abbaleh
@abbaleh
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⚖️👨⚖️er, proudly ✡️🕎ish and 🧔🏻🇮🇱ist, 📱💻 ology junkie (my own views - NOT my employer’s) “ @JewishWonk ’s Favorite Enabler” עם ישראל חי
New York, NY
Joined March 2011
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Pinned Tweet
It’s not a pleasant topic to think about, and hopefully most of us will never experience it, but in the event of a security incident, learn how to keep yourselves and others as safe as possible!
Watch and share with your friends and family
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What the hell is wrong with everyone?
I can’t believe
@EylonALevy
’s eyebrows didn’t fly off his head after getting that question
The first question that left me speechless (but only for a second):
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Instead of buying Twitter, Elon Musk could’ve bought two whole boxes of Shmura Matzah
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But actually
A 13-year-old boy who was arrested and accused of planning a mass shooting at an Ohio synagogue will have to read a book and then write a report about a Swiss diplomat who saved more than 62,000 Hungarian Jews during the war, a judge rules.
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Mishpacha Magazine quickly grabbing photos of the Statue of Liberty they can actually use
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There is nothing wrong for someone who is less Jewishly literate to make a mistake
There’s a hell of a lot wrong with a group positioning themselves as knowledgeable and steeped in a tradition they literally can’t spell out
I don't think we should question the Jewishness of the protesters but also... the Hebrew is literally backwards
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Question: How did the NYT team whose job is literally dealing with hints and clues not catch that shape?
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You know where we all learned to survive by pretending to be dead and hiding under murdered bodies from?
Our grandparents
Yuval was at the Rei'm music festival when Hamas death squads raided it and murdered everyone in sight.
"Hang up and pretend you're dead."
So she hid under dead bodies for seven hours.
Listen to her heartbreaking phone call with her dad.
ENGLISH SUBTITLES >>>
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He was a Supernova Festival attendee, out of uniform, and threw *7* — let that sink in — *7* live grenades back at Hamas terrorists who tossed them while attacking civilians in a bomb shelter
This is what an *off-duty* IDF soldier can do with his *bare hands*
עם של אריות
🔴British-Israeli soldier died throwing hand grenades back at Hamas.
Witnesses saw Staff Sergeant Aner Shapiro, 22, protect a packed public bomb shelter by throwing away unexploded grenades lying at its entrance before one exploded in his hands.
Read⬇️
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Wow I really can’t keep up with all these new Twitter policy changes
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Did JVP just accuse Zionists of arranging Passover (13th century BCE), the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising (1943), and the British withdrawal from the Mandate of Palestine (1948) to happen to occur near each other in the calendar?
Israel sequentially commemorates the Holocaust, Israeli soldiers, and the creation of the state, promoting false Zionist narratives that:
1) The Holocaust justifies the ethnic cleansing of Palestinians.
2) Jews need a militarized, colonial, apartheid state to keep us safe.
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Life imitates art
BREAKING:
@IfNotNowLA
&
@EricAndre
are out on the freeways, dropping ceasefire banners before President Biden's State of the Union tonight.
Tell Biden we need a lasting ceasefire that ENDS the slaughter, and the flow of bombs to Israel needs to STOP:
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So women now earn only 50% of the NYT presidential endorsements that men do?
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Ppl: “Jews need to chill about the “Benjamins” thing; tropes aren’t the end of the world”
Also ppl: “I get that Hamas burned babies alive and blew their heads off with guns, but cool it with the ‘beheaded’ word unless you have footage, that’s a harmful trope”
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My condolences to British Jewry and best of luck on changing out the relevant pages in all of your siddurim and machzorim in time for the High Holidays
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I kind of want to play a game of “guess who said it, Ayatollah Khameini or BDS Boston”?
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I know everyone is focused on the eight commandments in the drawing, but it’s also worth noting that JVP is openly highlighting that in 26 years of operation they’ve only been able to find a single congregation in the United States that shares their views
@TzedekChicago
’s vote to become an anti-Zionist congregation is a HUGE step toward Judaism beyond Zionism in the US.
As anti-Zionist Jews grow in number — and as most synagogues remain Zionist by default — we need more religious and communal homes.
Mazel tov and thank you!
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A reminder: Mount Sinai is located in Egypt and a Greek Orthodox monastery bearing my name is located at its foot.
Zionist attempts to turn multifaith, multiethnic, and historically layered spaces located in Palestine and Egypt into 'purely' Jewish loci is colonial erasure.
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Amnesty International: “We are heartbroken to hear about the passing of NFL legend and star of the “Naked Gun” movies O.J. Simpson. We hold Israel responsible.”
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Just looked at Elon Musk’s Twitter offer more closely - the fine print says he’ll sell it back an hour and a half after sunset the night of the 23rd…
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I needed to hear this and trust me you do too
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Counterpoint: The sole point of ‘contextualizing’ the Hamas massacre amidst “Israeli abuses” is precisely to suggest that Hamas’s actions are excusable
You don’t HAVE to discuss Israeli wrongs as a ‘context’ for burning babies alive
That’s your choice, and an unsurprising one
But Hamas’s attack did NOT take place in a vacuum. We have to be able to discuss the context of endless occupation, repression, and apartheid without suggesting that such Israeli abuse excuses Hamas’s unjustifiable atrocities. Civilians should never be targeted.
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@ThatRabbiCohen
No uterus here but the notion that fertility rapidly drops at 35 comes from a study of data from women in 17th-19th century France. Data from the 20th century (with modern medicine) puts that number closer to 40.
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The sinister part is we predicted this thousands of years ago and made Mt. Sinai a very prominent part of our tradition *just* so we could snatch the name from others for our hospitals
A reminder: Mount Sinai is located in Egypt and a Greek Orthodox monastery bearing my name is located at its foot.
Zionist attempts to turn multifaith, multiethnic, and historically layered spaces located in Palestine and Egypt into 'purely' Jewish loci is colonial erasure.
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Jewish women wanting Jewish children in the wake of the slaughter of Jewish children is…*checks notes*…genocidal?!
NYT publishing an article about people ensuring their bloodlines are pure, in explicit support for a state that in the name of their religion & ethnicity is overseeing a genocide of another ethnic group is beyond reprehensible, but still not surprising for the NYT.
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@LahavHarkov
According to this reporting from WaPo- the clashes happened as the family were trying to load the coffin into the hearse so it could be brought to the Church for the funeral, and a group chased the hearse away and grabbed the coffin
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“Attention: Fast Pass holders may line up here to daven with a Heichi Kedusha”
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Yeah that’s so weird WTH
We’re just gonna act like it’s totally fine and not at all weird that a non-Jewish Congressman is determining the meaning of a Jewish holiday and using that to further a political agenda that countless Jews are vocally opposing?
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Soup to nuts, this is likely the dumbest tweet Ken has ever shared on this platform, and here’s a 🧵 to break it down:
First, Ken’s ‘source’ for how to analyze a Biblical reference delivered in a Hebrew speech in the context of an Israeli war is…checks notes…The Times of India
There has been much discussion about whether the Israeli government is committing genocide in Gaza. Netanyahu's citation of "Amalek" -- a Biblical injunction to "slay both man and woman, infant and suckling" -- will be cited as evidence of intent.
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For the Bible scholars out there saying this refers to the lost son parable, please point me to the part where the son gets carried off against his will by terrorists who kill his step-mother
I’m only seeing a version where the son wanders off and returns of his own free will
Holy cow…
The Taoiseach of Ireland (Prime Minister) refers to a 9 year old girl who was brutally kidnapped and held hostage by Hamas as “lost” and “been found and returned.”
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No seriously guys this is only about Israel I’m sure he’s totally fine with Jews
A man threatened to torch a Queens kosher deli if the staff didn’t take down the shop's Israeli flags. He also demanded the business shut down.
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“It can happen to you too”
You mean the government will send people to sort through my boxes of old documents and get rid of the stuff I shouldn’t keep anymore?
For free?
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There are other reasons too
Jamaal Bowman might lose his job over his positions on Israel thanks to a primary challenge by George Latimer and massive firepower from AIPAC.
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While praying for a safe resolution to the hostage situation at Cong. Beth Israel in Colleyville, it’s worth remembering that we Jews partner with Hashem and do not rely only on miracles
In that vein, if your synagogue/Hebrew school lacks a security plan, it’s time to enact one
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I get it
If that many of my resources had gone into building those tunnels I’d be pretty upset too
#Gaza
: Israel’s flooding of tunnels with saltwater could have severe adverse human rights impacts, some long term. Goods indispensable to civilian survival could also be at risk, as well as widespread, long-term & severe environmental damage. Civilians must be protected.
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“I hear you’re leading B’nei Yisrael to Eretz Yisrael
Do you have room for a small package?”
If you could sit down with Moshe Rabbeinu (Moses) and ask him one question, what question would you ask him?
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An initiative was launched today, by groups that claim to represent tens of thousands of American Jews, to vote down funds for nonprofit institution safety grants
Those grants are often used by Jewish institutions to *help prevent shooting attacks* such as Tree of Life massacre
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I am emphatically not questioning these ppl identifying as Jews
I am emphatically questioning these people identifying as “hundreds”
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@Briskerov
Ashkenazim will literally avoid eating Kitniyot for fear of confusing them with Chametz instead of going to therapy
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He won’t set foot inside a synagogue in
#NY16
He stood in the streets of
#NY16
and publicly called reports of Hamas rape a lie
He was one of a tiny handful who voted against condemning Hamas in Congress
We deserve a member of Congress who doesn’t treat us with contempt
"Bowman is now the target of a coordinated smear campaign that aims to defeat him in the June Democratic primary by using coded appeals to white voters."
A must-read from
@JFREJNYC
executive director
@audrey_sasson
& former
@NYWFP
director
@sochiesays
:
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@MattGertz
Some journalists unfortunately repugnantly continue to raise doubts because the reports are from Israelis
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@LahavHarkov
May he have 100 houses, each with 100 bedrooms, each with 100 beds of all shapes and sizes, and may he wander from bed to bed every night unable to find comfort and rest in any of them
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@raynelunger
I’m orthodox. I voted Biden. I don’t think the Torah specifically demands you vote one way or another, at least most of the time, but I can’t imagine telling my children, who I am currently teaching about the importance of mitzvot and derech eretz, that I voted for Trump.
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Every time I see “35% less sugar than the leading brand” I think “well that’s why they’re the leading brand“
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Can I sell just the rows where the children sit in our car over Pesach?
I think they’ve rubbed Cheerios into so many surfaces that I’d have to otherwise blowtorch the interior
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No better theme for a Hannukah lighting event than “cease fire”
Hundreds at a ceasefire-themed menorah lighting ceremony at Columbus Circle in Manhattan.
The Hanukkah event co-organized by Rabbis 4 Ceasefire, IfNotNow, JVP, JFREJ and Shoresh.
Event kicks off with this “ceasefire now” song ⬇️
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When the residents of Chelm would move to a new house, the wise men would advise them to pack away their boxcutters inside a box so the key piece of equipment needed to unpack their belongings wouldn’t be left behind okay it’s me I did it by accident and I still can’t find it
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Siri, what’s a creative way to tell people I took a German language class?
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Don’t ever go full Shaun King
I'm grateful that our continuous calls for a ceasefire and the return of the hostages has begun to make a difference.
Soon, we'll see a 4 day ceasefire and the return of 50 hostages. Let's keep fighting until we see an end to all of the violence and bombing and the return of
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“As a mohel, I need to cut you off”
During a campaign event in MN today, Rabbi Jessica Rosenberg interrupted Biden’s speech, saying, ‘As a rabbi I need you to call for a ceasefire right now.’
“I think we need a pause,” Biden responded. “A pause means give time to get the prisoners out.” (WH pool)
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@_ZachFoster
Do you speak Hebrew? She obviously talks about how she wants to come home but bombing isn’t mentioned
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I tried to bid on Rav Tukachinsky’s signature but the auction ended a few minutes early
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The group that killed her friends, broke her arm, had a veterinarian perform surgery on her so they could film a propaganda video, made her praise them at gunpoint in order to go free
Note the ICRC worker grabbing her by her injured arm
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Anyone else think it’s odd to bring a tuna sandwich for lunch on a trip to the aquarium?
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Rabboisai, do you think Iyov was happy?
-Mesivta Rebbe who doesn’t study Nach
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The grants themselves are the very basis of a communal approach to safety
They give Jewish institutions (and other nonprofits who apply) the tools to keep themselves safe
Synagogues are not responsible for the carceral or surveillance state, and are not to be made martyrs…
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for a political statement
Any co-signer of the letter can simply choose not to apply for such grants if they wish, but to loudly ask that the grants be withheld from *everyone* (who are actively being targeted) on behalf of “tens of thousands of US Jews” is, plainly, disgusting
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@admiralmpj
1) We are not only a religious group
2) We loom much larger in the popular imagination than we do in real life
3) There are fewer of us today than there were before WW2
4) With our diasporic journey, Jews can look, dress etc very different from one another, but we’re one group
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I won’t link to the materials until they become widely circulated, but these grants are publicly known to have stopped two potentially deadly attacks against Jewish institutions, and likely have prevented many many more attacks of all types from being carried out
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"Let's make latkes with the kids!"
Okay, which part do they help with..
Using the razor sharp grater?
Chopping tear-inducing onions?
Handling possibly salmonella-tainted raw
eggs?
Deep frying in the burning hot oil?
With kids, stick to decorating already-fried Sufganiyot
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@Marina_Sirtis
My teacher, a prominent US orthodox Rabbi, converted her
The Israeli Chief Rabbinate, which was incredibly skeptical of her (and many others’) conversion, acknowledged upon review that it was valid
Jewish tradition forbids disparaging converts over their status
Pls don’t do it
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@ariehkovler
Any chance you can try predicting something super positive on the off-chance that, rather than being really perceptive, you have some supernatural ability to influence the future?
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@richards1052
Yeah, I guess I conveniently left out the standing orders from army rabbis to collect foreskins and rape people…and you called what I said a bubbeh maiseh?
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This is the “cheat code” that Hamas seems to have unlocked with several scholars of int’l law
Embed themselves deeply enough within the civilian populace, put them in harms way as much as you can and no military campaign that can realistically defeat them is legal
At a certain point, if your army won't fight within legal limits, then you can't fight at all.
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“They threw Sunkist jellies at my bar mitzvah”
“Oh yeah? They threw laffy taffies at mine!”
“You’ll never guess what the Rabbi threw at my bar mitzvah”
#WalkerTexasRabbi
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Oh no if someone did that to me I’d be so owned
I really hope no one tries this at my house
while I’m out doing errands for the next 3 hours
with the door open
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I was waiting to post this until it was confirmed by multiple sources I trust (that are
@Stanford
)
Just read this. Hopefully widely reported on tomorrow
These are 1930s vibes
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My sources tell me only Left Twix supports invading Yemen, while Right Twix wants nothing to do with it.
Boycott these brands that support the invasion of Yemen.
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A big “L” for those of us hoping that the White House would adopt the following definition of antisemitism
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NGOs: Medical institutions are always innocent bystanders
Israel: They should be, but Hamas is cynically fighting from within medical institutions
Protesters in NYC: Hold our beer
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You don’t honor victims of terror with violence
You don’t support a state by ignoring its laws and obligating its security forces to deal with you amidst an anti-terror operation
You don’t serve Hashem or our people by wantonly attacking a town
Was today not tragic enough?
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