cold π₯
@coldhealing
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TikTok anthropologist, midwesterner in exile, feminist, loneliness epidemic superspreader, dark statistician
New York, NY βοΈ Peoria, IL
Joined March 2017
Hispanic man next to me on the train to Bushwick is watching YouTube Shorts while his small daughter is drifting in and out of sleep leaning against him
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Some nights, when exiting my office on the 44th floor of the Vanderbilt Tower after a long day thinking abstractly about the economy, I walk a few blocks to Times Square to brush shoulders with the unwashed masses and make sure my ideas hold up in the real world.
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People in San Francisco will make a video of a slow cooker with a little handle that stirs the food and call this a "fully automated smart chef". They must be stopped
Introducing Replicator Fully automated smart private chef no more hustle cooking. no more overspending on food delivery. no more eating that same salad bowl and burger every day. nutritious. home-cooked. delicious food. COMMENT below to get on our beta tester waitlist!
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I have coworkers from Italy visiting my office today. I want to take them to Chipotle to show them my culture
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In 2014 when journalists freaked out about Gamergate they were accurately sensing the forces that would eventually bring their downfall
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I think it's kind of hot that two famous people with irreparably damaged brands are dating. They aren't even cancelled they just aren't cool. They have to understand each other in a way that's difficult for others to understand
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Yes that boy is sending you coded messages by liking not just your selfies but also the photos of your lunch and your walks. But also he's sending those coded messages in 10 seconds pressing the heart button on his screen while eating a burrito
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I was feeling like everything is useless and then I go in the subway and see this :/
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The average woman today puts more thought into softlaunching her boyfriend than most software companies do for their product rollouts
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NPCing out this Sunday morning. Slightly hungover playing Fortnite and listening to the new Taylor Swift on my PS4. Scrolling TikTok during the loading screens. Going to Trader Joe's soon
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How she looks at you when you explain you're bivalvegan (vegan except you eat oysters because they are nonsentient)
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Not going to a Halloween party tonight. Not interested in dressing up in a silly outfit to impress women. I'm with the boys discussing art and technology #MenGoingTheirOwnWay
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So much of modern Asian college confidential forum posts is just "hey! did you know this thing white people have been doing for hundreds of years can get you into Harvard?"
so much of modern white cooking is just "hey! did u know thing poc have been eating for thousands of years tastes good?"
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Walking across Central Park on a weekend morning makes me feel like I'm Vampire Weekend or Jefferey Epstein
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It's a huge red flag if someone talks about how autumn and spring are "short seasons". Signals that they aren't attentive to the world changing around them
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People love to say "dimes square never produced any art of note" but Red Scare is obviously more influential than any novel written since 2018
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It's really cute how everyone on Twitter says "oneshotted" instead of "oneshot" because they all learned the word from this tweet by ESL prose stylist Landshark
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