Niyociluc Shogdunulv
@birdbath
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Over the carnage rose a voice prophetic
Joined February 2010
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My female cousin has been exchanging letters w/ prisoners for years, every time one gets out her dad & brothers stand guard at her place or take her away for awhile. They've spent thousands on home security systems. Nobody asks her to stop writing, they accept the nature of women
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Trying to order Dominos but can't remember my password. GF says I don't need to login. I NEED the reward points you bitch. Realizing none of my ancestors have ever gone through this, an indescribable loneliness permeates my mood. I've been sitting at a green light for 30 seconds.
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"What do you call a group of white guys talking? A podcast!" *crickets from my zoomer coworkers, no one looks me in the eyes* "Okay, how about a group of black guys?" *their ears perk up, sensing I may say something offensive enough to get me fired which at this point in my…
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My ex once texted me saying she found the brutal fetish porn folder on my laptop & that we needed to talk, I replied with that gif of Michael Jackson eating popcorn. She knew that meant I was dissociating & Michael represented my detached psyche, the place I go in my head as a…
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Just visited my friend in prison, says a lot of big changes have happened. One inmate knows how to get free 23&me tests so everyone got one & now they switched the gangs from being purely race-based to being determined by haplogroups, there's war between R1b & non-R1b whites. He…
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When I was broke I'd often scavenge partially smoked cigs from communal ashtrays outside apartment complexes. Some guy must've noticed what I was doing because soon there'd always be a few half-smoked Camels left for me. After awhile I discovered he's an unhygienic weaboo which…
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This isn’t Nietzschean, it’s not late-stage capitalism, coffee shops became an effeminate humiliation ritual instead of a place to go between smoking cigs & solving crimes, & your girlfriend is hot but you keep pulling out despite having over $2k saved. Foucault talks about this.
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Bro chill it’s just like Adderall except you smoke it & then become compelled to strip copper wires & collect scrap metal, it’s very lindy hunter/gatherer. Sometimes you might have to kill someone
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I love when beautiful women have imperfect teeth. It's exotic, each set is unique. America's obsession with straight, pearly whites via orthodontics is a false signal of health, a conformist revision against God, melding the individual's dental expression to collective sterility.
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Advice for young men in a rut: Visit various restaurants, find one with cute girls working there, apply for kitchen job, do roid cycle, acquire coke from darknet, bang the sluts, realize the futile nature of modernity, abuse stims while doing shrooms, write existential smut novel
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@realityspammer
Whoa thank you. For long time I had a sort of astral parasite blocking & filtering a portion of my auric field to the detriment of my throat chakra, though i think it lead to enhanced visual creativity. After i was able to clear it, i found written expression to come more easily.
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Why are you as a man going to a dispensary? You should be supporting small business by going to a scuzzy guy's dingy apartment who's watching Archer on an Xbox 360, staying longer than you'd like, the interaction imbuing you with such ennui that you consider a HVAC apprenticeship
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Men be shopping for pure domestic cocaine on the darknet like how girls scour The Real Real for the perfect summer blouse that's long enough to cover their stick & poke flower thigh tattoo but revealing enough that she feels scared walking past Pakistani man sitting on milk crate
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I was in an Uber ride share & some guy who was totally wasted clambered in, barely able to sit upright. When the female driver made a turn he sat up straight & cocked his head, then said with fatherly authority “Your power steering fluid is low” & proceeded to sexually harass her
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Porn is only bad because most men consume it like fast food. I watch tasteful European shit where the man knows misery awaits him & he actually yearns to be the viewer instead of the penetrator. Or I edge to femdom & then go out in the world extra misogynistic to settle the score
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Grimes is Taylor Swift for technofascists & so-called Catholics who never forgave Lana Del Rey for dirty-bulking. There's your clickbait pop culture references, now, as for the archangels gnawing at my soul's periphery, begone! I'm protected by a shimmering purple shield of light
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if you've heard someone say "it's just the same thing over & over" while listening to techno/house music, just know they'll probably have to reincarnate at least 100,000 times more before having a shot at escaping samsara.
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The popularization of microdosing is a psyop to normalize subtle alterations in consciousness, so when they unveil psychobiological energy weaponry your mind will be pliable & accepting of manipulation, your pineal gland's hymen already broken. I macrodose to stay one step ahead.
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You're not in love. It's just a chemical reaction, we're all just a bunch of molecules. This gun is just atoms, money isn't real. Empty your pockets & show me your gf's nudes. Ugh, tell her next time not to shave. I have this theory that women only started doing that after…
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Men go to Thailand for SEX. Women go to Bali for SEX. I go to Sephora on a 5 day nofap streak to immersively contemplate whether the circus of modern female companionship is worth the agony. Then I pop over to Bloomingdale's to catch glimpses of women trying on shoes, conflicted.
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I lied, I don't have ketamine. Take a seat we're gonna watch The Cleveland Show with our full attention
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SolBrah’s facedox proves he’s Polynesian, Māori, or another naturally melanated ethnicity, which betrays his key marketing ploy of being a lean white guy with a great tan. I find this far more scandalous than BAP being a Jew who jacked a rugby player’s fizeek pic from a gay forum
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Oh man, I never thought the CIA would use online communities like Milady & Urbit to form a convergent network of disaffected high-IQ schizos/autists. But surely they wouldn’t incentivize or entrap e-girls with multigenerational PTSD to serve as libidinal honeypots aiming to break…
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Trying to get w/ this girl on Grailed who's been selling me Japanese denim on the low, but she says it would be weird being with a guy with the same fashion sense, waist size & leg proportions as her ex who beat the shit out of her. I explain that I'm more psychologically abusive
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Always disappointing when you meet girl who claims to be INTP & then you find her Instagram where she clearly has social life w/ plenty of friends. Like damn I was hoping you were more lonesome & vulnerable, ready for me to be the central focus of your little world. Fucking whore
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Don’t mind her, that’s my wife. She always passes out like this when she mixes gin & benzos. Beneath her sloppy mid facade is an inexplicable force that promises me a most cathartic annihilation of self. If you take issue with me edging to her comatose body, find a different iHop
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When people tell me they don't watch TV, I say "watch out we got a badass over here" & when they say they do, I call them a redditor. I only watch torrented foreign films on my projector, they're shit & I don't enjoy them. Idk why I do this to myself, or why I push everyone away.
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Strolling along the vegan bourgeoisie part of the city with a Tinder date who accepts my 5’10 stature as being close enough to 6’ with extra insoles in my shoes. Everyone around here wears clothes that seem to be washed after each use and I wonder if they can pick up hints of my…
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I have a friend who's addicted to coke, always blowing his nose, sinus issues. I implore him to smoke crack but he fell for the Zionist psyop that it's niggerish. If you source coke from a reputable darknet vendor & freebase it yourself, it's like inhaling the philosopher's stone
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The barista let out a soft sigh when I changed my mind, requesting almond milk instead of oat. I wanted to hop the counter & rail her from behind right where she stood. In reality I simply input a $.69 tip while glaring at her with sanpaku eyes. Therapy's taken the dog out of me.
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After I heard that rappers hold their pee in after drinking lean to make it hit harder, I started doing the same thing with coffee. I was about to piss myself on the subway in my light-wash Japanese denim so I discreetly hunched over & released in a Gatorade bottle I…
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A girl lived with me for a couple years. She quickly befriended my neighbors, making me seem less strange & gay. We often had loud, violent arguments that bled late into the night. I'd step out for a cig & my chainsmoking neighbor would often be out there too, just a stone's…
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Any mixed-race highschooler can grasp my tweets. I'd suggest reading up on U-Net architecture, latent space, bitcoin as time & aperspectivism, lest you completely miss the language patterns unfolding right in front of you. Picrel, typical storyboard for crafting each of my posts.
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A shy girl clutches textbooks against her chest as she walks tentatively through the school hallways. The class turbo Chad senses immense depths of beauty lie within her modest facade so he attempts to get in touch with his sensitive lover side to win her affections, but he…
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I am, how you say, addicted to ze internet, but in a way that is hmm, less gay than you.
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Too autistic to experience teenage romance, too schizophrenic from mixing acid & stims while listening to AM radio all night, I invented a new yoga system. Perfect disposition to do freelance cabinet resurfacing, it's good money. I still think of the handjob I fumbled junior year
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Ass or tits? Why, I've never pondered such a lewd dichotomy. Once when I was young, I was hiding in my older sister's bedroom closet when her & her boyfriend came in. I watched as she asphyxiated him with a belt to the point where he briefly lost consciousness. When he came to he…
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You don't understand, that girl with the Doc Martens, high-waisted stretch denim & septum ring was the one, I'll never find anyone else like her! (She was kind & gentle to me)
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If a girl smokes a cig when no one's around, she's ran through. But it's a Schrödinger's cat situation, you won't know until you put Airtags on her car, follow her around, & case out her apartment. Doing all that, you may realize how stalking in itself is a greater sexual thrill.
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Pussy from a girl who doesn't know how to drive or ride a bike, who overlooks the fascist doctrines you espouse in front of her nonbinary friends because she knows Dasha follows you which is the NYC sexual marketplace equivalent of owning a '23 Ford F150 Super Duty in the midwest
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Sam Hyde telling his fans to be electricians/plumbers instead of trying to make it as a creative as he did is like me telling the freaks who DM me to learn Python instead of honing the art of schizo-posting as I'm neck deep in trans girl ass, I mean cisgender e-girl feet, I mean,
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A street magician told me to pick a card, any card from his deck, which I did and gave it back to him, then he said “Is this your card?” But he just pulled out his phone and showed me a picture which seemed to be me jerking off from the POV of my smart TV. Before I could explain…
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You think the great philosophers got their ideas by reading other philosophers? No, they'd marry the most hysterical woman they could find, align her period with the moon, have her gaze into a handheld scrying mirror facing her clit, & then write down her stream of consciousness.
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She's the type of girl who, upon finding a handful of loose fries in the bottom of the bag, exclaims something like "Scooby fuckin Doo". That's my partner in crime. Without revealing too much, let's just say we buy halfway decent coke in non-insignificant quantities, cut it to…
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Twink death? Bro, that's my 15 year old cousin. He's just retaining excess water from his anti-schoolshooter meds. & he's not dead, he's just on a slowed+reverb consciousness from the pressed xans I traded him for his bmx bike. Look, he's choking on his vomit lol. Dude can't hang
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I'm not addicted I just need to smoke weed to numb the festering angst within me about my life trajectory while also amplifying the terror from the undeniable onslaught of electromagnetic frequencies constantly coursing through me. I may have a problem with amphetamines, however
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Got roped into riding horses at an equestrian ranch with my gf & her dumb cunt friends. We plodded lazily around the fenced-in pasture as they giggled about how their smartwatches were counting these as steps. Each bump on the saddle was like a light slap in my shrunken balls…
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There should be an app where you pay like $15 to sleep in the back of someone's car for a night. Normalize having babies anonymously. Women don't owe me anything, but I am worthy of love. Walkable ethno-states. I had truly obsessive suicidal ideation at age 7 & kept it to myself.
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@TheCigsBrand
She took 4. I've done the equivalent of a full sheet before (liquid vial), look at my posts they are perfectly coherent.
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I notice the guy in line in front of me has slightly wider shoulders & I think he can sense me noticing. Thinking on my feet, I yank my wife’s elastic waistband towards me at the front & peer down into the abyss & I see breakcore montage of all the tense sexless nights we’ve had…
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My sober self deliberately ordered this oversized Snoopy costume which my tinder date & I both got inside of while on ketamine & I had a panic attack from being so confined within the synthetic materials. This gave her "the ick". I can see into her bedroom from a parking garage.
Forgot I got drunk and ordered this…..so….here you go…
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Looking at this before doing a key bump & driving home after 7 whiskey sours & a pint of Guinness, then waking up my son in the middle of the night to teach him proper penmanship
Had our sons handwriting engraved onto a keychain for my husband and it’s definitely my favorite gift this year
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A butterfly flaps its wings, a darknet vendor changes his MDMA formula & now I'm ousted from my local music scene for giving the sound guy's little sister some meth/bath salt concoction that had her frothing at the mouth (she later admitted she mostly enioyed it). I was already…
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If I were egirl consultant I'd tell them to go by an alias like "wnba yungcunt" & stream themselves reading Jack Kerouac & Mishima novels aloud for hours at a time & react to fatal liveleaks in a numb, ashwagandha way. These are likely projections of my unintegrated Jungian anima
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Preferring small breasts signals high IQ as it indicates your gf will require less calories to be satiated in an economy where a sandwich is $18. Now consider the ample breasts common among the Ashlenazi Jewess population. Mere coincidence how Jews own the banks & porn industry
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Homeboy said "Yepperdoodles" in response to my inquiry if he had brought the percs I requested. I clutched his skull with both hands & kissed him on the mouth to remain in good favor with him. He could've been anything, manager of a Starbucks, solar panel technician, Asian…
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Showing my gf around my hometown, “Yep, this is my old stomping grounds... Come on in, I'll show you my stomping house,"
Underestimating the strength of my quadriceps that I maxxed out by commuting everywhere on a BMX bike after losing my license due to a series of DUI's which…
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I love winter. Every time it snows I make $40 shoveling an old lady's sidewalk. Then I run to the gas station to procure cigs, scratch-offs & a Steel Reserve. When she dies she'll leave her Roth IRA & million dollar home to her son who'll make it an Airbnb, & then I'll demand $50
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Instead of fasting on linear timescale of 8:16, just wake up & see how long you can last drinking espresso & smoking hand-rolls before caving in to your flesh to silence the flighty agitations of spirit. During this time you may see God in a lengthy conversation with the post-man
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During Covid lockdowns, my friend invited me to a group meditation that was held in a park due to gatherings in indoor spaces being banned. I had been using quarantine to do a deep introspective journey via solo acid and Robitussin trips, so i figured this would be an opportunity…
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My friend in Ireland was eating nachos & a refugee asked for some, he replied with mock contempt "That's nacho cheese!" The refugee, not understanding English nuance, stabbed him with an HIV needle, but my friend already had AIDS from prior homoerotics so the charges got dropped
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I always drink espresso at home before going to a coffeeshop so when I arrive I'm already on that wavelength & not desperate, much like how I snort adderall & edge to femdom videos before going clubbing so when the dumb whores are cold-hearted & cruel to me it really gets me off.
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If I was the director of Scott Pilgrim vs The World I’d have Michael Cera be a submissive footslave to the oriental girl for 1.5hrs & then bust meekly in his pants. The suits in Hollywood would never go for that, which is why I’m an eccentric crypto millionaire & they molest kids
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A lot of you pornsick bastards can only get it up if you see some slut with dumptruck ass get mauled to death by pack of wolves. I'm pure, I get hard when the barefoot Amish maiden sells me eggs, when a girl steps on an anthill, watching womens soccer imagining myself as the ball
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You don't understand, some people actually need ADHD medication in order to properly hyperfixate on the minutiae of a peculiar childhood experience whilst embellishing it with certain arcane elements in order to craft intricate lore to explain why they're on the computer so much.
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Unpopular opinion but I think co-ed gyms are good. I structure my workout routine around this one chick’s menstrual cycle who works at Trader Joe’s. When she’s ovulating I hover around her, then I pop 2 Zyns & tape my mouth shut to avoid mouth-breathing as I attempt a deadlift PR
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As a creative you'll lose your edge if you live in a metro area "art hub", instead be broke & bitchless in the rural Midwest, wavering between alienation & yearning, exchanging love poems w/ coastal egirl as you save money delivering Chinese food to go meet her, by then she's fat
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"You ain't have to do all that bro 🤣"
(talking to my wife who stood by me through hardship & prolonged periods of sorrow)
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*finally added to the exclusive alt-right influencer groupchat*
Thanks for having me guys. Okay so picture Grimes wearing platform Uggs which she scribbled little demonic sigils on with a fine-point Sharpie like how girls used to draw emo lyrics & hearts on their Converse. Ugh…
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We're DINKs, she holds a handheld mirror up to her clit while I gaze at the space between her & the lone candle illuminating the room. We're DINKs, every time I pull out I must reckon with the emptiness which arises from spilling myself onto the infecund abyss of her belly button
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Men & women's bodies are biologically designed for different purposes. I can backhand them across the face with sufficient force to silence her questioning of my ability to drunk drive, a beautiful loud terrifying silence only a woman can emit. We both bask in the tense aftermath
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I post for Yung Lean fans who think Bladee sucks, for guys who drive weird old vans, who used Bitcoin in 2014 to buy darknet drugs (it'd be worth millions now) who got visited by a CIA satellite that detected an electromagnetic anomaly in my consciousness due to an LSD experiment
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I recall one night as a child where everyone else had gone to sleep and forgotten to put me to bed. I was pausing and rewinding a Scooby Doo VHS tape, deliberating on whether to stare at a still frame of Daphne or Velma while punching myself in the crotch with Hulk Hands, sensing…
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Smoke repels demons. Pick her up on your first date & chainsmoke with the windows up. If she shows any sign of discomfort, she's possessed. Go ahead & get drunk, pop a Viagra, & buckle up. A demonic cunt is unmatched in their carnal magnetism, just try to get a strand of her hair
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Smoking a cig works phenomenally as a bug deterrent. I suspect it also shields oneself from pests of a more spiritual variety, as schizophrenics are overrepresented in the chainsmoking populace using it as self medication. Tobacco's also smoked before/during many shamanic rituals
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When ppl began using the term "rizz" i mistook it as memetic shorthand for the Deleuzian concept "rhizomatic". Imagine my bewilderment when i tried delving into non-hierarchical pedagogy with a group of zoomers & no less than than an hour later she suckin on my body w/ out organs
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She said she likes kissing more than sex. I said I'm gonna kiss the lips of your labia & nerfblast a river of warm thick milky seed into your uterine walls, & then I'm gonna play 2K. She said she loves when I talk poetically to her. When you have 10k on Twitter they let you do it
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Oh no, a beautiful blonde hippie girl who's really sweet. Run away everyone, I'll protect you "Okay listen bitch, you listen exclusively to deep house now, & you're gonna get men to give you free stims & eventually we'll rob them. When you turn 24 you'll never hear from me again"
I found my worst nightmare. I can smell the patchouli through this
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I was listening to Arcade Fire on my phone speaker during my morning subway commute. A few passengers shot me looks not of annoyance but curiosity that someone with such an aristocratic music taste would be so crass as to impose upon the enclosed communal soundscape in this…
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First hit of a cig: The divinity in me speaketh
Last hit: The debt collectors have given up on reclaiming their money, now they fly drones over my house that hit my wifi router with an EMF wavelength that makes me 1% of the Antichrist, one day they'll activate all of us at once
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I'll admit, I'd smash a homeless guy's skull onto the cement & take his $20 bag of fent if Billie Eilish told me to, the little minx. I guess that makes me trad, or based? I know I know, she's part Jew & worships the black sun, I'm only human. So, any siblings? I forgot my wallet
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Hate when fastfood workers act like I'm supposed to know all the idiosyncrasies of their menu when I'm merely acting on a Faustian whim. Unlock the bathroom, I'm gonna crank one out to japanese female wrestling on my $40 TCL tablet & walk out feeling like everyone knows I do that
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Lied to my gf about how kombucha is harvested using slave labor to deter her from trying to get some when we get groceries cuz EBT doesn’t cover it since it’s slightly alcoholic & I wish to maintain my image of being a provider of essential goods so that she’ll let me use her car
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6 whiskey sours deep driving my truck through the backroads, radio's coming in fuzzy from across the Mississippi but I decipher Lizzo's secret message to me as she yammers about her clit that if I hit a cyclist I'm to keep driving, for I'm the vessel actualizing their karmic fate
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Yeah I have "BPD", my mood is dogshit until I have a Beer, take a Piss, & read an emily Dickinson poem.
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Some guys do a small amount of physical toil & then say something like "I'm gonna sleep well tonight!" Does moving a couch up a flight of stairs really suffice to quell the internal voices of self-doubt & existential unease that grow so deafening in the quietude of the wee hours?
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Thanks for 20k. I am the man who will make SolBrah answer for his sin of pride, Delicious Tacos for his lust, & all the Miladys for buying into an Indian man's NFT cult. The leaked DM's circulating of me getting dommed by a thick & aging hispanic egirl are all real. I am who I am
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Scrolling Billie Eilish's insta while doing kegels at my standing desk before I lift so when I do lat pulldowns I imagine performing such a vicious Stone Cold Stunner on her that she goes unconscious, then I can...Hold on I'm getting a call. Sup Obama? Still gay & black I presume
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Kind of like how retail stores will let you get away with stealing several times in order to build a case on you so that after you surpass a certain monetary threshold they can charge you with a felony, this unidentified strain of wild mushroom I've been foraging has been…
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Growing up I always dreamt of being a professional athlete, not for the glory or masculine camaraderie, though that would be a welcome side-effect, but rather to achieve lasting virality for something perversely out-of-character for such a peak physical specimen, like getting a…
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We all got that one homie who we only hang out with cuz we know he's got nothing else going for him & would probably kill himself if we didn't keep him company. We looked at his search history & found the embarrassing fetish porn he watches. We hope he dies of natural causes soon
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One night my buddy & I had chicken tenders which were underwhelming until we dipped them in sauce. I said "that's like everything in life, you just need a little sauce to make it good" His sauce ended up being opioids & dopewhores. For me, drinking & fetishizing my own suffering.
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Hop off my dick, bitch. Please, it's hurting me. I'm clearly not enjoying this, I'm ~80% soft. There's plenty of other seats in this free clinic waiting room. You smell like Newports so I know there's a black man in your life. Okay now that you're yelling at me I am a bit aroused
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Did you feel the energy shift? You’re now hyper aware of a fundamental personality trait of yours that’s always made others uneasy. Either fix it right now or forever be at odds with society as an outcast & not in a cool way, devastating loneliness & alienation. (You smoked weed)
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I don't want to fuck, it's not aristocratic. Masturbating is easy, but how can one simulate a kiss? Sucking the rim of leftover girls' drinks doesn't do it for me. But I'm pretty good at sitting on my hand til it's numb & pretending it's the foot of a Chinese girl ballbusting me.
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Nietzsche said to never trust a thought you have indoors, but when I go out something always happens like a car driving by playing a song that sounds just like my mom’s voice expressing sorrow for what I’ve become, & then the bass thumps to merge it into my punctured subconscious
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