Napoleon
@moanaparte
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Bridgerton
• 464092 Tweets
Flamengo
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Rodolfo
• 61850 Tweets
#อาโป555กลับมาซ่าเร็วเร็ว
• 56779 Tweets
WELCOME BACK GBA APO
• 54900 Tweets
#يوم_الترويه
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Cruzeiro
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Oilers
• 29398 Tweets
Edmonton
• 26285 Tweets
O Vasco
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Luiz Araújo
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Bahia
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Maracanã
• 20924 Tweets
FURIA LOS SACA DE A UNO
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Abel
• 17867 Tweets
Wesley
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#BANGCHANxMilanFashionWeek
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Renato
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Rony
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Luciano
• 13417 Tweets
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Dudu
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Estevão
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Call me old fashioned or a bigot or whatever, but I reckon any man who 'feeds' a baby his disgusting moob dribblings should be given a fucking good hiding and then slung in a rat-infested dungeon for the rest of his life.
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Just started work on my new novel 'Lesbian Nana: Crime Fighter'.
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@francesweetman
I was in Paris a few years ago and walked past a drunk man lying on a park bench with his willy out. At the time, I assumed he was just a drunk man lying on a park bench with his willy out, but now I wonder if he was an expert on paediatric healthcare.
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I'm sure all the employees of John Lewis and Waitrose whose lives aren’t centred around pornography and masturbation are absolutely delighted with how everything’s going at the moment.
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Not impressed that Rishi Sunak's father was a GP, nor am I impressed that Keir Starmer's father was a toolmaker. I think it's high time we had a PM whose father was an international playboy with a luxurious moustache and a groovy girlfriend called Bouncy St. Melons.
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@JayMackComedian
Taking the wife out to see the latest Ken Loach fillum next month followed by a Billy Bragg concert because I don't really like her.
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@NoContextBrits
I dressed exactly like this when I lived under a motorway flyover drinking paint thinner all day.
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Just asked AI to create an image of the greatest cyclist in the history of women's cycling.
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@OldRoberts953
"How's work, Derek?"
"Management had us frotting this morning, Roy. Nobody was keen, but you don't want to make a fuss."
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@JeanRuane
The missus and I go in a couple of their pubs. Won't be doing that again. Thanks for the warning.
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@jenivescomedian
If you think that's deranged, just wait until you hear about the blokes who think they're women.
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I call this portrait 'I Am Woman, Hear Me Clamp My Dribbly Nipples'.
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@Temperance_Brew
@twitwacivist
@lascapigliata8
@BraddockBessie
@CrossStChapel
@SheffLibraries
“Jimmy's just here to talk about his charity work and television and radio career. If he starts dragging kids into his caravan, we'll end the event and ask him to leave.”
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@OldRoberts953
The vast majority of us will never need to publicly state we're going to stop calling men women because we never went mad in the first place.
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@BritLGBTAwards
"And the award for the photograph of the largest set of girl testicles taken in the ladies toilets goes to ..."
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When faced with a problem, I always ask myself what Oliver Reed would do. This explains why I'm currently staggering around a field in my underpants at 9:24 in the morning after drinking two bottles of Lamb's Navy Rum.
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@BurnsideNotTosh
Can't believe blokes up and down the land don't want to watch reports about transvestite referees and what Lincoln City are doing to tackle climate change. Who knew?
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@OldRoberts953
Yep. I watched Tricki Woo being fed strips of fillet steak by Mrs. Pumphrey on All Creatures Great and Small the other week and before I knew it I'd annexed Austria.
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@Paul40655594
@kinjones29
@SVPhillimore
@blandCinema
Gaming, anime, Lego, he/him. Yep. All the usual shit.
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@simonjedge
I doubt the book would have been mentioned in the Mail today had a bunch of adult babies not had a hissy fit over it, so congratulations to them and I hope they keep up the good work.
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This is a blow for advocates of the abusing kids industry.
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@IMissHitchSlaps
Just asked the missus about this agreement and she said nobody asked her about it. She also swore quite a lot.
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@SheaChristie3
Blah blah blah. Putting a bra on and being addicted to wanking doesn't make you a woman, mate.
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If you had no idea what any of this shit means, you could be confused into thinking Britain had been annexed by the Care Bears.
If I were homosexual I would find this incredibly embarrassing.
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@berk_hamstead
@BBCNews
BBC Verify are never around to check nonsense like this. Another example was that murdered boy being referred to as a 'schoolgirl' on national television by people who have the nerve to call themselves journalists.
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@CrunchAlias
What a wholesome image to now have in my head on this sunny Sunday afternoon. Thanks!
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@nigel_callaghan
@our_jess
Do you think they sift through the electricity that's delivered to the National Grid, isolate the green stuff and direct it to your house?
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Congratulations to Susan Rottweiler on her appointment as the England netball team's first ever femaleish manager. Here she is in the changing rooms, celebrating both a stunning victory over the Netherlands, and the fact that they're all going to be getting their tops off soon.
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@UglaStefania
You're a bloke in knickers. As we've all been forced to find out recently, this is a lot more common than it used to be, but still not in the least bit interesting.
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@LeAdderNoire
@MichelleDewbs
‘Absolutely packed'. Yeah, it's like sardines in there. TRAITORS!
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I see shampoo is trending on here. My favourite shampoo is the shampoo my wife buys for me for a pound to stop me using her expensive shampoo.
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@varindeus
Just told the missus that her periods are a figment of her imagination and she gave me a look that could cut a giant redwood in half.
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@SVPhillimore
This changes everything now that the American fish prison has entered the debate.
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@OldRoberts953
I keep forgetting the new rules. I laughed at one the other day as he lurched past looking like a corpse that had been caught up in an explosion in the women's section of an early 1990s charity shop. I realised afterwards that I'm supposed to take those ones seriously.
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I wouldn’t mind ruining my life and reputation as much as she has.
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Another large retailer with an inexplicable death wish should take a leaf out of John Lewis's book and publish a magazine featuring some of their employees who really like pushing large objects up their own arseholes.
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@billybragg
@TheVikingDane
@Shelleybe3
Come again? What benefits do children get from having atrophied testicles, Billy?
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The fake Capri advert I see cropping up on a regular basis took me about half a minute to make. The fake pack of Top Trumps - taking the piss out of the UK nostalgia industry's weird love affair with discoloured dog dirt - took me bloody ages and has been shared by NOBODY.
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@BettsCaro
@LibDems
I'm willing to put money on that statement not being up on that site this time next month.
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Just started work on my new book, 'The Marvellous Misgendering Misadventures of the Police Scotland Hate Monster'.
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@Lordflashh3art
Hobbies and interests: Sweets, puppies, collecting Jim'll Fix It memorabilia.
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@varindeus
Didn't realise I was witnessing so many moments of the year back in the day when the lads from the local rugby club used to dress up in women's clothes and get their cocks out in the pub.
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@DuncanHenry78
@AskNationwide
It's a radical idea, but why not celebrate Pride Month™ by having an ordinary-looking bloke who just happens to be gay taking out a mortgage in a non-flamboyant fashion instead of the Fabulous Fran E. Batter's Flying Dragsexual Circus for once?
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@rainbowgreens
@terfasaurus
@scottishgreens
“What do you mean we're not allowed to abuse kids any more? A meeting! We demand a meeting! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!”
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Still annoyed that Sam Smith turned down my design for an outfit seeing as he'll apparently wear any old ridiculous shit.
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@EddieIzzardLab
You also dress up like Shirley from EastEnders and scratch your testicles in the queue for the ladies toilets. You might well be the most versatile manwoman on the planet.
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@LeoKearse
Hmm. I would be a bit worried about not getting my privilege back after the show due to a cloakroom mix up.
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@ThirdCity2
@jojo731976
@Glinner
One shot we get at life, and this is what you choose to do with it.
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Just eaten a chicken sandwich that had a higher IQ than Billy Bragg.
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“Only fifteen percent of people working in construction are female. Why is that?” asked the lady on the news. My guess is because most women don't want to work on building sites. Controversial, perhaps, but I'm struggling to think of an alternative explanation.
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@ChemBioJonny
"Jump off that cliff, Jonny. You can trust me, I'm an expert."
"Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
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And if they repeal it, we'll send the ghost of Field Marshal Robert Napier in to give the native scoundrels six of the best. Sun never sets, what what.
#RuleBritannia
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"Now then, now then, guys 'n' gals, 'ere I am moving my lovely, lovely charry-teh to TikTok, do you see? 'Ow's about that then? Eeeeeurgh eeeeeurgh eeeurgh!"
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If a tiny percentage of the Western World that just so happens to unfortunately be in charge of absolutely everything hadn't lost its marbles a few years ago, this ridiculous bollocks would never have got anywhere near a court of law. Woman, my fucking ARSE.
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@francesweetman
It's obviously a huge surprise that people who think men turn into women when they put a pair of knickers on are also a little hazy on the Holocaust.
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@Lordflashh3art
@daraobriain
They've all seen what happens when someone who isn't Ricky Gervais makes the mistake of telling the truth these days, so it's no surprise he won't answer. But fuck me. What a ridiculous thing for comedians of all people to be scared to talk about, eh?
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I don't know why so many people are having a go at this bloke. £8.05 for that little lot IS a ridiculous amount of money, regardless of the fact there's branded stuff in there. Everybody in the country would have said the same four years ago.
£8.05 for this. How the actual f*&k are people getting by??
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@ShayandBlue
@Mermaids_Gender
You might as well switch off the comments now. You're going to do it eventually anyway.
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@Lordflashh3art
I haven’t got up or sat down without going “HYNAAAAAAGH!” since Gordon Brown was Prime Minister.
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I've been a Tesco meal deal sandwich designer for fifteen years now. When I look back on all the sandwiches I've designed, my favourite is the classic ham and egg. Very proud of this one,
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@SelfKaz
@BathLabour
@BathUniLGBTplus
Good luck, son. If you don’t manage to become an MP, you can always console yourself by taking a photo of your penis and testicles in the ladies bogs.
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If I was that Willoughby character, I would have stopped before I became a figure of not just national, but international ridicule.
Actually, no I wouldn’t, would I? Because I would be India Willoughby, and therefore have the least amount of self-awareness in the universe.
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@DerbyChrisW
@DPJHodges
Chris Williamson is my favourite ghastly old rancid racist fucking bastard former Labour MP.
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@francesweetman
It would be easier to stomach this level of self-indulgence if these weren't some of the most uninteresting people on the planet.
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@Lordflashh3art
I was born in the '70s and think you should do whatever the fuck you like as long as it's legal. And I'll even toss a few illegal things in there because what's wrong with a lovely bit of heroin every now and again, eh? Mmm, lovely lovely illegal heroin.
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@simonjedge
@rickygervais
Now I'm no expert, but it looks to me like things are going quite well for him.
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@daz40004326
Always nice to read the confused ramblings of someone who's recovering from a serious head injury.
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A very unhappy Nonce Visibility Day to all the dirty old pervs in knickers who reckon they should be allowed to get their balls out in front of little girls for sexual gratification reasons.
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@TheFamousArtBR
It's quite easy to tell women and menwomen apart. Women are women and menwomen are great big clodopping carthorses squeezed badly into clothing they've seen in the bazillion hours of mucky fillums they've wanked over in their filthy bedrooms at their mams' houses.
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Here's a magnificent pride of Brians to cheer you up on a Monday morning.
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@osaetervik
@mjeslfc
@wonder000
Oh look. It's a fella dismissing women's concerns. Well that's a bloody novelty.
Jog on, son.
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Northumbria Police wants to know what your problem is with a couple of fellas wearing bras, like.
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@JamesEsses
@JohnLewisRetail
What can a person who flogs washing machines in John Lewis learn from a woman who doesn’t think she is a woman, but instead believes herself to be 'non-binary'? Other than 'I've learned this person needs an urgent psychiatric intervention', I'm struggling to think of anything.
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@MuskIsAManBaby
@banthetroons
@TheFamousArtBR
If the cure for a life threatening medical condition is prancing around in a pair of knickers and pissing in the ladies bogs, it ain't a life threatening medical condition.
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Upperthorpe is a ten minute walk from my house. I've got my fingers crossed that these two chumps knock on my door in the coming days.
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@EddieIzzardLab
Sorry to hear your complicated masturbation fantasy didn’t go down as well as you'd presumed it would, Ed. Better luck next time. I hear the people of Blackpool love a fella in big rubber knockers, especially when everyone's had a few, so you should give that place a go next.
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@roseveniceallan
Try to restrict yourself to eight cans of Diamond White a night to keep the weekend's binge drinking special.
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@OldRoberts953
I drew a picture of the one who looks like he lives in a skip sucking lighter fluid out of a pair of dirty underpants all day long. Quite pleased with this.
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@ilovepreserves
I've never met or heard of a woman who has to pass as a woman. Makes me suspect there's something unwomany about this new type of woman.
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