Alacrity's Ghost
@AlacritysWhatev
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family's been here since 1850'ish- confederates welcome to compost. 5,878,253,497th world's tallest dwarf Lifelnog dyslexic typochondriac. *NSFW* the/that/it
earth, mostly
Joined March 2021
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
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Pinned Tweet
always remember- don't be a snowflake.
be a bowling ball sized hailstone.
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Not only did they bury Ivana at Bedminster- they're charging her estate for burial costs, maintenance fees and get this-
MEMBERSHIP FEES.
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in all fairness, it's the only thing in her house she can turn on.
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"a bad guy with a cake attacked the Mona Lisa. Too bad there wasn't a good guy with a cake there to stop him"
see how f'n stupid that shit sounds?
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Marsha felt discomfort for her ridiculed hairstyle, so she visited Rand Paul's barber.
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@PastorAlexLove
sure- it's a smoke ring:
Bernoulli's principle states that the faster a flow of air is moving the lower its pressure. Since the air inside the vortex is moving faster than the outside air, the resulting inward pressure is the force that holds the smoke ring together.
next?
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again, as required by internet law whenever Josh Hawley trends:
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internet law requires this to be posted whenever Josh Hawley trends:
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@sgee4me
yes.
because shingles will not kill you no matter how much you wish it would when you have it.
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internet law requires this to be reposted whenever Mercedes Schlapp trends:
in all fairness, it's the only thing in her house she can turn on.
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I'm so old I can smell this pic.
If you played with one of these as a kid, you may be "Well Seasoned." Did you?
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so let me get this straight- Proud Boys who dress like this are mad about trans & drag queens? are they just jealous of the wardrobe? I mean... 🤷♂️
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the Uvalde video has had the screams of those kids removed from it.
I want Greg Abbott, Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, Ronny Jackson, Matt Gaetz, Mitch McConnell, MTG, Boebert, Biggs, etc all locked in a room and have only that soundtrack played back at 150dB.
endlessly.
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I'm guessing he's telling the guy on 2nd base to steal.
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@SenatorTimScott
aw, timmy... it's widely known that pipeline would be over a decade away and carry Canadian oil from there to the gulf for export- we'd only get what leaked out of it.
your parents- they're cousins, yeah?
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Ultra MAGA should never be confused with Michelob Ultra.
It is not beer.
It's white whine.
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Devin Nunes trending means this gets posted. every time.
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seriously- I did copious amounts of drugs in the 80's, and the closest I ever got to this stage was on 5 grams of shrooms, a 1/4 oz of blow & half a fifth of Jack.
Trump, confused: Over the seas and over our land. And then they want us to have clean. I said wait, we’re gonna be clean but it’s all flying. Just remember that. Does that make sense? In other words, it’s all coming through the currents through the air, they can name it
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@mercedesschlapp
he hates domestic terrorists like ANY American does, babe.
you admitted it.
you earned it.
enjoy.
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"She CAN'T sue me again for defamation- double jeopardy!!"
-DFG
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Devin Nunes? Trending?
Always a great opportunity to say hi 🤣
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@senrobportman
what foiled plot?
the guy left his gun in his suitcase at the hotel, turned himself in and didn't get within 500' of the house.
who foiled what?
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@ImSpeaking13
2 points overlooked:
1: Greeson's heart attack was caused by an 'inadvertent discharge' of the taser in his pocket into his testicles.
2: Boyland was waving a Gadson "Don't Tread On Me" flag when trampled by the crowd.
😶🤣😶
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we have a winner.
When I saw the car explosion on TV, I didn’t immediately assume it was terrorism.
I assumed it was a Tesla.
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dipshit bought a $5lb woke (all natural, vegan fed, no preservatives, free-range) turkey and complains it's Biden's fault it's so expensive?
this shit writes itself.
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sweet jeeezis he makes solid, unflinchingly good points.
Chris Christie on Trump:
“This is an angry bitter man, who now wants to be back as president because he wants to exact retribution on anyone who has disagreed with him."
#GOPDebate
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@dorianvanserra
do what I used to- yell stuff like:
"DO THAT THING WITH YOUR FINGER- SHE LOVES THAT"
-or-
"CAN YOU MOVE A LITTLE TO YOUR LEFT? YOU'RE OUT OF FRAME"
it's the neighborly thing to do.
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Happy Birthday President Trump!
May it be your last.
(before you go to prison for the rest of your life)
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whenever Devin Nunes is trending is always a great time to post this...
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well, I just spent 3.5 hours passing a kidney stone.
how's your day going?
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single cam, single take, f'n awesome.
The Norfolk Police Department was challenged by a another Police Department, Texas to a lipsync battle.
They shot it in one take.
The whole world needs this kind of fun...
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$50 says this ain't a student.
anywhere.
Can someone explain to me how doing this at Columbia helps Palestine.
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I'm sorry.
the marketing department failed when they didn't call this stuff Pap Schmear.
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TFW you realize your date isn't coming back from the bathroom.
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3 years ago, I found a feral kitten at the base of a quince tree. she was the runt, underweight, eyes glued shut, covered in fleas and rotted fruit, mom nowhere to be seen.
Brought her in (found the rest of the litter later) and named her Quincy.
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as required by internet law whenever Devin Nunes trends:
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@Liz_Wheeler
you should.
not for medical reasons- just to contain the crap that comes out of your mouth.
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@guelphgirlchris
she was a guard at both A/B Andrews & the green zone, charged with enforcing the red line with deadly force, without compromise.
she knew what the penalty was and deliberately & with malice crossed the line.
she was a radicalized extremist terrorist who committed suicide.
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@TomCottonAR
you mean the way where gerrymandering doesn't matter & whoever gets the most votes wins?
yeah, I can see where you'd object.
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@WendyRogersAZ
looks like you'll have to find new campaign donors, then.
sorry the world is shutting down your sponsors, comrade.
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@RonFilipkowski
Babbitt was a guard in the Green Zone where 1 step out of line resulted in being shot.
She was a guard at Andrews air base, where one step over the red line resulted in being shot.
She deliberately stepped over the line.
We do not mourn terrorist deaths.
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pssssst- say bye-bye to Sarah Palin.
she lost the special election in Alaska.
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@JDVance1
see, one of the great things about this country is you're free to get the fuck out.
we'll even help you pack- it's a win/win.
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welp, that's one way to say you hate your mom 🤷🏾
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Ashli Babbitt betrayed her Oath, her uniform, our flag and our country.
She was radicalized by MAGA and died an extremist domestic terrorist.
She's as much a patriot as Tim McVeigh and Terry Nichols, and will forever be a disgrace to Americans.
Full Stop.
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Rudy, telling his son he has to live with him now:
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so who thinks Jr freaked & flushed his stash when he heard daddy was being raided?
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@Sommer34235869
a radicalized extremist received justice on January 6 2021.
she was a guard at the Green Zone & AFB Andrews, knowing full well the penalty for crossing the line was termination, and she crossed the line.
she betrayed her oath, her flag, her uniform and country.
full-stop.
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to those that defend Ashli Babbet, calling her a patriot & veteran- remember Timothy McVeigh?
He was a Gulf War vet, and the same people think he's a patriot, too.
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he's off the adderails again 😂🤣😂
Trump, confused: Over the seas and over our land. And then they want us to have clean. I said wait, we’re gonna be clean but it’s all flying. Just remember that. Does that make sense? In other words, it’s all coming through the currents through the air, they can name it
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Jack Smith watching the DFG/Bret Baier interview:
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christ... Kim Guilfoyle looks like shit without makeup.
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@RichardGrenell
Americans are united, princess- there is no dissent against treason.
WE are The United States of America.
you aren't anymore- you attacked our country.
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@DrOz
yay.
they saw you're polling 5th in a field of 3, behind "I don't know", peanut- there seems to be a credibility issue here, and there is zero need for green coffee pills in the White House.
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wai-wai-wait-
of 740k registered Iowa republicans, the manchurian-mangina scored 54k votes?
that ain't a landslide, kids- it's dry skidmark.
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@RepJasonSmith
let us know when he reaches $155,000,000 in greens fees, cart rentals & accommodations for his secret service detail that was paid to his properties, princess.
we'll give a damn then, I promise.
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"What happens in the outhouse stays in the outhouse"
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@jess_mc
ah, yes...
unemployment was at 12.3%, there were food lines miles long, shelves were empty, staple prices were up over 26%- if you could find them and we had a guy who was playing golf because he "wanted to play it down"
but hey- gas was $2 a gallon, amIright?
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@JGnuman197
as cathartic as that may be- it's still destructive.
using a pair of wire cutters to remove the valve stems of two tires makes sure they get to keep that parking spot until the tow truck gets there and rarely ruins the tires.
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y'know who ain't doin' better now than he was 4 years ago?
<hint>
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