I think my therapist hates me. Wish I had someone to talk to about this.

My mom once accused me of sending her a lewd video on Facebook. After much sleuthing, we discovered she had sent me a lewd video on Facebook.

RT @jestermaxxing: Fire engines should be blue like their ally, water, instead of their enemy, fire.

Two drinks in is when you experience the purest form of thought.

RT @manwelllb_: When is national why would you do that to me day.

RT @TeenyGhosts: Getting myself a treat because today would have been my birthday if I was born today.

RT @ma1ybe: i texted him "have fun" and he texted back."no i'm still gonna text you" and that basically sums up the kinda man i want.

RT @other_st_nick: The hottest thing a woman can do is tweet 30-50 times a day.

RT @juumelo_: date idea you watch me drink 8 beers and tell me how beautiful I am.

My last boyfriend lied to me about his age and then complained I was too young for him.

RT @popitforpoppa: you literally don’t have to lie to women, if she likes you enough, she’ll lie to herself.

RT @user0000O0: do not introduce me to anyone have you lost your fcking mind.

RT @hopes_revenge: i don’t even think im autistic i think i was just supposed to be born as a baby sea turtle that didn’t make i….

RT @silverarm0r: *horniest woman alive voice* I really didn't think you'd be this much of a nerd.

Ass men and breast men are out. Asshole men and foot men are in.

I asked a guy what he's currently reading, he said a cookbook.

RT @FilledwithUrine: “why did you delete that tweet” there’s a man with a gun to my head right now he said do it or i’ll blow you fucking h….

RT @nova_Corpse: if liking ten of their tweets back to back won't get them to respond, nothing will.

Typing a reply in the GC, deciding no one cares, and deleting it. Same energy as talking to a group of people, realizing no one is listening to you, and quietly fading into the background.

RT @anerdonfire2: At What Cost. a memoir.

RT @EdgarPoop1: Hello, what do you want from me.