Max Rose
@MrMaxRose
Followers
927
Following
951
Media
608
Statuses
7,245
Comedian. Writer. Host of @VENTshowlive
Local
Joined September 2010
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
Arsenal
• 452481 Tweets
River
• 125618 Tweets
インプレゾンビ
• 110556 Tweets
Corinthians
• 102848 Tweets
Palestino
• 78796 Tweets
Harrison Butker
• 38379 Tweets
O Instagram
• 37201 Tweets
Caitlin Clark
• 36993 Tweets
Peñarol
• 31894 Tweets
Millonarios
• 25094 Tweets
Wesley
• 23998 Tweets
Borja
• 21642 Tweets
#VoleiNoSporTV
• 21277 Tweets
Yuri Alberto
• 20742 Tweets
Jalen Brunson
• 20101 Tweets
Fausto Vera
• 15336 Tweets
Astros
• 14237 Tweets
#ZonaDeRisco
• 13259 Tweets
アンバサダー就任
• 12198 Tweets
Ana Cristina
• 11331 Tweets
Haliburton
• 10657 Tweets
It’s sad to think that had everyone in the “ceasefire now” and "free Palestine" camps started by condemning Hamas for October 7th instead of calling for Intifada, this conflict would've ended in a week and tens of thousands of lives (Jewish and Palestinian) would've been saved.
50
47
394
@hippojuicefilm
“Loving your kid is a social construction.”
Tell that to a Bear. Or a Lion. Or a
25
0
55
I won't that they have blood on their hands, because they haven’t done any actual killing. But they are vessels for Hamas propaganda, allowing Hamas to carry out its objectives, which are 1) kill Jews and 2) use innocent people as shields to weaken Israel and (refer back to
#1
).
5
3
36
@gacal_siham
They were offered a “portion of their land back” several times. Rejected every time. Next argument please
9
0
33
0
0
29
Every time you fave a tweet of mine, I forget something negative my father said to me in my youth.
0
2
22
Chivalry isn't dead
This is one of the most terrifying things I’ve seen in all my life
7K
55K
116K
1
7
14
@bobblanddesign
@nytimes
@womensmarch
@lsarsour
@msladyjustice1
@TamikaDMallory
Easy question: Do you embrace hateful people? Yes or No? Still no statement to address this.
0
3
13
Had a blast hosting the
@JetpackComedy
show last night in W. Hollywood and working with
@GeoffreyPlitt
,
@ericarhodes
,
@nickvatterott
,
@MONROK
,
@AlonzoBodden
,
@richardsarvate
,
@ChrisMcomedy
+
@Thomasdale5
. This is definitely a solid show, so check it out LA!
1
1
15
@GrosmanCarol
@HenMazzig
Inly way it could have gotten this bad is if there was enough anti Israel sentiment out there to legitimize Hamas’ continuation of tactics (not returning hostages, breaking ceasefires). Unanimous condemnation from the west would’ve made its campaign nearly impossible to carry out
3
1
10
"If you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best" is less of an inspirational quote and more of a convenient excuse to be a dick.
1
5
13
There are over 400,000 open mic comedians and just about all of us will be going pro in something other than comedy.
0
0
10
This is BY FAR the best mascot for any team, @ me at your own risk
1
3
11
Too often, I respond to the phrase "I want you inside of me" with "Are you sure?"
0
2
10
When getting into an Uber driverless car, you're still obligated to ask "So, how long have you been an Uber driverless car?"
0
1
9
Doing jokes tonight in Frederick with an awesome crew! Excited to come back to this great room.
Maryland (and surrounding states that my online college experience have led me to forget), I will be around y’all tonight. 7pm show at The Cellar Door in Frederick, Maryland. We’ll talk porn, Unabomber, Waco and nuggets. Sometimes all at once. Also
@MrMaxRose
is on the show!
1
5
15
0
3
8
This Saturday,
@nickvatterott
headlines
@bierbarondc
. 7 pm show. Tickets here:
http://t.co/zdh4RZVGLQ
@thingstododc
http://t.co/UkwLptdppt
0
0
8
Out here in line to vote looking patriotic AF.
#redwhiteandblue
Plus
@MurielBowser
said hello to me. She must recognize me from my stand up.
0
2
8
You Won't Believe What Racist Thing This Guy Said In A Video From 2011 That's Been Online This Whole Time The Musical
0
0
7
The common conception that a show involving music and comedy must pay the members of the band, but not the comedians, has to end.
0
0
7
A long, but not exhaustive, list of terrible things that Israel is responsible for:
- The disaster at Three Mile Island
- The My Lai Massacre
- Pearl Harbor
- American Civil War
- Mexican-American War
- Tiananmen Square Massacre
- Hunter Biden’s laptop
- Hurricane Katrina
- The…
1
1
7
This is our dog. We got him at the end of March. His name is Scully. He’s the best. Now go enjoy the rest of your Monday.
0
0
8
From
@LateNightSeth
&
@midnight
,
@michelleisawolf
headlines
@bierbarondc
Saturday:
http://t.co/UIFII9JTFY
@SocialInDC
http://t.co/wOZ5vcqaTM
0
1
7
Hilarious that verified users get a few seconds to retract their post after publishing. Excuse me but I don’t need to reconsider calling someone a cuck.
1
2
7
Thanks
@GaryGulman
and
@Magoobys
for a great weekend of comedy. Looking forward to working with you both again.
1
1
7
My girlfriend's favorite sex move is the wet willie
Sex now is so kinky. "Choking, finger up the butt, spitting." These are all things my older brother used to do to torment me. We've taken bullying out of schools & put it in the bedroom.
22
35
301
0
1
7
Worried I might be suffering from parallel thinking. Has any comic ever told a joke about the difference between being in your 20s and 30s?
1
0
6
Two years ago, I began working with
@HenMazzig
on the editing of his first book, "The Wrong Kind of Jew: A Mizrahi Manifesto." I learned so much from this process, both about the subject matter and just how much work it takes to complete a book.
3
0
7
See me live
@FlappersComedy
in
#Burbank
next Wednesday, 8/22 for Hump Day Late Nite! I'll be joining this awesome lineup of comedians.
1
3
7
LA has Hollywood. Boston has *checks notes* ... a gas station.
3
0
7
Most of my diet is Mexican and Asian food. But every once in awhile I treat myself to American food like Taco Bell and Panda Express.
0
1
7
Last night
@bierbarondc
, Last Resort Comedy helped to raise $1,045 to benefit DC's homeless youth!
@Sashabruceyouth
http://t.co/8TLeqgNqfJ
1
4
7
Funny on Twitter
@nataliesurely
@daileydr
@MariyaAlexander
@GrahamCorridor
@AbeThoughts
@MichaelLarrick
@danacbell
@glenna_opt
@13spencer
0
1
5
Headlining Cozzy's Comedy Club in
#NewportNews
this Sunday, 12/4 at 8pm. No Cover. Gonna set fire to the stage with my boy
@SteelebornDC
.
0
0
5
0
0
6
Trump. Just. Sent. An. Elton. John. CD. To. Kim. Jong. Un.
you guys
1
1
6
Great chilling w/
@JudahWorldChamp
@StandUpDave
@lanceweiss
@nickvatterott
@PatRileyComedy
@Brendan_Fitz
at
@dcimprov
http://t.co/fvpubQP5e1
0
2
6
As a Jew, should I get a tattoo on my arm now, or is there a designated day when that will happen?
2
1
6
Hurricane Michael sounds like one of Brett Kavanaugh's high school drinking buddies.
0
2
6
Great Show this FRIDAY
@dcimprov
with me +
@herbiegill
,
@kandydoesntkare
,
@TheTokMoff
&
@ComicLucasBohn
:
http://t.co/AglpHNRnDE
@SocialInDC
0
6
5
Check out my first piece for
@thisisrobotbutt
!
Blackened Banana in Freezer Doubts It’ll Ever Be Used to Make Bread:
1
4
6
I'm producing this great show with
@SammyObeid
at Vampire Lounge in
#BeverlyHills
on February 26. Appearances by
@marcellacomedy
,
@GregtheGrouch
& more. No Cover.
@HeyGoodSetLA
0
2
5
Going to see my girlfriend’s favorite comedian
@mulaney
in SF on Wednesday. Still not telling her he learned everything from me.
0
0
6
Doing stand up @ M Bar in Los Angeles TONIGHT at 7 pm. It will be legend. 1253 Vine St.
http://t.co/OvXkCELGwz
0
1
6
A new comic bombed so bad on my show last night, I insisted he come back next week for redemption. He bombed so bad, he earned another spot.
1
1
6
DC fam! Me &
@Shanemgillis
are opening for
@andyhendrickson
this Friday. After the show we'll be meeting with POTUS.
0
3
6
I'm an LA native and this is my first ever
@Lakers
game. Only took 28+ years. Favorite player from back in the day: Robert Horry.
0
0
5
When Trump puts all minorities in concentration camps, I hope I get paired up again with my Chinese roommate from freshman year.
1
2
6
Friday!
#HappyHour
show
@DrafthouseDC
. Audience complaints encouraged! Free 6pm show!
#happyhourdc
@VENTshow
0
4
6
"Let's find a way to make you feel better about eating a hamburger!" - Sliders
0
1
5
Come swing through
@VENTshow
this Friday
@DrafthouseDC
. We've got
@Blkmayonnaise
&
@TommyTaylorJr
as guests on this one. 6pm. No Cover.
0
4
6
Come on out to the
@LivingRoomShow
tonight in BK! The show has one of the best comedy-per-square-inch ratios in NY, and it's free. 8PM
0
2
6
Jesus would be so proud to know that people still yell his name through a megaphone on random street corners.
0
2
6
Doing Comedy tonight
@SauceComedy
in Los Angeles with a bunch of funny people
@babsgray
@jwattenhofer
@thatssolampy
@ayobrobro
@Subhah
@LaughingVlad
@bradsiln
@BradLivesDreams
@_joshmichaels
@ashley_barnhill
@EdGreerDestroys
. Also, Pizza will be performing too.
1
2
5
Headlining
#Baltimore
this Thursday! Come out.
0
1
6
Relationship status: currently dating someone who says she gets all the nutrients she needs from the lime in her vodka sodas.
1
1
6
Proud of my buddy
@NicksKnows
for working hard to lose all that weight. Now he's funny AND thin. Watch out fuckers.
0
2
5
A new horned dinosaur species has been unearthed in southern Utah. It had four horns and nine wives.
0
0
5
For the people who are still angry about
#AlexJones
respawning. 👇
1
0
5
@Dannyjokes
Danny, this is sensory overload, and I’d like everyone to just be a little quieter please
1
0
5
Sorry I can't donate to your important cause, but I already do a lot of charity work. Tonight, I'm performing comedy for free.
0
0
5
8️⃣ NFL teams that should permanently revert back to their classic uniforms and logos, a thread 🧵
1. Denver Broncos - the blue and orange go great together, plus the bronco jumping through the D is 🤌
2
0
5
Bout to do this Summer Camp Show at Wonderland DC w/
@donsengstack
,
@littlenightowl
,
@alyssapants
&
@WeirdSweetNate
.
0
1
4
Looking forward to sitting in on
@MandLshow
this week with
@marcronick
and
@MelserWBAL
! Catch the episode on
@RELMNetwork
when it comes out.
0
3
5
At a point in my life where I sent a stand up video of mine in response to a Craigslist roommate ad. No other clubs will take it so why not?
1
0
5
Thank you to
@AtlanticCouncil
and
@alexwardb
for a great show
@dcimprov
last night. S/o to
@Denidenitaytay
,
@jweemscomedy
&
@EJthecomic
too.
0
0
4
This is a Seminole moment in our nation’s history. Warren is extremely Brave and I’d love to have her as part of my Tribe. If you don’t like it, Sioux me.
"Elizabeth Warren: Carries the torch of economic populism in 2020 but can't shake ancestry controversy" (
@TheHillOpinion
)
47
4
23
1
1
4
"So you're saying Roman Polanski is Jewish?"
This is the type of stuff Jews talk about at a family gathering.
0
0
5
“You all need to stop being victims and playing the race card all the time.”
It just doesn’t get better than this.
Your nephew sounds like he was an exemplary student but students like him are a dime a dozen at Ivys. Almost no one who applies to an Ivy League gets in. They get thousands of applicants for a single seat. You all need to stop being victims and playing the race card all the time.
347
722
7K
0
2
5
Friday, 5/1 | 7:30 PM | $3 Comedy
@TownTavernDC
w/
@MelReg1
@titlehere
@IBHirsch
@ChikaChels
@JTcomedy
:
http://t.co/LfMaPd1nvr
@SocialInDC
1
1
5
You can't impeach someone who resembles a peach. It's in the Constitution.
0
2
5
Doing this great show for a cause with
@ComicLucasBohn
,
@AndyKline74
and
@TheTokMoff
Friday in Ashburn. Still some tix left, but not many.
Celebrate VETERANS Day
@OldOxBrewery
#Ashburn
with
@ComicLucasBohn
Nov11th Benefiting Semperfi Fund Get Tickets at
2
2
3
0
2
5
How an astronaut breaks up with you.
0
0
5
Debuting at the Van Nuys Comedy Club THIS SUNDAY with
@theBillyBatz
. Come out for some Valley jokes! 9pm and no cover.
1
0
5
Also, NEW SHOW ADDED.
@nickvatterott
will be
@bierbarondc
on Sat., 4/18 at 6:30p | $12:
http://t.co/zdh4RZVGLQ
w/
@lanceweiss
@Brendan_Fitz
0
2
5
Hosting my show tonight bc ain't nobody else to do it. Come hang w/ me,
@TheTokMoff
,
@LeftistPanda
,
@JTcomedy
& more
Free Comedy Mondays is Tonight at Shenanigan's Irish Pub AdMo. 8 pm. Come early n' drink:
0
1
0
1
3
5
Great times doing
@LastResortDC
Comedy with
@KeithAlberstadt
and
@lanceweiss
at the
@bierbarondc
last night.
0
1
4
Hey it's my timeless article popping up again on
@thisisrobotbutt
. This doesn't even scratch the surface of my banana material btw. Like my mom cuts bananas in half, eats one half and lets the other rot on the counter. There are just a pile of half eaten bananas in the kitchen.
Blackened Banana in Freezer Doubts It'll Ever Be Used to Make Bread
0
0
7
1
1
5