When THE OFFICE wrapped we were watched like hawks by NBC to make sure we didn’t take any props or mementos or keepsakes with us. The prop master was even threatened! Maybe NBC/Universal should oversee Presidents leaving the White House.
RIP Hugh Dane, aka Hank the security guard. He was one of the greats. So kind, funny, talented. We will all miss him. Donations can be made in his name to:
Kid on the Street: “Are you Dwight?”
Me: “Nope.”
Kid: “Yeah You Are! I’m the BIGGEST Office fan! Can I get a pic?”
Me: “What’s My Name?
Kid: “Uh… I don’t know…”
Me: (walking off) “Then You’re not the biggest Office fan.”
I have decided to enter the race for the 2020 Democratic Presidential Nomination. So has my friend Gary. Also our cleaning woman, Cheryl. & my uncle Ronnie. & all the guys on my over 40 tennis team. Plus the entire cast of the Office minus Creed.
I didn’t even see who dropped this on my lap at the PDX airport but I greatly appreciate the sentiment, flight attendant Melanie of Alaska Airlines. So humbled to be a part of a show that affected, touched, comforted and inspired. And continues to do so! It’s so fucking rare. A…
When I see a dog I say “Hello dog.” When I see a cat I say “Hello cat.” When I see a cow I say “Hello cow.” When I see a chicken I say “Hello chicken.” When I see a human I quickly avoid eye contact & hope they don’t talk to me.
You want a REAL CONSPIRACY, people? Think about this: the world started going to shit at EXACTLY the same time it was announced THE OFFICE was leaving
@netflix
.
Yesterday I tweeted a mean crack about breastfeeding vs chestfeeding. After speaking with some Trans friends and educating myself a bit more I want to apologize for the tweet. It was adding to misinformation and meanness. I’m sorry.
Heartbroken. 💔 I only got to meet Matthew a handful of times, but he was always sharp and kind. He was, and I use this term rarely, a genius. Chandler was one of the all-time great characters and his ability to spin a slightly funny line into absolute comedy gold was…
When I was a kid in the 70s & 80s, science had put us on the moon, cured Polio & created the computer. EVERYONE, regardless of politics, loved & trusted science & scientists. What do u think happened?
I do think there is an anti-Christian bias in Hollywood. As soon as the David character in “The Last of Us”
started reading from the Bible I knew that he was going to be a horrific villain. Could there be a Bible-reading preacher on a show who is actually loving and kind?
Wait Mr Renewable resources/Solar panel/Electic car guy
@ElonMusk
wants us to vote for the party that DENIES climate change & wants more coal and gas?! I’m truly confused.
I’m working on a movie called “Worry, Darling” about the backstage drama and events concerning the high profile cast and the making of this highly publicized film. Casting is wide open. Seeking funding. (I’m playing Chris Pine.)
This proof of vaccine stuff is getting out of hand. Next thing you know the government is gonna force all our kids to get shots for, I don’t know, polio, diphtheria, tetanus, measles, mumps, rubella and chickenpox!
Guy in auto parts store GLARED at me when I said “Happy Holidays” and replied, pointedly, “MERRY CHRISTMAS.” You win. Guy in auto parts store, you won a valuable skirmish on the battlefront of the war against Christmas. I surrender. White flag. God bless us every one.
The metamorphosis of Jesus Christ from a humble servant of the abject poor to a symbol that stands for gun rights, prosperity theology, anti-science, limited government (that neglects the destitute) and fierce nationalism is truly the strangest transformation in human history.
My House has been evacuated due to nearby fires in Thousand Oaks. (The pigs & dogs are fine, thank you) Please send your prayers to the people of Thousand Oaks and the victims of the shooting that are now having to evacuate their homes and neighborhoods. Then send them some cash.
I WON!!! In 2009 I won the Emmy! Not Jeremy Piven! It was RIGGED!!! The TV academy liked me better but the DOMINION voting machines were programmed by HUGE fans of Entourage!
#MillionDwightMarch
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@elonmusk
What about a men’s fragrance called “Elon?” A musky scent. Get it? Elon MUSK? It could smell of grit, ingenuity and genius with just a hint of insanity & desperation.
Damn Govenmernt tellin’ me I gotta wear my SEALTBELT in my own damn car!!! What are they gin’ do next? Tell me where I can & cannot SMOKE!? What is this!? Communist Sweden!?!
I love the idea of a Green New Deal but
@FoxNews
said the plan includes the mandatory sucking of farts out of camels, solar panel skull implants, Al Gore face tattoos for all, and prison time for Ford F-250 owners. So must be true. Suck it,
@AOC
!
Lets get real - If the “protestors” and “concerned citizens” storming the Capitol were BLM or people of color, the National Guard would have tanks on the streets, dozens would be dead and hundreds being beaten in prison.
If I were writing a song about “rich men north of richmond” I wouldnt talk about obese people on welfare, I’d sing about CEOs who make 400 times their average workers salary (up from 50 times 30 years ago) & corps that pay zero taxes & offshore tax shelters for billionaires.
The highest yearly number of flu deaths in the US in the last 100 years was 80k. We’ve lost 840k lives in the last 21 months to Covid. It’s not “just like the flu."
Weird idea. I’m just spitballin here... What if they tried having a head of the Environmental Protection Agency that deeply cared about protecting the environment?
My grandfather, crippled with polio during the depression was so proud of the medical technology that brought us the Polio vaccine that we ALL take & saved millions of lives. He would have felt the same way about the Covid vaccine.
My heart goes out to the millions of people in the Midwest freezing their nipples off. I know a little bit of what that’s like. It’s about 70 and cloudy in LA and I had to wear a sweater today.
#empathy
Hey guys quick announcement, I’ve decided to retire from the sport formally known as “Mixed Martial Art” today. I wish all my old colleagues well going forward in competition.
Thank God we got our independence from that awful horrible no good England. Otherwise right now they probably be making us watch that horrible awful no good English office.
Covid? A government hoax. 500 shootings over weekend of the 4th? No biggie. Climate change. It's just weather. Teaching kids about slavery?
AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Hey OFFICE/DWIGHT fans - wanted to do a lecture on Dwight’s 10 RULES for a happy life/Well-being/mental health. What do you think those would be? Would LOVE to hear from you!