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@gardeningbabe
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♿️ gardener and artist 🫶🏻 use code TWITTER15 for 15% off your entire order! link ⬇️ to shop 🎨
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Pinned Tweet
opened my fortune cookie and i have so few words
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crying over Matt Rife on Tana’s podcast looking like an idiot
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“Woman Who Narrowly Avoided Awful Life Married To Rapist/Murderer Made It Out Unscathed And Is Doing Well, So Here’s Her Face, Information On What She Does, And The Insinuation That She’s Responsible For Murder”
@DailyMail
#goldenstatekiller
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@lilplantmami
re: the replies, know who has hours in the mornings sometimes before work? servers, restaurant staff, hospitality, entertainment, etc. having mornings to yourself is not an inherent marker of privilege
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@lilianamamaa
@tia_visagie
men are very sad they’re just conditioned not to cry. they start wars instead
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@hotpissers2
She’s so much smarter than anyone gives her credit for, especially with men, and I live for it
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@EyePatchGuy
@ActNormalOrElse
“I paid 15k for this picture! That other sucker just SAVED it!! LOL”
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@alysmd
all the things they hate about themselves are the literal coolest things about them. when I heard Lindsey Graham hired make escorts and asked them to call him Lady G? Easily the only cool thing about him
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“I wanna go off grid and live off the land” no you don’t you wanna grow like six things and buy pasta at the store
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there’s nothing i can say that hasn’t been said by smarter people but WOW is late stage capitalism bleak as hell
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@theericklouis
She didn’t want to have a kid in the first place. Now she’s been through the physical trauma of pregnancy and has a kid with essentially twice the needs of an able-bodied child. There are slim to no resources to support either of them.
That’s a real thing that’s gonna happen.
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@WSJ
Where do y’all get these writers from?? Are they from the boot licker factory directly or is there some sort of agency that provides them to you after qualifying that they love leather in their mouth
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@DanPriceSeattle
As a person who terminated their pregnancy in March 2020 because I was too broke despite working full time on my feet all day and still wants kids despite still being poor, sincerely, thank you.
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@Anc_Aesthetics
@mrice97
bro we literally can’t control our own reproduction in this country you are hiLARious! Lmfao *gynocratic* consider a career in comedy
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@Purple_Stormz
@uxtobiaf
So everyone deserves access to all your information/data just because you created that information/data? We shouldn’t create things because people will take them? Are you unwell?
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@blossomingabyss
@JoeBiden
Said the white girl using black emojis because...? Get in the sea
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@inhabitedgarden
@Sharronica
@markorscott
I want to see the gritty reboot where she’s a high-powered shoplifter
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@Sharronica
I remember that quote people used to share about how she used to have to choose between dinner and Vogue and she’d choose Vogue because it “fed her more”. Like being poor is a cute adventure.
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@AP
Weed does a lot of great things but it’s never once helped me RUN better
It’s definitely helped me eat nachos better but definitely not run
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@sam_chater
They’re having a blast and I love that for them but how could you not include the Tyler James Williams fit in this
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@theericklouis
If you’re trying to police how women are coping with potentially facing that reality, you’d do better to take a step back and let us deal however we need to.
This isn’t about you. Shut up.
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@joecastlebaker
@GianmarcoSoresi
This delivery would be genius if this was a joke but it’s not and somehow that’s better
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@KelgoreTrout
I was saying earlier that like, my brother has no debt and a good job that pays reasonably well and STILL has to have roommates. Like that’s a person who has zero family obligations, only income, no car payment. They should be FINE to live on their own. If they can’t, who can…?
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@aaronmedwards
marijuana has been the only consistent thing in my life in the last two years
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@TheIgboWolf
@tamera_va
I’m almost 30 and I already know I’ll never achieve this level of cool and that’s ok, she deserves it more
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@hannahposts
give a white lady an iPad and a drawing program and sometimes, unfortunately, this comes out
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@fshley
@JahsieA
@lilianamamaa
@tia_visagie
“you’ve never personally nailed a warlord??? checkmate!!!“
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This may or may not be a sign from an accident on the highway but either way it DID make me laugh
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@NikkiCallowayy
“Dependency” is also just “not being in pain” for a lot of people because weed is also straight up medicine. Like do I have a dependency? No. Am I managing constant chronic pain? You betcha
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While we’re all looking at this tweet, I’m a freelance writer so if you like my snark headline please DM me and I will write you whole articles with real ones thank you and goodnight
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@Zetaattlast
incredible way to tell on yourself that women your own age know you have nothing to offer lol
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@maggiemgilll
@cupidcaIs
Babe, you picked a frame from the literal Stepford Wives. That’s not what women ever looked like. It’s from a movie made not that long ago. “All us women” never dressed like this. Those are literal robot women in context
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@ehs06702
@pickleslay
Everyone wants the fantasy but no one wants to look at a history book 😑
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@erinisaway
He’s having the time of his life. It’s like watching a kid win the lottery and buy like comically dumb stuff except the stuff is The Most Famous Women. I love it for him
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just want to apologize to anyone i busted for shoplifting while working retail. i should have just let you do it my apologies
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@Purple_Stormz
@uxtobiaf
In that case, can I have your credit card? You own it & you may have shared the info with people you trusted, sure, but I want it. By your logic I should be allowed to take it and give it to as many people as I want. Give me your credit card
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@ABC
Can y’all stop covering a clearly mentally ill black man and start covering shit that people actually need to know & isn’t harmful or divisive? Thanks so much
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@jayparth_
Babe we have enough problems getting our meds you don’t have to contribute to the stigma like I promise it’ll be fine
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@margaritaevna95
a good rule of thumb for anyone reading this tweet is if the world healthcare is in quotes, reconsider following that advice lmao
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if you laughed at this you’d probably like my artwork plz go consider buying from me for gifting this year instead of like, temu 🫶🏻 my lil disabled ass is broke everything is 25% off!
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@BradStone
He fully missed any romance, by the way, which is actually a great indicator of why he’s divorced now lmao
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When you find out your fellow reindeer are using cleansing wipes & apricot scrub.
@CarolineHirons
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@freeallison_
@RandyTreibel
@evolutionarypsy
@carryonfolks
Like you’re not that traditional if your dress was made by a Chinese 6 year old
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fellow adult stoners who care about the way their home looks: do y’all have any visible ouid things out or displayed anywhere? do u have a cute storage method? tell me ur ways I am trying 2 make design choices while keeping the trees nearby/easily accessible in my living room
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@Forbes_Carbines
@lilplantmami
she wasn’t trying to win a most impressive marriage contest Frances
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baby showers are nice but i definitely also deserved an abortion shower
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@JLight256
@Mistress_Raven_
@JustMaraHere
She’s bi so she certainly could lol. That was literally her point. Most men aren’t this.
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@sleepmancer
@ymmayer
Is shocked you never went skiing and insists it’s actually not that expensive
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@halsartsy
@soundofsarcasm
@FleischmanSteve
@Slightlylyons
@karendbudde
@deadeyebrakeman
Right? Our country was founded by people in their twenties who didn’t use toilet paper, lets stop pretending you need eons of wisdom to run this. The Founding Fathers were scrappy young people who wanted a change. We’ve forgotten that.
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@DoZay1
@DailyLoud
He said he would let people die by neglecting cpr unless they were a hot girl, and that’s probs so he could make money off of selling her so uh
no, I don’t feel bad
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@ellieq
coffee is a drug & only valuable/so widely loved bc our society requires us to be hyper awake to squeeze the most labor value out of us. we don’t love coffee, we need it bc capitalism asks too much of us
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just gonna leave this here
Hey y’all, so I mentioned earlier that I’m tryna garden my lil ass off this spring & share it with y’all, but am still looking for work. Friends said I should drop the gardening/seed/bulb wishlist, so if you want to make my fucking Christmas, here ya go:
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@theashleyray
Ok but have you literally ever had a conversation with a person from Gen Z who’s not online as hell???? Because I worked retail in the past year and the Gen z gals I worked with were just cool and queer and not extremely online at all
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Philly’s making Airbnb hosts get official licensing from the city and the gig economy landlords on the Instagram post are crying and that seems like a great omen for the coming year tbh
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@Leighbra
@afroelven
vital life lesson: it’s not worth going to the ravine with jay bc u will get mouth gonorrhea
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@credenzaclear2
i definitely do it because I want to and not bc I’ve been sick and out of work for years and the American healthcare system is a nightmare and it allows me to buy groceries & “pay me bc I’m hot” is a way to make it sound less dire to potential customers
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you tryna harvest wheat my brother?????? you tryna churn some butter??? good bc that’s all you’re gonna be doing. also if you suck at it you’ll starve through winter and die
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@AITA_reddit
A 51 year old man and his influencer girlfriend. He’s the asshole I don’t even care what he did
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@bariweiss
@uaustinorg
We got sick of complaining about how broken higher education is. So we decided to do something about it.
Announcing a new university dedicated to the fearless pursuit of truth:
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@theericklouis
Coping with a horrific reality through humor is a thing. The child is not the butt of the joke. The system is. The willful misunderstandings in these comments whew
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Okay, so it does feel kind of cool to be up at the top of this tag with true crime queen
@GHardstark
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@discodeewanthey
@eternallyraquel
@kirkxxs
i watched it in real time in college and it is the wildest television program strap in
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@cheechablunt
@Nickelodeon
That walkout, and
@Nickelodeon
honoring it, is being done so that one day, your kids won’t have to run out of their school because there’s an active shooter inside, or, god forbid, walk in and never get the chance to walk out. This is shameful as hell.
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@TaraYarla
@likaluca
I struggle with brain fog and persistent fatigue from fibromyalgia and I cannot express how difficult it makes your life. Every day is a toss up. Imagining people having to deal with it because the government failed to protect them is absolutely criminal.
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