the information pimp
@BirdRespecter
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god’s chosen hater. friend to all. resident imbecile @westernkabuki
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Being an independent contractor sucks for a lot of reasons, but it also affords you the unique ability to tell people to fuck off in delightful ways.
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If anyone ever argues that the blue stripe isn't racist, simply show them this image
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video games are a sick facsimile of war made for broken men to play in place of conquering their own natures and then the hearts of women… disgusting
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What kind of shit are you trying to get into at Target man
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Jake tweeted about trans people 27 times in the month of March but sure
Most of us don’t care if you’re gay or a transvestite we just don’t want it shoved down our throats
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just saw the inside of the missing submarine, these guys are insanely dead. imagine paying 250k to die in a drainage pipe that doesn't even have seats in it. miserable
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The richest man in the world bought a social media site with users as young as 13, told existing advertisers to go fuck themselves, and now forces said children to watch unblockable pornography ads? Sounds like grooming to me!
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Days after launch, you sit at a red light. The novelty is gone, you aren’t any happier. Maybe it’s your imagination but the gaps in the door look off. You think you saw a car full of teens laughing at you earlier. You’re now 100k in debt for a meme, and you feel nothing
Oh my god in person this thing looks even fucking stupider
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I bet this guy felt so cool putting on this fuckin dork suit
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I keep seeing Mr Beast shit in my feed even though I don’t follow him so I went to block and discovered it’s actually an undisclosed ad. Very cool website!
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This may sound crazy, but even if this screenshot was real (it’s not) he still wouldn’t have deserved to get killed by the cops. Hope this helps
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A tiny pinch of salt in black coffee removes the bitterness almost entirely. I thought this was common knowledge until my coworker looked at me like I had horns for doing this the other day
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A friend set me up on a semi-blind date and it’s going very well. Might go see ant man tomorrow 🙂
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I have been working on a project. At roughly six o'clock tonight, every shithead nearby who bulk bought Nintendo Switches to scalp is going to be meeting at the same Arby's, hopefully they can game together
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The idea that homeless people could otherwise afford electronics the rest of us take for granted shouldn’t make you mad at them. It should make you concerned that someone who’s likely employed is living on the streets and ask why that is
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Imagine typing this out on an Xbox controller. This was an era where gamer rage could be tolerated because it took work
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How this make you feel white boy
Not one American soldier fought and bled for this flag. Not one American taxpayer paid taxes to the government of this flag. Not one law has been passed under a government elected under under this flag. The ideological coup is complete.
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For context, I got my hunter’s safety license when I was in 2nd grade. She’s probably too young for handguns, dual wielding is try-hard suburban bullshit, and if I tossed one like that, my dad would have fucked me up. Stupid punisher truck decal weekend jackoff dad behavior
I'm confused and curious about your thoughts on it.
Is it right or wrong to be raised this way by her parents?
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Thank you for advertising that your house is essentially a giant loot crate
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I was the subject of a semi-viral TikTok discourse awhile back. A person I went out with told me she had a large TikTok account where she reviewed her dates. I told her that made me uncomfortable and politely excused myself which made her mad. Her ensuing video had people yappin'
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no i absolutely do not know, you fucking freak bitch
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The worst, most manipulative person I ever knew became 10x worse once they learned how to weaponize therapy terminology
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just overthrow the government bro. not that hard
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These guys played such a crucial role in the ecosystem. It was wrong of society to push them to the margins. They need to be selectively reintroduced back into key areas of twitter to combat this new subspecies of dogmatic content bros. They’re our only hope
we gotta replace that aryan proud boy "Yes." guy with this one, it's time for a change
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I dunno man I’m not an expert but also basically every woman I’ve ever met would rather hang out with funny and talented dudes over a guy who pays money for free websites and is pissed about politics 24/7
And not a single girlfriend was had between the four of them
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This is something an average American could find at a regular season minor league baseball game man
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JK Rowling will fight tooth and nail for everything in her books but when people bring this up she’s just like “yeah so what”
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For context if anyone cares, this person doesn't work at the agency that handled my contract. They don't even run the department I was working in, and have no authority to fire me. Just a middle management nerd trying to be a cop.
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Incredible really
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This happened like 6 months ago, did we just forget that?
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Wait you guys hate her but would still have sex with her? That’s insane man. That’s wild. Nobody has ever said that before. tell us more
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Tesla locked this guy out of his fully paid vehicle due to an internal accounting error, then used GPS to repo it. Why on earth would anyone ever buy one of these shitty cars?
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Sincerely hope they all die. Tired of these annoying ass kids
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My fear with generative AI isn’t that it’s good enough to replace artists, it’s that people who control art through money will force feed us dogshit because they don’t care about quality and can’t tell the difference anyway
Tyler Perry says he has halted the $800M expansion of his studio after seeing OpenAI’s text-to-video model Sora.
He adds that he just used AI in 2 of his films and that with Sora “I no longer would have to travel to locations. If I wanted to be in the snow in Colorado, it’s…
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This is a great product for when you need your beard to look like it was rendered by a Nintendo 64
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In a very Larry David-esque situation right now. I’m trying to buy a cake for my moms birthday tomorrow, but they won’t sell me an entire cake. They sell it by the slice. I asked to buy all the slices and they’re currently on the phone with the owner of the bakery deliberating
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Well that was pretty weird and happened quickly
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"I wouldn't want that behavior associated with my name."
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You don’t get assigned middle seats next to people this large, they are required to pay for the extra seat. You’re a piece of shit making up situations for people to get mad over because your life is empty and you need dopamine
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This was probably my inflection point for realizing how absolutely fucked everything is. I felt concussed watching this happen. Something in my brain chemistry changed
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Not gonna work this time sorry. I honestly, deeply, truly hope that Joe Biden and his entire cabinet burn in hell for eternity
If "the left" sits out the 2024 election because they are mad that Biden isn't pure enough, they will help elect a Christo Fascist government that will waste no time turning this country into a Christian theocracy. So breathtakingly stupid, my teeth hurt.
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I love how everyone on the planet is just a giant fucking idiot now, it rules
What struck me about this incident is how the entire plane turned to look when she said: "that man is NOT real."
They didn't immediately laugh, or groan. They LOOKED.
I think deep down, even normies know something is off. Nothing is at it seems. They can feel it.
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Every imbecile saying “ban SUVs” without thinking about how you have to take training classes, pass skill and knowledge tests, hold insurance etc just to drive and also can be regularly ticketed for misusing a car really aren’t making the gun control quip they think
BREAKING: SUV intentionally runs over people outside homeless shelter in Brownsville, Texas, killing at least 7 people, police say
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A guy I was in a band with for like 3 rehearsals years ago just posted this on his IG and I’m so happy for him
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I won't name and shame. But I just feel like online dating is already very dehumanizing and if you're just doing it in order to make content, that's weird and shitty!
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The comments of people’s minds being blown that this is just a regular chemical you can get and not actually harvested from the tears of enslaved mole children is so funny
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Do not look into the reason juniper is trending, do not post about it or you also may be suspended ‼️
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I would guess it’s because other automakers haven’t pigeonholed themselves into selling cars to people who are scared of cities and post FBI race crime statistics on Facebook
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I don’t care what your political disposition is. if a hamburger commercial has ever made you feel an emotion, you are a degenerate pervert and your very existence is an affront to God
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No idea why this bullshit is trending again. But fyi to the people who said I torched my career, I got an offer for the highest paying job in my life ~2 weeks after this. I know it’s an employer’s market but you shouldn’t let people walk all over you. Good luck out there ❤️
Being an independent contractor sucks for a lot of reasons, but it also affords you the unique ability to tell people to fuck off in delightful ways.
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An NBC reporter just called me looking for Juniper lol. Elon may have made a bad choice today
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Mariah Carey disappearing once again until the day after Halloween 2024
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Really funny how I tried
@betterhelp
once, spent like 20 mins straight telling the therapist the horrific shit I was going through when she nervously was like “uhhhh sometimes when I get sad I listen to music 🙂” then they just sold my medical info to advertisers
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The sexism in mad men has not aged well, y'all 👏👏👏
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This is literally exactly what they said about homosexuality when I was in high school during the Bush years lol
We were minding our own business when suddenly the trans movement came along and demanded that we totally abandon biology, common sense, and truth itself for its sake. Our war against this scourge is a defensive struggle. They started it. They wanted this fight. Now they have it.
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After 14 years, Keem's career was starting to get a little too old for him 😔
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You’re talking a lot of shit for someone whose likes tab is 100% porn, brother
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Folks we got ourselves an old fashioned Mexican stand-off
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I truly hate this kind of shit. This is a bloody mary at a place I used to work. These gimmicks are only appealing to the biggest suburbanite nitwits imaginable. America is the great satan
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Been editing Ho Chi Minh quotes over pics of Reagan and spreading them in boomer spaces instead of working today 🤷♂️
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one last thing before i mute because if it breaks containment, i do not want to read takes. but it should be noted for context that we're both in our 30s. so, you know
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From killing 1500 monkeys to killing 1500 guys with monkey avis on here, impressive
We are excited to share that we have received the FDA’s approval to launch our first-in-human clinical study!
This is the result of incredible work by the Neuralink team in close collaboration with the FDA and represents an important first step that will one day allow our…
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@JUNlPER
These photos are so funny dude. It’s like the trex peering into the keep in Jurassic Park
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He’s finally resting 🙂
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The funniest thing about Dianne Feinstein is that her final lucid moment was shouting down child climate activists by telling them “I think I know what I’m doing” then did a 4 year weekend at bernies before just dying. Absolute legend. RIP
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Hi, if you're going to send yourself a message like this in order to garner sympathy after getting your ass beat online, it's important to not post the number, as someone can look up the fact that it's owned by a business that provides free anonymous texting on their website lol
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Broken website in 2011: 404 page not found
Broken website in 2024: size 50 font “our bad!” with a LinkedIn drawing of a corgi wearing pilot glasses for some reason. Text reads “sorry friendo, we goofed. refresh the page, or don’t. we’re not your boss 😎”
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Apparently a bunch of people saw this from somewhere on Reddit, and now people think my name is actually Dr. Horace Hungryman (it is)
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Stop letting Qanon perverts and twitter shut-ins who are terrified of fruit vendors shape your worldview maybe
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This is sickening. I would be so pissed if a beautiful woman tricked me into hitting it raw and raising a family together!!!
Hey tech guys, TikTok is flat out telling girls to pregnancy trap you now
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I don’t know man. This is the exact kind of thing you say about a dog who’s about 9 days away from dying
SEE IT: President Biden unusually strong today, shows off some vigor. WATCH
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they're gonna find the wreckage like 20 miles off the coast and learn that the company was just cruising around in this piece of shit for 8 hours and lying to rich guys about going to the titanic. how would you even know in that thing
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They're all standing in a rainy parking lot, holding 37 Nintendo Switches, laughing at me. Before getting owned one last time
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I hope the dipshit who lied about this being a real thing for outrage clout feels good about what he did because we are never gonna hear the end of this
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I downloaded one and this was the first person I spoke with 🫤
has anyone had any experience with those friend making apps? i want to make friends but i'm really bad at it
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