
Morty Williams
@gingibreadman
Followers
35
Following
3K
Media
205
Statuses
4K
Question everything, but question that too.
Joined January 2014
@Hagbard02021268 @sarahschauer I heard they're minting a fresh batch of PTO tokens, get in on this exclusive ICO before it goes live!.
1
2
1K
@BillBrasky11 @hecubian_devil Me when I give up my free will and think whatever the machine tells me to.
4
2
755
@CaptainAppleX @PopCrave They offered 10k, the majority of America celebrated his death, so they said fine. 50k.
7
1
545
@JamesSpackman @poldiscoursebot If you point to a painting and say, "that's a nice painting", are you saying the painting is compassionate?.
6
4
465
@USA_whale @SnowHimbo White people: *imports slaves*. Also White people: "wwaahhh why are there Black people in my country waahhh".
2
3
400
@UsingLyft @Mimikyuse @paleonormie @hollowearthterf You do realize that the difference between .01% and .1% of the total child population is 2 million kids? Just because .1 looks like a small number doesn't mean you're talking about an insignificant amount of people. Incredibly basic logic.
2
0
322
@Dontcallmekid34 @maanavchaawla @aidan7501 @kirawontmiss White swiftie tries not to be racist challenge: 0 attempts and counting.
4
1
312
@juansinmeido @mazzypopstar Me scrolling through Instagram filters in 2013 trying to decide which one brings out my eyes more.
0
0
310
@jaydimas23 @eyelidcloser @magnum_cartel @ImNotListening6 Fast food pizza in Canada: walk in and order a large pizza with a few toppings. Pay $30+ per pie. Go online. Find a coupon for 2 large pizzas and wings for $35. It's almost like a tax on people who don't search deals online.
17
1
258
@ballstimore @K_Tempo @mitochondrywall @iWrathfuI @eriz35 @Vaulty_22 @MAGAMANXI Elon brags about having 0 time for any fun or his kids because he is the CEO of 3 companies, yet he also does tons of drugs and raves, and posts 9 tweets a day?.
5
1
197
@Gritman303 @SnowHimbo Oh no I sure hope no other country steals the idea for clean, renewable energy. What will we do? Oh the humanity.
0
0
180
@InkMasterbator @BenLenzo @itszeax Well said. Imo comedy loses its charm when you aim for the lowest hanging fruit. "If trans women exist, why can't I be a woman whenever I want?" Isn't just crass and disingenuous, it's also the furthest thing from clever and hardly even a joke even by some pretty low standards.
1
1
150
@StanleyGuch @dumpstxrfire_ @machecazzodicii What's the point of satire if it directly benefits what it's supposed to be making fun of?.
0
1
163
@UsingLyft @Mimikyuse @paleonormie @hollowearthterf If simply the man being old increases the risk 1000 fold, then any woman should be concerned. They could already be at risk and make it even more likely.
3
0
151
@PracticalLibSoc @DildoGaggins89 Cp didn't become obsolete after it was normalized by mass production? Are you trying to tell me child sexual abuse doesn't adhere to rudimentary supply-side economics?!.
1
0
147
@TheKateScholl @theliamnissan He went into detail about the sex he had with each woman and gave them ratings. He also tried to get his wife diagnosed as mentally insane after she found the diary, and told her she would be better off dead. RFK Jr is not the victim here. His penthouse suite's reserved in hell.
2
4
131
@FragileApathy @chipikmi @DariusTheeGreat @quenblackwell Women have been making this joke for ages and they didn't make it cringey with Patrick Bateman.
1
1
108
@WilliamSta77046 @AshleyGWinter @JimmyParker87 There's also a modern phenomenon with uneducated people where they adamantly defend anything a richer and more powerful person says just because they're important. So bizarre to see.
5
3
129
@psyolitic @danishacarterr Talking about medical errors while knowing very little about medicine is… ironic to say the least.
1
0
119
@FreckledLiberty @Rothmus You would if he had a confederate flag bumper sticker and smelled like dip.
3
1
96
@Fr121212121Fr @spencers_tweets This is actually extremely wise advice that will lead this person to great relationship success for the rest of their life.
1
1
103
@V0LCANICBIRD How do you have free palestine in your bio yet you want a sovereign nation to be assimilated 😂 the irony is so thick you could cut it with a knife.
1
0
97
@prettyalbatross @ballobrunette @notwhitenotblue Mid is the absolute nicest way you could have put it 💀.
1
0
88
@Asunaeatsoreos @biiish0P @WhiteHouse You say this like the tariffs weren't going to push the entire world into making more trade with China and less with the US.
2
0
97
@iamquianachanel @jiggyjayy2 @organizednapz Telling people to be grateful that their parents didn't abandon them is wild. it's like telling women to be happy to that their husbands don't rape them. Taking care of the kids you brought into this world is not an act of charity, it's the law.
1
1
93
@schuld_eth @kirawontmiss If they showed this at the presidential debate Trump and Harris would forgive each other, and the whole nation would slowly begin healing.
1
2
92
@TipxSee @AmericanMama86 @serickjr @historyinmemes Yeah and in the case of rape, it applies far more to men. That's why the spikes are on the inside of the condom and not the outside.
4
1
86
@Mr_Just_Meeee @unaconsu @hunterLuchifer @HoffmannsMees @mattxiv Since when is not bursting into an impromptu live music performance on a plane considered walking on tiptoes??.
1
0
81
@XL0coSTkiLLer @danas_place @KamilMPoet @kinjaldave7 If you have time to line a pan with drumsticks, you have time to throw a few spices on there. Are you actually trying to gatekeep the flavour of chicken? "White people actually like food because they eat it unseasoned" is not the brag you think it is. Strange hill to die on.
1
4
72
@Popeyes @DUDEwipes Social media interns interacting through their multi million dollar corporate twitter accounts is what I'm still on this forsaken app for 🙏.
0
0
79
@baesonic_temple @StageCraftBeast @TheRocketRalph Halloween is the perfect opportunity to live out all your gender fantasies without fear. Built in excuse!.
2
1
73
@mazzypopstar @jellybaebb @azealiaslacewig You are literally creating new strains on mathematics, I am definitely not smart enough to follow where you're going here.
5
0
70
@Halcyon68000515 @Auroraturee @vylerria Being aware that anyone could be dangerous is not stereotyping. Why do women, or anyone, owe you enough that they have to specifically make an exemption for you? It is not women's responsibility to be aware of your efforts and publically acknowledge them. It's not about you.
3
0
68
@EiMikoR34__ @magnetonlyfans @jaxajueny Taking out your prefrontal cortex and presenting it with a certificate of authenticity.
1
0
65
@pasalor73 @frostedflake You abuse apologists are so funny. You think you're making a damning point but all you're doing is proving that deflection is necessary to cover up for your man.
1
1
70
@Shawn_Grier @CopsHateMoe A grown man with a kid saying "based" unironically is the one of the funniest and most pathetic things I've seen on Twitter in a while. And that is saying something, woah golly.
0
0
61
@gypsysinner @maliktheoracle @dukepege You know, most people who don't hate minorities don't start off with "I don't hate minorities".
1
1
52
@kayisabarb4L @Condomphobic @symplylivinj @N4RCISSlSTIC I swear these people have a humiliation kink cause who would set themselves like this?.
2
1
54
@asteroidsatmos @dannycage101 @_Kordei Maybe if women start saying he's great and men start saying he's abusive then finally these guys will understand.
2
0
59
@theworkingmans @pstrboyrah Nothing is stopping them from surrounding themselves with like minded people. That's what most people do? How are you going to be lonely if you spend time with people who agree with you 😂.
1
0
49
@Halcyon68000515 @Auroraturee @vylerria Women trying to take precautions for their own safety, is not shaming you for your gender. You are not entitled to your own special treatment because you feel you're great. You can feel bad about the reality of safety in our society. It doesn't exist to personally target you.
2
0
50
@PlayingWithLego @duskadanka @flackospalace The forehead scrunch too. He looks like he's holding his breath and possibly emptying his bowels
0
0
50
@Mr_Just_Meeee @unaconsu @hunterLuchifer @HoffmannsMees @mattxiv Considering how aggravating live music can be, I'd say it's not worth pissing off a bunch of trapped passengers just to enjoy a singalong to your favourite acoustic country ballad.
1
0
51
@bluebellios @bobby Why waste the money? I'm leaving it for the next return of Halley's comet in 2061.
1
0
51
@kissmyassburger @itstanjay @esjesjesj Because it shouldn't be legal to get a permit to pollute if no one is actually going to ensure it gets cleaned up.
4
0
53
@FDTProgressive @CantEverDie @vanoreo_ To give him credit, this was probably his speech writers. To take that credit away, don't think he could do any better.
0
0
42
@AviationAndrewC @DiabolicalSpuds Makes sense it's a woman's drink cause I don't know many men who can handle it.
1
0
51
@dannycage101 @asteroidsatmos @_Kordei There is camera footage of him being abusive, it's just not publically available as it is being used as evidence in court. It's almost as if everyone who isn't his loyal fan doesn't trust him because of his behaviour, words, and overall negative, spiteful energy.
1
1
50
@NeuerGlove @CadiLlac35 @benshapiro Have you never heard hyperbole in a song before? Exaggeration for effect is a foreign concept to you, yes?.
1
0
43
@GendaiKitoushi @LopezLilah22272 @GarbageHuman24 You are projecting so hard we can see you on the moon.
0
0
44
@mgny626kxt1 @DejaAnai @_6signxxx Woaahh a fetus doesn't have an opinion? Next you'll tell me it doesn't have thoughts, feelings, connections, memories or a body 😳.
0
3
44
@StageCraftBeast @TheRocketRalph This is the best drag Yale could do? The Ivy league really is overrated.
0
1
44
@JimStrabo @CoralieAlison Obscenity isn't free speech, but you wouldn't know that because you don't care about free speech.
3
0
43
@sh6683396621159 @kjcmedianet @tommysantos14 @elonmusk Yeah man we can read. That's how we know hundreds of thousands of mail in ballots is worth more than 17,000 registrations that Elon solicited with a non-binding giveaway that Democrats could participate in.
1
0
26
@V0LCANICBIRD Idk half the time I think someone on this app is being ironic, they end up advocating for war crimes.
0
1
39
@GuapoRoyal @DansHumbleOnion @fawnsfairy I don't think they were joking. I think they were being relatable. Are you trying to be relatable?.
1
0
36
@1Princessaa @GhostFreeOr1056 Bro it's all about her because she's one who got abused. Everyone understands men have emotions except men. His emotions are valid, but nowhere near what hers should be after what she went through. We can talk about him, but not like he's the real victim. He's the aftermath.
1
1
39
@postros @e__mote @ConsPostingLs How does dyeing your hair show you have less character and ethics than someone else?.
2
0
35
@Cr7Godbrand @Chicquie5 @ChiefWitxh They'll have great success with the smart ones, they actually listen.
2
0
32
@__just_jen__ @kindofsquishy No one said this wasn't perfectionism. You're implying these are mutually exclusive. Someone labelling you a perfectionist vs the education system labelling you above average are two very different scenarios, and you're ignoring the significance of the latter by deciding it's not.
1
0
34
@kissmyassburger @itstanjay @esjesjesj And I imagine that you are probably wrong. How much is an acceptable amount of pollution 20 years later for dropping rubber down a hill to sell TVs? . What damage has it caused?. What are any lasting effects, if any?. If you can't definitively answer these, speculation is moot.
1
0
38
@OldHeadHST @Strange_Heros @DontWorryBoutB "My father almost had me killed trying to ride a bike, but it's fine because after years of therapy I can finally sit on one without crying! It worked!".
0
0
35
@XL0coSTkiLLer @KamilMPoet @kinjaldave7 Another hill? You're already bleeding out on "natty chicken flavour" ridge. Just salt it dude. You'll be surprised how much difference it makes I promise.
1
0
31
@ampleflex @JustAnthrArtist @CyberBruh404 @OsheaJacksonJr If glacier water is safe why would you tell someone to gargle with it as an insult?
1
1
36
@mr_dudeguy @PrinnyWesker @ContraDeletes The irony is life threatening. By your logic, the christians who stand on busy street corners with photos of mutilated fetuses are furthering their cause in an appropriate manner? If you're so moved, what have you been doing for Palestine? Besides complaining on social media, ofc.
0
0
32
@dannycage101 @asteroidsatmos @_Kordei Guess what dude, millions of women get assaulted every year. I'm sorry for those "100s" of men. I'm sorry if I choose not to be skeptical of a bitter, immature, spiteful man being abusive towards his ex who he publically treated poorly. Maybe save your energy for another time.
2
0
36
@chopperface69 @honeyflower113 @FemCondition @wimpymomdiary You are literally commenting on a post about a woman who is possessive over her 19 year old son dating because she was his "first love" 🤢.
1
1
32
@MagicJourney69 @SonicNurseGoo @texasrunnerDFW @ellegist Go outside and take a break from social media, you'll see plenty of people that you consider "top men" and high value women" who are not dating other "high value" people. You see the world through a nihilistic, hyper-reductionist dsytopia cause it's easier for you to grasp.
2
0
32
@uckersSket When someone says "let's do it for old times' sake" do you correct them and say "times' sake"?.
1
0
34
@midjer_bliss @Ceezium @Kurrco Elvis' favourite snack was 8 fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches, sometimes with bacon. I think he may have had other problems going on too.
0
0
28
@ThunderSooner10 @Nljigakulive @InfiniteAgera @ZakleraNya @PopBase It's gonna be America last at this rate.
0
0
33
@AryaWarSwagMagi @p8stie @PissSink Running away because you're scared that a polite flirtatious request is going to emasculate you? If that's not submissive then nothing is 😂.
2
0
31
@heyotetsuo @RemakingManhood No one needs a counter argument to point out that you're trying to explain mansplaining to people discussing mansplaining on a post about mainsplaining. Maybe your expertise could be better used elsewhere, like when someone asks. .
1
0
28
@hoboken_gary @AedricOisin @benchgangblvck @Joan_Atoms He definitely only punched the 11 that you saw in the 10 second video and then promised he will never do it again
1
0
30
@WigginsWick22 @PopBase There is literally a guy who goes around writing god awful songs about Trump who calls himself "the MAGA rapper"
2
0
31
@Garrydwilliams4 @caseyjohnston @YoungerPope @LizRummy Which Twitter were you using that kept working just fine? The same one that now has a post limit because it can't handle all the same amount of traffic anymore?.
0
0
27
@waybackintimes @Southside_Gunn With all due respect as a white man, this is the funniest video I have seen in forever. The commentary, the khakis, the guy who swam to help, the chair, perfection.
0
0
29
@Romeo154390 @s_machakos @itsandreabotez Good thing there are people like you to hold her accountable. How dare she not win all her chess games! I bet being negged by randos on twitter will encourage her to practice more, you're supporting a great cause.
1
0
28
@AmericanmikeRg @fridgelass @DramaAlert Thankfully Charlie will still sleep at night knowing he acted like an adult and didn't make a scene over a children's sports drink.
1
0
25