Palmwine Papi
@spicedliver
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4,334
Following
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Statuses
167,599
Believe in your sauce.
Between Two Buns 😏
Joined August 2015
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Send us removal request.
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Pinned Tweet
They ask this while lifting their butt a little. Lmaoo.
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Someone said women trade like the British during colonialism. Lmaoo
I just want a man I can cook for and kiss kiss and dress up with and loves and buys me everything cause I’m addicted to shopping 🥹🕯️
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Holding everything except holding themselves accountable. You hate to see it.
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Hii mnaelewa, but mkifanya mtu asafiri kutoka Rongai to Juja, hamuelewi vile that journey could affect his performance? Wow.
Omanyala akifika Oregon atakuwa amechoka kabisaa. It might affect his performance.
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That hot towel trick stays undeafeated. Haha. Unarudishanga mwiko kwa sufuria like nothing happened.
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Kalenjin Athletes huninice. They run the international races, retire and go live in Eldoret ama na huko Rift Valley bila kusumbua watu. Top lads and ladies.
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Tukisema cooking ikuwe kwa default settings, suddenly it is a life skill 😭😭😭
There’s always a ka weirdness seeing a man in a driving school car. I feel like some skills should be pre-installed in men? 😂
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You have a job and that is nice, but I believe you still have an opening I can fill.
Hey.
Having a job is cool, But everyday?How is it not weekend yet😞
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Me, when my girl is paying for the monthly shopping and I picked 3L of Fresh Fry:
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That odour women have when they are ovulating. 💀💀💀
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A time like this last year, I was broke, and depressed. This year, I'm showing up home with gifts for the parents. 💪
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Unaenda unaopen up kumbe msee anatafuta content ya podcast😂😂.
"Today we discus why men can't talk to their fathers." 😂😂smh.
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Both you and your friend are not that interesting. Resist the urge to start a podcast in 2024👍.
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I'd still go hard for someone I like. Lol. Sio lazima we end up married, but kujikazia kujibamba ju ya "usionyeshe mtu unampenda else atakuumiza" sounds like a terrible way to live life.
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This could either be Kairo or Ruto.
Mans anatravel all over the world but still finds time to be at the centre of every Twitter topic of discussion.
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We are there.
KRA misses its revenue collection target by Sh79b in the first quarter of 2023, Commissioner General Humphrey Wattanga tells National Assembly Finance Committee
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Mtu wako akikuambia 'I am so proud of you,' unaeza jipata umetia bidii zaidi. One of those non-sexual things that make you feel nice.
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Wasichana ni warembo huku nje. Na wako na pesa na matako.
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Tuambiane ukweli. Hii serikali haijali watu. This is a new low, really.
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Jana niko butcher nanunua meat for the week, mguys flani akaingia akaitisha kilo. Butcher akienda kuikatakata into small pieces, mans karibu aruke counter. 😂 Akasema hiyo ni kazi ya bibi, butcher asiingilie. 😂😂
Nilikuwa naisha tu hapo 😂😂😂
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No manifesto, no agenda, just an I'll fitting suit and some vibes.
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Two years later, we finally find out what the honey was used for. The internet!!!!
Did anyone find out what the honey was for in this picture?
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Dem anataka uangushe Champions League finals kind of performance na amekupea chevda 😂😂😂😂.
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I would have let her finish first. But that's just me.
Senator Hezena Lemaletian finishes 3rd in the women's 1500m race during the EAC Inter-Parliamentary games in Kigali, Rwanda
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I won't lie, I got to a point and asked myself why I never put myself first. Why not take myself out to eat, or get nice perfumes, or travel? That was the turning point. I am THE constant in my life, and good things should start with me.
Most men ufika tu stage flani wanaacha kukuwa manhoe na sii eti juu they become a better man, no! Ni eti these beeches are not worthy of the chase. Wako na standards za kipuzi. Energy ya kuwa na wawili utatoa wapi?
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Ju wako na magari? Lmaoo. Y'all niggas need to believe in your sauce.
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Anyways boys, 2024, hio pesa wamama wanasema ni kidogo, tutumie kujifurahisha. Kuna activities kibao mnaeza kufanya with a few pals.
Paintball huwa fun ajab, ama go-kart.
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After watu waseme a date is basically convincing someone to come spend your money, nilianza kuview such exploits differently. Hahah.
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Kile hamuambiwi in that 'Running errands is my favorite kind of date' ni gari inatakikana for such kind of activities. Lmaoo. Huezi pull hii move kama unatumia Rembo Shuttle.
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Doing things for the kids when its really for yourself>>>>
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Bruh, they are pleased to inform me that my application was successful.
Bruh... 😭😭😭😭
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Yes. Iko hapo opposite the bed. Saa ya mechi unamgeuza ajione ndo afikirie the life decisions that have led her to that point.
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Dem amekumark but wewe ndo unafaa ubebe conversation. Hahahaha.
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If you aren't okay dating someone with a kid, that's fine, nyamazia tu na utafute wenye hawana. Nairobi has like 500k+ women who would meet that criteria.
Dropping a thread on 10 women is wild.
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Unapatana na dem amezoea kudate hao scammers, kijana wa 9-5 unapigwa na pressure ajab. Haha.
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His solution for unemployment is to offer seasonal jobs.
Not manufacturing, not RnD, not finance, not hospitality. But somehow that will make Kenya the next Singapore.
President Ruto: Tutajenga nyumba 200,000 kila mwaka ndio tupate ajira ya vijana milioni moja kila mwaka
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Relationships are 50/50. She sends me videos of the dress she's wearing, I have flowers matching the dress delivered to her office>>>>
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I don't get how this is an issue. Mtu anielezee
We’re both in Kenya why would you call me using WhatsApp Audio
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Parliament ilishindwa kuverify hiyo Masters, yet online, watu wametuma one email and got all the information they needed? Hahaha. We are a circus.
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Ukienda Kamkunji on a Saturday, you are likely to see at least 7 women with such a physique.
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Hiyo trick ya kueka pombe into brand bottles huweza hawa madem ajab. 😂
Dem anakunywa Captain from a Hennessy bottle, unaskia akisema "Na ni smooth" 😂😂
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The average 25 year old guy could only dream of living the life a 25 year old chic has lived. Lol
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There's only two proper ways to send "Thank you" pics after he pays for nails.
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Avoid Nairobi women on a Saturday. They will get you drunk and then take you home in their red Mazdas.
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Estate agents are saying landlords don't want any Nigerians.
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The short ones, with foreheads and some curves? They are in Nairobi, Kenya cos playing as Kikuyu women, come get them.
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Unamuacha aoge, halafu unamshoo 'Come nikushoo kitu' Hahahahaha
"Unataka tena ama nioge" remains to be one of the highest displays of intimacy hehe
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Why do petite women have an ass when they take off their clothes? What's up with that??
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"Ladies and gentlemen, the Moi era is back."
- A 20 year old.
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I got the job 🥹🥹
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1. She is older than him, he is 23, she is 30+
2. She brought 2 kids to the relationship
3. He is working and studying to support her and her kids.
4. She stays home and wants to be taken care of.
Better men do exist, fr. He is proof.
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Hard earned money hata kulipa rent unaskia ni kama umekatwa mkono, sembuse kupeana tu bure for some "Awwwws" na "My man, my man" tweets.
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Lol.
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But women do have such insecurities. Lol. I was dating this chic a while back and I'd just find jioni nateteshwa bure, shida eti ni shule niko iko na wasichana warembo and I might find someone better than her (I did but that's besides the point).
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Older generations hushindwa niaje unashinda ukichange jobs 😂.
Loyalty is to my bank account, tbh.
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When she updates you about the small things during her day>>>>
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A support system is very important.
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You send money, you are considered low self esteem. You don't send money, you are broke.
Tough.
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The worst woman you know has taken a screenshot of this to later post on her stories.
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Mtu akiniita 'mpermanent' or 'mpoa', namuacha. That is enough grounds for a break up.
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I am a grown man and even when I'm home, I have to inform my parents when I'm leaving.
Mnasema that is a toxic household? Come on.
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Kuna alternative careers in law, other than just practice. Young lawyers msimabiwe ati market imejaa 😂😂.
Maybe I'll do a thread on areas that one can pursue because hizi story tuliskia since 2000s 😂
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@_Wangecilinet_
Good employers apply the best practice of keeping CVs in case the opening needs filling in future.
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Mumeanza kuosha. Hahahaha. Hii block tuko ndani for a very long time.
'The most improved student in this Government...'
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This Xmas period is oddly dramaless compared to previous years on the TL. Saa hii tungekuwa tumeambiwa ni nani hakulipia pombe na mwenye alikuwa analala na machali za watu. I call that growth.
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I realised, women make the dudes they hate jump through all these hoops. I've had women pay for my tickets, pick me up at the SGR, and cooked for me on the first meet. It really is about going for the women that actually like you.
Imefika mahali I really want to hear from the ladies, what's your ideal date for you girlies? Places to go and not to go ni zipi and do y'all have a budget in mind?
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Huwa naona missed calls, nasema nitarudisha and then 5 days go by and I don't see the need to because what would I say? 💀💀
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"Ukiobey, provision itakuja naturally"
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Creating oligarchs. The people who are buying these are already known and the law firm that will hand the transactions, iko hapo Waiyaki Way. Hahaha
NEWS JUST IN: Govt to Sell KICC, Kenya Pipeline & 9 Other Corporations
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Ukipata pesa, hizi rules zote wamama hukuwa nazo about sijui "I can't date a younger guy" sijui "you should be tall" hutupwa out of the window together with the underwear, mkicruise the city in your car 😂😂😂
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This was me. Nilikuwa shocked ati boys hutuma pesa ndo dem aget ready for a date 😂😂. I knew I would never match that.
Mwanaume ukirudi dating scene after 5 years of a relationship inabidi you just marry your female close friend.
The market will shock you mamen. 😂
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Events za Nairobi huwa kama functions za High School. People attend them because other people are attending them. Hahaha.
Huendi Naivasha, Huendi Folk Fusion, Hauna fom, Hupati cuddles. wewe uko tu 💀😂
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Huyo boys atajikaranga one day. Hahaha.
I always say, you let people talk for long enough and they will tell you everything you need to know.
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I adore women, but I refuse to partake in these extortion rings y'all are running in the name of dating and relationships 😂😂😂😂.
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"Kuna Dawa"
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Wajesus walitumia birth ya mtoto wao kumarket a hospital? Do people have boundaries anymore?
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Saa hizo yeye ameweka savings, zengine ameweka kwa sacco, na pesa za girls' trip ametupa kwa MMF. Hahaha.
Anakuacha halafu anapost "When you move on from the anchor that was weighing you down" 😂😂
Shawty anakuja into your life, changes your lifestyle on your bills, makes you live beyond your means, forces you to do what she wants, then loses interest in you cause you don't appeal to her anymore. Leaves you with a dent on your finances😂😂
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Aende home tuchague mtu anajua kile anafanya.
Sasa mkipinga kila kitu Ruto anapropose, mnataka afanye nini?
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Madem hujaribu kuoneysha how scam the dude was, whole time wanajiexpose. Lol.
This dude really had you on tap water and weed, and you went there thrice?? No Judy, let's talk about your decision making.
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View people the way you view experiences. When you visit a game park, you know at the end of the day, you have to go back home. Same thing with people, experience them, make your memories, and when it's over, wish them the best.
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Then y'all come on here with that "Millennials and Gen Z are not serious, they'll quit for no reason" when the whole time these the kind of people you are supposed to work with. Yuck.
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Birthday hucome around and I get a bit depressed because I am not where I thought I would be.
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"A friend" - Random man
"My friend" - A woman
"They/Them" - Focus on yourself, brother.
when she's telling you specific story about her night out & all of a sudden everybody non-binary
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Funny thing is, dude has a stable income and is operating with a budget. I see a responsible man with an irresponsible woman.
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This new breed of kiuk babes has bunda for days.
When did they unleash this new bale?
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I remember 1,000 women paid 1K each to be added to a WhatsApp group for Intermittent fasting and menus that would help them loose weight, then the Admins would share recipes from Pinterest. 😂😂😂😂😂.
They really do be fleecing people out here 😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂 hii Nairobi mko na biz ya kila kitu, clearly poverty is the enemy 😂😂😂
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Mi huadvocate against committed relationships in your early 20s. It's unnecessary.
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How can I phrase "I am not here to do your job" in corporate speak?
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Dear Lord,
Keep that "kuoga na kurudi soko" squad away from me.
Amen.
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