Pastor Alex
@PastorAlexLove
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Church of the forgiving Eagle
Joined November 2017
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Pinned Tweet
As of late, there have been terrible terrible rumours circulating on the internet that I am not a Pastor and that I am only pretending to be a Pastor.
Here is my OFFICIAL PASTOR CERTIFICATE that I hereby put on PUBLIC RECORD.
Blessed is the Forgiving Eagle 🙏🏾
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A Walrus getting lost, ending up in Scarborough and then masturbating IN PUBLIC then having a sleep and then Scarborough Council cancelling the NYE fireworks display in case it woke him is the denouement of 2022.
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To whoever laced the Church of the Forgiving Eagle communion wafers with LSD, you are NOT funny and have also probably committed a CRIME!
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Atheists, if JESUS is not real then please explain this?
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My friend had one shot of the covid vaccine, now all he does all day is this!
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Atheists, if JESUS is not real then please explain this?
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Atheists, if JESUS is not real then please explain this?
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Atheists, if JESUS is not real then please explain this?
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Atheists, if JESUS is not real then please explain this?
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Atheists, if the POWER OF JESUS is not real then please explain this?
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Atheists, if JESUS is not real then please explain this.
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Atheists, if JESUS is not real then please explain this.
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@RishiSunak
So to be absolutely clear, you are stopping things that aren’t actually even things?
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Atheists, if JESUS is not real then please explain this?
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Atheists are now DEEP FRYING ABORTED EMBRYOS and dipping them in hot sauce.
Why is this not FRONT PAGE NEWS?
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To whoever laced the Church of the Forgiving Eagle communion wafers with LSD, you are NOT funny and have also probably committed a CRIME!
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Atheists, if JESUS is not real then please explain this?
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Atheists, if JESUS is not real, then please explain this?
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Atheists, if Jesus isn’t real, then how did Da Vinci paint The Last Supper?
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Atheists, if JESUS is not real then please explain this?
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Atheists, if JESUS is not real then please explain this.
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We will miss you Brother Coots 🙏
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Atheists, if JESUS is not real then please explain this?
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We would like to apologise* to everyone who was offended at The Church of the Forgiving Eagle Easter Bonanza today.
(*No refunds).
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At this time of year I would give thanks to JESUS for blessing me with a luxury jet and a fleet of super cars.
Thank you JESUS 🙏
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THANK YOU to whoever gifted us these festive angel wings. 🙏
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I am not normally into this so called “modern art”, however there is something about this statue of the Virgin Mary that I can quite put my finger on. 🙏
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Atheists are now BIOENGINEERING HOMOSEXUAL ANTS to make the bite good Christians andmake them gay.
I am ok if people are born gay, that’s cool, but to DELIBERATELY create chemtrail ants to MAKE people gay without any type of consent is NOT OK!!!
#SayNoToNonConsensualGayAnts
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Atheists; if JESUS is not real, then please explain this?
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Atheists, if JESUS is not real then please explain this…
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Atheists, is SATAN is not real then please explain this…
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Please remember to conduct proper H&S risk assessments when Jesusing 🙏
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Atheists, if JESUS is not real then please explain this?
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Cats aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with. Cats just want to watch the world burn.
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Atheists, if JESUS is not real, please explain this?
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Atheists, if JESUS is not real, then please explain this!
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Atheists, if JESUS is not real then please explain this?
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AN APOLOGY.
We sincerely apologise to everyone injured* at yesterday’s Singalong with JESUS spectacular.
(*Please remember that JESUS preaches forgiveness and frowns upon anyone making personal injury claims against the church 🙏).
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We did an experiment with mices and made them atheists - 4 hours later we found them like this.
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Congratulations to Sister Karla and Sister Veronica for second prize in the Annual Church of the Forgiving Eagle Halloween fancy dress competition.
Your free McDonalds soft drink voucher is on its way 🙏
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Atheists, if JESUS is not real, then please explain this?
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Let this be a warning to all COFFEE DRINKERS out there.
Just ONE CUP will disqualify you and your family from HEAVEN.
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Atheists, if JESUS is not real then please explain this?
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Atheists, if JESUS is not real then please explain this…
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@MPSLewishamCntl
Great work team 👍
We need more professional and dedicated officers to help keep *checks notes* Matlesers off our streets.
🙏
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Atheists if JESUS is not real then please explain this?
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Atheists, how can you ignore the EVIDENCE that JESUS was born exactly on Christmas Day and died exactly on Easter.
The odds of this happening by chance are 132,677.8125 to 1.
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Congratulations to Buster for claiming an impressive 112th place in this years Kennel Club Dog Agility Championships
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This brave chicken was born without any arms but still lives their best life.
Thank you JESUS 🙏
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Atheists, if JESUS is not real then please explain this…
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Atheists, if JESUS is not real then please explain this…
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The Church of the Forgiving Eagle would like to remind all parishioners (again) to TURN OFF their mobile phones during exorcisms.
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