or “wow, watch out for when she’s older!” Major major ick.
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
21 days
@MechBullRecords I’m glad you’re happy with your choices!
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
25 days
The thing about being a working parent is that you are always already on thin ice at work from the mundane (baby has conjunctivitis, toddler sent home with a fever, parent teacher conferences only during the day) so when something truly awful happens there’s no grace left
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
2 months
@CarissasNewLife I am a bad texter but I have actually implemented text catch up times on my calendar because I KNOW I need to do better
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
1 month
@AmarantaUrsul14 I wouldn’t even say it’s a problem if everyone is happy and can afford it, I just genuinely cannot envision throwing so much food away myself? Or expending so much time and energy on food daily? But I have different financial and time constraints than others!
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
21 days
When people talk about moms who “make motherhood their whole personality” it’s like baby if you don’t like it come watch these kids and I’ll go do a hobby
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
5 months
@epiphanist1248 Yes, let’s bitch about this! I want a menu I can hold. I don’t want to have to unlock my phone and scroll a bunch also my phone is always at 5%
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
5 months
Thinking about Kate Cox today. The same day I got an abnormal ultrasound for our son at 20 weeks, Roe was overturned. They couldn’t tell us anything that day. We had to come back in a week. I read about what they thought might be wrong with Jonah. It had a rare complication
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
5 months
@Shelly_AF I know, please give me content I can watch in the daytime without blackout shades
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
15 days
Time poverty is like financial poverty. The less you have, the more you start to pay loan shark prices. The dentist appointment you delayed for yourself is now 2 long appointments for a crown. The car maintenance you delayed is now an afternoon and 3 days with no car. The ear
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
5 months
If someone cracks the code on scaling sick day childcare, that person will be a billionaire. Our solutions now are so bad - like yes, grandparents but who wants to ask their senior parents to come willfully be exposed to illness?
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
4 months
“Kids are annoying!” Isn’t a good enough reason why they shouldn’t be accommodated. Most of YOU are annoying and you go out! Hating kids isn’t cute, and even if you tell yourself you actually hate parents, if you express it by pushing kids out of the public, that hurts the KIDS.
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
2 months
What random not at all sinister thing makes you immediately know your kid is about to get sick? Anytime my 3 year old eats her whole dinner, the Jaws music starts playing for me.
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
1 month
This is my kids’ dinner. It is: fresh produce. It is chicken made in the crockpot with some processed ingredients (what’s up Aldi salsa!). And it is a frozen side of rice. It is all fine, actually. I used what I had, what I had time for, and what we could afford.
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
21 days
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
5 months
Leaving the house with a new baby is like the craziest thing, it feels impossible, whatever hard won sleep victories you have feel SO precarious. Let them be wild eyed and spout nonsense. Give them a hot meal and tell them they’re doing great and keep it moving.
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
24 days
“I have no problem with children I simply can’t stand children who make noise OR children who make no noise because they are on iPad OR children who greet me bc I am an introvert OR children who don’t greet me bc that’s rude disrespect for elders. It is the parents fault.”
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
11 days
@cubanautismo I don’t want any of the shorts I mentioned
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
5 months
Followed only by “have a weekly date night!” Who can get a whole babysitter, once a WEEK? And afford it? And plan something they can afford in addition to said babysitter? And like no one is sick, no one is working on the shit they didn’t finish during work after kids bedtime?
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
2 months
@Gtwy Oh yeah that’s a bad one. I guess what I’m describing here are people who want you to KNOW exactly how little they care about something but do so in a way that makes clear they actually care a lot. Does that make sense?
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@realgirl_fieri
girl fieri
11 days
If you have carbed, caffeinated, and Adviled and it didn’t help do you just have to let the migraine kill you at that point
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