Maggie Westrum
@maggiewestrum
Followers
654
Following
497
Media
2,633
Statuses
20,029
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improve a city by adding a letter:
Motorhead, Minnesota
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to be fair, i also do not have plans to work with james franco in the future
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whatever happened to the Bermuda Triangle? is it still a thing or did they finally fix it?
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if you ask it to combine garrison keillor and rainn wilson, ai gives you the editorial staff of The National Review
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@davidfrum
the Republicans have won the popular vote only once in the last 28 years. they are out of touch with real Americans.
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going to be a Kantian for a while and see what the consequences are
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many of the problems at woodstock 99 were caused by pent-up frustration with The Phantom Menace
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reselling ugly ill-fitting sweaters under the label Lululutheran
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men would rather read Wittgenstein than go to therapy
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@ASFleischman
@chris_steller
"I would like to allocate more time to dating, though. I need to find a girlfriend. That's why I need to carve out just a little more time. I think maybe even another five to 10 — how much time does a woman want a week? Maybe 10 hours? That's kind of the minimum? I don't know.”
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Arnold Horshack?
I’m not naming names because I don’t want a particular kind of attention but there is a major film shoot happening outside my apartment. My block has been transformed into 1969 Greenwich Village. This pic will bio a legendary musician.
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so, oldsters, do i have this right? Replacements > REM > Husker Du > Minutemen > U2
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read this as Paul McCartney
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do people still fight on top of speeding trains? seems like it used to happen a lot
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Bongo and I are co-teaching a graduate seminar entitled "Topics in Epistemology" next semester. I brought 6 potential topics to our zoom meeting to select one. In characteristic fashion, Bongo raised powerful objections to each topic. Still no topic.
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telling people this is Dylan posing for Blonde on Blonde
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@wesyang
i had a creative writing prof in college who couldn’t deal with any sexual themes in our poems *unless* it was related to trauma in some way 🤷♀️
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@JoyceCarolOates
men would rather sit at a restaurant table, huddled together in a corner, backs to the wall, apprehensive expressions on their faces than go to therapy
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even the guys in the Foo Fighters think Husker Du is the better band 🤷
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Maggie Westrum, 35, looks disheveled in Minneapolis backyard as she's seen for first time in TWO YEARS
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i guess i’ve never really processed the death of mr peanut 🥜
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the fast & the furious would be better if they worked together to build a community garden instead of crashing cars
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U2 is Journey for Gen X hipsters
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Who is the greatest fictional sports player of all time?
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if it were Burning Woman, none of this would have happened
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i can’t name a james stewart movie i don’t like
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who wrote Corinthians? buncha Corinthians, i bet
Matthew wrote Matthew.
Mark wrote Mark.
Luke wrote Luke.
John wrote John.
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@wesyang
some women - at least on twitter - seem to feel like this is a victory, and frankly i’m disappointed
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i was never in the girl scouts but i was in the girl scout reserves, we were called up whenever there was a cookie shortage
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sometimes the smallest football guy is allowed to kick the football but if it doesn’t go through the hoop, he feels shame and the other football guys pat him on the back like they are burping a baby
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so, personal ads were just twitter before the internet?
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the russian guy from Rocky IV
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in ancient times most people did not have heads or arms
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this personal ad is also an accurate description of my twitter account
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omg jack black is basically unrecognizable in this photo!
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My “unpopular” music takes:
* “Americana” is country music for Democrats
* Even without the Monkees, Mike Nesmith would be an important figure in 60s and 70s pop
* Peter Buck was the Mike Nesmith of the 80s
* Half the bands in the Rock Hall of Fame don’t deserve to be there
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the traffic around chicago is . . . illinoying 😊
please clap
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you know who also was 6’3” and 215 lbs? fella by the name of jesus
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what if God is just a really big guy who lives in outer space?
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There’s a better than 50 percent chance that your brother-in-law looks like Patton Oswalt
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