little drama boy
@ojimmycee
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You grieve unrealistic dreams, friendships that have run their course, ambitions that are out reach, old versions of you, first love and every one that comes after him that you thought were ' the one', lost innocence, a dilapidated economy, unrequited aspirations. Everything 😭
Nobody prepared us for the grief we would experiece in our 20s.
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Black Americans gotta be the worst demographic to ever exist.
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Imagine if you were a cow, we umelala tu. Alafu mtu anakuja anaanza kukuvuta vuta matiti saa kumi na moja asubuhi. And your own child wamemfungia na huko ati asinyonye atamaliza maziwa😂. Humans are definitely going to hell
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There's love at home. Plenty of it❤️
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Dating a man in their 30s is tricky because they can tell you to go get some nyama choma and then you end up in Isiolo to checking up on the progress of his goats project there.
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Mlisema tusiweke siasa kwa roho but now you're wishing that Ruto's presidency goes south just because Baba didn't win. I don't like the man but I need this country to work. You want the country to be a complete mess just to prove a point?
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Digo women ensuring that the gospel reaches all the ends of the earth😂
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PSA.
Nobody is ready for this conversation but I had to.
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Rich kids wote mtafutane mkuje Uhurupark on 20th Mimi na Sakaja tutawapikia githeri. It's not fair that you missed out on that in your childhood. Our sincerest apologies.
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Nimekumbuka interview Fulani nilienda and the panelist were like 3 Yvonnes. I was fighting for my life man. At some point I just said 'weuh' loudly and they were telling me to take my time😂😂😂. It's not easy. He's stellar. Through and through
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I just know that Raila isn't the saviour y'all make him look like
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Ulienda photo shoot ya femicide?
As a young woman, I am appalled, shocked, disturbed and saddened by the regularity of the extreme gender based violence incidents that have occurred in the recent days. The backward attitude of some members in the society towards this black and white issue is disappointing and…
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Huku nje you respect your boys depending on how attractive their babes are? Mko na mambo aki
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I just know Mama Idah would never host thanksgiving services every two business days using taxpayers money.
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So hamtatumia Fresh Fri tena sababu ya homosexuality lakini bado huwa mnakunywa maziwa ya brookside after that family done loot the whole country to poverty? OK.
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Kikuyus ate with those Wanjiku-Shiko, Wanjiru -Shiro, Wairimu -Nimo, Wangari- Karey and Muthoni- Soni nicknames. One of the best things to ever come out of the mountain
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Ugali/fish/kachumbari mostly. Mchele na fries mtu huanza kuskia njaa saa ya pregame
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After Levi the tax collector (Matthew) started following Christ, he went back to every household that he'd stolen from returning their money and some sort of interest. So if you really are sorry, we could start with some reparations for Kenyans that your regime has robbed.
"Kama kuna mtu mimi nimefanyia makosa, naomba msamaha" - President Uhuru Kenyatta
#NationalPrayerDay
#HudumaDay
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Mlikuwa mnatweet black lives matter but calling out industrial exploitation (by Indian companies) is where you draw the line? Ok
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MPs will do everything but what they've been elected for
If you were in doubt MPs are taking a recess to record the Jerusalema challenge
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Thinking that tracking your cycle means that you're sleeping around.
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Yes. For instance, Murkomen and Sudi don't experience the same president as me
do you guys believe the "we experience people differently" narrative ?
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Gen Zs wakitumia same approach kwa plantation huwa mnawaita entitled 😂 because that criticism is directed to you. Now that it's directed to politicians, you're actually rallying behind them. Which is a good thing. Sasa tunafaa tukuwe consistent and not profile them at work😆
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Unemployment is a serious pandemic in this country but if you, a young person sits your ass at home, you'll get accused of being lazy and choosy when it comes to jobs. I hate that we have come to this.
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Side chics bana si ata mkiwa pillow talk unaambia mzee ajenge kaspitali kwa county. Wtf are those numbers?
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Realization? That man has been a scammer all his life. But y'all chose to wear rose tinted glasses.
The realization that Ruto is a scammer and a liar is extremely hurtful. It's like walking into your house and finding your girl riding another man while moaning really loudly.
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Men are good people. They deserve people with good intentions too.
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My guilty pleasure is complimenting men and watching their reactions. They barely know what to do or say
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On a serious note, why don't they teach us about taxes in school?
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My FPL
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1. When you're boiling your legumes, throw in a carrot or more to reduce gas. Dispose off the carrot(s)
2. Add baking soda to your stews/sauces made from tomatoes to reduce the acidity
3. Add lemon to rice to whiten it
4. For raw salads, wash your vegetables in vinegar.
quote this tweet with a life hack that actually works. could be in the aspect of cooking, cleaning, driving, just life in general.
(air me & you’d see me in your dreams🧍🏾♀️)
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Alternatively, you can have this chart somewhere and do it randomly, so the week you have 4300, you tick the 43rd week. When you get 100, you cross out week one and so on.
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Kuna siku alisema ati hawezi ambia watu mafuta ye hupika nayo until the brand pays her. Hehehe
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I can't be friends with a man if sex is not on the table. What are we? Kids?
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Alcohol is such a mid drink for me to be addicted. Tastes like the devil's piss. No way I'd be hooked.
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When I was young, Mutahi Ngunyi was a very respectable manin his field. He was so articulate, objective and apt imo. At some point when I was around ten, I wanted to become a political analyst, like him. But see what he's reduced himself to... Alexa, play No Role Modelz.
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The Chinese have 7-day holidays and still have the largest economy globally so kama Kenya ni maskini mseme tu lakini sio kuwekelea holiday. Hizi suggestions zako labda uunde nchi yako. Donge?
My suggestions on Holidays:
1. If a public holiday falls on a Sunday, don't push it to Monday.
2. Collapse Jamhuri, Madaraka and Mashujaa into one holiday
3. On Easter, give either Friday or Monday.
4. Do away with Boxing day.
We're too poor to afford these holidays.
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I've always wondered why the Argentine population is the only predominantly white demographic in Latin America, so I did some digging and found out that they did some ethnic cleansing sometime in mid 19th century. I-
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Trying to maintain that arch after a few strokes:
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Sausage 500g is around 300 bob and nduma 1kg is 100 bob. Pick your fighter. Also nduma has a higher satiety value compared to Sausages
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Na mtu wa old mutual anaweza kueleza hizo vitu free but you'll have to block them after
Paying 20,000 bob for financial literacy classes from Just Ivy?
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Huwa mnasema hivi and 90% of campus girls date campus boys. People who date older men are very few. Hakuna competition hapa. In fact it's easier for you to date multiple women in campus than anywhere else. Something about access
Campus niggas wana compete na their fathers ku pull birds .
Hectic
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Naona mnatrash ugali ya kisiagi. Explains why mnakuliwa mabibi na watu wa boda
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Attacking people unprovoked about their looks is just weird and inhumane but 6 is also a very small number.
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Imagine someone telling you that you're unemployed because you don't know how to write a CV na ulilipa Joan career coach 20 large akuandikie CV. 😆😆That's a very disingenuous argument . Ebu mnyamaze😭
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Sa unaemdaje vacation na mtu kama hamko on the same page? Wewe ukitoka nyumbani kupanda ndege na pesa ya huyo mtu ulipanda kama nani kwake? Anyway, we want to hear the other side of the story
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Reminds of another story of a woman who gave his husband some drugs to finish off his libido so that she could divorce him on grounds of lack of conjugal rights. She wanted to marry a younger man. In conclusion, y'all be safe
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Funny thing,next Monday si mbali and I'm 100% sure these people haven't checked with the met department to know how long these rains are going to last
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This is why the government gets away with so much because you people will start pitting yourselves against each other. The politicians know y'all too well because when and how did this become about engineers and architects?
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Andika kwa Notes app. Huku we want to be all up in your business.
Kuna faa kuwa na option ya kuweka Twitter 'Private.'
As in, naeza tweet, nione tweet Kwa profile yangu, lakini nyinyi hamuwezi ona.
Una get?
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I know foreplay when I see it
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Yesterday I watched a Tiktok in which the UN workers in Haiti were molesting kids as young as 12 and couldn't be charged because they had immunity. So the most that could be done was sending them back to their mother countries
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I swear I'd be in a random hardware in Mandera for the first time and still say something like 'last time nilinunua rangi ulisema utanipea discount sasa nimerudi. Na hukuniuzia na hii bei ata'😂
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Minorities advocating for discrimination of other minorities will never not be funny to me
Nimeskia chants of 'Allah Wakbar' nje ya ofisi I thought we are under attack😂😂turns out it's anti LGBTQ protests by muslims 😂😂
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So guys, sometimes my hormones are so ruthless that I become very suicidal a fortnight or less towards my periods. I also dissociate from people around the same time because I become overwhelmingly sensitive and my emotions are out of control. It's almost like going crazy fr.
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Porridge doesn't change consistency when a spoon is left to sit in it for a while. It does so because of amylase which is an enzyme that breaks down starch and in the mouth and is present in saliva, as a result of 'cross contamination' from mouth to spoon to porridge.
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Inakaa ile poster ya psmoja tuambukize malaria
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Kidogo kidogo mtakuja mseme sijui those women without kids have aborted 1765 times so you'd rather marry a single mom because they kept their kid(s) . Like we're not familiar with your game.😂 Anyway, sahii kunanyesha mchukue udongo mfinyange your perfect women.
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1. Mstahiki Meya. Everything is facts but the most amazing thing is the eggs. The damn eggs are such a sell out
2. Betrayal in the City. Only that we're in the middle. Into the thick of it.
3. Damu Nyeusi. Y'all remember that kikaza story? Tell me we ain't going through it..
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Huwezi sema juzi alikuwa anapigana na China square because they were spoiling business for the locals😂
Trade CS Kuria authorises importation of bar soaps
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Don't know if you saw it but the men have completely refused to pick you😭😭😭
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That's why huwa nawaonjesha and then proceed to have a fulfilling friendship. Works all the time
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Having fuck you money
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I stumbled upon this on Quora yesterday and I had no words.
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What do you mean hujui kupika biryani? What will your wife eat after a long day at work?
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Naona mmeamua kulewa on a budget in Nabii's economy, mnataka kunywa codeine. Mine is just to remind you that NHIF doesn't have enough funds. Ni hayo Tu kwa sasa
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Chimano's low notes>>>>
Chimano's drip>>>
Chimano's energy>>>>
Chimano's entire existence>>>>>>>>>
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Leo hata ndio nimesoma huku ati oral sex ni kink. Kwani naishi wapi😭
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We used to sing ... Nashindwa Jo nizame wapi, nyundo ya gu sasa itauwa wapi shortly after jamming to Lil Wayne's lollipop. The kids are gonna be alright .
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I'm sure huyo dame anashangaa mbona unafanya press release every three minutes. 😂
Just to set the record straight. Kairo is a very single gentleman at the moment and we are good friends with
@evenmaina
. We don’t have any sexual relations for that matter and our interactions are mostly limited to God, conspirancy theories and our shared love for business.
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Cheating is the glue that holds relationships together especially for us women. For our relationships to survive, we must cheat. And it has absolutely nothing to do with the love we have for our partners. It's barely personal
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Same. Alafu wanidishi baadae.🤌🏾
One thing I miss about having a person, is seeing them eat a meal I prepared.
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When I was in JKUAT, we demo'd because of insecurity and then people on this app said we were idle kids who deserved police brutality, I look at y'all sideways. Imagine the state had enough police to teargas us but not enough for patrols. JKUAT is 200m from the police station.
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Nothing to do with the sun? I feel robbed
Genge singer Jua Cali's name originated from his ambition to represent his hood, California. 'Jua Cali' loosely translates to 'Know Cali'
#PulseEntertainment
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I did not go to Law school for 5 years for me to offer unpaid legal services under the guise of 'quick one wakili'.
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Tihihi. Mimi naisha😂😂😂😂
Ogopeni intimacy with your sneak. If posibo after the appointment, shower,vaa nguo then go home. Do not sleepover or even lay on their chest otherwise, you'll be spending your week fighting and convincing yourself that whatever you are feeling is not love but stupidity!
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Ata sijui the exact context but I high key relate.
Gosh just realising my very bukusu nose will betray me bigly 😩😩😩😩 my ancestors really stupid for this
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What's so hard about telling someone to leave your house? I obviously expect more from a gender that runs on logic as opposed to emotions and has innate leadership skills
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Mko na roho chafu to think other people don't deserve good things just because you don't find them attractive by your own standards
Seeing uglyy people in relationships being given princess treatment is so confusing,, like so it's not even about attractiveness .
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0600- send good morning text.
08:15 - call to check of they got to work well
13:30- call to check if they've eaten and see if they addressed issues from the day before
20:00- call to see if they got home well, had dinner and unpack the day. Tussle over who should hang up.😂
When you get into a relationship, what’s the daily routine like?
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Please write it as wings to fly next time, coz wtf was that?😆
Mwangi built an army as we watched. Equity wtf graduates are in every sector in this country and have a footprint just about everywhere and in everything you can think of. Equity's influence is going to be major.
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2k. Halafu 47500 ni allowance ya Ben 10 then 500 ni ya velo
Kama na earn around 50k naeza ishi nyumba ya how much
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Being apolitical doesn't cushion you from the tragedies that result from decisions made by the ruling class.
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I stand to be corrected but average kienyeji chicken meat isn't usually as tough as you guys put it. Most Nairobians are sold an ex layer that has seen 5 Christmas seasons under the guise of kienyeji. Chicken meat is mostly tough because of age. Not breed.
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Job security and health insurance
What’s the science behind our parents generation pushing state/govt jobs down our throats?
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Everyone suggesting that she should pay a few coins and have it in a week and then come crying here that politicians are corrupt but you're also the people enabling and being active participants in this corruption thing. The corruption in this country is deliberate and systemic.
Today marks 4 months since I queued for biometrics at
@ImmigrationDept
Happy monthversary to us babe. Can’t wait to give birth to our passport (whenever that will be) 💀💀
Please wish us a happy monthversary 🤡
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'The men in Bridgerton are written by women and that's why we love them so much because they exist in our imagination.' I didn't cough enough blood😂
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We might have the worst conflict resolution systems because she'd have just told him that next time he visit, he should consider carrying something with him. Because it feels nice when a visitor does that. A little grace (and communication) goes a long way.
When you visit somebody you should always go with something - even if it is milk & bread. It doesn't matter who the person is - family, a friend or a potential partner. Some of you were not raised well & it shows. She was right. It is not her place to teach somebody these things.
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Anything can be a good first date as long as you vibe. Mengine ni siasa 🫣
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Hata ungemalizia hapo kwa incompetent it would still be true
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