julia
@juumelo_
Followers
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Following
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Media
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Statuses
16K
not normal but very well put together
Joined December 2009
ideally my husband will be a massive nerd who likes kissing me a lot.
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how dare you I am the nicest sweetest most rage filled girl on earth.
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I love men they’re only ever thinking about sports or existential dread.
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when I have a husband I will make it so his little sports team never loses.
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he said his love language was physical touch so I kicked him in the chest.
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ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to annoy the shit out of a beautiful man for the rest of my life.
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maybe we can find out what the fuck is wrong with me over dinner sometime.
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I wish i could be normal about affection but my love language is merging souls.
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gonna drink so many beers tonight that they’re gonna have to put me in the machine that heals pokemon at the pokemon center.
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stop being dramatic I only stabbed you a little bit. do you wanna kiss.
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hi if ur not busy later do you wanna spend the rest of our lives together.
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nooo babe I love your fantasy football team the good ones scare me.
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I lied there’s no backshots I’m making you watch lord of the rings extended edition.
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but babe that’s my emotional support lord of the rings extended edition.
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yes babe you’re sooo good at video games now take off your shirt.
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I could never comprehend the male mind but men were so right about drinking beers outside.
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how is stalking even bad im just looking out for him shut the fuck up.
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the sluttiest thing a man can do is be super knowledgeable about sports.
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im so worried about tall boys. like be careful up there. maybe you should come down here and kiss me.
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the men were so right watching sports and drinking beer has in fact healed me.
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when men say they “have a lot going on right now” they mean their sports team is playing bad.
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@TheHyyyype the 12 year olds in the cod lobby know what slur to call you because they’re empaths.
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I summon pot of greed which allows me to draw three more beers from the fridge.
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hey bro just found out about this awesome thing called kissing me on the lips wanna try.
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for valentine’s day i’m gonna poison him then nurse him back to health.
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going to the gym on sunday mornings gives you magical powers actually
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on my salmon grindset I wanna fuck hard and kill myself immediately after.
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life is all about being a sexy girl and a weird dude at the same time.
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unironically the hottest thing a man can be is a massive fucking nerd.
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one thing about a white boy is he’s gonna be in a fantasy football league.
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this “making out for 11 hours straight” you mentioned sounds intriguing. have ur people call my people.
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I'm the sweetest horniest girl to ever exist unfortunately I am evil.
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a guy swam over to our sailboat just to ask for my number I have the aura of a thousand burning suns.
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"that's my girl" is absolutely delightful to hear like yes i am. you're so right say it again.
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the plan:.- get on a sailboat .- eat seafood for lunch and dinner .- drink 18 beers .- wear the smallest bikini known to man.- talk to ZERO men.- sleep .- repeat.
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there was a recent study proving that drinking 8 beers isn’t bad for you if you’re pure of heart.
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of course I like you babe I literally threaten to kill you all the time.
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being horny is a feminine trait men should be constantly thinking about sports ONLY.
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mini skirts are so fun like oops I didnt pay for any of my drinks tonight.
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no babe the holes in your wall are beautiful u punched these yourself? wow.
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self care is cancelled I'm gonna have a drink in a tiny bikini and act out.
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therapy is nice but dating an insane latina is a lot cheaper & more fun.
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I’m gonna go wear the tiniest fucking bikini to lay out in the sun and have a little drink if that’s okay with you guys.
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situationship but the situation is that we’ve been in love for centuries through different timelines.
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everything in moderation except for beautiful slightly unhinged women.
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I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you your soulmate is a violent latina.
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wow babe you did such a good job putting the little numbers in the little boxes today I’m so proud of you.
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u know a man is in love when he starts showing you youtube videos.
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