call me cismale
@clamatoes
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political irrealist, illogical positivist, censer of phosphorus, calyx of hesperus, one chanting star among the millions perfect
axilla of the total sphere
Joined October 2010
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Pinned Tweet
if you can call from memory an excerpt of that great bard Shakespeare’s incredibly far-reaching corpus that contemplates your very situation, it is considerable consolation what’er betide you.
Thinking about his meditation on having to shit during a shower helped me today
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they announced a guy passed in the Microsoft teams meeting and a late joiner got caught up to speed
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Jonah, 750 BC
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@breaking2morrow
lmao nah they just weirdly called a meeting that seemed routine simply to tell everyone a guy who retired 11 years ago or something died
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Texas Police Lieutenant Says Cops Were Reluctant to Engage Gunman Because ‘They Could’ve Been Shot’
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they bade us be especially sure not to miss this weekly district huddle-call in which an administrator made slides to explain the blow by blow of a man who retired before any of the rest of us worked here’s palliative care schedule but offered no funeral info …& you’re laughing?
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my hotel neighbor had a more interesting night than I did
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I should really stress here that nobody on the call had ever worked with or even met the deceased as far as I know lol
This is all you get from the people u work with I promise you. Have good friends out of work for Christ sake
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can’t relate I understand art and speech acts from all times and peoples through the power of tendrilous astral empathies thrown from my heart to far corners of the world. another skill issue it seems
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Looks to be doing an incredibly shitty job of it honestly
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I told my kid flippantly but with the full weight of my oratorical intensity that her brain was being malformed by her screen addictions and she didn’t roll her eyes or call me old she freaked out and broke down crying and I felt so bad lol
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No see they eulogized the guy for like 9 minutes despite the fact none of the audience had met him before it’s as though the RES GESTÆ DIVI AUGUSTI was being read out to an assembly of Samaritans in a desert market square. It’s the exact opposite dynamic
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there is no spiritual world of any kind entailed by evangelicalism it is atheist materialism animated by rumors of a longer, better air conditioned auditorium somewhere in the stratosphere with a handsomer preacher called Jehovah filling it with his sillier dad jokes
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sometimes I think the for you tab is just one of Elon’s monkey lobotomies he’s trying to perform on me uncompensated
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@zlingerrr
Me personally I love to live in a sparsely lit area where drunks are patrolling to shoot somebody with state sanction
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@NBAMemes
@Kenny16Techs
Kawhi has 2% more career steals than fouls (988 fouls vs 1013 steals), pretty impressive
Jimmy has 13% more career steals than fouls (996 fouls vs 1127 steals), absolutely insane
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Delve
be neither a supplicant, always on the periphery of change & seeking favor from benefactors, nor the permanent protester, raising righteous anger while waiting for bigtech to expiate its guilt.
Delve
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@celine_dionysus
Their rapport did seem to suggest a kind of kinky if affected worshipfulness but how do you know his name was mecca
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don’t want to hear about how North Korea has an insane delusional relationship with their head of state ever again
Good Morning and Happy Monday President Biden's recent appearance on 60 Minutes serves as a constant reminder of his unmatched capability for the job. His extraordinary empathy, compassion, and comprehensive comprehension of intricate foreign policy matters are truly remarkable
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@currypiston
@la_reapeat
Two of the most entertaining epic Finals games in recent memory why wouldn’t EVERYBODY hang onto them
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@allahliker
Now erm let’s start with the claim that I am an “ass,” which erm is either a donkey or a section of the human anatomy that gets kicked in anger, elicits indignation when it’s heard from & erm generally spews shit when it does anything at all: clearly a baseless assertion
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A guy is at this McDonald's w his 7 yo & they're each eating a big breakfast with pancakes & also a hot fudge sundae & also fuck my dad
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@JoshLekach
@elonmusk
Big demand for a clarinetist with a mediocre SAT score you know he prepped his way into absolutely maximizing lol. That’ll really take a company to the next level
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why do they got an airline seat in their house ?!
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We had to have like a neuroplasticity pow wow to walk her back from the brink anxiety is a hell of a thing
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@nokia3108
I want to understand the rose petals. She got let inside like 8 seconds after this and seemed to be having a great time!
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@zlingerrr
Attending an Ivy League football game is truly surreal these dudes are slower than the kids I played with on high school
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Increasingly convinced that a lot of the character traits we assign to basketball teams ("focus," "mental toughness," "determination," etc.) are primarily products of shooting luck.
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@JoshSmithBurner
@TheTrueRealest
@thelastsemento
He’s got backup excuses for when the first couple get defeated lol
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@cal_gif
Also the door looks open and the elevator seems stationary here, but when you see the back view it looks like it’s rising over the city??
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@ScriptsByJames
@Herrojuku
@daniel_barcelo_
@HunchoJt__
@ESPNStatsInfo
Not even joking what shot is he talking about
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@YoLo72583060
@MiddyorNate
@BlkholeAllst3rs
@averagemavsfan7
@Allenownz
@LegionHoops
@Krisplashed
This is an obvious lie for many reasons lol
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The US Congress: I did my constituents wrong and I got to spend about six hundred dollars
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[watching basketball, in the brief silence after a Toyota ad]
My kid [wistfully]: ...Toyota is so important
Me: [lol] what, why?
7yo: everyone has Toyota
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@exMalwa
New York, Houston, Detroit, Boston, London, Berlin, Rome, Moscow, Beijing, Tokyo, Stockholm lol a lot of the main cities labeled on clocks in hotel lobbies lol
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@alfonsohoops
@CJenkins_Wx
How do you shoot 86% on FTs / 20% on 3s? Ppl talk about the wrist but I’m 90% sure it’s 100% mental and not like Ben Simmons mental but Jimmy being ornery about someone warning him that he needs to shoot them once so he’s proving a point lol (35% from 3 during 2020 playoffs btw)
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@cal_gif
Ok I think it’s just a normal elevator and people are getting on and off as she’s doing this. Man lmao
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This headline made me die laughing however very Norm MacDonald weekend update
Texas Police Lieutenant Says Cops Were Reluctant to Engage Gunman Because ‘They Could’ve Been Shot’
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@olivertraldi
[throwing voice] maybe to *really* show them, let’s have sex with the dudes we normally ignore
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@CydZeigler
Kobe screamed the f slur at a referee during a game and they’re trying to make him the logo 😂 good luck getting these people to care
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@maplecocaine
@buttpraxis
The women in the videos begin the videos by talking about eg how they were excited to add him to their “stable of dudes” and then proceed to freak out that they have been inducted in a stable of women. It’s all beyond me
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They don’t even do children of the corn stuff. They carry signs at AIDS funerals and ostracize their sons for changing their pronouns and step over the suffering to make their way to the prayer breakfast. It’s horrible sure, but the genre delimits inclusion of this story
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@zlingray
Husband of a girl who works w my sister quit his construction job recently. Former boss took out a few PPP loans, not realizing (guy is a dolt) he couldn’t really just pocket it. Sent all employees a “revised” W2 showing like $27,000 in “bonuses” paid last year lol
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True excess is imposed as ruthlessly on the body as the cruelest monastic abstemy, it is no leniency to animal instinct the animal neither hoards nor poisons itself with pleasure, the addict & the monk both aim to kill the animal that they are
One thing I find so mysterious about this guy is how he went from apparently very low self-control (philandering, booze for breakfast, horrible diet) to inhuman, freakish self-control. How often does that happen? People are a damn puzzle, man.
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It would be impossible to make a spooky movie about this. A trenchant social drama or psychologically gripping character piece, definitely, but not horror as typically conceived
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@ErikDornal
@greg_price11
The “then as now” is absolutely egregious, how can you think this is a gotcha for the OP? This is incredible
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@IraHeatBeat
How about the play where Bridges stepped out of bounds holding the ball and they let him score? Any correction on that?
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"'Torque,' eh? Sounds like the name of a Cirque du Soleil show," I say handing my dad a wrench in the garage as he dies a little more inside
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@allahliker
taking a person’s breasts is to de-dragon their chaos cave and thereby flop-soften the great hero’s solar wiener, you knave, you absolute luciferian tool
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@fart
these tweets are like when my dog just flips the fuck out and tears ass around the house & wipes out into an ottoman
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@allahliker
Chirgurh has a Scarface effect on dudes you have to account for. Now while no country is a masterpiece and Scarface is you know, not, it’s manifestly not as good as TWBB if you don’t get all college dorm room poster about your analysis
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@SAlgotrader
indeed, not sure why I was invited tbh they basically only talked about a guy I never met dying
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@nickmhc
@therechigoes
lol it’s crazy what an unexpected and extremely painful playoff exit does to a mf I guess
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@davidpgoldman
@RealSamLockhart
We in the enlightened west realize that child murder is only permissible when performed by western militaries as western-imperial regime maintenance when those children are not full citizens of one of its vassal states
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@zlingray
wrote out some checks, photocopied them, shredded them, and doesn’t understand why the employees (who are facing now massive tax exposures on wages they never got paid) are giving him a hard time about it
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@NinaNyxa
@Marq_Lafayette9
@AstuteCFO
The rest of the forensic analysis is completely irrelevant once they bragged about it. The reaction to seeing hundreds of infirm incinerated being not even “whoops” or “oh, fuck” but “niiice” is sufficiently damning it really doesn’t matter where the blast came from
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@poisonjr
Has this dude never seen anything printed before computers yet still thinks he can forensically delineate between printing epochs? I love this website man
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@nickmhc
@therechigoes
He’s still bouncing from impact when Tatum steps on him while looking at the ref a completely different direction lol. You people need help
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