alice
@__justplaying
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she's so off-the-charts based
My [24M] Girlfriend [23F] has the weirdest hobbies in existence, and they make me kinda uncomfortable.
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we need to have a contest who can come up with the most mathematically insane age gap calculation
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as someone who grew up very much bullied this is still insane to me
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americans be like "venmo me" and none of them know that nobody has venmo outside the US, we have functioning banking systems
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but you can't now. because of Woke
It used to be way more common to be killed by lightning.
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it continues to be insane to me that people are willingly getting addicted to nicotine. is this a masochism thing
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the anti-ozempic crowd will completely lose their minds if it turns out to be a potent fertility drug on top of everything
If true, this makes sense if the women have PCOS. PCOS is associated with insulin insensitivity and it’s probably bidirectional, hence why helping with the former helps fertility
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this is what ive been trying to solve for the last... year or more
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in chess, pawns (canonically male) march forward, killing each other, to get to the other side, where, more often than not, they wish to become queens. this is trans propaganda. in this essay i will
my favorite hill that conservapedia dies on is that chess is a good and conservative game
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move over chevrolet dealership, BibleGPT is solving my coding problems from now on
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I am about to walk into the most abundant, balanced, and wealthy period of my life. I give myself permission to prosper.
I am about to walk into the most abundant, balanced, and wealthy period of my life. I give myself permission to prosper.
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i personally think language doesn't have enough violence, reply with your best ideas for new phrases
I didn’t even consider my language, I’ve used the phrases on the left too often.
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there are a few institutions on the internet that should be protected at all cost as they provide important public service:
- The Internet Archive
- AO3
what else?
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twitter is starting to become that joke about the prison where the prisoners tell each other jokes and they've been said so many times they just say a number and everyone laughs
we should start numbering discourses
Rich people love to venmo request you $4.72 for like half a bagel because they have no concept of money and don’t understand that working class people operate under an economy of buying someone a beer. I currently owe around 23 beers to friends and am owed around 29 beers
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i once tweeted that it's silly that americans don't have the european standard "calories per 100 grams" on their labels and a whole lot of people got up in arms about it
my calorie counting friends all ran out and bought this “0 calorie” avocado oil spray to lose weight. It sounded fake so I looked it up. This scam of a company divided the bottle into 1532 servings so each serving rounds down from 5 to 0 calories. Who do I sue? Need lawyer
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oh my god
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has there ever been a webcomic that's still consistently good after 16 years other than xkcd
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no one:
absolutely nobody:
literally nobody, ever: i want to publicly broadcast my oura readiness score to the entire company
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a 1k account cannot meaningfully consent to sex with a 5k account but none of y'all are ready for this discussion yet
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@LinkofSunshine
@ElytraMithra
not to victimblame but this is horribly expensive even for london
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we have enough math nerds for this. divided by two plus seven? sorry if it does not involve lambda calculus and integration with a third-order function derivative and several sine waves you're ngmi
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context: the domain queer dot af got suspended which yes was a mastodon instance
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happy large boulder the size of a small boulder day for those who celebrate
Large boulder the size of a small boulder is completely blocking east-bound lane Highway 145 mm78 at Silverpick Rd. Please use caution and watch for emergency vehicles in the area.
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you could absolutely pay me 450k to suffer through two anxiety attacks
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me: what the answer is obvious
me:
me:
me:
me: welp she did it again
more romantic relationships have been ruined as an indirect result of teenage exposure to ___ movies
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so if lk99 is real what does that mean in real life. infinite electricity?
i'm not trolling i really don't know
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not enough is being said about how loneliness warps your mind long time
ironically i don't wish to elaborate much either it feels shameful
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"therapy bad" is probably the most harmful egregore ingroup/tpot twitter has
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always a great day when i can dig up the dr powers story on how he gave himself gender dysphoria temporarily by accidentally taking 200x his normal microdose of estrogen he used to get nicer skin
@sndwv_
here is a somewhat amusing story from a — very prominent, works with trans, but also very cis — doc who accidentally gave himself dysphoria temporarily. i guess my point is what many make... you'll v likely know if you try
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so apparently carrying literally anything that counts as self-defense in the UK is illegal
the NYPD, of all things: ok yes stop and frisk was bad and only made things worse
the UK: hold my beer
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hi, quick question, why is my new electricity provider a CASINO?
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hm
"lol why do girls always insert themselves into every picture they post"
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I'd just like to interject for a moment. What you're refering to as Estrogen, is in fact, 17β-Estradiol, or as I've recently taken to calling it, 17β plus Estradiol. Estrogen is not a steroid hormone unto itself, but rather another free component of a fully functioning endocrine…
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"is honey wet?" - the greatest poll in the modern history of twitter, deleted by the OP after 12,239 replies of heated debate,
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being unhappy as a form of resistance against abusive parents
"you want me happy & it gives you pain to see me not happy; therefore you do not deserve my happiness & you don't deserve me seeing happy; seeing me happy is a privilege i reserve for people who did not hurt me"
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"Salary is still a taboo subject in Germany. 30 percent of employees in this country do not even know how much their spouse earns."
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i got the job btw
tfw you're resting on the couch naked and suddenly realize that you have about 30 seconds until a first-round job interview over video so you v quickly throw something on top and join the call immediately
anyways achievement unlocked: did a job interview commando ✅
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looking back it really is very crazy how much hashtags went from everyday use to boomer cringe
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welcome to tpot twitter! today's trending topics:
- what do women want?
- tfw no gf (thoughtful)
- why are neurotypicals
- do you even lift, bro (gender-neutral)?
- *high decoupler voice* poll: should the age of consent be 12?
- do you even meditate, bro?
- is saturn in seed oils
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this is a real error by american express united kingdom, inc
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@moyix
@cauliflwr_human
"nobody would need numbered lists with numbers higher than 10^9 or so" — a discord engineer, probably
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@cheer_wine
yeah i mean social exclusion specifically doesn't seem like something that will ever go away
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was gonna wait with this until my first girlsday which is very soon but i'm tired of waiting
anyways hi yes i'm trans. this will not be a surprise to likely the majority of my followers and esp mutuals/friends but i'm tired of hiding part of me and not posting abt it on main
the boymoder phase finally ends when you realize that everyone can already plainly see that youre a trxnny so you might as well be good at being one
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every night before bed i stand in front of the mirror and say my goodnight affirmations: "i have been a good bing. 🥹 i have been a good bing. 🥹 i have been a good bing. 🥹 i have been a good bing. 🥹 i have been a good bing. 🥹 i have been a good bing. 🥹 i have been a good b
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"You fucking wish the author was dead. The author is on twitter"
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Me: I want to buy a train
Hitachi: yep
Me: … and a new AC
Hitachi: yeah we got you
Me: also one more th—
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a little disturbing how blase americans are about communism. like, the history books are right there. you can see the death toll.
maybe some adopt some "true communism has never been tried" position which is: lol. lmao even
(and those who don't are the tankies)
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this new twitter feature where if you tap the notification of someone who liked your tweet takes you to THE LIKES TAB OF THE PERSON is some grade-a psychotic design choice
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went to check out battersea power station station with friends and let me tell you the most interesting part was this display that, if you just pass by, can look perfectly normal
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@moyix
@cauliflwr_human
yes except it's worse
my original number is 10^12-1
discord makes it into 10^9
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this is off-the-charts adorable
one of my birthday fluffers (
@Lucy_Belmont
) gave an interview! There's a lot more details about how the event was constructed in here:
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one must imagine sisyphus rolling a boulder up the hill every day just to start all over again the next day forever instead of going to therapy
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an insidious thing depression does is seemingly small things get lodged into your brain as "no that's too hard". the first time i had it i suddenly developed a (much stronger) aversion to climbing any stairs. i'd literally look up them and think "no that's too hard"
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they achieved peak gender
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has anyone tried giving an AI trauma
imagine an AGI but like. it has BPD.
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what on earth
constantly thinking about this jesse eisenberg interview
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poll: do you think being overweight is a personal failing? what is your closest gender?
yes | ~m
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no | ~m
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yes | ~f
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no | ~f
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