RainnWilson
@rainnwilson
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Just another luminous spiritual being having a beautiful and difficult human experience.
Los Angeles-ish
Joined January 2009
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Last Seen Profiles
Idiots
Jim and Pam got married 10 years ago today — happy anniversary!!
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At dentists office. Put on a mask because the woman next to me has a Dunder Mifflin shirt on.
#Awkward
#Incognito
#RootCanal
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When THE OFFICE wrapped we were watched like hawks by NBC to make sure we didn’t take any props or mementos or keepsakes with us. The prop master was even threatened! Maybe NBC/Universal should oversee Presidents leaving the White House.
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RIP Hugh Dane, aka Hank the security guard. He was one of the greats. So kind, funny, talented. We will all miss him. Donations can be made in his name to:
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Why don’t we have elections on a Saturday so more working people can get to the polls? Too obvious?
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Kid on the Street: “Are you Dwight?”
Me: “Nope.”
Kid: “Yeah You Are! I’m the BIGGEST Office fan! Can I get a pic?”
Me: “What’s My Name?
Kid: “Uh… I don’t know…”
Me: (walking off) “Then You’re not the biggest Office fan.”
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So I’m standing in a parking lot dressed like this & a car rolls up and a guy says “that you Dwight?“ How, in Gods name, does that happen!?
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Thinking about going on the Masked Singer. Think they’ll recognize me?
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I have decided to enter the race for the 2020 Democratic Presidential Nomination. So has my friend Gary. Also our cleaning woman, Cheryl. & my uncle Ronnie. & all the guys on my over 40 tennis team. Plus the entire cast of the Office minus Creed.
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I didn’t even see who dropped this on my lap at the PDX airport but I greatly appreciate the sentiment, flight attendant Melanie of Alaska Airlines. So humbled to be a part of a show that affected, touched, comforted and inspired. And continues to do so! It’s so fucking rare. A…
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Attention: everyone named “Steven/Stephen.” It’s either “ph” or “v” - you choose. But it can only be one. You have 5 days.
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When I see a dog I say “Hello dog.” When I see a cat I say “Hello cat.” When I see a cow I say “Hello cow.” When I see a chicken I say “Hello chicken.” When I see a human I quickly avoid eye contact & hope they don’t talk to me.
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I do not know who this is. Inventor of the Swiffer?
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You want a REAL CONSPIRACY, people? Think about this: the world started going to shit at EXACTLY the same time it was announced THE OFFICE was leaving
@netflix
.
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Yesterday I tweeted a mean crack about breastfeeding vs chestfeeding. After speaking with some Trans friends and educating myself a bit more I want to apologize for the tweet. It was adding to misinformation and meanness. I’m sorry.
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Heartbroken. 💔 I only got to meet Matthew a handful of times, but he was always sharp and kind. He was, and I use this term rarely, a genius. Chandler was one of the all-time great characters and his ability to spin a slightly funny line into absolute comedy gold was…
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Steve Carell once tickled me.
What’s your favorite interaction you’ve had with a celebrity?
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I really can't speak for the guy but I think Jesus would have worn a mask.
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When I was a kid in the 70s & 80s, science had put us on the moon, cured Polio & created the computer. EVERYONE, regardless of politics, loved & trusted science & scientists. What do u think happened?
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I am available for Speaker of the House. Also for Jets Quarterback. And President of the US. And for the Masked Singer.
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I’ve decided to return to Twitter. I will not let my voice be silenced by the toxic bullies. So good to be back! It’s a whole new chapter!
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I do think there is an anti-Christian bias in Hollywood. As soon as the David character in “The Last of Us”
started reading from the Bible I knew that he was going to be a horrific villain. Could there be a Bible-reading preacher on a show who is actually loving and kind?
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Did this ‘Arizona Man’ also learn how to harvest organs?
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Wait Mr Renewable resources/Solar panel/Electic car guy
@ElonMusk
wants us to vote for the party that DENIES climate change & wants more coal and gas?! I’m truly confused.
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I have decided to quit Twitter. It’s just too toxic and a time-suck. Degrading to my self-esteem. I will miss all my friends here! Goodbye forever.
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If I went on the Masked Singer, this is the only mask I would consider.
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I’m working on a movie called “Worry, Darling” about the backstage drama and events concerning the high profile cast and the making of this highly publicized film. Casting is wide open. Seeking funding. (I’m playing Chris Pine.)
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Holy Shit our nations capitol is under attack by terrorists.
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This proof of vaccine stuff is getting out of hand. Next thing you know the government is gonna force all our kids to get shots for, I don’t know, polio, diphtheria, tetanus, measles, mumps, rubella and chickenpox!
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Just realized that we were shooting The Office pilot 15 years ago. Wow.
#Time
#HowTimeWorks
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I get sent a lot of lame Office themed art tributes. But this one made me chortle.
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Guy in auto parts store GLARED at me when I said “Happy Holidays” and replied, pointedly, “MERRY CHRISTMAS.” You win. Guy in auto parts store, you won a valuable skirmish on the battlefront of the war against Christmas. I surrender. White flag. God bless us every one.
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When are we all going to admit that the biggest threat to Americans, terrorist or not, is ANGRY, WHITE MEN with guns?
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The metamorphosis of Jesus Christ from a humble servant of the abject poor to a symbol that stands for gun rights, prosperity theology, anti-science, limited government (that neglects the destitute) and fierce nationalism is truly the strangest transformation in human history.
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The good news? I’m looking more and more like acting legend Jack Nicholson. The bad? He’s 87.
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People who refuse to get vaccinated seem to be the angriest that the government hasn’t “fixed” or “stopped” the virus by now. Please explain.
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Comedy Central should just be known as “The Office” network.
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Every G-D website I go to I click “Accept Cookies”-- and how many cookies have I actually received? Zero. Zero cookies.
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I have pressed EVERY SINGLE BUTTON online that says “Accept Cookies” and yet? Nothing!
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My House has been evacuated due to nearby fires in Thousand Oaks. (The pigs & dogs are fine, thank you) Please send your prayers to the people of Thousand Oaks and the victims of the shooting that are now having to evacuate their homes and neighborhoods. Then send them some cash.
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Streets are on fire, 100k dead, worst recession in decades but let’s get our priorities straight... SHUT DOWN TWITTER!!!
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San Fransicso hits all-time hi of 106. Houston's underwater. Floods all around the world. LA's on fire. Probably just random weather, right?
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I WON!!! In 2009 I won the Emmy! Not Jeremy Piven! It was RIGGED!!! The TV academy liked me better but the DOMINION voting machines were programmed by HUGE fans of Entourage!
#MillionDwightMarch
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.
@elonmusk
What about a men’s fragrance called “Elon?” A musky scent. Get it? Elon MUSK? It could smell of grit, ingenuity and genius with just a hint of insanity & desperation.
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I need the television academy to find me 327 votes so I can win that 2010 Emmy instead of Jeremy Piven.
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Apparently there are a lot of racist, crypto-fascist Dwight fans out there. So sorry to disappoint you all but you suck.
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Damn Govenmernt tellin’ me I gotta wear my SEALTBELT in my own damn car!!! What are they gin’ do next? Tell me where I can & cannot SMOKE!? What is this!? Communist Sweden!?!
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Looks like Jim and Dwight went on a crime spree:
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Lets get real - If the “protestors” and “concerned citizens” storming the Capitol were BLM or people of color, the National Guard would have tanks on the streets, dozens would be dead and hundreds being beaten in prison.
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If I were writing a song about “rich men north of richmond” I wouldnt talk about obese people on welfare, I’d sing about CEOs who make 400 times their average workers salary (up from 50 times 30 years ago) & corps that pay zero taxes & offshore tax shelters for billionaires.
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Hunter Biden? Follow the paper trail. It leads to Berlin. That’s where he buried the chandelier.
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I challenged one of the biggest Office fans, young William Eyelash, aka
@billieeilish
, with some intense Office trivia.
@billboard
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I don’t give a f*&! about the British royal family. Don’t we have WAY more important things to be worried about these days?
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I can’t wait to watch Game of Thrones tonight for 53 minutes and then spend 4 hours over the course of the week reading about the episode.
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So everyone knows Facebook is evil, everyone is outraged and yet no one stops using it. Just like drugs.
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Get off of Twitter. Now. Go outside. Ponder a tree. Immediately. Turn your phone off. Do it.
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I feel like our government hates poor people and brown people and the planet earth.
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Don’t know what this hoody means but I see the logo around a lot and I LOVE all my friends!
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The great
@MissiPyle
& I finally reunited 22 years after Galaxy Quest! As a married couple in
#EmpireWaist
!
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I’d like to see Dwight appear on the Friends reunion special & teach Joey how to gut and bleed and skin an Elk.
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I wanna do a movie like Bird Box or A Quiet Place only everyone has clothes pins on their noses because YOU CANT SMELL THE ALIENS OR YOU DIE!!!
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The highest yearly number of flu deaths in the US in the last 100 years was 80k. We’ve lost 840k lives in the last 21 months to Covid. It’s not “just like the flu."
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Weird idea. I’m just spitballin here... What if they tried having a head of the Environmental Protection Agency that deeply cared about protecting the environment?
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My grandfather, crippled with polio during the depression was so proud of the medical technology that brought us the Polio vaccine that we ALL take & saved millions of lives. He would have felt the same way about the Covid vaccine.
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My heart goes out to the millions of people in the Midwest freezing their nipples off. I know a little bit of what that’s like. It’s about 70 and cloudy in LA and I had to wear a sweater today.
#empathy
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Hey guys quick announcement, I’ve decided to retire from the sport formally known as “Mixed Martial Art” today. I wish all my old colleagues well going forward in competition.
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Show of hands? Who’s going to go see
@JohnKrasinski
‘s horror film this weekend!? 🙋🏼♂️
#AQuietPlace
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Thank God we got our independence from that awful horrible no good England. Otherwise right now they probably be making us watch that horrible awful no good English office.
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Someday I will wrestle Sting. And I will win. You can bet on it.
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Waitress: Any questions about the menu?
Me: Is this font “Verdana?”
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Covid? A government hoax. 500 shootings over weekend of the 4th? No biggie. Climate change. It's just weather. Teaching kids about slavery?
AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
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Hey OFFICE/DWIGHT fans - wanted to do a lecture on Dwight’s 10 RULES for a happy life/Well-being/mental health. What do you think those would be? Would LOVE to hear from you!
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