John-Michael Bond
@BondJohnBond
Followers
3,733
Following
2,234
Media
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30,965
Groucho Marx then Richard Marx then Karl Marx. Photos. Standup. Italian Soda Enthusiast.
Los Angeles, CA
Joined February 2011
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FREENBECKY AT 9ENT
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$COOKIE
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The Logo
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Happy 11th
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Zemmour
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#INI_3rd_anniversary
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ŞampiyonlukYakın Karacakaya
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#20thGEMINIDay
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Regular Show
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Happy Festa
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Trabajo Infantil
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Rodgers
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Thiago Motta
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Last Seen Profiles
You don’t want AI photos of everything you want. You want this real photo you didn’t know existed until Twitter of a cat you don’t know stealing an egg. The magic is in discovering what you didn’t know you wanted. Kill the treats machine.
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Pitchfork is one thing, but capitalism admitting it doesn’t know how to keep a legacy brand like Sports Illustrated alive should be a radicalizing moment for Americans. Shareholders are taking everything and burning it. Every business doesn’t need to make a billion dollars.
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How many years has it been since Congress passed a meaningful business regulation? Nothing on artificially high grocery prices, not regulating how Facebook and Google steal ad money, not even pushing back on price gouging fans at stadiums their tax dollars bought. Nothing.
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“As a banjo player I’ve experienced discrimination” is objectively the funniest thing that’s ever been said.
“Why I’m Leaving Mumford & Sons” by Winston Marshall
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@AmberSmelson
@NotAlexis
That is absolutely insane. There have been times when I was like "hey guys, I was thinking of doing this thing that's a little expensive. Would everyone throw in $10 for shrimp" or something but just springing it? What kind of lunatic.
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Right wingers called in a bomb threat to my home town holiday parade because of a float with drag queens but left the Nightmare Before Christmas float untouched because they don’t understand how southern kids actually discover they might be queer.
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My family was financially ruined by my grandfather’s open casket funeral. We had no idea people would go back for a second or third casket.
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Bugs Bunny is a cross dressing bisexual whose main enemy was a conservative from Texas and literally once cut the state of Florida off of the United States with a saw.
“When we were young, you could watch cartoons without having to worry.”
— Gov. Ron DeSantis (R-FL) again baselessly claims Disney is injecting sexuality into cartoons while stumping for Nevada Senate candidate Adam Laxalt
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They won't do anything to fight climate change, the plague, or crushing student debt. Nothing has radicalized me like existing in a world where a rich man keeping a dollar is worth the destruction of everyone else.
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My favorite genre of Musk posting is “Dril Tweet, but serious.”
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@SymoneBeez
@tsukihomie
Counterpoint, hiring has gotten fucking insane if people have to send out multiple applications every day for a year to get any traction in the job market. Capital of this country has entirely too much power and protection.
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This Jay Johnston situation is sad. However, it’s absolutely hilarious that even if you’ve been on TV for 25 years, if you do a comedy, the police will have to ask for help identifying who the fuck you are.
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Send every American family a six week supply of food, $4000, and shut down everything but hospitals and utilities. House homeless people in vacant hotels with food supplies. Do this before agricultural supply lines are impacted. Tax every dollar above 1b at 95%.
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The most unbelievable part of the Bible is a 32-year-old man with twelve close friends.
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Beyond this being an insane example of a racist saying “we used to be a proper country,” Alien Ant Farm’s vocalist is the son of an undocumented immigrant from Mexico.
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@joelgolby
The city caps how much they can raise your rent by like 3% every year. They can’t raise it legally because of Covid. If they raised it more than the already absurd amount they’re allowed to raise it every year, call the city. Make a point of being a pain in the ass.
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My favorite conspiracy theory is that the Clinton's have had hundreds of people murdered but have just never gotten better at making the murders not suspicious. Like they're just blood-soaked Mr. Beans.
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To Qanon supporters who feel that down right now, adrift and hopeless without a country, may I suggest Juggalo culture. It’s awesome, there’s forums, the parties are way more fun, and you’ll never be asked to die for someone who doesn’t love you.
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Hi guys. Just so we can get this out of the way, I didn't use the word magazine. I used the word brand. We're talking about businesses being destroyed while paying millions to the arsonists. If it makes conservatives happy, this bullshit was caused by Clinton deregulating media.
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@cw404034
Capitalism that does nothing to deal with the rich people who drain companies for profit while actively sabotaging their own business model is not real capitalism.
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Me flourishing in a comfy place and certainly not suffering from clinical depression that has made me question my self-worth, need to be alive, art, work, and if my friendships exist.
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It’s not shoplifting, it’s an employee discount for working the check out.
Gen Z loves self-checkout — because it makes shoplifting easy
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There’s a history of alcoholism and drug abuse in my family. That’s right, I have high wasted genes.
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@DericBindel
@Q_Review
You have an adorable amount of faith in the courts having nuance they don’t show
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Do you hate Garden State or do you hate who you were in 2004?
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@KLobstar
@TheNextBigBoom
I like that NeuroLink scaring him in no way made him question any other aspect of who Elon musk is
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First off, this is obviously a lie. But even if it wasn't a lie, it means Biden heard this story, kept it in his heart, and then voted for the Defense of Marriage Act anyway.
"He said, 'Joey, it's simple. They love each other.'"
Joe Biden tells a story of what his father told him in the 1960s after they saw two men kissing in public.
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@dylanmatt
Touchscreens are awful, dangerous, and shorten the lifespan of a car. Everything doesn't need a screen.
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Tell me they don’t deserve statehood.
Holy shit Puerto Rico just brought a guillotine to the Governor’s mansion for their
#BlackLivesMatter
protest.
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Now put him in general population. After all our prisons are safe right?
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@joelgolby
Our landlord is trying to pull a bunch of shady shit since Covid started and we have used the free time not working to sit on the phone for hours with people with the city so there are official complaints and records. Interestingly the listen now. Sorry your dealing with this.
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@itsmejmg
That’s not running a business at a profit, that’s gutting a business for a profit.
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@Boringstein
It’s incredible how many people in the arts exist solely to make money from that art and never had any desire to actually fucking make anything.
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Alright muting this because a few 100K plus follower right-wing accounts have shared it, making the comments even dumber. Thanks for killing my phone battery today and for the new followers. If you run a blog about pro wrestling, let me pitch it to you.
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I married the Tony Hawk Pro Skater soundtrack and honestly couldn't be more grateful.
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@David_Leavitt
@AskTarget
Do you know how fucking scummy you have to be to make people side with a corporation?
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Regulation could make this illegal. It could bring back local radio, destroy corporate news, ensure small towns don’t only get tax revenue through speed traps, make phones use a standard charger etc. Government itself isn’t evil. Government by people who hate governance is.
Love paying hundreds of dollars for a flight weeks in advance, checking in 24 hrs ahead of departure, and seeing that we're 6th & 7th in line on a standby list with *22 OTHER PEOPLE*.
@Delta
really just fucking hates anyone who doesn't upgrade eh?
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The Jonah Hill information is a ridiculous gift to men. A clear example of how something that may have felt innocuous in the moment, hell even healthy in the eye of a shrink, can still wreck a partner. It’s a vital free chance at reflection about your ideas on boundaries. 1/2
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@JennyENicholson
@dhacker615
@rianjohnson
The final promise of a new generation of children enslaved by the Empire harnessing a rebirth of the force is the most exciting idea in Star Wars, and they did nothing with it
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@JamieIs4PF
You’re packing boxes. You don’t have skilled labor, you have a youthful body that will wear down overtime. You’re attacking someone in a worse situation than you whole cutting your own throat dumbass.
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Thats right, she can wear pink and participate in the destruction of human life.
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Great comedy is all around you if you look. Just watched a woman let a firefighter get in front of her and three other people at the sandwich shop. He said thank you and then ordered fourteen sandwiches.
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Whenever a comedian is outed as a predator people say "and he isn't even funny." For the record, the guy who tried to molest me as a kid was fucking hilarious and it didn't make the experience any better.
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Elon Musk is proof that even if you treat a billionaire like they’re cool, they don’t have enough humanity for it to matter. Dude got to date Grimes, host SNL, and was in a Marvel movie as himself and the weird little nerd still pivoted to fascism before just helping people.
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Netflix had the power to create without limitations and they used it to weaponize the worst habits of old Hollywood and gut pay while creating an army of TV shows that almost exclusively end on cliffhangers that guarantee no one will ever watch them on repeat.
Frequent TV Series Cancellations Altering Viewer Behavior, Survey Shows
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Weird, I see four killers but only one set of charges.
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Incredible read for all artists, not just bands.
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Every bank that says it doesn’t want to take money from sex workers takes money from drug cartels that murder children and families. Every bank that says it doesn’t want to take money from sex workers has ties to Jeffrey Epstein.
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@ProjectLincoln
@GraceSpelman
@ameliabeing
She’s upset you stole editing work she did and that you’re a social media hack for a bunch of war criminals who are now trying to do a rehabilitation tour after four years of the mad man they helped prop up destroying America.
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@upsidechazwick
@SymoneBeez
@tsukihomie
Not true. Almost no site lets you just submit a cv without tons of proofing
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@POTUS
will build on the $600 down payment provided by Congress last year, sending an additional $1,400 to households across America, totaling direct payments to $2,000 per person.
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If you’ve never played video games, this means America has one hit point left.
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I chose to be a freelancer because I love the adrenaline rush of not getting paid on time or getting a cost of living adjustment from the company I’ve been loyal to for three years. Benefits are for boomer cowards. I love knowing my survival is based on Facebook algorithms.
Millennials are now the largest demographic in the American workforce, and they’re increasingly deciding to freelance:
42% now freelance, up from 38% in 2014.
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The Kids in the Hall being brought back by an evil billionaire who tries to crush unions while creating his own spaceship sounds like the plot of a Kids in the Hall sketch.
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Looking for a single mom or single dad in LA that’s having a tight year and could use an Xbox One under the tree this year. It’s used but we’ll make sure you have some games and a controller. Hit me up.
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Saw John C Reilly play a man named Mr. Romantic, who lives in a box and can’t escape the box unless he’s performing or someone tells him they will love him forever. He sang standards with a band and told jokes. Best show I’ve seen in years. I think he was playing a demon.
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My wife Emily's tattoo business is shut down until COVID19 gets sorted out. Em has kept hustling and has pivoted to selling art online. She needs 800 more followers on Instagram before they'll let her put links in stories. Please give her a follow.
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@colemanjspilde
What an opportunity to build real staggeringly beautiful sets and instead make your slop.
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Everyone gets embarrassed by their depression but it's perfectly normal. Like, Jesus went into the desert for 40 days by himself and when he got back he was like "uhhh I was fighting the devil?"
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We gave billionaires a world ending pandemic to prove they knew when to trickle down. It should be war. Tax them out of existence and use the money to rebuild our country. Public transportation & affordable housing didn’t use to be a pipe dream. Healthcare didn’t bankrupt people.
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We used to have local free alt weekly papers with local advertising that paid local writers and paid for indie comic strips. We used to have local news. We had local radio and local tv programming. Then Clinton deregulated media, and now companies buy everything good and kill it.
I’ve been thinking about this and it’s a quietly radicalizing realization that rapacious profit seeking has hollowed out so much of what’s fun and community enhancing in our society. So many things just stopped existing because they don’t return 300% to awful people.
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@DebraDiGiovanni
Doctors are lunatics. When I was 14 I told my doctor that I was bulimic, the first person I'd ever told, and he said "but you look so good!" To a kid! Solidarity on your journey Debra.
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@means_over
@cw404034
If you’re not going to know anything about venture capital, shareholders, or how the economy works and incentivizes people to do this shit I don’t think it’s worth talking to you.
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In 2019 my mom was hit by a taxi cab in Chicago. Right before COVID hit her car was destroyed by a tornado. Then on Dec 30 she was diagnosed with cancer. When folks ask how I can still be a Christian I tell them “because I can’t punch God in his stupid face if I’m in hell.”
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@CowabungaLLC
Man if only every major grocery store wasnt showing massive profit increases and tax payers hadn’t forked over billions for stadiums your point would be cooking
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@RWPopulism
I think it’s cool when you guys admit you don’t actually believe in freedom and just wanted to control over everything.
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@Donttellm5
@robrousseau
Man it really sucks when there’s a video showing her moving the car slowly and the cop deciding killing someone was more important than moving in front of the vehicle. Ya’ll are so scared of the government until cops start shooting people you hate.
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@Achilles1108
@KOBPatrickHayes
Sounds like the free market is working and businesses need to make a job worth working.
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@AdiosCarlito
@emilystjams
Spoken like someone who agrees with her and hasn't bothered to read what she's said and supported.
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The generation that made it illegal for farmers to repair their tractors and turned everything into cheap unrepairable junk has some words about the shitty world they left their kids.
Millennial dads have pathetic DIY skills compared to baby boomers
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It’s truly amazing insurance executives aren’t hunted for sport.
wild stuff from NPR yesterday--
baby is born, needs to be in NICU. bill is over $207k. both parents have health insurance. they keep getting bills. here's the crazy fucking reason why omg
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@LaneLee21742320
You’re dumb as a brick and waste so much time being angry people you hate exist that you’re robbing yourself of liking sports because it includes people you hate. Live lonely with nothing to enjoy as capitalism robs you.
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On behalf of basically every weird kid from the 80s, thanks man.
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@ellorysmith
Could have seriously used this tweet months ago, but I make amazing sour dough now.
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Hey, sorry I haven’t gotten around to that thing. I’ve been wallowing in an optional hell of my own creation because it’s easier than asking for help.
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Rich comedians talk about their job the same way cops do. “I’m not your hero, I’m here to take you through a dark world and uncover the horrible truth that lies behind it (and obviously cover up the crimes of my closest friends).”
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@riptide430
Outside of the mag none of that is true. These are all profitable business if removed from insane corporate greed structures. Podcasts are literally king form journalism. So are blogs. Google and FB destroying the online advertising space to enrich two companies was preventible.
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Sometimes abuse isn’t screaming or cussing. Sometimes it’s reducing a person and making them think of your shit before they live their life. If your first instinct is to defend him, I get it. But that might be a sign you should reflect on your past. There’s hurt behind you. 2/2
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As I approach 40 more of my childhood friends have killed themselves than have gotten married, been able to afford a house, have children, jobs that pay living wages, or ever plan to retire.
Boomers harp about participation trophies because it's all those locusts gave us.
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All rent and debt are frozen during this period. Landlords and banks are industries, not utilities. Medicare 4 All is insinuated but lets say it’s name just for clarity. The only reason we haven’t done this already is the government doesn’t want you to know it can fix things.
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@OnClose
@RichieMcGinniss
@BarrettWilson6
This man was shot pursuing Kyle after he committed a murder. His gun was drawn to defend other peoples lives. It’s the sort of thing you liars pretend to care about when you talk about the second amendment. You are all fascist apologists for a mass shooter.
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For those who weren't lucky enough to see Jak Knight live here is his bonkers half hour.
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@TM0s41
@MaxKennerly
@JStein_WaPo
Nothing says "Reagan conservative" like having apple sauce in your brain.
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Every billionaire has made a choice to have a billion dollars while people starve and can't afford medical care. Every billionaire could live the rest of their lives with $50 million and use the rest to help people. So yeah, it's always funny when their little projects kill them.
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