no country for old crow 𓅃
@dylunsohelo
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jantzen beach store manager;🛌 📈™️ he/himb O))) cashapp/venmo: @ dyluns
can't see quite far enough pal
Joined December 2019
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blocking every promoted post until they get reeeeeeal weird
wish me luck
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the painkiller regimen for a slightly overweight chiweenie is enough to paralyze every member of your average midwestern town's police force
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@SheRatesDogs
"pretending to be sorry worked for me one time why isn't it working now? please respond."
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since the animal care industry wants to cut off my hands with a dull knife soon after i lose my job i guess i must mention money apps are in bio and it shouldn't cost $1800 out of pocket to *maybe* save your little baby's life. sheesh.
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@hausofdecline
weird guy in the 60s: yeah, that jimmy stewart guy should not be in 1652 period piece. he definitely has the physiognomy of a guy who has heard the beatles.
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alright, that's probably enough. skin staples are normal for dogs and people and fentanyl is also normal but having a sticker that said fentanyl made me laugh. please continue to be normal, everyone, but somewhere else 😗
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@OkButStill
the guy has some good stuff for sure but this quote makes hopsin sound like socrates
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(we dealt with great people and they were good to my pup but man oh man the numbers game is rough these days)
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@coherentstates
she's also the best dancers at the music festival and has the dance stamina of a 22 year old on a heroic dose of molly
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@spinach1983
i believe it is *stapled* to her skin specifically to dissuade me from doing so
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@notviking3
@blacknghostly
@andrewthe_eagle
i got evicted from my first dorm and ended up shuffled into a dorm like this, and ten (god, eleven?) years later the people i met there are still my best friends in the whole wide world
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i love her so much but i get so mad when she cruises into the bedroom having had a few spiked arnold palmers, forgot tea had caffeine in it, talks my ear off at 4am, smokes a bowl, takes a klonopin, and then just says out loud, "fallin asleep now," and immediately snores. jealous
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@ObeseChess
all else aside bob didn't really explain stuff super well which is why i blocked him
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every year man i swear they're shortening the twix
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@edgar_a_bitch
no see he's a genius and ahead of the curve by not knowing anything about heavy machinery safety or right of way permits and its 5D chess and i don't understand sunk cost bias and i need him to succeed so i don't have to examine myself and my behaviors god i am so scared i am so-
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@JaysonDavidBoyd
@alan_mustache
this is the one. i don't even pay my dog the same disrespect.
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@thechosenberg
the biggest issue with polyamorous lifestyles has never been a moral one and was always one of logistics. as an outsider with some poly friends i've always been like "how many people do you expect me to meet holy crap" but i cannot fathom the mental energy needed when living this
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ever since joining this cult i have experienced increases in my monetary income, muscle mass, sexual stamina, and intellect. i have the bird cult to thank for my new lease on life and know that without falcon based derivatives i would surely be asleep in a gutter in crescent city
If you guys (all of us) can stop goofing around for like five seconds strung together, then maybe, just maybe, people would get the chance to take us seriously as the gnostic bird-based high finance lifestyle cult we wish to present to the world
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@InternetHippo
next feature: posting will be removed as a function of the site. you will only be able to watch elon talk.
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thinking about calling the police what do you think
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@Liv_Agar
i will not milk the tribble i will not milk the tribble i will not milk the tribble i will not milk the tribble i will not milk the tribble i will not milk the tribble i will not milk the tribble i will not milk the tribble i will not milk the tribble i will not milk the tribb
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get yourself together. move to philly. buy a loft. start a noise band. get six or seven roommates. eat hummus with them. book some gigs. paint. smoke cloves. listen to animal collective. start some type of salsa company.
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just got canned 😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎
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@birdbath
my coworker has told stories of an aunt with a broken picker that exchanged letters with a prisoner and apparently though it was not all good she married him and he treated her better overall than the other exes
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@notviking3
@blacknghostly
@andrewthe_eagle
it is not quite eleven, and i also dropped out, so it's not as dire as it probably sounds
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things i do not see:
-playstation 5
-a drum set
-bottle of blanton's
-dark blue american spirits
-healthcare
-sunglasses
-belt sander
-9/11 rug
-standing mixer
-dogs and cats
-sour gummy worms
-henry kissinger's obituary
-a canoe
-bulletproof tiger reunion tour
-reliable internet
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@JUNlPER
me and my friends would have beaten the emoji orb with hammers i can tell you that much
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@compassion_usa
@davenewworld_2
if that were the case, the owner has their own responsibilities that do not involve the tenant, and if you are playing that close to the wire with such dependence on someone else's money, maybe you can't be trusted in a role involving stewardship of resources.
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there's a person who apparently has taken smoke breaks in the same place long enough to make this, notable only because i have frequented a nearby spot for almost a year, ash elsewhere and have not made a single mark in the sidewalk yet. any concrete scientists want to weigh in??
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@Pinko69420
love me a man who can hold tf out of a device, bonus points if he has a decent handle on gadgets, too
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white boy STUNS waiter by fumbling a baddie due to undiagnosed or misdiagnosed mental illness trauma & grief requiring years of cognitive behavioral therapy strategic manipulation of home & work environments & trial and error with medication but then records a lo-fi album instead
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m y a t t e m p t t o p r o m o t e m y s c a m i s a l i t t l e l e s s e n t h u s i a s t i c t h a n m o s t o f t h e o t h e r p o r n b o t s b u t m y p u s s y c a n s t i l l b e f o u n d i n b i o i g u e s s i f y o u s t i l l c a r e
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@numetal_moment
a lot of people who take the time to squint and read my shirt somehow have no idea what the implications are of the statements on my shirt but often go, "hah, yeah man"
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@BarrelJumpist
if by all recorded metrics the economy is fine but the people that make the economy move are suffering categorically more and in greater number than it is simple to surmise that perhaps the metrics do not measure the right things and need to be rethought from the ground up maybe.
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BREAKING: [insert almost any country] is experiencing record shattering heat events. we live in a hell that was created by a small pool of people who have had their brain chemistry altered permanently due to wealth accumulation. they have the same weaknesses as normal people btw.
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@ByYourLogic
man definitely was packing serious hog and they wouldn't confirm it. unacceptable.
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i'm gonna be awake for the rest of my life after this and you just get peace. how dare you. its incredible.
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airbnb has been taken down by a concentrated effort from a network of specially trained arabian hunting falcons
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@notdylm
would love to see a shot for shot remake of this movie with everything remaining the same except jack nicholson as batman and michael keaton as the joker
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boomers are so weird man. i went dumpster diving and found a bunch of family photos, and i kinda knew the lady who lost her business, so i reached out to her saying i was sorry she lost the shop, and offered to handoff pics. the FIRST thing she says is "the business did NOT fail"
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@hausofdecline
a similar thing could be said of ohio, and if we want to get into cities i would love to know how the sacramento area produced cake, death grips, and mr. bungle because that's quite a varied and unique spread of musicians
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does anyone know of a sensitive white boy who is full of soup
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me, at tobacco town: three packs of the dark blue please
clerk, nursing a steelers mug, flirting: you are covering your face *gestures at my mask*, are you twenty-one?
me, 8 ounces of coffee, 30mg XR adderall and one dose of miralax deep, about to shit my pants: i'm thirty-four
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she got really annoyed when i called her "four drugs" but ultimately understood i think. this was before she effortlessly drifted off to blissful sleep that remains uninterrupted by the frozen apocalypse unfolding outside. the pacific northwest was not built for this midwest shit
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@TyMoIsSecret
@RyanMarino
strangely soothing aura from a normally very anxious pup, yes. i'm seeing colors rn
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@DevNullSA
not to get all political but i'm going to become a terrorist if things don't get better soon
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@pthelo
i guess if they can't diagnose or treat her for less than $1800 they can at least make her comfy (she is still not comfy)
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had a hell of a fit that day tho so not a total loss
just got canned 😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎
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every single rental is like "tenant does not have usage of garage" or "fully furnished" and i'm like dawg i know you're losing your ass but i don't want to store your shit where i live and i dont wanna live in your failed airbnb get a real job you greedy greedy bitch, cripes sake
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"so they provide sovereign entities and falconers with falcons and falcon based financial products, t. it looks like a cult but they dont do weird sex stuff i dont think. their leader drives all over california to get surgeries because docs think he's addicted to getting surgery"
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@TheOnion
if one does not find this at least a little bit humorous i would stop to wonder why follow the onion or any other satire publication at all
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@prettycritical
i mostly just print stuff and move it from room to room in an office and tell real estate agents that they have to keep waiting for things that they want
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funny that the solution to a wasp nest is war criming them
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thrifting report:
- vintage crock pot NINE DOLLARS
- yellow tommy bahama quarter zip sweater EIGHT DOLLARS
- pirate dice game with a leather flask holder ONE DOLLAR
- several VERY COOL shiets
there is no better place in the world than a thrift store that w/ no internet presence
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@GarbageApe
i mean, if he's got the humiliation fetish that he seems to have you kind of have to accept that he is literally doing better than anyone else alive ever has in that particular department, especially considering that the hits keep coming and they don't stop coming and never will.
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getting really into normie coded things and accidentally getting my life together, as a bit
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18⁰F, "feels like -1", neighbor's tree looking at my roof like it's a nice snack, self locking drop lock gate blew open, clattering and clunking, had to stick a screw in it, wearing her leggings under my pants for warmth, and still, she sleeps. ashtray blown from the windowsill.
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didnt have "former mr. bungle sax player is charged with murder" on my bingo card but considering that we started the year off with the "naked bass pro shop aquarium" guy followed closely by the "trapped from the waist down in a big urn at a wedding" guy 2024 might be a weird one
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i am never going to buy this stupid jacket stop trying to get me to buy this stupid jacket it's a stupid jacket and i am never going to buy it stop
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@maggiecsiebert
not sure how or why i saw this post but i'm just dropping in to say i'm disappointed that no one has mentioned Jellyfish yet c'mon people
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thinking about a really big sandwich and eating a really tiny sandwich
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currently having a smoke outside
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@FalconryFinance
in exodus, israelites are described as an enslaved minority in egypt, who, after the moses, the 10 plagues, and 40 years of exile in the desert, reach and conquer the promised land of canaan. why the state of israel would manufacture such a parallel is a bit puzzling dont u think
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@heykelvinsays
@mattrorabeck
seems like you might be intentionally trying to steer the conversation away from a very reasonable central point to distract people, and that's a shame, kelvin
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not normally one to use this term but this calls for an exception in that this is incredibly based
Alright if we’re talking great Conan bits… how about when the NBC drama went down and he knew he was walking away so he introduced increasingly expensive farewell characters
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