Ukraine's got grandmas throwing Molotov cocktails in Kyiv, and America's got Q-a-moms throwing hissy fits in Starbucks. If you call everything "tyranny" then the word becomes meaningless.
Remember how Elon Musk announced he would fund the legal costs for anyone who got fired for their tweets? Well there's a guy being executed in Saudi Arabia over his tweets (9 followers) and Elon is the executioner's (Prince Bonesaw's) close personal friend and business partner.
The reason you never see the Proud Boys getting arrested by some local police officers is the same reason you never see Miley Cyrus hanging out with Hannah Montana
Greg Abbott wants everyone to think the family of AR-15 massacre victims in Texas this weekend were illegally living inside this country. They were not, they had permanent resident status. The were as legal as Ted fucking Cruz
Republicans will tell you "the gays are coming for your children" and then immediately turn around and pass a law making it legal to marry 13 year old girls in Kentucky
During the 2017 Las Vegas mass shooting (where 60 American citizens died at a country music festival) the singer on stage at the time was Jason Aldean. Without warning the crowd, he heroically dropped his mic and ran like a MF Josh Hawley on January 6th. Try that in a small town.
Hey dipshits: Jeffrey Epstein died when Donald Trump was President of the United States. Why didn't he release the client list when he had the power to do so?
The fact that Herschel Walker is being defended by every opponent of abortion in America right now means it was never about abortion and it was always about controlling women.
When you understand that Marjorie Taylor Greene initially gained fame by harassing Parkland High School shooting survivors on the sidewalk, and then posting the videos of it to Facebook, you quickly realize how irredeemably fucked up the entire Republican Party is.
Now watch he won't let nobody follow me. Motherfucker had me shadowbanned six ways from Sunday. He was unfollowing people from my account in the middle of the night like some kind of goddamn "Incel on the Shelf
Republicans will tell you "the gays are coming for your children" and then immediately turn around and pass a law making it legal to marry 13 year old girls in Kentucky
When you understand that Marjorie Taylor Greene initially gained her fame by harassing high school mass shooting survivors on the sidewalk (and then posting the videos of it to Facebook) you quickly realize how irredeemably fucked up the entire Republican Party is
When the police are too afraid to stop a mass shooter (like Uvalde) it means the weapons available to the mass shooters are too deadly for civilized society
The Secret Service is pretty quick to report a tiny bag of cocaine considering they deleted all their text messages concerning an attempted fucking coup
FACT: Joe Biden just offered the Republicans the most comprehensive and expensive border control deal in American history and they rejected it because they'd have nothing to cry about on Fox News
Madison Cawthorn is always like "that picture or video was from a long time ago" and I'm like motherfucker you're 26 years old, I have video game consoles older than you. Everything you've ever done is recent.
I picked this Twitter name because I thought it would make people laugh, not because I expected it to confuse a vast subset of Republicans. I am not the actor Liam Neeson. Jesus you people are dumb as rocks
Motherfuckers I'm not a radical. I'm just a suburban dad, and up until a few years ago I was still a Republican. You need to understand that Donald Trump is the biggest threat to national security since the Cuban missile crisis
I'm here wearin' flip-flops in December, but America's biggest climate change legislation in history is being blocked by a Democratic senator who owns a coal mine and lives on a yacht.
I told you MF's I was unbannable, and after come heart-to-heart conversations with friends, I have regained my unwavering confidence to fuck with the internet Nazis. Come at me Reuters
"Justice Kavanaugh, there are angry protestors outside the restaurant!"
"Then we must abort the meal and escape."
"Back alley?"
"Yes...Unfortunately it's the only option we've got left."
I recently lost about 225,000 Twitter followers, so you guys are gonna hafta retweet me a lot harder than usual today, my muchachos. The safe word is
#FreeLiamNissan
So it sounds like Matt Gaetz was caught having a sexual relationship with a male on his staff which gives me about a thousand new questions concerning his legally-adopted pool boy named Nestor.
Even if you found a baby sasquatch living in a dumpster behind a Dairy Queen, adopted it, and then educated it on absolutely nothing but Jerry Springer reruns and beef jerky nutrition facts, that sasquatch would still make a better congressional rep than Marjorie Taylor Greene
Hey dipshits, maybe if you hadn't manufactured and distributed "CIVIL WAR" shirts and then documented your coup attempt with GoPro cameras I'd believe you were innocent
I have a feeling Lauren Boebert is gonna trend today after witnesses in a Colorado restaurant tonight saw the congresswoman punch her estranged husband Jayson in the nose
Trump doesn't care that Melania found out. He paid Stormy Daniels so the American voter wouldn't find out. That's why we're here folks, election interference
like and retweet this for two reasons:
-Elon unfollows people from my account in the middle of the night like some kind of goddamn Incelf on the Shelf
-We're making a podcast
Hilarious. Trump abruptly fired this kid because he posted a photo of Alina Habba attending the party when she told the judge she was too sick to be in court. Cry harder MAGAT
The GOP forged election documents in seven goddamned states. Literally hundreds of legislators were involved. We MUST prosecute every last one of those seditious traitors.