Samuel 🏴☠️🏳️🌈
@Sam_rvb
Followers
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Following
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48,762
I hope my self in an alternate universe is doing better. | 30+ so 🔞 | Politics, OFMD, and Good Omens - not really much in between.
United States
Joined August 2017
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Last Seen Profiles
Pinned Tweet
It’s not yet complete but I’m currently working on a story that blends the worlds of Good Omens and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, wherein both Crowley and Aziraphale erase their memories of one another.
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@RookEldritch
@LUCYANARANDALL
It’s a sack of flesh that’s going to rot or be burnt to ashes after about 80 years. Enjoy the ride and stop being judgmental about people decorating their personal flesh sack that you have no right to control.
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3K
@Ladypolitik
@ArmoredGoat
@85roblems
I’m convinced 90% of the people even protesting lock downs are just having withdrawal from yelling at waitresses and other service workers. Gotta get that superiority complex high somehow.
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2K
@JoshuaPotash
That’s almost as much as I make, in the med field where I deal with HIPPA, insurance, blood, urine, feces, COVID, and everything else that us HCW have to deal with. I am GLAD they are making a decent living but I am so angry other companies won’t stop putting profit over people.
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2K
@BrynnTannehill
@JohannesTEvans
I’m getting my passport soon. My house is going on the market within the month. This has made up my mind. I don’t know where I can go but I’m going to get some ducks in a row in case it comes to that. I am trans & gone through some surgeries & am on HRT & I’m not going back.
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2K
@Fred_Delicious
Did anyone make a “verified” Putin account and surrender to Ukraine? If not, big missed opportunity.
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@james_f_thomas
Boy you are stronger than me because I would have gotten my ass out of that chair half a hair cut done & left. I feel like pointing out peoples’ pre-surgical genitalia (which calling someone AFAB/AMAB without consent is) is not a good customer convo, like religion or politics.
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1K
@eyeskewer
“Someone handed me a gun, gave me a booklet on how to safely use it, and told me not to load it and point it at myself, yet I still shot myself. It’s their fault.”
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@hasanthehun
I literally sent this meme to my family group chat this morning at 11:34am EST. This is America.
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@Eric_Williams_1
@jmartNYT
@jdawsey1
Or, perhaps, to remind those who walk those halls of what happened, they just place new panes on either side. Keep it where it is but reenforce it.
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789
I finally made the 40 orange glaze cake! It took me longer than it should have but it turned out lovely!
@sambaschutte
#OurFlagMeansDeath
#RenewOurFlagMeansDeath
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@kavilion
@fka2much336
Nah it’s illegal to cruise in the left hand lane. Everyone knows the truck who regulates traffic, slows down as soon as they get next to someone, and blocks anyone from passing because their dick can’t get hard any other way. White truck shouldn’t have been playing games.
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@JoanMBrenner1
@JoshuaPotash
And I’ve a friend who lives there and walks around just fine by herself at 7 months pregnant. It’s one or two city blocks that are getting graffitied and whatnot. Not an entire city.
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453
HBOMax should jump scare us all with a special Halloween episode of OFMD that has absolutely nothing to do with the main storyline.
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@lumpen_princess
@senorflan
A lot of people don’t want to admit that children are also people who can form opinions and experience the world in their own way.
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@GoodReddit
If you tasked a group of people to come up with the straightest thing a young 20s man could do, this would be a top contender.
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@theOGX100
@CNN
It’s more that insurance premiums are determined by what claims get paid out along with personal driving history. If geico can now get sued for this, EVERYONE is gonna suffer & end up with higher premiums. Aren’t defending them but I don’t wanna pay an extra $50/month for this BS
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@WizMonifaaa
I CRIED all day. Looked up lawyers about suing the vet for paralyzing my dog. I carried him up and down stairs all day. All because he wanted to make me feel guilty for taking his ass to the vet for a bladder infection.
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@NinaStrohminger
Poor people aren’t notoriously bad at the estimates in differences. We know how bad it is.
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@gay_goths
Contact the office manager, or if it’s run by a large multi-state corporation, contact corporate. It’s a quick complaint that can make a difference for another patient in the future who may not be as secure emotionally or mentally.
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@ohnokatherine
@thinklikegemini
So speaking as a trans man who doesn’t go around in real life announcing that I have a vagina and works in the medical field, I would never be offended if someone didn’t want my services because I’m a man if it was for their comfort. This convo isn’t about ftm seeing a gyno.
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@actofgays
Legitimately in the first fucking episode one of the Brits called Frenchie a slave. After making shitty comments and the camera pans to Frenchie and Oluwande making uncomfortable glances at each other. Like ??? How the fuck did people miss any of it?
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@regiserpent
You’re forgetting that gay time is different from straight time and 3 days is basically a lifetime.
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@theRadicleLeft
I have no hobbies besides doom scrolling this god forsaken hell site and laying in bed awake at night fantasizing about walking into the woods and never coming back. That’s how I handle working 40 hours a week.
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@LauraMiers
I’ve had COVID once. I still have high blood pressure and I definitely had some type of brain damage happen because I’m not as smart as I used to be. Like I can tell it takes me longer to figure things out. I don’t like it and do not want to get COVID again, ever.
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@ladiedbird
She doesn’t look like she’s seen an iPhone but looks as if she has seen a cloaked man play the lute.
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@gentIebeard
Also Stede was panicking and thought he ruined Ed?? He was agreeing with Chauncey that he ruined everything and just thought going home and back to his little corner where he was “supposed to be” would let everyone else go back to being better off without him.
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@perseusthefool
Male history teacher married a girl from my grade. She became a teacher later in life and she’s now in prison for statutory rape of a 16 year old male from the school. No LGBT+ in sight on that one.
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@SunnyB_stard
My TL has been flooded with people saying they don’t want a sex scene or even heavily implied sex for Ed & Stede but no one was mad about the implied sex/after sex cuddling of Oluwande & Jim. Methinks it’s a whole lot of homophobia & transphobia rolled into a ball of excuses.
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@EuphoriTori
I don’t understand why the federal government isn’t doing anything about it. Like they’re just going to let Florida become a mini-white supremacist country and call it a day?
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@ericbshaw
@properbighole
@mattxiv
Both my parents were alive when interracial marriage was federally legalized. Whole bunch of people still running around with grandparents and parents who fought against that and many other Civil Rights movements, and yet nooo one talks about that fact.
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@CBSNews
@krisvancleave
Where are the rubber bullets and pepper spray? The cop cars slamming into these people?
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@cari_luna
My hope is that NO ONE is out in DC except proud boys and the national guard. No reporters, no innocent by standers, no counter protestors. Just them with no audience but people who will arrest them for breaking the law. Won’t happen but I can hope.
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@1Schoolhouse
lol I had a nurse once who didn’t know I worked in the medical field also. I described my pain and its location in laymen’s terms because she looked 18 or 19. I could hear her mocking me from the hall as if she didn’t believe I could experience pain there. Dr ended up sending me
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@mme_hardy
@pookleblinky
It was probably because interracial marriage being illegal and the kkk was still actively murdering people in interracial relationships, and many black Americans who were able to would claim to be white to avoid heavy, sometimes deadly discrimination as a survival technique.
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@RudeOnion
@mattxiv
People should be free to make their own food choices without the government mandating what’s ok or not, yes. You want the government to tell people what they can eat?
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@WizMonifaaa
My dog had to get a cystocentesis done & the next day he was literally dragging his back legs like he was paralyzed. On a Sunday. When I couldn’t afford an emergency vet bill. I planned to take him to his vet Mon morning. Guess who was running around Mon morning like nothing?!
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@douglasritz
@MollyJongFast
@RepJeffries
It’s been proven rioting during BLM peaceful protests were largely started by right wing agitators. The same people who rioted at the capitol provoked rioting at peaceful protests to try and start their beloved fantasy race war.
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@KaylaAncrum
A piece of art that pulls a memory deep from someone’s childhood only for that memory to be chased away by nostalgia and the sadness of all the years of no longer feeling safe with those same parents? Heartbreaking, beautiful art with simple lines and shape.
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@gwenstacying
I honestly think none of them have spoken to any actual women before and just assume all women watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians and nothing else, because one of their daughters watched it one time and that executive told everyone else that’s what women watch.
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@cursed_monk
These comics make me glad I’m not in a straight relationship. What’s wrong with someone going “hey help me pack for the trip, here’s your half of the list”? Instead of doing it all herself and getting mad about it.
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@brdlysct
@AntleredD
It’s a loophole so Starbucks can say it wasn’t retaliation for unionizing, which is illegal.
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@MediocreDave
So wait. She never said the kid owned the house meaning stepdad just decided on his own without talking to the mom to charge the kid rent? While living there for free while I’m assuming he thinks the mom is paying the mortgage herself???
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@LevitheWilson
@MorePerfectUS
Yeah you helped your dad out. You didn’t work for below market value wages for a multi billion dollar corporation so they could add a few extra dollars of income onto their billions. If you can’t see the difference, maybe your dad should have made you do homework instead of work.
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@Juancheloh
@drowsylia
@millamoluigi
Same people who probably think it’s ok to belittle front line employees for something completely out of their control then get offended if the supervisor backs up the employee.
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@FordNewsEurope
Mmm I hope you guys legitimately paint an actual truck like that to piss off all the people in here crying about the picture of the truck with gold and rainbows.
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@ijusabb
@simsimmaaz
This 😭 they’re just out there announcing to the world that their parents never taught them to wash their whole body or use lotion like it’s normal
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@theashleyray
My history teacher was the volley ball coach and was definitely in a “relationship” with one of them. Fast forward a decade, they married and she became a teacher at the same school and started a “relationship” with a male student. She’s in jail now.
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@ryanwmscreative
We found these after my grandmother passed away in her pantry, a bit less than two years ago.
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@patsjokes
@bocxtop
It hasn’t changed since 2009. How is it ok it went from $5.15 in 2003 to $7.25 in 2009, and then stalled? That’s a $2.10 change in 6 years. It should federally be $11.45 if it kept that trend up. But it’s still $7.25.
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@tidesof_time
I think Lucius was the first person in the crew to identify with Stede. He was all for mutiny at first & then they sat down to lunch with the Brits—you can see the pain on Lucius’ face when they talk about making Stede kiss a horse. He was determined to see Stede happy after that
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@stebedonnet
@FlagFuckery
Stede is the embodiment of what being raised in an environment where you’re shown and told your every way of feeling is wrong and s1 wasn’t long enough to break those walls down. He finally let himself realize in the last episode that he WAS feeling love and it was ok to feel it.
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@Eugene_V_Delts
@nypost
Especially with his half-ass “call the police to say a hiking partner is turning around and walking alone” BS. No one who thinks someone will walk back to a car to sit in the AC calls the cops ~just in case~, not even the cops. It’s weird.
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@Capt_Planets
@nickcash
@f_a_r_t_s
@CaseyExplosion
Dude. It’s literally theft if your boss doesn’t compensate you appropriately for your time worked. Just because they didn’t take an actual bill out of your wallet doesn’t make it lesser.
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@AuroraCorvin
@rawsalerts
It’s because America runs on the principle of doing the bare minimum to cut costs. We are starting to see what happens when there’s minimal regulation and companies care only about profits.
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@ItsDanSheehan
single patient showed up. One of their husbands had to come rescue them from the parking lot with his truck / chain for any of them to leave. Another coworker didn’t make it in because she crashed into a ditch WITH HER BABY IN THE CAR. Corporations literally do not care about us.
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@pughcraze
@bengleib
If something that size leaves the womb, it dies. Immediately. It’s not viable life.
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@PLPercussionist
@DrJenGunter
For a lot of women, their pancreas. Gestational diabetes doesn’t always stop after gestation and goes full blown diabetes regardless of the woman’s weight. My mom also has never grown her thick hair back after she had me. Not an organ but it does still bother her, 35 years later.
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@1Schoolhouse
for a stat ultrasound because she suspected my gallbladder ruptured. Nurse was real fucking nice to me after. I’m not even disabled, so I imagine that same girl was even worse to patients she thought she could hold more power over.
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@lixac19
@RowBlack_
I’m 33 & anyone under like 25 is a child. Imagine as an adult with a job, house, bills & knee pain trying to talk to someone about things when they just finished high school & are glad that they don’t have to deal with Mr. Jones’ math class anymore. Has zero to do with legal age.
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@alaskastardust
@SlowPiracy
Only reason I’m angry about the taxes I pay is because it feeds the military that is already over financed. Instead of spending more than the other top 9 countries combined on our military, people could have free education, free school lunches, or bridges that aren’t collapsing.
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@visualbasic97
@JohannesTEvans
I’m petty enough I would be taking them to small claims court for that $30 back plus payment for time wasted on the fake interview.
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@GowronsGlory
@aWildSalem
I have tattoos and have a really good job in the medical field, and I’ve got insanely good credit and own my own home and all that other bullshit people consider things someone with “good judgement” would have. Stop believing in a pre-1990s stereotype.
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@Freeyourmindkid
I have to go to a cardiologist next week. I’m 33. The only major change in my life has been contracting COVID in the past year. I can’t even go up a flight of stairs anymore without my heart rate shooting into cardio levels and getting dizzy.
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@NotBrunoAgain
I’m gonna be honest. I’ve been having some serious doubts about how I understand the world lately and it’s mostly because I didn’t realize I walk amongst people who genuinely believe Starbucks writes names as status versus who the drink being set on the counter belongs to.
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@offbeatorbit
Her snoot was only slightly gray when we adopted her. It’s now spreading down from her snoot to her chest.
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@RioSlade
Overheard two elderly ladies talking the other day about how one of their daughters had a stroke at 33, and “no doctors have any idea why.” The entire time, both were basically coughing their lungs out of their bodies. 🤦♂️ The whole “return to normal” propaganda really worked.
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179
@wiseoldduck
@briandaly473
@GregWildSmith
@ZackBornstein
Look at you, being obtuse on purpose to pretend you’re smarter than people who take a pandemic seriously. How cute.
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@oldenoughtosay
I bet they’d be the same type of people to think two gays living together are just really, really, really good roommates.
1
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180
@evilwizardrat
@eargaze
That’s because they’re taught from an early age that sex is bad, weird, and embarrassing unless done in a specific way within a marriage for procreation. Anything that’s slightly weird or embarrassing to them then automatically equals sex.
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@nikostratis
My best friend’s mom worked at a grocery store & had for like 15 years. A new manager yelled at her over something she did right but he thought she did wrong. She calmly walked away from him, took the bottom jar out of a pickle display which knocked the whole thing over, & left.
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@mcgearybeth1
@RealMattCouch
And it’s a choice for a private company to require x, y, or z from their employees. They can get a job somewhere else if they won’t comply with requirements to work for a specific private company.
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@BromeIiads
I thought it was well established in s1 that the world of piracy is where people escaped to to get away from societal expectations of gender?? Including toxic masculinity??
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@suzie462
@hirollerette
Aye you know what
@WellsFargo
used to do to me? I’d deposit my check, the banking app would show it cleared the next day or two, I’d then use my card, and then they’d place the charges ahead of the check deposit so that they could fuck me over for an “overdraft” fee.
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151
@slugwave
@Yousuf___M
What? You can literally talk to people & have disagreements & debates with people. If you’re afraid of disagreeing/debating because it’ll make you be “seen as racist,” you’re holding onto some shit you know you shouldn’t.
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@menance2daWWW
@xxdejagirlxx
@cdiesels
Damn you have some serious fragile baby masculinity if you think shotgunning an iced coffee makes someone “not a man.”
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@BigStoicPotato
@murderxbryan
With that logic, it would be fine for basically any country the US government has meddled in to bomb entire cities of civilians in the USA as payback for all the war crimes our government, military, and hired military contractors have committed? Is that what you’re saying?
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@peta
@RespectElves
Maybe if you actually let people adopt animals from you, you wouldn’t have to slaughter them for fun. My grandmother ran a rescue for a decade and only three dogs were never adopted out. She kept them and still cares for the two who are still alive (and very old).
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@MarksLarks
Not neatly laid out, but eggs from our hens. After this, we did get some blue layers and some dark chocolate brown layers too.
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@afrodesiaq
It’s so they can ramp up anti-lgbt+ rhetoric and get more of us killed so they can then introduce laws to “keep us safe” from the violence. :) It’s not hard to figure out. What’s infuriating is no big names blatantly calling it out for what it is.
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@ItsDanSheehan
Last time we had an ice storm here, they tried to make us go in because HQ is in North Carolina where they miraculously don’t have ice storms. I made it down the block, slid, and called and said they don’t pay me enough to replace my car. Three people made it into work, and not a
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@VoidOfRoses
Honestly if the first few humans who decided food and shelter should cost money were hunted down, we wouldn’t be in this fucking mess.
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152
@azirakiss
Nina’s internal monologue: Blokes spend so much time with each other they can’t even go home to change clothes. They are together. Married? No, if they were married, they’d go home together. Let me accost the angry one about this.
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@ItsJoeNotJoel
@SpeakPermission
@mtgreenee
Doing “pull ups” like that isn’t right. Just because a bunch of meat heads who can’t do pull ups without momentum decided that was a thing doesn’t make it a thing. That kind of “pull up” just damages joints and doesn’t really help build muscle. It’s shit kids do on a playground.
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@shizuearts
Why is everyone arguing with you that she’s “not black?” 😭 She’s Hawaiian, ofc she’s not black. She literally is drawn in the same style other Hawaiians in the movie are and not like how they drew the white people. The blond hair is a reference to Bay Watch and hair dye exists.
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@lesboblackbeard
They also moved in together immediately. Like Stede hadn’t even woken up from his stabbing and Ed’s just in his room looking at all his stuff.
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@cptsdfoundation
It’s because girls start getting hit on by gross old men at like age 11. It isn’t hormones.
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135
@patsjokes
@bocxtop
If it’s $15 where you are that’s cool but it’s federally $7.25. It’s $11 here in Virginia and our governor is trying to undo that change and revert it back to federal levels. Aka, $7.25.
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@equine__dentist
… you know. I’ve performed drug screens at my job for a very long time and seeing this here on Twitter finally made me realize it’s “i see you pee.”
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@strwbrrysunshne
A few months ago I actually set out to rewatch s1 with the express intent of viewing Izzy as the good guy and Ed as the bad guy and I literally couldn’t. First time we see them, Izzy is belittling Ed’s request. The second interaction we really see of them is Izzy LYING to him??
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