laurence
@functi0nZer0
Followers
40,286
Following
3,808
Media
7,093
Statuses
46,078
“a scholar” - coindesk; “an absurdist” - bloomberg; “a disappointment” - my mom // creator @wildcatfi , spad @eulerfinance , exhausted @law_leeds
UK
Joined March 2009
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
Pedro Sánchez
• 391126 Tweets
Wizkid
• 298053 Tweets
woozi
• 218755 Tweets
Wasit
• 171005 Tweets
Scotland
• 112930 Tweets
#TimnasDay
• 76865 Tweets
Uzbek
• 76661 Tweets
Thiago Silva
• 73152 Tweets
#محمد_بن_سلمان
• 55526 Tweets
Mufasa
• 53318 Tweets
Jerome
• 39138 Tweets
The Lion King
• 37756 Tweets
Arhan
• 25257 Tweets
Blue Ivy
• 23456 Tweets
Rock in Rio
• 19071 Tweets
Medina
• 18725 Tweets
ドラゴンボール
• 18189 Tweets
Ridho
• 16634 Tweets
ARMY ARE FOREVER BEHIND BTS
• 16106 Tweets
Sananta
• 14272 Tweets
Qちゃん
• 11901 Tweets
Barry Jenkins
• 11517 Tweets
鈴木千裕
• 11258 Tweets
Gajadi
• 10615 Tweets
GRACIE
• 10475 Tweets
A dude has a meticulous 2 year plan to include a backdoor into almost every system in the world
Only to fail because a guy started to notice that his ssh login is 0.5 seconds slow for some reason
Study autistic byte-wizards
101
3K
31K
Why are threesomes only for sex? Why can’t I join in on a couple’s argument in public if I have a good point to make?
146
4K
20K
I was laid off by Twitter today. I’m an algorithmicist and psychological operations specialist looking to possibly transition into nation-state level disinformation broadcasting roles. Please DM me if you have any leads!
376
1K
15K
DO NOT CLICK THE LINK GOING AROUND TO THE “UNCENSORED” SBF SEX TAPE
IT IS A VIRUS THAT FORCES ALL OF YOUR TWEETS TO BE WRITTEN IN UPPER CASE
430
398
6K
The SEC suing the same company that the US government is selling Bitcoin through is so astonishingly funny I might have a stroke
97
921
5K
I will never find it anything less than hilarious that Ramanujan noclipped through numbers like no one else who came before him to the point where he felt a need to add a 1/30 to his factorial approximation algo for precision
And there's no proof for it
It just fucking works
55
549
5K
Okay, rare serious post for a minute because I have a bunch of non/anti-crypto followers and I’m getting lots of DMs.
The FTX collapse will be pushed as “a failure of crypto”. It was not: it was - and is - a failure of an opaque shadow bank.
217
889
4K
My wife is furious at me for discovering that the absolutely undefeated way to get my little one to calm down from a screaming fit is just to toss her up and down in the air five or six times
Ten years of paediatric knowledge upended by someone yeeting a baby
Skill issue
63
190
4K
Just found a file called wallet.dat with a creation date of 2012 on one of my external drives
115
69
4K
You are not 'locked in', you are 22 and gambling with five hundred dollars
175
267
4K
Just tried setting up an Ethereum validator and Gary Gensler came into my house and shot my dog?
128
302
3K
36
355
3K
I asked a software engineer once what it would cost to build this today. I will never forget his answer:
“We can’t, we don’t know how to do it.”
191
180
3K
BREAKING: Shock rippled across Solana today as everyone realised that their secret sauce for increasing transactions per second was to just make seconds last longer
93
166
2K
*record scratch*
*freeze frame*
yep, that’s me. you’re probably wondering how i ended up in this situation.
66
168
2K
Quitting as president of a company as massive as OpenAI with a lower-case only email is so insanely based I can hardly believe it’s real
After learning today’s news, this is the message I sent to the OpenAI team:
2K
5K
36K
55
85
2K
I would like to preemptively frontrun the inevitable by announcing that I once accidentally walked out of a Waitrose with a pack of smoked salmon I forgot to pay for
59
49
2K
> transfer 5 ETH from FTX
> put it into dog coin that rugs 20 minutes later
> transfer another 42 ETH from FTX
> buy WTF and get sandwiched for well over 99%
> at 7,618 gwei
Are... are you okay, anon?
116
185
2K
if you raise 10 million dollars and then lose it all, that's taxable.
123
184
2K
27
109
2K
“Fear is the mind killer”
You are down 6% on a portfolio worth $1,300, log off
83
102
2K
I have changed my mind
I am on the side of the SEC now
143
101
2K
Unsure if there’s any stronger proof that God hates cryptocurrency than flooding a desert country when its adherents arrive
97
102
2K
Bought one ETH spot at $1690
Truly lucky to have $1400 worth of the future of finance
Wonder what I’m going to spend my $1180 on
64
67
2K
You’re laughing? Ethereum loses twenty billion off its market cap today and you’re laughing?
230
80
2K
I just smashed my 4K TV in front of over 30 guests at my party because of the Genesis withdrawal freeze today. My wife just took our crying kids and said they’re all spending the night in a motel. This lender has ruined my life and my party. I can’t do this any longer. Goodbye.
177
79
2K
The premise of the tweet is busted but misinformation is my stock in trade, so the post stays up
(Thanks
@wirefall_
, hadn’t seen this)
5
60
2K
38
89
2K
I'm tired, boss
Introducing Blast: The only Ethereum L2 with native yield for ETH and stablecoins.
We’ve raised $20m from
@Paradigm
and
@StandardCrypto
to build the L2 that helps you earn more.
Details on how to get early access at the end of the thread👇
6K
8K
16K
54
101
2K
Just found a file called wallet.dat with a creation date of 2012 on one of my external drives
115
69
4K
163
59
2K
Nah, nah, you wanted to use court as a weapon, you get to see court used as a weapon
You wanted to vindictively doxx someone and now you’ve found out that everyone here that actually matters thinks you’re a complete clown
You’re doing great sweetheart, keep it up
40
82
1K
I know it’s been spoken about so, so much, but I still find it mind-breaking how Elizabeth Warren - someone who I actively cheered on 12 years ago during Occupy Wall Street, became what she is today: the ultimate water carrier for American banking interests
Just *fascinating*
101
149
1K
If you liked Celsius, you’re going to love Goldman Sachs Celsius
64
71
1K
She’s a 10 but she’s contractually obliged to stay until the end of your NFT NYC party
30
58
1K
We’ve had 3 ACs running for years and you’re surprised that Celsius is going to zero?
64
92
1K
An NFT project on Solana is allegedly demanding the Solana Foundation pay them a $5 million ransom to stay there
My sides lmao
122
83
1K
Vitalik dumping half a million bucks of Maker after a single Rune tweet is the level of silent judgment I aspire to
42
74
1K
Don’t let them gaslight you, it’s been 15 years and there’s been no real use case for crypto and there never will be
909
308
4K
29
107
1K
New TV show idea
Jordan Peterson, Andrew Tate, Alex Jones, Lex Fridman and Nassim Taleb live in a house together and have to compete in collaborative tasks to get the right to tweet for a day
56
46
1K
Tagging both your ex and your mistress in the same tweet announcing your divorce is possibly one of the most psychotic things you can do
Sometimes in life you make mistakes you can't undo. Sad to tell you all that
@Bethanyliterary
and I are getting a divorce. She filed divorce papers to me today.
To get it out of the way so there are no questions, yes, I am with
@DuchessOfDeFi
.
4K
398
2K
58
51
1K
How shit is your memory?
Y’all ever think about how no big figures in cryptocurrency have been assassinated yet.
41
4
92
35
76
1K
So anyway, I'm in Bloomberg now, how's your day going
81
97
1K
Introducing the impossibly dynastically named Marian Aerin Nichola Day
Born 15:33 on Valentine’s Day weighing 7lb 15oz
Mother is well
Procedure went perfectly
She is wonderful
257
4
1K
Gary Gensler will now be remembered as the head of the organisation responsible for the greatest Bitcoin-related pump and dump of the last ten years
How poetic
21
82
1K
This image is a pretty good litmus test for politics - do you regard this man with respect or disgust?
113
21
1K
POV you just interviewed for Sushi and it didn't go the way you thought it would
30
62
1K
It is with no small amount of regret that I inform you all that it is so over
78
17
1K
First they laugh at you
Then they ignore you
Then they fight you
Then they tag inversebrah
36
90
1K
Do you hear that? That’s the sound of thousands of Argent X wallets being removed from Chrome
83
122
1K
Do Kwon live tweeting after emptying the entire LFG BTC clip like
11
42
995
Wife has been asking me to choose some art to hang up in the house, because everything we have she either painted or bought herself
Just got a print of this for the living room
63
43
991
“It’s only three million dollars” is one of the most terminally online things I’ve ever read
Some of you need to flip burgers again for a few months
41
65
992
Man really just took an average of two numbers and called it a day
47
34
937
I grew up on these streets
98
42
964
Need my recovery tools for this
Will dig around later, file's not going anywhere
45
1
945
I’m assembling a team
Who's the definition of a 'stupid person's idea of a clever person'
5K
453
6K
103
64
896
No real point to this thread, but wanted to say my piece into the void.
Fuck Sam Bankman-Fried.
Fuck Caroline Ellison.
Fuck Zhu Su.
Fuck Kyle Davies.
Fuck Alex Mashinsky.
Fuck your shadow banks.
Stay wiped out. Don't come back.
48
83
917
You’re welcome everyone
There’s a town about fifteen minutes out from me called Mooncoin
I will make the pilgrimage
I will save all of our bags
15
3
186
67
24
824
My daughter turned one today
The lives of both my wife and I are immeasurably better for her being in it, she’s a total joy
It’s been the privilege of a lifetime to watch her clue herself in about how the world works
I’ve posted her a lot in this last year, mostly because all…
211
7
922
Not American
But maybe Congress shouldn’t get to override one of the elements of the Bill of Rights
Like, that shouldn’t be a thing you can do
52
139
931
If my wife cheated on me I wouldn’t fight the guy, I would take him out for a drink and LEARN from him. Find out what makes him BETTER than me and grow. It’s all about growth and HUSTLE, never stop grinding, 24/7, ALPHA SHIT.
142
57
893
19
49
907
Ansem and Mert hitting more tps (tweets per second) than Solana is rn
44
56
910
The xz backdoor is, well, setting a fire under the entire Linux ecosystem... but I'm also so impressed with how it was set up: 2-yr maintainership, oss-fuzz, etc.
...and who knows how long it would've stayed undetected if the injected sshd code ran faster (<600ms)
Highlights:
77
2K
12K
1
19
918