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@emilyreadey
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friend, lover, minimalist web designer
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@RozayJanae
No especially when they’re not your manager and they start assigning you homework all the time for no reason you assign them homework back
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@dee_bluehead
Fucking exactly and everyone is like “oh can’t wait to have kids” “why wouldn’t u wanna have a kid” “it’s not that hard” hellloooooooo it is a LIFE in ur hands
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@jessicakiang
Also why is the tortured poets department title in a different font if one theoretically typed this on the typewriter
AND not the brown stains being the exact same shape on each page
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@Duderichy
theory is it goes deeper in the us (hint hint) from what ive heard fentanyl in coke and stuff is just not a thing in europe
obv shit is cut everywhere…….meth baking soda whatever but fentanyl seems like a uniquely us phenomenon
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@dee_bluehead
AND I think ppl don’t think about or realize it bc kids will by nature idealize forgive and suppress anything bad . So ppl are like “can’t wait to have my number 1 fan ❤️”. And they treat children like a toy or little project
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@bigfatmoosepssy
dude I seriously thought the other mother was the good guy and the movie was about them finding each other
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@Duderichy
from a free market perspective it makes no sense for a dealer to want a reputation for accidentally killing people
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@coldhealing
omg no i went from restauranting to a min wage job at a wework doing word docs and I just fell in love with sitting on my ass with a laptop drinking coffee
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@anonynaut
Unfortunately with stuff like coding and product design it kinda has to be especially at the beginning for you to be good enough to do it full time and provide value
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@naomirwolf
my mom has a phd in calculus and the only things she’s said about it is “lol! So easy! What a joke” and “i forget what my dissertation was on. Something about statistics?”
as a kid i asked if she was a dr. and she said “don’t be stupid”
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I’m sorry I’m so antiproteinpilled like are you serious people are saying you need to eat the protein equivalent of 4 fillets of salmon every day or some shit
No offense if cavemen weren’t doing that there’s no reason you need to eat 500 grams of manufactured soyslop
How do ppl struggle getting enough protein when there’s fairlife milks
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@zeta_globin
So true like 1. Love learning for learnings sake and 2. Don’t give a shit about tests from the man and 3. Be smart enough to know you’ll succeed anyway
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I’m so embarrassed of having a blue check mark I need to cancel this shit i can’t tell if it’s showing my amazing tweets to like 1 more person or what
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Wishing i just got into the self storage business when i was 12 like a smart person
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When ur homie tries to get u into the bar
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today my teammate built a cool prototype w some of my little boxes. I like little boxes. I’m a simple person
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Announcement I am officially moving to barcelona from seattle on a lil student visa for Spanish school in one month and now im nervoussssssss djdkxdksj
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I am so completely all for the fight against climate change but i feel like environmental policy just attracts so much of a certain type of moralizing but inefficient person
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Clouds are for real hella goated when seeing just a few rays of sunshine is the vibe
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I saw this girls portfolio that was like “I believe typography has the power to create functional visual experiences”
aka “I believe words have the power to be read” which is like love it but that is not exactly a super uncommon belief
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how I dress on the 3 days where I don’t fear and avoid going outdoors
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Hearing stuff like chipotle and sweet green get referred to as “slopbowls” has completely changed my opinion and mindset
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Thanks to me there will soon be yet another place on the internet where you can buy bitcoin. You’re welcome humanity
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schrodinger's text is when you send a text but you haven’t checked your phone to see if they respond
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today for work I made icons. They were like good job emily these are good icons. I said thank u
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Just updated my website. I know what you are thinking. Emily how are you so beautiful and also so accomplished? It’s actually not easy but I make it work.
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Crazy that after sourcing and collecting items for my dream apartment I am now Planning to give all this shit up
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People that genuinely unironically like cruises are so cute and sweet
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So it turns out throwing half your belongings away every few months is a symptom of borderline personality disorder. ……… i thought i was just being a minimalist….
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I am having a great time with my little workers. I thought because we all work remote that everyone would be weird (I am weird) it turns out im the only one that’s weird. Surprise!
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first base is eye contact. second base is i love you. Third base is melancholy
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hello I have decided to start posting my work like a little grubby attention grubber grubbing for attention. So here is a work
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@BenRatkaj
It’s not just possible apparently it’s overwhelmingly likely huberman said we evolve for successful outcomes not for accuracy in understanding reality
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Website animations are like a brazilian butt lift. Done very tastefully it’s like wow…that’s gorgeous. I’ve never seen anything like it
But any amount over that and it is a fucking calamity
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Here is a helpful tip NEVER travel to Mexico if u forgot ur pin on ur debit card and can’t withdraw cash
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Nothing makes me feel more patriotic than at customs when they’re like “Americans this way!”
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I hate when I put my phone away to do focused work and still nobody texts me when I check it again :(
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I never look better than during an unanswered facetime call. Why is this
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I get really prickly when people make deprecating jokes about me. Like do not include me in ur negative speech ❌❌❌
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More proof that my best self only comes out in an unanswered facetime call
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My mom got me a super cute fake balenciaga la cajole bag from the beijing black market and people are not as excited for me as i expected. I suspect they are jealous of my families proximity to great deals. Is this nepotism?
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@PrncplParvenu
@RozayJanae
I say in order for me to do this I need you to do this first! And then whenever they ask about my homework I remind them I needed theirs
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Life is so hard for me. For example, I occasionally have to do things I don’t want to do
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ur early 20s are about deciding if you want something as a tattoo or as a neon sign
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selfie and on repeat
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Why is it that the only guy I’ve dated that broke up with me is also the only one that went to therapy
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@Atlanticesque
Imagine going to / paying for law school and making less than u would as a server / bartender ouch that is rough
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I don’t like a guy that has hobbies. Like you should only be focused on me
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Say it with me. I’m rich I’m blonde and my coke is from Cuba. Your tan comes straight from the bottle bitch mine comes straight from Aruba.
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the reason i know everyone is just pretending to know stuff is that until just now i thought solana blockchain was founded by some guy named "mike solana"
and i've referenced mike solana many times in conversations and NOBODY has called me on it
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@coldhealing
getting these frequently was so embarrassing it literally drove me to stop using TikTok
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I love how my upstairs neighbor runs an at home steel mill and my next door neighbor runs a violent indoor mma fighting ring
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so true bestie
I want only to lay my face in your lap, feel your hand on my head and remain like that through all eternity.
Franz Kafka, 1920.
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I wish u could take ur Spotify playlist and just snap a finger and it would be normal for when ur friends listen to it
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Currently in the best restaurant in guatamala wearing head to toe shien
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I love small talk and deep talk but I hate middle talk. Like I can talk about a cloud or my deepest fears for 5 hours but I can’t talk about what im doing this weekend
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to go on a date with me u first have to be willing to die for me. Thanks (no further questions at this time)
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No offense regarding the stock market but I don’t get how it’s like “the only correct thing to do is invest in the stock market bc it’s 100% guaranteed historically it will only go up in your lifetime.”
Yo this shit has only been around for 100 years
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